Did anyone else's parents teach them to swim by throwing them in the water?
The swimming was pretty easy actually.
Getting out of that burlap sack was not so easy.
Lifeguard: Bob, you are officially banned from the pool.
Bob: Why is that?
Lifeguard: Because you pee in the pool!
Bob: But I'm not the only one.
Lifeguard: You're the only one doing it from the diving board.
Mary can't stand Sunday school, but her brother William doesn't have a problem with it.
So one day in Sunday school, Mary thinks, "The hell with it," and decides to go to sleep.
The teacher sees this and asks Mary a question to keep her awake.
"Mary, who created the heavens and the earth?"
William, who is sitting behind Mary, pokes her in the butt with his pencil. Mary wakes up and shouts, "God almighty!"
And the teacher says, "Yes. That's correct, Mary."
Mary goes back to sleep and the teacher asks her another question.
"Who died on the cross for our sins?"
William pokes Mary again. She wakes up and shouts, "Jesus "
Once again, she goes back to sleep.
This time the teacher asks, "Mary, what was the first thing Eve said to Adam?"
William pokes her again.
Mary wakes up and shouts, "If you don't stop poking me with that thing, I'm gonna break it off!"
Two grandmas, Agnes and Esme, are meeting at a café.
They’re having a nice chat over cake and coffee when suddenly Agnes remarks, “Um, Esme, you seem to have a suppository in your left ear…”
Esme is surprised and fishes the suppository out of her ear, looks at it for a while and sighs, “Well I guess I know where to find my hearing aid then.”
Why did the blind man walk into the well?
He did not see that well.
What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet?
Usual response: "R"
Yarr, ye'd think it be "R", but a true pirate's first love be the "C"
.....
What’s a pirate’s least favorite letter?...
Dear sir or madam,
Your IP address has been flagged or illegally downloading movies. We will have to suspend your account, pending further investigation.
Sincerely,
Your internet provider.
I just learned Einstein was a real person!
I always thought he was just a theoretical physicist.
@CCGGG said:
If you were born before they stopped minting wheat cents, you'll get this joke. Afterwards, maybe not.
For those unoriented:
"TO THE MOON, ALICE!! TO THE MOON!!"
"BANG!! ZOOM!!"
This is from a very popular sitcom from the 1950's and early 1960's called "The Honeymooners." Jackie Gleason played Ralph Kramden who would get into fights with his wife and this was his standard line. Of course, they would always kiss and make up at the end of the show.
Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe.
"Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value---zero."----Voltaire
"Everything you say should be true, but not everything true should be said."----Voltaire
Comments
Just bumping around at the fair,
Still at the fairground, I'm gonna try that, can't be that hard.
i find this one funnier than i probably should. it really helps if you peruse the first half a dozen comments or so and then view the vid.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=ebJpoLs7AQs
<--- look what's behind the mask! - cool link 1/NO ~ 2/NNP ~ 3/NNC ~ 4/CF ~ 5/PG ~ 6/Cert ~ 7/NGC 7a/NGC pop~ 8/NGCF ~ 9/HA archives ~ 10/PM ~ 11/NM ~ 12/ANACS cert ~ 13/ANACS pop - report fakes 1/ACEF ~ report fakes/thefts 1/NCIS - Numi-Classes SS ~ Bass ~ Transcribed Docs NNP - clashed coins - error training - V V mm styles -
Louis Armstrong
I like that there's at least two ways to read that lol!
Coins are Neato!
"If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone...somewhere...is making a penny." - Steven Wright
As a verb or as a noun lol.
Coins are Neato!
"If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone...somewhere...is making a penny." - Steven Wright
Did anyone else's parents teach them to swim by throwing them in the water?
The swimming was pretty easy actually.
Getting out of that burlap sack was not so easy.
Lifeguard: Bob, you are officially banned from the pool.
Bob: Why is that?
Lifeguard: Because you pee in the pool!
Bob: But I'm not the only one.
Lifeguard: You're the only one doing it from the diving board.
Coins are Neato!
"If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone...somewhere...is making a penny." - Steven Wright
Cheers, RickO
ok. if this doesn't make you laugh, nothing will and you should just go collect stamps.
duck playing drum
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdnlptVP2B8
<--- look what's behind the mask! - cool link 1/NO ~ 2/NNP ~ 3/NNC ~ 4/CF ~ 5/PG ~ 6/Cert ~ 7/NGC 7a/NGC pop~ 8/NGCF ~ 9/HA archives ~ 10/PM ~ 11/NM ~ 12/ANACS cert ~ 13/ANACS pop - report fakes 1/ACEF ~ report fakes/thefts 1/NCIS - Numi-Classes SS ~ Bass ~ Transcribed Docs NNP - clashed coins - error training - V V mm styles -
Cheers, RickO
Cheers, RickO
ok. i'm impressed!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3e7QimN1lFw
<--- look what's behind the mask! - cool link 1/NO ~ 2/NNP ~ 3/NNC ~ 4/CF ~ 5/PG ~ 6/Cert ~ 7/NGC 7a/NGC pop~ 8/NGCF ~ 9/HA archives ~ 10/PM ~ 11/NM ~ 12/ANACS cert ~ 13/ANACS pop - report fakes 1/ACEF ~ report fakes/thefts 1/NCIS - Numi-Classes SS ~ Bass ~ Transcribed Docs NNP - clashed coins - error training - V V mm styles -
i haven't but i'll give it a try. i was literally just looking for sometihng to watch and saw your comment.
<--- look what's behind the mask! - cool link 1/NO ~ 2/NNP ~ 3/NNC ~ 4/CF ~ 5/PG ~ 6/Cert ~ 7/NGC 7a/NGC pop~ 8/NGCF ~ 9/HA archives ~ 10/PM ~ 11/NM ~ 12/ANACS cert ~ 13/ANACS pop - report fakes 1/ACEF ~ report fakes/thefts 1/NCIS - Numi-Classes SS ~ Bass ~ Transcribed Docs NNP - clashed coins - error training - V V mm styles -
For some fun on a Sunday, I went skydiving yesterday for the first time.
This guy strapped himself to me, we jumped out of the plane.
As we plummeted, he yelled over the wind, "So… How long have you been an instructor?"
Yep I'm there
Lafayette Grading Set
Here's a warning parable for coin collectors...
For those with a limited attention span...
Always borrow money from a pessimist.
He won't expect it back.
Mary can't stand Sunday school, but her brother William doesn't have a problem with it.
So one day in Sunday school, Mary thinks, "The hell with it," and decides to go to sleep.
The teacher sees this and asks Mary a question to keep her awake.
"Mary, who created the heavens and the earth?"
William, who is sitting behind Mary, pokes her in the butt with his pencil. Mary wakes up and shouts, "God almighty!"
And the teacher says, "Yes. That's correct, Mary."
Mary goes back to sleep and the teacher asks her another question.
"Who died on the cross for our sins?"
William pokes Mary again. She wakes up and shouts, "Jesus "
Once again, she goes back to sleep.
This time the teacher asks, "Mary, what was the first thing Eve said to Adam?"
William pokes her again.
Mary wakes up and shouts, "If you don't stop poking me with that thing, I'm gonna break it off!"
US or worldwide?
.
.
oh, definitely world-wide!
that is one funny duck.
<--- look what's behind the mask! - cool link 1/NO ~ 2/NNP ~ 3/NNC ~ 4/CF ~ 5/PG ~ 6/Cert ~ 7/NGC 7a/NGC pop~ 8/NGCF ~ 9/HA archives ~ 10/PM ~ 11/NM ~ 12/ANACS cert ~ 13/ANACS pop - report fakes 1/ACEF ~ report fakes/thefts 1/NCIS - Numi-Classes SS ~ Bass ~ Transcribed Docs NNP - clashed coins - error training - V V mm styles -
Ya, she's a looker.
Two grandmas, Agnes and Esme, are meeting at a café.
They’re having a nice chat over cake and coffee when suddenly Agnes remarks, “Um, Esme, you seem to have a suppository in your left ear…”
Esme is surprised and fishes the suppository out of her ear, looks at it for a while and sighs, “Well I guess I know where to find my hearing aid then.”
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
<--- look what's behind the mask! - cool link 1/NO ~ 2/NNP ~ 3/NNC ~ 4/CF ~ 5/PG ~ 6/Cert ~ 7/NGC 7a/NGC pop~ 8/NGCF ~ 9/HA archives ~ 10/PM ~ 11/NM ~ 12/ANACS cert ~ 13/ANACS pop - report fakes 1/ACEF ~ report fakes/thefts 1/NCIS - Numi-Classes SS ~ Bass ~ Transcribed Docs NNP - clashed coins - error training - V V mm styles -
Pete
Yep, lumber prices are really getting high...
Cheers, RickO
Why did the blind man walk into the well?
He did not see that well.
What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet?
Usual response: "R"
Yarr, ye'd think it be "R", but a true pirate's first love be the "C"
.....
What’s a pirate’s least favorite letter?...
Dear sir or madam,
Your IP address has been flagged or illegally downloading movies. We will have to suspend your account, pending further investigation.
Sincerely,
Your internet provider.
I just learned Einstein was a real person!
I always thought he was just a theoretical physicist.
Coins are Neato!
"If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone...somewhere...is making a penny." - Steven Wright
Person's who take part in an organized attempt to influence. (FANS)
Please wear a hat, Coat tails are also recommended.
I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find someone older than me.
Cheers, RickO
If you were born before they stopped minting wheat cents, you'll get this joke. Afterwards, maybe not.
this is about the most SFW version i can find of this. but in this world of digital approval/validation, it still rings true.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJRG4H-PIJc
<--- look what's behind the mask! - cool link 1/NO ~ 2/NNP ~ 3/NNC ~ 4/CF ~ 5/PG ~ 6/Cert ~ 7/NGC 7a/NGC pop~ 8/NGCF ~ 9/HA archives ~ 10/PM ~ 11/NM ~ 12/ANACS cert ~ 13/ANACS pop - report fakes 1/ACEF ~ report fakes/thefts 1/NCIS - Numi-Classes SS ~ Bass ~ Transcribed Docs NNP - clashed coins - error training - V V mm styles -
.
you sir, are correct.
<--- look what's behind the mask! - cool link 1/NO ~ 2/NNP ~ 3/NNC ~ 4/CF ~ 5/PG ~ 6/Cert ~ 7/NGC 7a/NGC pop~ 8/NGCF ~ 9/HA archives ~ 10/PM ~ 11/NM ~ 12/ANACS cert ~ 13/ANACS pop - report fakes 1/ACEF ~ report fakes/thefts 1/NCIS - Numi-Classes SS ~ Bass ~ Transcribed Docs NNP - clashed coins - error training - V V mm styles -
So an all points bulletin has been issued for Ralph's where a bouts. Ralph is considered armed and dangerous.
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
For those unoriented:
"TO THE MOON, ALICE!! TO THE MOON!!"
"BANG!! ZOOM!!"
Here's a warning parable for coin collectors...
Car 54 where are you ?
Ewe, ewe ! All points.
At a pit stop getting free air and a token cup of coffee.
This is from a very popular sitcom from the 1950's and early 1960's called "The Honeymooners." Jackie Gleason played Ralph Kramden who would get into fights with his wife and this was his standard line. Of course, they would always kiss and make up at the end of the show.
Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe.
"Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value---zero."----Voltaire
"Everything you say should be true, but not everything true should be said."----Voltaire
@PerryHall.... Back when comedy was funny....Cheers, RickO
Halfway through with April already.
Time, and the seasons, march on.
I am so excited about Spring that I wet my plants!
It is currently snowing here in Ma. My plants are very slushy.
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...