A friend of mine, let’s call him Bob, thought his wife wasn’t hearing
as well as she used to. Thinking she might need a hearing aid, he
called their family doctor.
He told Bob there was a simple, informal test he could use to
give the doctor a better idea of the extent of her hearing loss.
“Stand about 40 feet away from her, and, in a normal,
conversational voice ask her something. If she doesn’t respond,
move to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.”
That evening, while his wife was fixing dinner, he went to the
den, about 40 feet away from the kitchen. In a normal tone of
voice he asked, “Honey, what's for dinner?”
No response.
He moved closer. Standing about 30 feet from his wife, he
repeated, “Honey, what's for dinner?”
No response.
So he moved into the dining room, about 20 feet from his wife,
and asked, “Honey, what's for dinner?”
Again, no response.
Standing at the kitchen door, about 10 feet away, “Honey,
what's for dinner?”
And again, no response.
So he walked right up behind his wife and said, “Honey, what's
for dinner?”
She replied, “For the fifth time: CHICKEN!”
A man is driving down a country road when he spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.
The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him, "Ah excuse me mister, but what are you doing?"
The farmer replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize."
"How?" asks the man, puzzled.
"Well I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in their field."
A little girl was asked what she wanted most for her birthday and she declared: "A baby brother."
"Daddy and I would like to give you a baby brother," said her mom, "but there isn't time before your birthday."
"Why don't you do like they do down at Daddy's factory when they want something in a hurry? Put more men on the job."
How about this frequently seen ad here on Canadas west coast in super markets:
"Freshly caught organic Alaskan Halibut from local waters received this morning."
@YQQ said:
How about this frequently seen ad here on Canadas west coast in super markets:
"Freshly caught organic Alaskan Halibut from local waters received this morning."
@CCGGG said:
If you were born before they stopped minting wheat cents, you'll get this joke. Afterwards, maybe not.
For those unoriented:
"TO THE MOON, ALICE!! TO THE MOON!!"
"BANG!! ZOOM!!"
This is from a very popular sitcom from the 1950's and early 1960's called "The Honeymooners." Jackie Gleason played Ralph Kramden who would get into fights with his wife and this was his standard line. Of course, they would always kiss and make up at the end of the show.
Alice, you're the greatest.
USAF (Ret) 1974 - 1994 - The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries. Remembering RickO, a brother in arms.
A woman was concerned that her dog may be going deaf. He doesn't come when she calls, so she took him to the vet.
VET: Here's the problem. Your dog's fur has grown thickly around his ears and it's blocking the sound.
WOMAN: What should I do?
VET: Just go to the pharmacy and pick up some Nair and apply it lightly. The fur will be harmlessly removed and your dog's hearing will be restored.
So, the woman goes to the pharmacy, pick out a package of Nair and goes to the register.
PHARMACIST: Wear short pants for a couple of days after using this.
WOMAN: I'm not using it on my legs.
PHARMACIST: Wear a tank top for a couple of days after using this.
WOMAN: I'm not using this on my underarms.
PHARMACIST: Well, where are you using it?
WOMAN: If you MUST know, I'm using it on my Schnauzer.
PHARMACIST: Then don't ride a bike for a week.
USAF (Ret) 1974 - 1994 - The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries. Remembering RickO, a brother in arms.
While driving in Pennsylvania , a family caught up to an Amish
carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor,
because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed
sign... "Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do
not step in exhaust."
The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask
the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting
for repairs to the church building. Therefore, he was annoyed to find
that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought
in at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know what to play.
"Here's a copy of the service," he said impatiently. "But, you'll have
to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the
finances."
During the service, the minister paused and said, "Brothers and
Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as
much as we expected and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge
$100 or more, please stand up."
At that moment, the substitute organist played "The Star Spangled
Banner."
And that is how the substitute became the regular organist!
Comments
Cheers, RickO
Donato
Donato's Complete US Type Set ---- Donato's Dansco 7070 Modified Type Set ---- Donato's Basic U.S. Coin Design Set
Successful transactions: Shrub68 (Jim), MWallace (Mike)
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
I was thinking Die Crack!!
A friend of mine, let’s call him Bob, thought his wife wasn’t hearing
as well as she used to. Thinking she might need a hearing aid, he
called their family doctor.
He told Bob there was a simple, informal test he could use to
give the doctor a better idea of the extent of her hearing loss.
“Stand about 40 feet away from her, and, in a normal,
conversational voice ask her something. If she doesn’t respond,
move to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.”
That evening, while his wife was fixing dinner, he went to the
den, about 40 feet away from the kitchen. In a normal tone of
voice he asked, “Honey, what's for dinner?”
No response.
He moved closer. Standing about 30 feet from his wife, he
repeated, “Honey, what's for dinner?”
No response.
So he moved into the dining room, about 20 feet from his wife,
and asked, “Honey, what's for dinner?”
Again, no response.
Standing at the kitchen door, about 10 feet away, “Honey,
what's for dinner?”
And again, no response.
So he walked right up behind his wife and said, “Honey, what's
for dinner?”
She replied, “For the fifth time: CHICKEN!”
Do you "Crack" it out and send to PCGS or just try to cross it over.
Lafayette Grading Set
No, I'm more of a split planchet guy!
Plumber?
Reminds me of this comedic piece on home improvement shows:
That reminds me, an assistant is what I need, coins just don't cut it.
Note: Barber shop soon.
Heavy pockets could be the issue.
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Housing is getting tough to find in the OC.
Judge: Silence in court! The next person who laughs again will be thrown out of court.
Accused: Hahahaha
Judge: I wasn't talking to you!
Cheers, RickO
A man is driving down a country road when he spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.
The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him, "Ah excuse me mister, but what are you doing?"
The farmer replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize."
"How?" asks the man, puzzled.
"Well I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in their field."
Cheers, RickO
A little girl was asked what she wanted most for her birthday and she declared: "A baby brother."
"Daddy and I would like to give you a baby brother," said her mom, "but there isn't time before your birthday."
"Why don't you do like they do down at Daddy's factory when they want something in a hurry? Put more men on the job."
Cheers, RickO
Here are some more actual headlines (this is why we want to keep print newspaper!):
PROSTITUTES APPEAL TO POPE
MRS. RYDELL'S BUST UNVEILED AT NEARBY SCHOOL
PANDA MATING FAILS; VETERINARIAN TAKES OVER
NUNS DROP SUIT, BISHOPS AGREEE TO AID THEM
N.J. JUDGE TO RULE ON NUDE BEACH
CHILD'S STOOL GREAT FOR USE IN GARDENS
DR. RUTH TALKS ABOUT SEX WITH NEWSPAPER EDITORS
PASTOR AGHAST AT FIRST LADY SEX POSITION
STERILIZATION SOLVES PROBLEMS FOR PET OWNERS
BRITISH LEFT WAFFLES ON FALKLAND ISLANDS
TEACHER STRIKES IDLE KIDS
SQUAD HELPS DOG BITE VICTIM
LAWYERS GIVE POOR FREE LEGAL ADVICE
SHOT OFF WOMAN'S LEG HELPS NICKLAUS TO 66
ENRAGED COW INJURES FARMER WITH AX
MINERS REFUSE TO WORK AFTER DEATH
JUVENILE COURT TO TRY SHOOTING DEFENDANT
FUND SET UP FOR BEATING VICTIM'S KIN
2 SISTERS REUNITED AFTER 18 YEARS IN CHECKOUT COUNTER
Here's a warning parable for coin collectors...
Ah, hell.
I'm lost. This must be "the ridding of into the sunset part". Love Grand Prix cars.
Yep, still lost,
my map has a mind of its own. That should not be here.
Coinsof1984@martinb6830 on twitter
How about this frequently seen ad here on Canadas west coast in super markets:
"Freshly caught organic Alaskan Halibut from local waters received this morning."
We have Canada Geese in New Zealand...
Smitten with DBLCs.
Pete
Here's a warning parable for coin collectors...
Ridding?
Yes, I do declare, side saddle would be apropriete.
How's your momma and them, I hope she approve's.....spellcheck
Make a hole, make a hole!
"We got to move out of this phone booth."
Is the power on?
Alice, you're the greatest.
USAF (Ret) 1974 - 1994 - The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries. Remembering RickO, a brother in arms.
A woman was concerned that her dog may be going deaf. He doesn't come when she calls, so she took him to the vet.
VET: Here's the problem. Your dog's fur has grown thickly around his ears and it's blocking the sound.
WOMAN: What should I do?
VET: Just go to the pharmacy and pick up some Nair and apply it lightly. The fur will be harmlessly removed and your dog's hearing will be restored.
So, the woman goes to the pharmacy, pick out a package of Nair and goes to the register.
PHARMACIST: Wear short pants for a couple of days after using this.
WOMAN: I'm not using it on my legs.
PHARMACIST: Wear a tank top for a couple of days after using this.
WOMAN: I'm not using this on my underarms.
PHARMACIST: Well, where are you using it?
WOMAN: If you MUST know, I'm using it on my Schnauzer.
PHARMACIST: Then don't ride a bike for a week.
USAF (Ret) 1974 - 1994 - The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries. Remembering RickO, a brother in arms.
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Cheers, RickO
The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask
Cheers, RickO
U.S. Type Set
Coinsof1984@martinb6830 on twitter
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Cheers, RickO
Good one!
Coinsof1984@martinb6830 on twitter
...and that's how the @ symbol was invented.
Yo ! No horse flies.
Better yet, lets play....pin the tail on the donkey.
Louis Armstrong
Here's the one I meant to post.
Louis Armstrong