How about this frequently seen ad here on Canadas west coast in super markets:
"Freshly caught organic Alaskan Halibut from local waters received this morning."
@YQQ said:
How about this frequently seen ad here on Canadas west coast in super markets:
"Freshly caught organic Alaskan Halibut from local waters received this morning."
@CCGGG said:
If you were born before they stopped minting wheat cents, you'll get this joke. Afterwards, maybe not.
For those unoriented:
"TO THE MOON, ALICE!! TO THE MOON!!"
"BANG!! ZOOM!!"
This is from a very popular sitcom from the 1950's and early 1960's called "The Honeymooners." Jackie Gleason played Ralph Kramden who would get into fights with his wife and this was his standard line. Of course, they would always kiss and make up at the end of the show.
Alice, you're the greatest.
USAF (Ret) 1974 - 1994 - The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries. Remembering RickO, a brother in arms.
A woman was concerned that her dog may be going deaf. He doesn't come when she calls, so she took him to the vet.
VET: Here's the problem. Your dog's fur has grown thickly around his ears and it's blocking the sound.
WOMAN: What should I do?
VET: Just go to the pharmacy and pick up some Nair and apply it lightly. The fur will be harmlessly removed and your dog's hearing will be restored.
So, the woman goes to the pharmacy, pick out a package of Nair and goes to the register.
PHARMACIST: Wear short pants for a couple of days after using this.
WOMAN: I'm not using it on my legs.
PHARMACIST: Wear a tank top for a couple of days after using this.
WOMAN: I'm not using this on my underarms.
PHARMACIST: Well, where are you using it?
WOMAN: If you MUST know, I'm using it on my Schnauzer.
PHARMACIST: Then don't ride a bike for a week.
USAF (Ret) 1974 - 1994 - The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries. Remembering RickO, a brother in arms.
While driving in Pennsylvania , a family caught up to an Amish
carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor,
because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed
sign... "Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do
not step in exhaust."
The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask
the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting
for repairs to the church building. Therefore, he was annoyed to find
that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought
in at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know what to play.
"Here's a copy of the service," he said impatiently. "But, you'll have
to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the
finances."
During the service, the minister paused and said, "Brothers and
Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as
much as we expected and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge
$100 or more, please stand up."
At that moment, the substitute organist played "The Star Spangled
Banner."
And that is how the substitute became the regular organist!
I recently picked a new primary care doctor.
After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age. (I just turned sixty-five).
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, 'Do you think I'll live to be 80?'
He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer, wine or hard liquor?'
'Oh no,' I replied. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'
Then he asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued Ribs? '
I said, 'Not much... my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!'
'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, boating, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?'
'No, I don't,' I said.
He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lots of sex?'
'No,' I said...
He looked at me and said...
then why do you even give a crap.
Comments
Ah, hell.
I'm lost. This must be "the ridding of into the sunset part". Love Grand Prix cars.
Yep, still lost,
my map has a mind of its own. That should not be here.
Coinsof1984@martinb6830 on twitter
How about this frequently seen ad here on Canadas west coast in super markets:
"Freshly caught organic Alaskan Halibut from local waters received this morning."
We have Canada Geese in New Zealand...
Smitten with DBLCs.
Pete
Here's a warning parable for coin collectors...
Ridding?
Yes, I do declare, side saddle would be apropriete.
How's your momma and them, I hope she approve's.....spellcheck
Make a hole, make a hole!
"We got to move out of this phone booth."
Is the power on?
Alice, you're the greatest.
USAF (Ret) 1974 - 1994 - The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries. Remembering RickO, a brother in arms.
A woman was concerned that her dog may be going deaf. He doesn't come when she calls, so she took him to the vet.
VET: Here's the problem. Your dog's fur has grown thickly around his ears and it's blocking the sound.
WOMAN: What should I do?
VET: Just go to the pharmacy and pick up some Nair and apply it lightly. The fur will be harmlessly removed and your dog's hearing will be restored.
So, the woman goes to the pharmacy, pick out a package of Nair and goes to the register.
PHARMACIST: Wear short pants for a couple of days after using this.
WOMAN: I'm not using it on my legs.
PHARMACIST: Wear a tank top for a couple of days after using this.
WOMAN: I'm not using this on my underarms.
PHARMACIST: Well, where are you using it?
WOMAN: If you MUST know, I'm using it on my Schnauzer.
PHARMACIST: Then don't ride a bike for a week.
USAF (Ret) 1974 - 1994 - The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries. Remembering RickO, a brother in arms.
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Cheers, RickO
The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask
Cheers, RickO
U.S. Type Set
Coinsof1984@martinb6830 on twitter
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Cheers, RickO
Good one!
Coinsof1984@martinb6830 on twitter
...and that's how the @ symbol was invented.
Yo ! No horse flies.
Better yet, lets play....pin the tail on the donkey.
Louis Armstrong
Here's the one I meant to post.
Louis Armstrong
I recently picked a new primary care doctor.
After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age. (I just turned sixty-five).
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, 'Do you think I'll live to be 80?'
He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer, wine or hard liquor?'
'Oh no,' I replied. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'
Then he asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued Ribs? '
I said, 'Not much... my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!'
'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, boating, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?'
'No, I don't,' I said.
He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lots of sex?'
'No,' I said...
He looked at me and said...
then why do you even give a crap.
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
This happened to my dash cam... the stupid thief
BST: KindaNewish (3/21/21), WQuarterFreddie (3/30/21), Meltdown (4/6/21), DBSTrader2 (5/5/21) AKA- unclemonkey on Blow Out
Actors and their stunt doubles
Pete
Lets see the front.
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
I would buy it's against forum rules!
I had a colonoscopy last week. My wife told the doctor: "Once you're up there, get the bug out!"
My wife told the doctor the same thing!! 🤡
I took 2 days off and my boss ask me to leave a number where I can be reached, just in case.
And this came to mind 1-800-dialaprayer.
40 seconds worth, you decide if it's funny.
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown