Wish I could still do that! I tell my wife I'll revert back to doing that one of these days! Acting like I was 6 years old. Then she'll have more of a child to deal with than she has now!
At the office of the French president the phone rings. Mister Hollande answers it and from the other side of the line a voice says: “This is Paddy from Ireland. I am ringing you from The Old Dublin pub to inform you that we officially declare war on you!”
Hollande replies: “Well Paddy, that is indeed important news. How big is your army?”
“Right now,” says Paddy, after a moment’s calculation, “There is meself, me cousin Sean, me next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire darts team from the pub. That makes eight!”
Hollande laughs amused and says: “I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my army waiting to move on my command.”
“Oh my!” says Paddy. “I’ll have to ring you back.”
Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again. “Mr. Hollande, the war is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!”
“And what equipment would that be Paddy?”, Hollande asks.
“Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy’s farm tractor.”
Hollande again seems rather amused. “I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6.000 tanks and 5.000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I have increased my army to 150.000 since we last spoke.”
“Saints preserve us!” says Paddy. “I’ll have to get back to you.”
Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. “Mr. Hollande, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We have modified Jackie McLaughlin’s ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Bar have joined us as well!”
Hollande was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. “I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military bases are surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I have increased my army to 200.000 men!”
“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!” says Paddy, “I will have to ring you back.”
Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. “Top o’ the mornin’, Mr. Hollande! I am sorry to inform you that we have had to call off the war.”
“Really? I am sorry to hear that,” says Hollande. “Why the sudden change of heart?”
“Well,” says Paddy, “we had a long chat over a few pints of Guinness, and we decided there is no flippin' way we can feed 200.000 prisoners.
@bearcave said:
Ya wanta hear a dirty joke...............
A kid played in a mud puddle!
Wish I could still do that! I tell my wife I'll revert back to doing that one of these days! Acting like I was 6 years old. Then she'll have more of a child to deal with than she has now!
I love to play in the mud still!
The only problem is now it takes me a little longer to clean up the mess!!
“We are only their care-takers,” he posed, “if we take good care of them, then centuries from now they may still be here … ”
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on."
The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now."
The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!"
His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
A farmer is sitting in the neighborhood bar getting soused. A man comes in and asks the farmer, "Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day getting drunk?"
Farmer: Some things you just can't explain.
Man: So what happened that's so horrible?
Farmer: Well, today I was sitting by my cow milking her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her left leg and kicked over the bucket.
Man: Ok, but that's not so bad.
Farmer: Some things you just can't explain.
Man: So what happened then?
Farmer: I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left.
Man: and then?
Farmer: Well, I sat back down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her right leg and kicked over the bucket.
Man: Again?
Farmer: Some things you just can't explain.
Man: So, what did you do then?
Farmer: I took her right leg this time and tied it to the post on the right.
Man: and then?
Farmer: Well, I sat back down and began milking her again. Just as got the bucket about full, the stupid cow knocked over the bucket with her tail.
Man: Hmmm...
Farmer: Some things you just can't explain.
Man: So, what did you do?
Farmer: Well, I didn't have any more rope, so I took off my belt and tied her tail to the rafter. In that moment, my pants fell down and my wife walked in....
On the outskirts of a small town, here was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence.
One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me," said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.
Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me." He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along. "Come here quick," said the boy, "you won't believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls."
The man said, "Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk."
When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery. Standing by the fence they heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me..."
The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been tellin'' me the truth. Let's see if we can see the Lord." Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.
At last they heard, "One for you, one for me. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done."
They say the old man made it back to town a full 5 minutes ahead of the kid on the bike
I recently spent $6,500 on a young registered Black Angus bull. I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow. I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth. Anyhow, I had the Vet come and have a look at him. He said the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day.
The bull started to service the cows within two days, all my cows! He even broke through the fence and bred with all of my neighbor's cows! He's like a machine! I don't know what was in the pills the Vet gave him ........... but they kind of taste like peppermint.
Well, Larkincollecter, speaking of pants falling down.............Do you know why the Pilgrims couldn't keep their pants up? ........Because they wore their buckles on their shoes.
A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
The next day the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died."
Kenny replied, "Well then, just give me my money back."
The farmer said, "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."
Kenny said, "OK then, just unload the donkey."
The farmer was happy to have the issue resolved, but couldn't figure out what Kenny could possibly do with a dead donkey. A month later the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, "What ever happened with that donkey you bought?"
Kenny, "I sold 500 raffle tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $898.00."
Farmer, "Didn't anyone complain?"
Kenny, " Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back."
A wife comes home late one night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom.
From under the blanket, she sees four legs instead of just her husband's two.
She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.
Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.
As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine.
He says, "Hi darling, your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say hello?"
The last picture reminds me that the Disney Corporation announced recently that they are still trying to make a fifth "Indiana Jones" film with the nearly 80-year old Harrison Ford.
@WillieBoyd2 said:
The last picture reminds me that the Disney Corporation announced recently that they are still trying to make a fifth "Indiana Jones" film with the nearly 80-year old Harrison Ford.
In this episode, Indiana Jones will be the one getting dug up.
Great transactions with oih82w8, JasonGaming, Moose1913.
I am a twenty-three year old liberated woman who has
been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive
and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost,
but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with
him.
Dear Ms Lonelyhearts,
I've suspected that my husband has been fooling
around, and when confronted with the evidence, he
denied everything and said it would never happen
again.
@WillieBoyd2 said:
The last picture reminds me that the Disney Corporation announced recently that they are still trying to make a fifth "Indiana Jones" film with the nearly 80-year old Harrison Ford.
Joan was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband.
She mentioned the trip to her hairdresser, who responded: "Rome? Why would anyone want to go to Rome? It's crowded, smelly, and dirty. You're crazy to go there.
So, how are you getting there?”
"We're flying United” was the reply. "We got a great rate!”
“United?" exclaimed the hairdresser." United is a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. Where are you staying in Rome?”
"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on the Tiber River called Taste.”
"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it's gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's a total dump.”
"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope.”
"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. ”You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it.”
A month later, Joan was back again at the hairdresser's. The beautician asked her about her trip to Rome.
"It was wonderful," explained Joan, "not only were we on time in one of United’s brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were terrific, and we had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on us hand and foot...
The Taste hotel was great too! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!”
"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope.”
"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet us.
Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down, and he spoke a few words to me...”
A wife asked her husband a tricky question: “Honey, when I die, will you remarry?”
The husband had a good answer: “Well, dear, I’ve loved being married to you. It’s good to share your life with someone special. So yes, I would remarry.”
“Well,” says the wife, “would you keep living in our house?”
“This is a great house. You’ve done wonders with making it comfortable. So yes, I would keep living here.”
“What about my car?” she persisted. “Would you give her my car?”
“Your car is in great shape, well maintained. It would be wrong to just junk it. So yes, I would give her your car.”
“OK, what about my golf clubs? Would you give her my golf clubs?” asked the wife.
A farmer goes to the doctor to get some help with keeping his wife happy. The doctor scribbled a prescription for the magic blue pill and told the farmer, when you see your wife, do something to attract her. The farmer went home and was excited and quickly popped one of his pills and his wife came down the stairs looking gorgeous. As soon as the farmer spotted his wife he ran out of the house and didn’t come back for a few hours. This went on for a few days and finally the farmers wife followed the farmer out of the house and found him standing naked next his John Deer tractor. The wife asked what are you doing and the farmer answered, I told the doctor I wanted more sex and he gave me blue pills and told me when I see you, do something to a tractor.
"May the silver waves that bear you heavenward be filled with love’s whisperings"
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown
Comments
A girl phoned me the other day and said... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home.
Rodney Dangerfield
BST transactions: dbldie55, jayPem, 78saen, UltraHighRelief, nibanny, liefgold, FallGuy, lkeigwin, mbogoman, Sandman70gt, keets, joeykoins, ianrussell (@GC), EagleEye, ThePennyLady, GRANDAM, Ilikecolor, Gluggo, okiedude, Voyageur, LJenkins11, fastfreddie, ms70, pursuitofliberty, ZoidMeister,Coin Finder, GotTheBug, edwardjulio, Coinnmore, Nickpatton, Namvet69,...
Ya wanta hear a dirty joke...............
A kid played in a mud puddle!
Wish I could still do that! I tell my wife I'll revert back to doing that one of these days! Acting like I was 6 years old. Then she'll have more of a child to deal with than she has now!
Yea we got a pool and a pond the pond would be better for you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9tFNbncymjY
Chevy Chase
At the office of the French president the phone rings. Mister Hollande answers it and from the other side of the line a voice says: “This is Paddy from Ireland. I am ringing you from The Old Dublin pub to inform you that we officially declare war on you!”
Hollande replies: “Well Paddy, that is indeed important news. How big is your army?”
“Right now,” says Paddy, after a moment’s calculation, “There is meself, me cousin Sean, me next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire darts team from the pub. That makes eight!”
Hollande laughs amused and says: “I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my army waiting to move on my command.”
“Oh my!” says Paddy. “I’ll have to ring you back.”
Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again. “Mr. Hollande, the war is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!”
“And what equipment would that be Paddy?”, Hollande asks.
“Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy’s farm tractor.”
Hollande again seems rather amused. “I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6.000 tanks and 5.000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I have increased my army to 150.000 since we last spoke.”
“Saints preserve us!” says Paddy. “I’ll have to get back to you.”
Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. “Mr. Hollande, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We have modified Jackie McLaughlin’s ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Bar have joined us as well!”
Hollande was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. “I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military bases are surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I have increased my army to 200.000 men!”
“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!” says Paddy, “I will have to ring you back.”
Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. “Top o’ the mornin’, Mr. Hollande! I am sorry to inform you that we have had to call off the war.”
“Really? I am sorry to hear that,” says Hollande. “Why the sudden change of heart?”
“Well,” says Paddy, “we had a long chat over a few pints of Guinness, and we decided there is no flippin' way we can feed 200.000 prisoners.
Très drôle!
RMR: 'Wer, wenn ich schriee, hörte mich denn aus der Engel Ordnungen?'
CJ: 'No one!' [Ain't no angels in the coin biz]
@LarkinCollector Glad you stopped in ... those were good ones!!
I love to play in the mud still!
The only problem is now it takes me a little longer to clean up the mess!!
“We are only their care-takers,” he posed, “if we take good care of them, then centuries from now they may still be here … ”
Todd - BHNC #242
My two favorite dad jokes.
How come you never see a rhino hiding in a tree? Because they are really good at it.
How do you make holy water? Just take regular water and boil the hell out of it.
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on."
The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now."
The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!"
His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
@pursuitofliberty LOL I bet it does take a little longer! 😂
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
Pete
What did the fish day when he hit the wall?........DAMN!
A farmer is sitting in the neighborhood bar getting soused. A man comes in and asks the farmer, "Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day getting drunk?"
Farmer: Some things you just can't explain.
Man: So what happened that's so horrible?
Farmer: Well, today I was sitting by my cow milking her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her left leg and kicked over the bucket.
Man: Ok, but that's not so bad.
Farmer: Some things you just can't explain.
Man: So what happened then?
Farmer: I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left.
Man: and then?
Farmer: Well, I sat back down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her right leg and kicked over the bucket.
Man: Again?
Farmer: Some things you just can't explain.
Man: So, what did you do then?
Farmer: I took her right leg this time and tied it to the post on the right.
Man: and then?
Farmer: Well, I sat back down and began milking her again. Just as got the bucket about full, the stupid cow knocked over the bucket with her tail.
Man: Hmmm...
Farmer: Some things you just can't explain.
Man: So, what did you do?
Farmer: Well, I didn't have any more rope, so I took off my belt and tied her tail to the rafter. In that moment, my pants fell down and my wife walked in....
On the outskirts of a small town, here was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence.
One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me," said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.
Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me." He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along. "Come here quick," said the boy, "you won't believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls."
The man said, "Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk."
When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery. Standing by the fence they heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me..."
The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been tellin'' me the truth. Let's see if we can see the Lord." Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.
At last they heard, "One for you, one for me. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done."
They say the old man made it back to town a full 5 minutes ahead of the kid on the bike
RIckO, you need to step up your game. You've got serious competition.
RMR: 'Wer, wenn ich schriee, hörte mich denn aus der Engel Ordnungen?'
CJ: 'No one!' [Ain't no angels in the coin biz]
I recently spent $6,500 on a young registered Black Angus bull. I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow. I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth. Anyhow, I had the Vet come and have a look at him. He said the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day.
The bull started to service the cows within two days, all my cows! He even broke through the fence and bred with all of my neighbor's cows! He's like a machine! I don't know what was in the pills the Vet gave him ........... but they kind of taste like peppermint.
Cheers, RickO
SERIOUS!! 😂
Well, Larkincollecter, speaking of pants falling down.............Do you know why the Pilgrims couldn't keep their pants up? ........Because they wore their buckles on their shoes.
A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
The next day the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died."
Kenny replied, "Well then, just give me my money back."
The farmer said, "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."
Kenny said, "OK then, just unload the donkey."
The farmer was happy to have the issue resolved, but couldn't figure out what Kenny could possibly do with a dead donkey. A month later the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, "What ever happened with that donkey you bought?"
Kenny, "I sold 500 raffle tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $898.00."
Farmer, "Didn't anyone complain?"
Kenny, " Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back."
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
A wife comes home late one night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom.
From under the blanket, she sees four legs instead of just her husband's two.
She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.
Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.
As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine.
He says, "Hi darling, your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say hello?"
You know how a stick looks like it is bent when you stick it into water? That is why I don’t take baths.
Steven Wright
BST transactions: dbldie55, jayPem, 78saen, UltraHighRelief, nibanny, liefgold, FallGuy, lkeigwin, mbogoman, Sandman70gt, keets, joeykoins, ianrussell (@GC), EagleEye, ThePennyLady, GRANDAM, Ilikecolor, Gluggo, okiedude, Voyageur, LJenkins11, fastfreddie, ms70, pursuitofliberty, ZoidMeister,Coin Finder, GotTheBug, edwardjulio, Coinnmore, Nickpatton, Namvet69,...
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
Cheers, RickO
Cheers, RickO
In remembrance of September 11, 2001, nothing will be posted today.
Never forget.
Pete
The last picture reminds me that the Disney Corporation announced recently that they are still trying to make a fifth "Indiana Jones" film with the nearly 80-year old Harrison Ford.
The Mysterious Egyptian Magic Coin
Coins in Movies
Coins on Television
In this episode, Indiana Jones will be the one getting dug up.
Great transactions with oih82w8, JasonGaming, Moose1913.
Dear Ms Lonelyhearts,
I am a twenty-three year old liberated woman who has
been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive
and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost,
but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with
him.
Dear Ms Lonelyhearts,
I've suspected that my husband has been fooling
around, and when confronted with the evidence, he
denied everything and said it would never happen
again.
😮
Joan was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband.
She mentioned the trip to her hairdresser, who responded: "Rome? Why would anyone want to go to Rome? It's crowded, smelly, and dirty. You're crazy to go there.
So, how are you getting there?”
"We're flying United” was the reply. "We got a great rate!”
“United?" exclaimed the hairdresser." United is a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. Where are you staying in Rome?”
"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on the Tiber River called Taste.”
"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it's gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's a total dump.”
"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope.”
"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. ”You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it.”
A month later, Joan was back again at the hairdresser's. The beautician asked her about her trip to Rome.
"It was wonderful," explained Joan, "not only were we on time in one of United’s brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were terrific, and we had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on us hand and foot...
The Taste hotel was great too! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!”
"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope.”
"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet us.
Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down, and he spoke a few words to me...”
"Oh, really! What'd he say?”
He said: "Who screwed up your hair?
A wife asked her husband a tricky question: “Honey, when I die, will you remarry?”
The husband had a good answer: “Well, dear, I’ve loved being married to you. It’s good to share your life with someone special. So yes, I would remarry.”
“Well,” says the wife, “would you keep living in our house?”
“This is a great house. You’ve done wonders with making it comfortable. So yes, I would keep living here.”
“What about my car?” she persisted. “Would you give her my car?”
“Your car is in great shape, well maintained. It would be wrong to just junk it. So yes, I would give her your car.”
“OK, what about my golf clubs? Would you give her my golf clubs?” asked the wife.
“Oh heck no! She’s left-handed.”
Q: What kind of steak is only served in 2 oz, 3oz, 5 oz, 7 oz, 11 oz, 13 oz and 17 oz portions?
A: Prime Rib
A farmer goes to the doctor to get some help with keeping his wife happy. The doctor scribbled a prescription for the magic blue pill and told the farmer, when you see your wife, do something to attract her. The farmer went home and was excited and quickly popped one of his pills and his wife came down the stairs looking gorgeous. As soon as the farmer spotted his wife he ran out of the house and didn’t come back for a few hours. This went on for a few days and finally the farmers wife followed the farmer out of the house and found him standing naked next his John Deer tractor. The wife asked what are you doing and the farmer answered, I told the doctor I wanted more sex and he gave me blue pills and told me when I see you, do something to a tractor.
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown
I sent this seller a message for closer shots of the date. lol
https://www.ebay.com/itm/1955-P-PCGS-MS66-Jefferson-Nickel-Business-Strike-5C/313185117192?hash=item48eb49a408:g:T1QAAOSwNmhfOODv
The more qualities observed in a coin, the more desirable that coin becomes!
My Jefferson Nickel Collection