Two weeks ago was my 45th birthday, and I wasn't feeling too hot that morning anyway. I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say "Happy Birthday" and probably have a present for me. She didn't even say "Good Morning" let alone "Happy Birthday." I thought, "Well, that's wives for you, the children will remember." The children came in to breakfast and didn't say a word. When I started to the office I was feeling pretty low and despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary, Janet, said, "Good morning, boss. Happy Birthday." And I felt a little better; someone had remembered.
I worked until noon. Then, Janet knocked on my door and said, "You now, it's such a beautiful day outside and it's your birthday, let's go to lunch, just you and me." I said, "By Golly, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go." We went to lunch. We didn't go where we normally go; we went out to the country to a little private place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously. On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day. We don't need to go back to the office, do we?" I said, "No, I guess not." She said, "Let's go to my apartment."
After arriving at her apartment she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable." "Sure," I excitedly replied. She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes, she came out carrying a big birthday cake, followed by my wife, children, and dozens of our friends, all singing Happy Birthday.
A guy goes into the supermarket and notices a very attractive woman waving to him.
As she approaches, she says "Hello."
He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from, but she looks somehow familiar.
"Do you know me?" he asks.
"I think so", she says with a smile. "I think you're the father of one of my kids."
Now his mind travels back in time to the only time he was unfaithful to his wife.
Somewhat flustered he asks, " Are you the stripper from the bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table, with everyone watching, while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery?"
She looks into his eyes and replies calmly,
"No, I think I am your son's teacher."
“We are only their care-takers,” he posed, “if we take good care of them, then centuries from now they may still be here … ”
Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sunk to the bottom & stayed
there. Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.
When the medical director became aware of Mary's heroic act he immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as he now considered her to be mentally stable.
When he went to tell Mary the news he said, "Mary, I have good news & bad news. The good news is you're being discharged because since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you've regained your senses. The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he's dead."
Mary replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry."
A blind man visits Texas. When he gets to his hotel room, he feels the bed. “Wow, this bed is big!”
“Everything is big in Texas,” says the bellhop.
The man heads downstairs to the bar, settles into a huge barstool and orders a beer. A mug is placed between his hands. “Wow these drinks are big!”
The bartender replies, “Everything is big in Texas.”
After downing a few, the blind man asks where the bathroom is. “Second door to the right,” says the bartender.
The blind man heads for the bathroom but accidentally enters the third door, which leads to the swimming pool, and he falls in. Popping his head up from under the water and flailing his arms, he shouts, “Don’t flush, don’t flush!”
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approaches the pastor with an unusual offer. "Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I'm supposed to promise to 'love, honor, and obey' and 'be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that out." He passes the minister a $100 bill and walks away satisfied. On the day of the wedding, when it comes time for the groom's vows, the pastor looks the young man in the eye and says, "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?" The groom gulps, looks around, and says in a tiny voice, "Yes," then leans toward the pastor and hisses, "I thought we had a deal." The pastor puts a $100 bill into the groom's hand and whispers, "She made me a better offer."
A man drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed. After years of this, the wife wants him to quit. She gets two shot glasses, fills one with water and the other with whiskey. After bringing him to the table that has the glasses, she brings his bait box. She says, "I want you to see this." She puts a worm in the water, and it swims around. She puts a worm in the whiskey, and the worm dies immediately. She then says, feeling that she has made her point clear, "What do you have to say about this experiment?" He responds by saying, "If I drink whiskey, I won't get worms!"
Anybody else here originally or currently a Hoosier?
A man in Topeka, Kansas, decided to write a book about churches around the country. He started by flying to San Francisco, and started working east from there. Going to a very large church, he began
taking photographs and making notes. He spotted a golden telephone on the vestibule wall and was
intrigued with a sign which read "$10,000 a minute." Seeking out the pastor he asked about the phone and the sign. The pastor answered that this golden phone is, in fact, a direct line to Heaven and if he pays the price he can talk directly to God. The man thanked the pastor and continued on his way. As he continued to visit churches in Seattle, Austin, Michigan, Dallas Milwaukee, and all around the United States, he found more phones, with the same sign, and the same answer from each pastor.
Finally, he arrived in Indiana. Upon entering a church in Evansville, Indiana behold, he saw the usual golden telephone. But THIS time, the sign read "Calls: 35 cents." Fascinated, he asked to talk to the pastor.
"Reverend, I have been in cities all across the country and in each church I have found this golden telephone and have been told it is a direct line to Heaven and that I could talk to God, but, in the other churches the cost was $10,000 a minute. Your sign reads 35 cents a call. Why?"
The pastor, smiling benignly, replied, "Son, you're in Indiana now.....it's a local call."
Two guys trying to get in a quick eighteen holes, but there are two terrible lady golfers in front of them hitting the ball everywhere but where it's supposed to go.
The first guy says, "Why don't you go over and ask if we can play through?"
The second guy gets about halfway there and comes back. The first guy says, "What's wrong?"
He says, "One of them is my wife, and the other one is my mistress."
The first guy says, "That could be a problem. I'll go over." He gets about halfway there and comes back.
I have been to a lot of places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone. I've also never been in Cognito either. I hear no one recognizes you there. I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport. You have to be driven there by someone. I have made several trips thanks to my friends and family. I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump and I'm not much on physical activity.
I couldn’t concentrate in the orange juice factory; wasn’t suited to be a tailor; the muffler factory was just exhausting; couldn’t cut it as barber; didn’t have the patience to be a doctor; didn’t fit in the shoe factory; pool maintenance was too draining and I just couldn’t see any future as a historian.
Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the side of a deserted road. Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt. The driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit, Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses, TAG-Heuer wrist watch, and a Pierre Cardin tie gets out and asks the shepherd, "If I can tell you how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?"
The shepherd looks at the young man, then looks at the large flock of grazing sheep and replies, "Okay."
The young man parks the car, connects his laptop to the mobile-fax, enters a NASA Website, scans the ground using his GPS, opens a database and 60 Excel tables filled with algorithms and pivot
tables. He then prints out a 150-page report on his high-tech mini-printer, turns to the shepherd and says, ‘'You have exactly 1,586 sheep."
The shepherd cheers, "That's correct, you can have your choicest sheep from the herd."
The young man takes one of the animals which he likes most and cute from the flock and puts it in the back of his Porsche. The shepherd looks at him and asks, "If I guess your profession, will you return my animal to me?"
The young man laughed and answers, "Yes, why not?"
The shepherd says, "You are an auditor."
"How did you know?" asks the young man.
"Very simple," answers the shepherd.
" First, you came here without being wanted. Secondly, you charged me a fee to tell me something I already knew. Thirdly, you don't understand anything about my business... now can I have my DOG back?"
A proud and confident genius makes a bet with an idiot. The genius says, "Hey idiot, every question I ask you that you don't know the answer, you have to give me $5. And if you ask me a question and I can't answer yours, I will give you $5,000."
The idiot replies, "Okay." The genius then asks, "How many continents are there in the world?" The idiot doesn't know and hands over the $5. The idiot says, "Now my turn, what animal stands with two legs but sleeps with three?"
The genius tries and searches very hard for the answer but gives up and hands over the $5000. The genius says, "Dang it, I lost. By the way, what was the answer to your question?"
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
Told before? I can't go back 48 pages.
I so... then...
My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.
A guy and his wife are playing golf for the first time on the gold course of an exclusive subdivision. He hooks his first tee shot, and it goes off, smashing through the bay window of a ritzy mansion right off the fairway.
Feeling very embarrassed and sheepish, they go over to the house, ring the doorbell, and go in where they hear a voice telling them the door's open. There in the living room was a guy lying on the couch. There's glass all over the floor and...a broken bottle.
"You the people who broke the window?"
"Yessir. We're terribly sorry and embarrassed, and would like to pay you for the damage."
The man says, "Oh, no! I'm delighted! You see, I'm a genie, and was trapped in that bottle for centuries! In fact, I'd like to offer three gifts, one for each of you, and one for me."
Intrigued, the couple immediately agree. "I'd like a million dollars each year for the rest of my life," said the man. His wife then said, "And I'd like a comfortable house in a prime tourist spot in every country of the world."
The genie said that was all great, done and done. But for his wish, the genie said that since he'd been trapped in that bottle for so long, he'd love to have relations with the man's wife.
That was quite unexpected and the couple were taken aback. They decided that since the genie had been so generous, though, it was probably the least they could do.
The genie then took the wife upstairs and fulfilled his wish with her repeatedly for a couple of hours.
Afterwards he rolled over smoking a cigarette, and asked the wife how old her husband was:
"He's thirty-eight. Why do you ask?"
Genie: "You mean to tell me he's thirty-eight, and still believes in genies?!"
A soldier in Korea went to a really seedy red light district and 2 weeks later his thing looked really bad. He went to the base doctor and was told it had to be cut off. Not liking the diagnosis he went to a Korean doctor who looked at it and said hmmm. The soldier said that the American doctor had said he would have to cut it off. Cut, cut cut the Korean doctor said. All American doctors want to do is cut. You no need to cut thing off. Great the soldier said. No the Korean doctor said, you just wait 2 weeks, thing fall off all by self.
A soldier went out for the night in a really seedy red light district. He ended up getting very drunk and passing out. He awoke the next morning and noticed his thing had a red ring, a green ring, and a black ring on it. He was very worried so went straight to the doctor. The doctor took samples and returned two hours later and said "i have some good news and some bad news". The good news is the red ring is lipstick, and the green ring is from a green lifesaver. The soldier asks and the bad news? The bad news is the black ring is Skoal.
"May the silver waves that bear you heavenward be filled with love’s whisperings"
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown
Found this coin while looking through some old coins. Had not seen one of these in forty years. Did the research and have confirmed that this is the coin Joseph and Mary used to buy a birthday present for Jesus for his eighteenth birthday. They bought him a front row seat to Cher’s 0018 comeback tour. The ticket stub was actually worth more than the coin to collectors, but sadly the stub was lost in a flood a few years later.
Found this coin while looking through some old coins. Had not seen one of these in forty years. Did the research and...
I haven't seen one in nearly 40 years either. It's a video game token from a defunct chain of arcades called Aladdin's Castle. The head on one side looks like an ape, but rotate 180° and it's a genie.
Found this coin while looking through some old coins. Had not seen one of these in forty years. Did the research and...
I haven't seen one in nearly 40 years either. It's a video game token from a defunct chain of arcades called Aladdin's Castle. The head on one side looks like an ape, but rotate 180° and it's a genie.
A man goes to see the Rabbi. "Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it."
The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong?"
The man replied, "My wife is going to poison me."
The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?"
The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's going to poison me. What should I do?"
The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."
A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "I spoke to your wife on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?
The man said, "Yes" and the Rabbi replied, "Take the poison."
@1Mike1 said:
A soldier went out for the night in a really seedy red light district. He ended up getting very drunk and passing out. He awoke the next morning and noticed his thing had a red ring, a green ring, and a black ring on it. He was very worried so went straight to the doctor. The doctor took samples and returned two hours later and said "i have some good news and some bad news". The good news is the red ring is lipstick, and the green ring is from a green lifesaver. The soldier asks and the bad news? The bad news is the black ring is Skoal.
Comments
.
Two weeks ago was my 45th birthday, and I wasn't feeling too hot that morning anyway. I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say "Happy Birthday" and probably have a present for me. She didn't even say "Good Morning" let alone "Happy Birthday." I thought, "Well, that's wives for you, the children will remember." The children came in to breakfast and didn't say a word. When I started to the office I was feeling pretty low and despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary, Janet, said, "Good morning, boss. Happy Birthday." And I felt a little better; someone had remembered.
I worked until noon. Then, Janet knocked on my door and said, "You now, it's such a beautiful day outside and it's your birthday, let's go to lunch, just you and me." I said, "By Golly, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go." We went to lunch. We didn't go where we normally go; we went out to the country to a little private place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously. On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day. We don't need to go back to the office, do we?" I said, "No, I guess not." She said, "Let's go to my apartment."
After arriving at her apartment she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable." "Sure," I excitedly replied. She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes, she came out carrying a big birthday cake, followed by my wife, children, and dozens of our friends, all singing Happy Birthday.
And there I sat on the couch ... naked.
A guy goes into the supermarket and notices a very attractive woman waving to him.
As she approaches, she says "Hello."
He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from, but she looks somehow familiar.
"Do you know me?" he asks.
"I think so", she says with a smile. "I think you're the father of one of my kids."
Now his mind travels back in time to the only time he was unfaithful to his wife.
Somewhat flustered he asks, " Are you the stripper from the bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table, with everyone watching, while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery?"
She looks into his eyes and replies calmly,
"No, I think I am your son's teacher."
“We are only their care-takers,” he posed, “if we take good care of them, then centuries from now they may still be here … ”
Todd - BHNC #242
Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sunk to the bottom & stayed
there. Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.
When the medical director became aware of Mary's heroic act he immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as he now considered her to be mentally stable.
When he went to tell Mary the news he said, "Mary, I have good news & bad news. The good news is you're being discharged because since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you've regained your senses. The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he's dead."
Mary replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry."
A blind man visits Texas. When he gets to his hotel room, he feels the bed. “Wow, this bed is big!”
“Everything is big in Texas,” says the bellhop.
The man heads downstairs to the bar, settles into a huge barstool and orders a beer. A mug is placed between his hands. “Wow these drinks are big!”
The bartender replies, “Everything is big in Texas.”
After downing a few, the blind man asks where the bathroom is. “Second door to the right,” says the bartender.
The blind man heads for the bathroom but accidentally enters the third door, which leads to the swimming pool, and he falls in. Popping his head up from under the water and flailing his arms, he shouts, “Don’t flush, don’t flush!”
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approaches the pastor with an unusual offer. "Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I'm supposed to promise to 'love, honor, and obey' and 'be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that out." He passes the minister a $100 bill and walks away satisfied. On the day of the wedding, when it comes time for the groom's vows, the pastor looks the young man in the eye and says, "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?" The groom gulps, looks around, and says in a tiny voice, "Yes," then leans toward the pastor and hisses, "I thought we had a deal." The pastor puts a $100 bill into the groom's hand and whispers, "She made me a better offer."
Cheers, RickO
A man drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed. After years of this, the wife wants him to quit. She gets two shot glasses, fills one with water and the other with whiskey. After bringing him to the table that has the glasses, she brings his bait box. She says, "I want you to see this." She puts a worm in the water, and it swims around. She puts a worm in the whiskey, and the worm dies immediately. She then says, feeling that she has made her point clear, "What do you have to say about this experiment?" He responds by saying, "If I drink whiskey, I won't get worms!"
Cheers, RickO
Anybody else here originally or currently a Hoosier?
A man in Topeka, Kansas, decided to write a book about churches around the country. He started by flying to San Francisco, and started working east from there. Going to a very large church, he began
taking photographs and making notes. He spotted a golden telephone on the vestibule wall and was
intrigued with a sign which read "$10,000 a minute." Seeking out the pastor he asked about the phone and the sign. The pastor answered that this golden phone is, in fact, a direct line to Heaven and if he pays the price he can talk directly to God. The man thanked the pastor and continued on his way. As he continued to visit churches in Seattle, Austin, Michigan, Dallas Milwaukee, and all around the United States, he found more phones, with the same sign, and the same answer from each pastor.
Finally, he arrived in Indiana. Upon entering a church in Evansville, Indiana behold, he saw the usual golden telephone. But THIS time, the sign read "Calls: 35 cents." Fascinated, he asked to talk to the pastor.
"Reverend, I have been in cities all across the country and in each church I have found this golden telephone and have been told it is a direct line to Heaven and that I could talk to God, but, in the other churches the cost was $10,000 a minute. Your sign reads 35 cents a call. Why?"
The pastor, smiling benignly, replied, "Son, you're in Indiana now.....it's a local call."
Sums up my view of 2020
Dave
How where you able to get Joe to talk?
Two guys trying to get in a quick eighteen holes, but there are two terrible lady golfers in front of them hitting the ball everywhere but where it's supposed to go.
The first guy says, "Why don't you go over and ask if we can play through?"
The second guy gets about halfway there and comes back. The first guy says, "What's wrong?"
He says, "One of them is my wife, and the other one is my mistress."
The first guy says, "That could be a problem. I'll go over." He gets about halfway there and comes back.
The second guy says, "What's wrong?"
The first guy says, "Small world."
U.S. Type Set
Are you related to my wife?
I have been to a lot of places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone. I've also never been in Cognito either. I hear no one recognizes you there. I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport. You have to be driven there by someone. I have made several trips thanks to my friends and family. I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump and I'm not much on physical activity.
Do you see it?
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown
Honey, why did you hang a red light in front of the house?
Dear, in old country we hang red light for Christmas.
The Mysterious Egyptian Magic Coin
Coins in Movies
Coins on Television
I forgot what I was going to say, old age I guess!!
Pete
U.S. Type Set
I’m not having much luck with jobs lately.....
I couldn’t concentrate in the orange juice factory; wasn’t suited to be a tailor; the muffler factory was just exhausting; couldn’t cut it as barber; didn’t have the patience to be a doctor; didn’t fit in the shoe factory; pool maintenance was too draining and I just couldn’t see any future as a historian.
Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the side of a deserted road. Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt. The driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit, Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses, TAG-Heuer wrist watch, and a Pierre Cardin tie gets out and asks the shepherd, "If I can tell you how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?"
The shepherd looks at the young man, then looks at the large flock of grazing sheep and replies, "Okay."
The young man parks the car, connects his laptop to the mobile-fax, enters a NASA Website, scans the ground using his GPS, opens a database and 60 Excel tables filled with algorithms and pivot
tables. He then prints out a 150-page report on his high-tech mini-printer, turns to the shepherd and says, ‘'You have exactly 1,586 sheep."
The shepherd cheers, "That's correct, you can have your choicest sheep from the herd."
The young man takes one of the animals which he likes most and cute from the flock and puts it in the back of his Porsche. The shepherd looks at him and asks, "If I guess your profession, will you return my animal to me?"
The young man laughed and answers, "Yes, why not?"
The shepherd says, "You are an auditor."
"How did you know?" asks the young man.
"Very simple," answers the shepherd.
" First, you came here without being wanted. Secondly, you charged me a fee to tell me something I already knew. Thirdly, you don't understand anything about my business... now can I have my DOG back?"
Cheers, RickO
A proud and confident genius makes a bet with an idiot. The genius says, "Hey idiot, every question I ask you that you don't know the answer, you have to give me $5. And if you ask me a question and I can't answer yours, I will give you $5,000."
The idiot replies, "Okay." The genius then asks, "How many continents are there in the world?" The idiot doesn't know and hands over the $5. The idiot says, "Now my turn, what animal stands with two legs but sleeps with three?"
The genius tries and searches very hard for the answer but gives up and hands over the $5000. The genius says, "Dang it, I lost. By the way, what was the answer to your question?"
The idiot hands over $5.
Cheers, RickO
.
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
Told before? I can't go back 48 pages.
I so... then...
My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.
@jkrk
"Told before?" Yep, it's about the 3rd or 4th time for that one.
"I can't go back 48 pages." Why not....fraid yur gonna break yur funny bone?
Don't feel bad the last one that @ricko posted is on about the 5th or 6th round.
This one's a classic:
A guy and his wife are playing golf for the first time on the gold course of an exclusive subdivision. He hooks his first tee shot, and it goes off, smashing through the bay window of a ritzy mansion right off the fairway.
Feeling very embarrassed and sheepish, they go over to the house, ring the doorbell, and go in where they hear a voice telling them the door's open. There in the living room was a guy lying on the couch. There's glass all over the floor and...a broken bottle.
"You the people who broke the window?"
"Yessir. We're terribly sorry and embarrassed, and would like to pay you for the damage."
The man says, "Oh, no! I'm delighted! You see, I'm a genie, and was trapped in that bottle for centuries! In fact, I'd like to offer three gifts, one for each of you, and one for me."
Intrigued, the couple immediately agree. "I'd like a million dollars each year for the rest of my life," said the man. His wife then said, "And I'd like a comfortable house in a prime tourist spot in every country of the world."
The genie said that was all great, done and done. But for his wish, the genie said that since he'd been trapped in that bottle for so long, he'd love to have relations with the man's wife.
That was quite unexpected and the couple were taken aback. They decided that since the genie had been so generous, though, it was probably the least they could do.
The genie then took the wife upstairs and fulfilled his wish with her repeatedly for a couple of hours.
Afterwards he rolled over smoking a cigarette, and asked the wife how old her husband was:
"He's thirty-eight. Why do you ask?"
Genie: "You mean to tell me he's thirty-eight, and still believes in genies?!"
Here's a warning parable for coin collectors...
A soldier in Korea went to a really seedy red light district and 2 weeks later his thing looked really bad. He went to the base doctor and was told it had to be cut off. Not liking the diagnosis he went to a Korean doctor who looked at it and said hmmm. The soldier said that the American doctor had said he would have to cut it off. Cut, cut cut the Korean doctor said. All American doctors want to do is cut. You no need to cut thing off. Great the soldier said. No the Korean doctor said, you just wait 2 weeks, thing fall off all by self.
A soldier went out for the night in a really seedy red light district. He ended up getting very drunk and passing out. He awoke the next morning and noticed his thing had a red ring, a green ring, and a black ring on it. He was very worried so went straight to the doctor. The doctor took samples and returned two hours later and said "i have some good news and some bad news". The good news is the red ring is lipstick, and the green ring is from a green lifesaver. The soldier asks and the bad news? The bad news is the black ring is Skoal.
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown
"Gone with the wind"? "Bad Boys"? "Dangerous Minds"?
BST transactions: dbldie55, jayPem, 78saen, UltraHighRelief, nibanny, liefgold, FallGuy, lkeigwin, mbogoman, Sandman70gt, keets, joeykoins, ianrussell (@GC), EagleEye, ThePennyLady, GRANDAM, Ilikecolor, Gluggo, okiedude, Voyageur, LJenkins11, fastfreddie, ms70, pursuitofliberty, ZoidMeister,Coin Finder, GotTheBug, edwardjulio, Coinnmore, Nickpatton, Namvet69,...
Found this coin while looking through some old coins. Had not seen one of these in forty years. Did the research and have confirmed that this is the coin Joseph and Mary used to buy a birthday present for Jesus for his eighteenth birthday. They bought him a front row seat to Cher’s 0018 comeback tour. The ticket stub was actually worth more than the coin to collectors, but sadly the stub was lost in a flood a few years later.
U.S. Type Set
I haven't seen one in nearly 40 years either. It's a video game token from a defunct chain of arcades called Aladdin's Castle. The head on one side looks like an ape, but rotate 180° and it's a genie.
Liberty: Parent of Science & Industry
Busted😁😁😁
Me today
A man goes to see the Rabbi. "Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it."
The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong?"
The man replied, "My wife is going to poison me."
The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?"
The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's going to poison me. What should I do?"
The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."
A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "I spoke to your wife on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?
The man said, "Yes" and the Rabbi replied, "Take the poison."
Cheers, RickO
Now that is sick!
Happy, humble, honored and proud recipient of the “You Suck” award 10/22/2014