@ricko said:
A man walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter, and sees that it's filled to the brim with $10 bills. He guesses there must be at least ten thousand dollars in it.
He approaches the bartender and asks, "What's with the money in the jar?"
“Well..., you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, you get all the money in the jar and the keys to a brand new Ferrari."
The man certainly isn't going to pass this up, so he asks, "What are the three tests?"
"You gotta pay first," says the bartender, "those are the rules."
So, after thinking it over a while, the man gives the bartender $10 which he stuffs into the jar.
"Okay," says the bartender, "here's what you need to do: First - You have to drink a whole quart of tequila, in 60 seconds or less, and you can't make a face while doing it."
"Second - There's a pit bull chained in the back with a bad tooth. You have to remove that tooth with your bare hands."
"Third - There's a 90-year old lady upstairs who's never had sex. You have to take care of that problem." The man is stunned! "I know I paid my $10 - but I'm not an idiot! I won't do it! You'd have to be nuts to drink a quart of tequila and then do all those other things!"
"Your call," says the bartender, "but, your money stays where it is.."
As time goes on, the man has a few more drinks and finally says, "Where's the damn tequila?!" He grabs the bottle with both hands and drinks it as fast as he can.. Tears stream down both cheeks -- but he doesn't make a face -- and he drinks it in 58 seconds!
Next, he staggers out the back door where he sees the pit bull chained to a pole. Soon, the people inside the bar hear loud growling, screaming, and sounds of a terrible fight -- then nothing but silence!
Just when they think that the man surely must be dead, he staggers back into the bar. His clothes are ripped to shreds and he's bleeding from bites and gashes all over his body.
He drunkenly says, "Now..., where's that old woman with the bad tooth?
May have been posted before, cannot recall though. Cheers, RickO
I definitively can recall that I don't recall remembering.
While I have enjoyed the diversion of this thread from time to time, this is my first contribution.
Many here likely remember the joke pages that were located at the end of each issue of Boy's Life." One of the popular features in the 1990s were "Tom Swifties."
"Tom Swifties" had their origin from the "Tom Swift" series that were published in the early 1900s. Here are two of the "Tom Swift" books retrieved from my grandparent's ranch house back when I was a child. I offer them here for their historical precedent:
And here are some of the "Tom Swifites" that in the 1990s made it to the Boy Scout magazine's "Think and Grin" humor pages:
I've actually seen a few of these in-person... They're always funny to see
I like that there's at least two ways to read that lol!
Coins are Neato!
"If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone...somewhere...is making a penny." - Steven Wright
I've actually seen a few of these in-person... They're always funny to see
I like that there's at least two ways to read that lol!
?
As a verb or as a noun lol.
Coins are Neato!
"If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone...somewhere...is making a penny." - Steven Wright
Did anyone else's parents teach them to swim by throwing them in the water?
The swimming was pretty easy actually.
Getting out of that burlap sack was not so easy.
Lifeguard: Bob, you are officially banned from the pool.
Bob: Why is that?
Lifeguard: Because you pee in the pool!
Bob: But I'm not the only one.
Lifeguard: You're the only one doing it from the diving board.
Coins are Neato!
"If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone...somewhere...is making a penny." - Steven Wright
Comments
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Liked what she was wearing LOL
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
@marcmoish Please resist the temptation.
Smitten with DBLCs.
Cheers, RickO
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
The neighbor kid shot me with a plunger dart.
It bounced off, but not the plunger part.
Chicks dig it though. No, I'm not gonna show you.
I definitively can recall that I don't recall remembering.
peacockcoins
what exactly does it take to slow kids down?
https://youtube.com/watch?v=o35O9Tg4CtU
Cheers, RickO
Cheers, RickO
Here's a warning parable for coin collectors...
Cheers, RickO
While I have enjoyed the diversion of this thread from time to time, this is my first contribution.
Many here likely remember the joke pages that were located at the end of each issue of Boy's Life." One of the popular features in the 1990s were "Tom Swifties."
"Tom Swifties" had their origin from the "Tom Swift" series that were published in the early 1900s. Here are two of the "Tom Swift" books retrieved from my grandparent's ranch house back when I was a child. I offer them here for their historical precedent:
And here are some of the "Tom Swifites" that in the 1990s made it to the Boy Scout magazine's "Think and Grin" humor pages:
Worm ?
I think it looks like a little big man's footstep.
What ? A small zincger ?
Ok, the critter fooled me.
It's a slug bug.
Coinsof1984@martinb6830 on twitter
Every wonder…
Why is the letter W, in English, called double U? Shouldn't it be called double V?
Maybe oxygen is slowly killing you, and it just takes 75-100 years to fully work.
110 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses.
Pete
Just bumping around at the fair,
Still at the fairground, I'm gonna try that, can't be that hard.
i find this one funnier than i probably should. it really helps if you peruse the first half a dozen comments or so and then view the vid.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=ebJpoLs7AQs
Louis Armstrong
I like that there's at least two ways to read that lol!
Coins are Neato!
"If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone...somewhere...is making a penny." - Steven Wright
As a verb or as a noun lol.
Coins are Neato!
"If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone...somewhere...is making a penny." - Steven Wright
Did anyone else's parents teach them to swim by throwing them in the water?
The swimming was pretty easy actually.
Getting out of that burlap sack was not so easy.
Lifeguard: Bob, you are officially banned from the pool.
Bob: Why is that?
Lifeguard: Because you pee in the pool!
Bob: But I'm not the only one.
Lifeguard: You're the only one doing it from the diving board.
Coins are Neato!
"If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone...somewhere...is making a penny." - Steven Wright
Cheers, RickO
ok. if this doesn't make you laugh, nothing will and you should just go collect stamps.
duck playing drum
Cheers, RickO
Cheers, RickO
ok. i'm impressed!
i haven't but i'll give it a try. i was literally just looking for sometihng to watch and saw your comment.
For some fun on a Sunday, I went skydiving yesterday for the first time.
This guy strapped himself to me, we jumped out of the plane.
As we plummeted, he yelled over the wind, "So… How long have you been an instructor?"
Yep I'm there
Lafayette Grading Set
Here's a warning parable for coin collectors...