Sally was driving home from one of her business
trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly
Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.
As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped
the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride.
With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.
Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make
a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old
woman just sat silently, looking intently at
everything she saw, studying every little detail,
until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to
Sally.
"What is in bag?" asked the old woman.
Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, "It's
A bottle of wine. I got it for my husband."
The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or
two.
Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder,
she said:
Two 70 something-year-old men had been friends all of their lives.
When it was clear that Frank was dying, Leonard visited him every day.
One day Leonard said, "Frank, we both loved playing golf all our
lives, and we started playing soon after high school. Please do me one
favor: when you get to heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's
golf there."
Frank looked up at Leonard from his deathbed and said, "Leonard,
you've been my best friend for many years. If it's at all possible,
I'll do this favor for you."
Shortly after that, Frank died.
A few weeks later, Leonard was awakened from a sound sleep by a
blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to him,
"Leonard!"
"Who is it?" asked Leonard, sitting up suddenly. "Who is it?"
"Leonard -- it's me, Frank."
"You're not Frank. Frank just died."
"I'm telling you, it's me, Frank," insisted the voice.
"Frank! Where are you?"
"In heaven," replied Frank. "I have some really good news and a little
bad news."
"Tell me the good news first," said Leonard
"The good news," Frank said with joy and enthusiasm, "is that there is
golf in heaven. Better yet, all of our old buddies who died before me
are here too. Even better than that, we're all young again. Better
still, it's always Summertime and it never rains. And best of all, we
can play golf all we want, and we never get tired. And we get to play
with all the Greats of the past."
"That's fantastic," said Leonard. "It's beyond my wildest dreams! So
what's the bad news?"
"You're in my foursome this Saturday.
One of the two mortgage underwriters brought back into the office lifted her head. "They've been working us like dogs for three months. I know how to get some time off work," the woman whispered.
"How?" asked the second underwriter.
Instead of answering, the woman quickly looked around. No sign of her manager. She jumped up on her desk, kicked out a couple of ceiling tiles and hoisted herself up. "Look!" she whispered, then swinging her legs over a metal pipe, hung upside down.
Within seconds, the manager emerged from the lunchroom at the far end of the floor. He saw the worker hanging from the ceiling, and asked her what on earth she thought she was doing.
"I'm a light bulb," answered the underwriter.
"I think you need some time off," barked the manager. "Get out of here - that's an order - and I don't want to see you back here for at least another two days! You understand me?"
"Yes, sir", the underwriter answered meekly, then jumped down, logged off her computer and left.
The second underwriter was hot on her heels.
"Where do you think you're going?" the boss asked.
"Home," he said lightly. "I can't work in the dark."
I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.
I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" I asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said, "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on hunting equipment?" I asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't gone hunting in 20 years!"
"Well," I said, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?
I replied, "Don't worry about that. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting."
A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."
Passenger: "Who?"
Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."
Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."
Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."
Passenger: "Sounds like he was really something special."
Cabbie: "There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman could do everything right.” Passenger: "Wow, what a guy!"
Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."
Passenger: "How did you meet him?"
Cabbie: "I never actually met Frank. He died and I married his wife."
A young and foolish pilot wanted to sound cool on the aviation frequencies. This was his first time approaching a field during the nighttime.
Instead of making any official requests to the tower he said, "Guess who?"
The controller switched the field lights off and replied, "Guess where?"
The psychiatrist was interviewing a first-time patient.
"You say you're here," he inquired, "because your family is worried about your taste in socks?"
"That's correct," muttered the patient. "I like wool socks."
"But that's perfectly normal," replied the doctor. "Many people prefer wool socks to those made from cotton or acrylic. In fact, I myself like wool socks."
"You do?" exclaimed the man. "With oil and vinegar or just a squeeze of lemon?"
An engineer, a statistician, and a physicist are out hunting. They spot a buck, and each take turn to try and bag it.
The physicist goes first. He pulls out his lab book and quickly calculates the trajectory of the bullet, assuming it is a perfect sphere in a vacuum. The bullet falls 5 ft below the deer.
The engineer goes second. He pulls out his engineering pad and book of projectile assumptions. After a few minutes he’s ready. He takes aim and he fires. The bullet lands 5 ft above the deer.
The statistician triumphantly leaps in the air shouting, “We got it!”
Two buddies are hunting and one has a huge new scope. He says wow I can see everything with this scope, it’s incredible. I can see your house and even in the window. Oh my, your wife is in there having sex with another guy. His friend says I want you to shoot her in the head and him in the private parts. His buddy says, I can do that with one shot.
It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.
When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift certificate envelope.
At the second house they presented him with a box of fine imported cigars.
The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures. At each of the houses along his route, he was met with congratulations, farewells, cards, and gifts of all types and values.
At the final house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful young lady in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door (which she closed behind him), and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where they had a most passionate liaison. Afterwards, they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge.
"All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, ".....but what's the dollar for?"
"Well," she said, "Last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you?"
He said, "...Scr*w him .........give him a dollar."
The lady then blushed and said, "....But the breakfast was my idea."
A uniform beam walks into a bar. The barman asks, "What would you like, good sir?"
The beam replies "Ummm… just give me a moment."
Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar, and then it doesn't
(alright, more for the physicists, but even engineers can appreciate it)
Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."
Did you hear about the Ceramic Engineering Professor who came to class drunk and fell into the kiln?
He got fired.
A retired husband feared his wife wasn’t hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.
Not quite sure how to approach her, his Doctor to discuss the problem.
The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test he could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.
“Here’s what you do,” said the Doctor....
“Stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.”
That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and the husband was in the den.
He says to himself....
“I’m about 40 feet away, let’s see what happens.”
Then in a normal tone he asks....
“Honey, what’s for dinner?”
No response. So hemoves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats....
“Honey, what’s for dinner?”
Still no response.
Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks...
“Honey, what’s for dinner?”
Again he gets no response,
So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away.....
“Honey, what’s for dinner?”
Again there is no response.
So he walks right up behind her and asked...
“Honey, what’s for dinner?
The wife turns around and says...
Babe....for the FIFTH time, I’ve said, CHICKEN!
"This may shock you but I wanted to let you know that I volunteered for the vaccine trials for Covid-19. This vaccine is the one that was created in Russia.
I received my first shot yesterday at 4:00 pm, and I believe it's completely safe, with иo side effects whatsoeveя, and that I feelshκι χoρoshό я чувствую себя немного странно и я думаю, что вытащил осли."
@marcmoish said:
Gosh, earlier this week from a buddy of mine
"This may shock you but I wanted to let you know that I volunteered for the vaccine trials for Covid-19. This vaccine is the one that was created in Russia.
I received my first shot yesterday at 4:00 pm, and I believe it's completely safe, with иo side effects whatsoeveя, and that I feelshκι χoρoshό я чувствую себя немного странно и я думаю, что вытащил осли."
I got one of those and started beating my shoe on the table screaming we will bury you.
@marcmoish said:
Gosh, earlier this week from a buddy of mine
"This may shock you but I wanted to let you know that I volunteered for the vaccine trials for Covid-19. This vaccine is the one that was created in Russia.
I received my first shot yesterday at 4:00 pm, and I believe it's completely safe, with иo side effects whatsoeveя, and that I feelshκι χoρoshό я чувствую себя немного странно и я думаю, что вытащил осли."
I got one of those and started beating my shoe on the table screaming we will bury you.
Did you also get a big birthmark on your forehead?
@marcmoish said:
Gosh, earlier this week from a buddy of mine
"This may shock you but I wanted to let you know that I volunteered for the vaccine trials for Covid-19. This vaccine is the one that was created in Russia.
I received my first shot yesterday at 4:00 pm, and I believe it's completely safe, with иo side effects whatsoeveя, and that I feelshκι χoρoshό я чувствую себя немного странно и я думаю, что вытащил осли."
I got one of those and started beating my shoe on the table screaming we will bury you.
Did you also get a big birthmark on your forehead?
An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."
Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."
_ Engineers like that really think the the next joke is hilarious_
One day, Einstein, Newton, and Pascal meet up and decide to play a game of hide and seek. Einstein volunteered to go first. As he counted, Pascal ran away scrambling to find a great hiding place. Giddily, he squeezed into a crawl space sure that he would win this time as this was his best hiding spot to date and Newton surely wouldn't find an equal. Newton on the other hand, stood right in front of Einstein, pulled out a piece of chalk and drew a box on the ground of roughly 1x1 meters. Once this was completed, he sat down neatly inside the box and waited for Einstein to finish counting. When Einstein opened his eyes, he of course saw Newton and with a bit of disappointment said “I found you Newton, you lose”... but Newton replied, “On the contrary, you are looking at one Newton over a square meter... Pascal loses!”
Comments
My Bad...........................
You guys are sure working hard to get this thread closed. Please don't.
Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe.
Cheers, RickO
Dave
Cheers, RickO
Sally was driving home from one of her business
trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly
Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.
As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped
the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride.
With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.
Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make
a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old
woman just sat silently, looking intently at
everything she saw, studying every little detail,
until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to
Sally.
"What is in bag?" asked the old woman.
Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, "It's
A bottle of wine. I got it for my husband."
The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or
two.
Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder,
she said:
"Good trade!
Cheers, RickO
Dave
One for the football 🏈 season. Classic gold imo
Andy Griffith, In Memoriam: "What It Was Was Football"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=FibbKyBTJX4&feature=emb_logo
Cheers, RickO
A man came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed'
'Just where the heck do you think you're going!', said the man
'I'm going to Las Vegas', said the wife, 'I just found out I can get $400 a night for what I give you for free!
'The man said, 'Wait a minute!', and then ran inside the house only to come back a few minutes later with his suitcases in hand
'Where the heck are you going?', said the wife.
The man said, 'I want to see how you're gonna live on $800 a year!'
Here's a warning parable for coin collectors...
The best two bits I ever spent . . . . . . .
Z
Busy chasing Carr's . . . . . woof!
Successful BST transactions with: Bullsitter, Downtown1974, P0CKETCHANGE, Twobitcollector, AKbeez, DCW, Illini420, ProofCollection, DCarr, Cazkaboom, RichieURich, LukeMarshall, carew4me, BustDMs, coinsarefun, PreTurb, felinfoal, jwitten, GoldenEgg, pruebas, lazybones, COCollector, CuKevin, MWallace, USMC_6115, NamVet69, zippcity, . . . . who'd I forget?
Two 70 something-year-old men had been friends all of their lives.
When it was clear that Frank was dying, Leonard visited him every day.
One day Leonard said, "Frank, we both loved playing golf all our
lives, and we started playing soon after high school. Please do me one
favor: when you get to heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's
golf there."
Frank looked up at Leonard from his deathbed and said, "Leonard,
you've been my best friend for many years. If it's at all possible,
I'll do this favor for you."
Shortly after that, Frank died.
A few weeks later, Leonard was awakened from a sound sleep by a
blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to him,
"Leonard!"
"Who is it?" asked Leonard, sitting up suddenly. "Who is it?"
"Leonard -- it's me, Frank."
"You're not Frank. Frank just died."
"I'm telling you, it's me, Frank," insisted the voice.
"Frank! Where are you?"
"In heaven," replied Frank. "I have some really good news and a little
bad news."
"Tell me the good news first," said Leonard
"The good news," Frank said with joy and enthusiasm, "is that there is
golf in heaven. Better yet, all of our old buddies who died before me
are here too. Even better than that, we're all young again. Better
still, it's always Summertime and it never rains. And best of all, we
can play golf all we want, and we never get tired. And we get to play
with all the Greats of the past."
"That's fantastic," said Leonard. "It's beyond my wildest dreams! So
what's the bad news?"
"You're in my foursome this Saturday.
Cheers, RickO
One of the two mortgage underwriters brought back into the office lifted her head. "They've been working us like dogs for three months. I know how to get some time off work," the woman whispered.
"How?" asked the second underwriter.
Instead of answering, the woman quickly looked around. No sign of her manager. She jumped up on her desk, kicked out a couple of ceiling tiles and hoisted herself up. "Look!" she whispered, then swinging her legs over a metal pipe, hung upside down.
Within seconds, the manager emerged from the lunchroom at the far end of the floor. He saw the worker hanging from the ceiling, and asked her what on earth she thought she was doing.
"I'm a light bulb," answered the underwriter.
"I think you need some time off," barked the manager. "Get out of here - that's an order - and I don't want to see you back here for at least another two days! You understand me?"
"Yes, sir", the underwriter answered meekly, then jumped down, logged off her computer and left.
The second underwriter was hot on her heels.
"Where do you think you're going?" the boss asked.
"Home," he said lightly. "I can't work in the dark."
nice monalog
https://www.facebook.com/raystevensmusic1707/videos/2567087533370769
You know why Gorilla's have big nostrils?
They have fat fingers!
I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.
I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" I asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said, "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on hunting equipment?" I asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't gone hunting in 20 years!"
"Well," I said, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?
I replied, "Don't worry about that. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting."
Here's a warning parable for coin collectors...
A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."
Passenger: "Who?"
Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."
Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."
Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."
Passenger: "Sounds like he was really something special."
Cabbie: "There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman could do everything right.” Passenger: "Wow, what a guy!"
Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."
Passenger: "How did you meet him?"
Cabbie: "I never actually met Frank. He died and I married his wife."
Here's a warning parable for coin collectors...
A young and foolish pilot wanted to sound cool on the aviation frequencies. This was his first time approaching a field during the nighttime.
Instead of making any official requests to the tower he said, "Guess who?"
The controller switched the field lights off and replied, "Guess where?"
Cheers, RickO
The psychiatrist was interviewing a first-time patient.
"You say you're here," he inquired, "because your family is worried about your taste in socks?"
"That's correct," muttered the patient. "I like wool socks."
"But that's perfectly normal," replied the doctor. "Many people prefer wool socks to those made from cotton or acrylic. In fact, I myself like wool socks."
"You do?" exclaimed the man. "With oil and vinegar or just a squeeze of lemon?"
Cheers, RickO
ON AVERAGE A PANDA BEAR FEEDS FOR APPROXIMATELY 12 HOURS PER DAY ........
THIS IS THE SAME AS AN ADULT AT HOME UNDER QUARANTINE.
THATS WHY WE CALL IT A “PANDEMIC".
Why are you yelling at us? It doesn't make your joke any more funny.
Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe.
Like all the other jokes here, I copied and pasted it. No way am I retyping it.
At your age you should be thankful.
Did you see the winky emoji? I was kidding you. This is one thread where it helps to have a sense of humor.
Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe.
NO, I didn't see it. Could you reply in CAPS next time?
You engineers need to post some engineer jokes so we know you have a sense of humor.
The World Health Organization announced that dogs cannot contract COVID-19.
Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released.
To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.
An engineer, a statistician, and a physicist are out hunting. They spot a buck, and each take turn to try and bag it.
The physicist goes first. He pulls out his lab book and quickly calculates the trajectory of the bullet, assuming it is a perfect sphere in a vacuum. The bullet falls 5 ft below the deer.
The engineer goes second. He pulls out his engineering pad and book of projectile assumptions. After a few minutes he’s ready. He takes aim and he fires. The bullet lands 5 ft above the deer.
The statistician triumphantly leaps in the air shouting, “We got it!”
Leave it up to Sir Bryce to pull up an Engineer joke out of his hat
Two buddies are hunting and one has a huge new scope. He says wow I can see everything with this scope, it’s incredible. I can see your house and even in the window. Oh my, your wife is in there having sex with another guy. His friend says I want you to shoot her in the head and him in the private parts. His buddy says, I can do that with one shot.
.
It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.
When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift certificate envelope.
At the second house they presented him with a box of fine imported cigars.
The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures. At each of the houses along his route, he was met with congratulations, farewells, cards, and gifts of all types and values.
At the final house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful young lady in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door (which she closed behind him), and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where they had a most passionate liaison. Afterwards, they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge.
"All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, ".....but what's the dollar for?"
"Well," she said, "Last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you?"
He said, "...Scr*w him .........give him a dollar."
The lady then blushed and said, "....But the breakfast was my idea."
Here's a warning parable for coin collectors...
The optimist says the glass is half full.
The pessimist says the glass is half empty.
The engineer says the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe.
Who requested the Engineering jokes?
A uniform beam walks into a bar. The barman asks, "What would you like, good sir?"
The beam replies "Ummm… just give me a moment."
Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar, and then it doesn't
(alright, more for the physicists, but even engineers can appreciate it)
Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."
Did you hear about the Ceramic Engineering Professor who came to class drunk and fell into the kiln?
He got fired.
I wouldn't even know what Shrodinger's cat was if it wasn't for Sheldon!
A retired husband feared his wife wasn’t hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.
Not quite sure how to approach her, his Doctor to discuss the problem.
The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test he could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.
“Here’s what you do,” said the Doctor....
“Stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.”
That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and the husband was in the den.
He says to himself....
“I’m about 40 feet away, let’s see what happens.”
Then in a normal tone he asks....
“Honey, what’s for dinner?”
No response. So hemoves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats....
“Honey, what’s for dinner?”
Still no response.
Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks...
“Honey, what’s for dinner?”
Again he gets no response,
So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away.....
“Honey, what’s for dinner?”
Again there is no response.
So he walks right up behind her and asked...
“Honey, what’s for dinner?
The wife turns around and says...
Babe....for the FIFTH time, I’ve said, CHICKEN!
Cheers, RickO
Gosh, earlier this week from a buddy of mine
"This may shock you but I wanted to let you know that I volunteered for the vaccine trials for Covid-19. This vaccine is the one that was created in Russia.
I received my first shot yesterday at 4:00 pm, and I believe it's completely safe, with иo side effects whatsoeveя, and that I feelshκι χoρoshό я чувствую себя немного странно и я думаю, что вытащил осли."
I got one of those and started beating my shoe on the table screaming we will bury you.
Did you also get a big birthmark on your forehead?
Looks like it may be forming.
Another engineering joke.
An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."
Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."
_ Engineers like that really think the the next joke is hilarious_
One day, Einstein, Newton, and Pascal meet up and decide to play a game of hide and seek. Einstein volunteered to go first. As he counted, Pascal ran away scrambling to find a great hiding place. Giddily, he squeezed into a crawl space sure that he would win this time as this was his best hiding spot to date and Newton surely wouldn't find an equal. Newton on the other hand, stood right in front of Einstein, pulled out a piece of chalk and drew a box on the ground of roughly 1x1 meters. Once this was completed, he sat down neatly inside the box and waited for Einstein to finish counting. When Einstein opened his eyes, he of course saw Newton and with a bit of disappointment said “I found you Newton, you lose”... but Newton replied, “On the contrary, you are looking at one Newton over a square meter... Pascal loses!”