No worries. This thread has been a godsend in putting a little light on a world that has otherwise turned upside down. My thanks to the mods for letting us post here and all the contributers who have brightened up many a chaotic day for countless folks here. Keep up the great posts and keep it clean. We will get through this, like we always do.
A woman went to the doctor's office and was seen by one of the new young doctors. After about four minutes in the examination room, she started screaming and ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story. After listening, he told her to sit down and relax in another room. The older doctor marched down the hallway to the back where the first doctor was and demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?"
The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and, without looking up, said, "Does she still have the hiccups?"
A man enters a barbershop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.
"I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum."
The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced.
After a few strokes, the client asks in garbled speech, "And what if I swallow it?"
"No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."
Cheers, RickO
@Kirk222
Notice how things just sometimes happen?
There is a post about judgment above and below your post.
Maybe before you get this thread removed from the site you could review your judgement.
No one will think it is humorous when the humor thread is removed.
@Kirk222 said: @ifthevamzarockin
I don't know the meaning of your remarks. I can only assume you mean the spelling of Coke is somehow dirty. The joke comes form a respected British magazine. I find it to mean that the stockboy couldn't spell "Coke", even when the product was staring him in the face. My mind doesn't go straight to the gutter, but to the humor in everyday life.
Clearly not a real photo and is something done in photoshop as humor. Your mind doesn't need to go straight to the gutter when it is spelled out right in front of your face. While I am not offended, it is clear you need to grow up a little with your postings on this thread. Poor taste when we have members as young as 9 years old on this site.
Edited to add:
As soon as this thread turns into the dirty jokes thread it will go POOF!
Guy comes in to work Monday with two black eyes. Coworker says, "Geez, what happened to you?" Guy says, "Well, at church yesterday we all stood up to sing a hymn, and I noticed that the gal in front of me had the back of her dress stuck up into her a** crack. I figured that was pretty uncomfortable and she probably felt self-conscious about reaching around and pulling it out, so I discretely reached up and pulled it out for her. Then she turned around and socked me in the eye!" Coworker says, "But what about your other black eye?" Guy says, "Well, I figured she must have preferred to have her dress stuck in her a** crack, so I tucked it back in."
Kirk222 has been trying to shut down this thread for some time. If you report his post to the moderators, he will have succeeded. I like this thread and would hate to see it closed.
Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe.
@PerryHall said:
Kirk222 has been trying to shut down this thread for some time. If you report his post to the moderators, he will have succeeded. I like this thread and would hate to see it closed.
It doesn't matter. I'm sure the mods check this thread first each day.
Great transactions with oih82w8, JasonGaming, Moose1913.
"Since I am an old geezer"
You should know good judgement comes from experience like the post above & below yours says.
The 9 year old members here have better judgement.
No one will think it is humorous when the humor thread is removed.
As soon as this thread turns into the dirty jokes thread it will go POOF!
Go ahead and win that popularity contest. Make sure to only think of yourself and not other members here.
@PerryHall said:
Kirk222 has been trying to shut down this thread for some time. If you report his post to the moderators, he will have succeeded. I like this thread and would hate to see it closed.
The most humorous thing would be if he earned a red avatar.
In surgery for a heart attack, a middle-aged woman has a vision of God by her bedside. “Will I die?” she asks.
God says, “No. You have 30 more years to live.”
With 30 years to look forward to, she decides to make the best of it. So since she’s in the hospital, she gets breast implants, liposuction, a tummy tuck, hair transplants, and collagen injections in her lips. She looks great! The day she’s discharged, she exits the hospital with a swagger, crosses the street, and is immediately hit by an ambulance and killed. Up in heaven, she sees God. “You said I had 30 more years to live,” she complains.
For the record . . . .and I FULLY recognize this is not a numismatic post . . .
I am using the best, simple, 4-6 line (Ricko) posts here as my "Joke of the Day" in my 6 English 11 classes . . . .as well as my (done now) Nike Distance Running coaching Zoom lectures. I am LOVING them . . . .the 4-6 line good clean punchers are rocking. If we lost this . . . . . . I would be crushed on several fronts.
I will rock this as long as our Mods will allow it . . . and until the "I Need Attention" guys kill it. There are always those who will seek to destroy in the name of drawing attention to themselves . . . . . quite sad, actually.
I'm currently running the latest version of GirlFriend and I've
been having some problems lately. I've been running the same
version of Drinking Buddies 1.0 forever as my primary
application, and all the GirlFriend releases I've tried have
always conflicted with it. I hear that Drinking Buddies won't
crash if GirlFriend is run in background mode and the sound is
turned off. But I'm embarrassed to say I can't find the switch to
turn the sound off. I just run them separately, and it works
okay. Girlfriend also seems to have a problem coexisting with my
Golf program, often trying to abort Golf with some sort of timing
incompatibility.
I probably should have stayed with GirlFriend 1.0, but I thought
I might see better performance from GirlFriend 2.0. After months
of conflicts and other problems, I consulted a friend who has had
experience with GirlFriend 2.0. He said I probably didn't have
enough cache to run GirlFriend 2.0, and eventually it would
require a Token Ring to run properly. He was right - as soon as I
purged my cache, it uninstalled itself.
Shortly after that, I installed GirlFriend 3.0 beta. All the bugs
were supposed to be gone, but the first time I used it, it gave
me a virus anyway. I had to clean out my whole system and shut down
for while.
I very cautiously upgraded to GirlFriend 4.0. This time I used a
SCSI probe first and also installed a virus protection program.
It worked okay for a while until I discovered that GirlFriend 1.0
was still in my system. I tried running GirlFriend 1.0 again with
GirlFriend 4.0 still installed, but GirlFriend 4.0 has a feature
I didn't know about that automatically senses the presence of any
other version of GirlFriend and communicates with it in some way,
which results in the immediate removal of both versions.
The version I have now works pretty well, but there are still
some problems. Like all versions of GirlFriend, it is written in
some obscure language I can't understand, much less reprogram.
Frankly I think there is too much attention paid to the look and
feel rather than the desired functionality. Also, to get the best
connections with your hardware, you usually have to use
gold-plated contacts. And I've never liked how GirlFriend is
totally "object-oriented."
A year ago, a friend of mine upgraded his version of GirlFriend
to GirlFriendPlus 1.0, which is a Terminate and Stay Resident
version of GirlFriend. He discovered that GirlFriendPlus 1.0
expires within a year if you don't upgrade to Fiancee 1.0. So he
did, but soon after that, he had to upgrade to Wife 1.0, which he
describes as a huge resource hog. It has taken up all his space,
so he can't load anything else. One of the primary reasons he
decided to go with Wife 1.0 was because it came bundled with
FreeSexPlus.
Well, it turns out the resource allocation module of Wife 1.0
sometimes prohibits access to FreeSexPlus, particularly the new
Plug-Ins he wanted to try. On top of that, Wife 1.0 must be
running on a well warmed-up system before he can do anything.
Although he did not ask for it, Wife 1.0 came with MotherInLaw
which has an automatic pop-up feature he can't turn off.
I told him to try installing Mistress 1.0, but he said he heard
if you try to run it without first uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife
1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself.
Then Mistress 1.0 won't install anyway because of insufficient
resources.
I sure hope the Publisher straightens out this mess before the creation
of any new versions.
It's always tough to post signs in a language that's not your own, based on nothing more than what you learned (and didn't learn) in high school. Here're smoe examples:
In a Tokyo hotel: Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please.If you are not person to do such thing please not to read notis.
In a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
In a Bangkok dry cleaner's Drop your trousers here for best results.
In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ass?
On the door of a Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit to USSR, you are welcome to it.
In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
At a Majorcan shop entrance: "English well talking," and "Here speeching American"
@Kirk222 said: @ifthevamzarockin
I don't know the meaning of your remarks. I can only assume you mean the spelling of Coke is somehow dirty. The joke comes form a respected British magazine. I find it to mean that the stockboy couldn't spell "Coke", even when the product was staring him in the face. My mind doesn't go straight to the gutter, but to the humor in everyday life.
You'll understand when you get your warning from a moderator.
(At this rate if you keep it up you might go straight to banned)
It's not about your sensitivity or theirs, but on behalf of the most sensitive theoretical snowflake, who mustn't be offended, even at the price of free speech.
@Smudge said:
Why do husbands die before their wives?
Because they want to.
Hey, Smudge. That ONE is " Old as the hills and twice as dusty. ". But......it is one of the only jokes I know that I can tell without getting all mixed-up. When I tell it guys don't laugh......they just nod their head in agreement.
Comments
That's funny @hammer1
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
Redneck’s last words;
Hey y’all watch this.
Or in need of a bull
Insider2 is stealing our material.
https://www.ngccoin.com/boards/topic/421539-this-forum-needs-some-humor-too/#comments
No worries. This thread has been a godsend in putting a little light on a world that has otherwise turned upside down. My thanks to the mods for letting us post here and all the contributers who have brightened up many a chaotic day for countless folks here. Keep up the great posts and keep it clean. We will get through this, like we always do.
Dang. He was probably hoping it was the much scarcer 1905 Buffalo Nickel.
Pete
A woman went to the doctor's office and was seen by one of the new young doctors. After about four minutes in the examination room, she started screaming and ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story. After listening, he told her to sit down and relax in another room. The older doctor marched down the hallway to the back where the first doctor was and demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?"
The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and, without looking up, said, "Does she still have the hiccups?"
Cheers, RickO
A man enters a barbershop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.
"I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum."
The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced.
After a few strokes, the client asks in garbled speech, "And what if I swallow it?"
"No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."
Cheers, RickO
Yep, this site helps one survive the COVID-19.
I'll drink to that.
@Kirk222
Notice how things just sometimes happen?
There is a post about judgment above and below your post.
Maybe before you get this thread removed from the site you could review your judgement.
No one will think it is humorous when the humor thread is removed.
Clearly not a real photo and is something done in photoshop as humor. Your mind doesn't need to go straight to the gutter when it is spelled out right in front of your face. While I am not offended, it is clear you need to grow up a little with your postings on this thread. Poor taste when we have members as young as 9 years old on this site.
Edited to add:
As soon as this thread turns into the dirty jokes thread it will go POOF!
Guy comes in to work Monday with two black eyes. Coworker says, "Geez, what happened to you?" Guy says, "Well, at church yesterday we all stood up to sing a hymn, and I noticed that the gal in front of me had the back of her dress stuck up into her a** crack. I figured that was pretty uncomfortable and she probably felt self-conscious about reaching around and pulling it out, so I discretely reached up and pulled it out for her. Then she turned around and socked me in the eye!" Coworker says, "But what about your other black eye?" Guy says, "Well, I figured she must have preferred to have her dress stuck in her a** crack, so I tucked it back in."
Gawd, I love you guys!!!
Sometimes I come here and read the last thirty or so I missed, and some of you tell and show the best funnies!!
“We are only their care-takers,” he posed, “if we take good care of them, then centuries from now they may still be here … ”
Todd - BHNC #242
I didn't think they keep pestering people this far into the future about this stuff.
Pete
Hey Kirk. Knock it off.
Great transactions with oih82w8, JasonGaming, Moose1913.
x
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown
Kirk222 has been trying to shut down this thread for some time. If you report his post to the moderators, he will have succeeded. I like this thread and would hate to see it closed.
Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe.
It doesn't matter. I'm sure the mods check this thread first each day.
Great transactions with oih82w8, JasonGaming, Moose1913.
x
@Kirk222
I didn't say you photoshoped it.
"Since I am an old geezer"
You should know good judgement comes from experience like the post above & below yours says.
The 9 year old members here have better judgement.
No one will think it is humorous when the humor thread is removed.
As soon as this thread turns into the dirty jokes thread it will go POOF!
Go ahead and win that popularity contest.
Make sure to only think of yourself and not other members here.
Here's a classic:
Here's a warning parable for coin collectors...
The most humorous thing would be if he earned a red avatar.
"And I now award you the Medal of Courage"
"And in return you will endorse me in the next election!"
The Mysterious Egyptian Magic Coin
Coins in Movies
Coins on Television
In surgery for a heart attack, a middle-aged woman has a vision of God by her bedside. “Will I die?” she asks.
God says, “No. You have 30 more years to live.”
With 30 years to look forward to, she decides to make the best of it. So since she’s in the hospital, she gets breast implants, liposuction, a tummy tuck, hair transplants, and collagen injections in her lips. She looks great! The day she’s discharged, she exits the hospital with a swagger, crosses the street, and is immediately hit by an ambulance and killed. Up in heaven, she sees God. “You said I had 30 more years to live,” she complains.
“That’s true,” says God.
“So what happened?” she asks.
God shrugs. “I didn’t recognize you.”
Great transactions with oih82w8, JasonGaming, Moose1913.
For the record . . . .and I FULLY recognize this is not a numismatic post . . .
I am using the best, simple, 4-6 line (Ricko) posts here as my "Joke of the Day" in my 6 English 11 classes . . . .as well as my (done now) Nike Distance Running coaching Zoom lectures. I am LOVING them . . . .the 4-6 line good clean punchers are rocking. If we lost this . . . . . . I would be crushed on several fronts.
I will rock this as long as our Mods will allow it . . . and until the "I Need Attention" guys kill it. There are always those who will seek to destroy in the name of drawing attention to themselves . . . . . quite sad, actually.
Drunner
My Dear Computeruser Friend:
I'm currently running the latest version of GirlFriend and I've
been having some problems lately. I've been running the same
version of Drinking Buddies 1.0 forever as my primary
application, and all the GirlFriend releases I've tried have
always conflicted with it. I hear that Drinking Buddies won't
crash if GirlFriend is run in background mode and the sound is
turned off. But I'm embarrassed to say I can't find the switch to
turn the sound off. I just run them separately, and it works
okay. Girlfriend also seems to have a problem coexisting with my
Golf program, often trying to abort Golf with some sort of timing
incompatibility.
I probably should have stayed with GirlFriend 1.0, but I thought
I might see better performance from GirlFriend 2.0. After months
of conflicts and other problems, I consulted a friend who has had
experience with GirlFriend 2.0. He said I probably didn't have
enough cache to run GirlFriend 2.0, and eventually it would
require a Token Ring to run properly. He was right - as soon as I
purged my cache, it uninstalled itself.
Shortly after that, I installed GirlFriend 3.0 beta. All the bugs
were supposed to be gone, but the first time I used it, it gave
me a virus anyway. I had to clean out my whole system and shut down
for while.
I very cautiously upgraded to GirlFriend 4.0. This time I used a
SCSI probe first and also installed a virus protection program.
It worked okay for a while until I discovered that GirlFriend 1.0
was still in my system. I tried running GirlFriend 1.0 again with
GirlFriend 4.0 still installed, but GirlFriend 4.0 has a feature
I didn't know about that automatically senses the presence of any
other version of GirlFriend and communicates with it in some way,
which results in the immediate removal of both versions.
The version I have now works pretty well, but there are still
some problems. Like all versions of GirlFriend, it is written in
some obscure language I can't understand, much less reprogram.
Frankly I think there is too much attention paid to the look and
feel rather than the desired functionality. Also, to get the best
connections with your hardware, you usually have to use
gold-plated contacts. And I've never liked how GirlFriend is
totally "object-oriented."
A year ago, a friend of mine upgraded his version of GirlFriend
to GirlFriendPlus 1.0, which is a Terminate and Stay Resident
version of GirlFriend. He discovered that GirlFriendPlus 1.0
expires within a year if you don't upgrade to Fiancee 1.0. So he
did, but soon after that, he had to upgrade to Wife 1.0, which he
describes as a huge resource hog. It has taken up all his space,
so he can't load anything else. One of the primary reasons he
decided to go with Wife 1.0 was because it came bundled with
FreeSexPlus.
Well, it turns out the resource allocation module of Wife 1.0
sometimes prohibits access to FreeSexPlus, particularly the new
Plug-Ins he wanted to try. On top of that, Wife 1.0 must be
running on a well warmed-up system before he can do anything.
Although he did not ask for it, Wife 1.0 came with MotherInLaw
which has an automatic pop-up feature he can't turn off.
I told him to try installing Mistress 1.0, but he said he heard
if you try to run it without first uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife
1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself.
Then Mistress 1.0 won't install anyway because of insufficient
resources.
I sure hope the Publisher straightens out this mess before the creation
of any new versions.
Your Pal,
U.S. Type Set
It's always tough to post signs in a language that's not your own, based on nothing more than what you learned (and didn't learn) in high school. Here're smoe examples:
In a Tokyo hotel: Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please.If you are not person to do such thing please not to read notis.
In a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
In a Bangkok dry cleaner's Drop your trousers here for best results.
In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ass?
On the door of a Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit to USSR, you are welcome to it.
In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
At a Majorcan shop entrance: "English well talking," and "Here speeching American"
Here's a warning parable for coin collectors...
You'll understand when you get your warning from a moderator.
(At this rate if you keep it up you might go straight to banned)
It's not about your sensitivity or theirs, but on behalf of the most sensitive theoretical snowflake, who mustn't be offended, even at the price of free speech.
Liberty: Parent of Science & Industry
It was fun while it lasted.
Why do husbands die before their wives?
Because they want to.
Why do dogs lick their genitals?
Because they can.
Here's a warning parable for coin collectors...
Hey, Smudge. That ONE is " Old as the hills and twice as dusty. ". But......it is one of the only jokes I know that I can tell without getting all mixed-up. When I tell it guys don't laugh......they just nod their head in agreement.