So this Termite with really bad periodontitis disease walks into a Bar and the music stops and everyone is looking at him...........and he say's "Is the Bar Tender Here"
A hedge fund manager steps out of his Porsche and a truck races by and took the door off the car. My Porsche is ruined he screamed. A police officer shakes his head in disgust. You are so focused on your possessions that you didn’t even realize your left arm was shorn off when the truck hit you. The hedge fund manager looks down in horror. Oh no he cries, my Rolex.
As a former hedge fund manager, I don't think that's funny.
@ShaunBC5 said:
I got hit head on with only a lap belt on (hooray for ‘60s safety!).
I hit my face on the steering wheel and paid through the nose!
Ouch.
Thankfully, You win.
Head on collision? Scary.
A story from the 60's.
A Rabbi and a priest got into a car accident on a highway.
While waiting for the police the rabbi took a bottle of wine out of the trunk and offered a glass to the priest who accepted.
Time passed and the priest now had 4 or 5 glasses by the time the policeman arrived. The Rabbis car in front and the Priest's car behind him. The policeman surveys the situation and takes the priest aside (a bit of alcohol smell is noted) and asks him, So father how fast was the rabbi car going when he backed into you?
A fella was saying to his friend, "My wife seems to have developed some sort of fixation that her collection of fur coats will be stolen. When I came home early one day last week, I found she'd hired someone to guard them! In fact, she stationed the poor guy right inside the closet!"
The wife and I were watching a movie that contained scene with two lesbians. I turned to the wife and said, "If I was in bed with the women you know what I would do? " "She answered , watch them",
Years back I was buying papers from the general store and a family friend was behind the counter.
She kinda gave me that look, the, I'm going to tell your mother look.
I explained to her that I write messages on them and put them on the fridge.
Epic fail...
Months later my mother introduced me to Sticky Notes and said, "see that, you could have been on the cutting edge".
Police
Those who wish to defund the police
Those that wish to refund the police
People who drink too much
People who drink too little
Wives
Partners
Divorced couples
Those thinking of getting married
My binary spouse who is reading this....
A cop stops a drunk late at night and asks where he's going. " I'm going to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body." Slurs the drunk. " Really? who's giving that lecture at one in the morning?" " My wife."
I dialed a number and got the following recording:
"I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes."
Comments
So this Termite with really bad periodontitis disease walks into a Bar and the music stops and everyone is looking at him...........and he say's "Is the Bar Tender Here"
Steve
As a former hedge fund manager, I don't think that's funny.
@jkrk vehicle door damage and loss of a watch are never funny. Time is the one thing you can’t get back. It’s an open and shut case.
Touche
Although, years ago when I had a car accident The door was badly damaged.
It cost an arm and a leg to fix it.
I got hit head on with only a lap belt on (hooray for ‘60s safety!).
I hit my face on the steering wheel and paid through the nose!
Cheers, RickO
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb, Ricko
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
Ouch.
Thankfully, You win.
Head on collision? Scary.
A story from the 60's.
A Rabbi and a priest got into a car accident on a highway.
While waiting for the police the rabbi took a bottle of wine out of the trunk and offered a glass to the priest who accepted.
Time passed and the priest now had 4 or 5 glasses by the time the policeman arrived. The Rabbis car in front and the Priest's car behind him. The policeman surveys the situation and takes the priest aside (a bit of alcohol smell is noted) and asks him, So father how fast was the rabbi car going when he backed into you?
A fella was saying to his friend, "My wife seems to have developed some sort of fixation that her collection of fur coats will be stolen. When I came home early one day last week, I found she'd hired someone to guard them! In fact, she stationed the poor guy right inside the closet!"
Cheers, RickO
Nine Important Facts to Remember as We Grow Older:
9 Death is the number 1 killer in the world.
8 Life is sexually transmitted.
7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
6 Men have two motivations: hunger and hanky-panky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing
3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
2 In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.
1 Life is like a jar of jalapeño peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow.
Please share this wisdom with others; I need to go to the bathroom.
Lighten up. They call it humor. Talk about time passing someone by. Do they give out skin in this new era?
Cheers, RickO
As far as I'm concerned EVERY day is Earth Day.
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb, Ricko
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
I believe the correct response would be “we gonna party like it’s your earth day”
That’s just my 50 Cent’s worth.
just sayin
“If you lose one sense, your other senses are enhanced. That’s why people with no sense of humor have a heightened sense of self-importance.”
I wish this would work here in the U.S.A.!!
Beer at McDonalds in Germany!!
Sometimes, it’s better to be LUCKY than good. 🍀 🍺👍
My Full Walker Registry Set (1916-1947):
https://www.ngccoin.com/registry/competitive-sets/16292/
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
The wife and I were watching a movie that contained scene with two lesbians. I turned to the wife and said, "If I was in bed with the women you know what I would do? " "She answered , watch them",
She's probably right.
Government is the great fiction through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else. - Bastiat
I am a man.
I am a easy going guy.
And I am proud to be a Lesbian and an old timer.
LOL
Years back I was buying papers from the general store and a family friend was behind the counter.
She kinda gave me that look, the, I'm going to tell your mother look.
I explained to her that I write messages on them and put them on the fridge.
Epic fail...
Months later my mother introduced me to Sticky Notes and said, "see that, you could have been on the cutting edge".
It's a cloth's pin for hanging clothing on rope?
It's a toothbrush?
Is it a Waterford Crystal Pretzel in the making?
I'm out of here.
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb, Ricko
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Another oldie.... but first an apology to....
Police
Those who wish to defund the police
Those that wish to refund the police
People who drink too much
People who drink too little
Wives
Partners
Divorced couples
Those thinking of getting married
My binary spouse who is reading this....
A cop stops a drunk late at night and asks where he's going. " I'm going to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body." Slurs the drunk. " Really? who's giving that lecture at one in the morning?" " My wife."
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Here’s something you don’t see every day! Is she being coy?
Pete
Cheers, RickO
Disclaimer: I'm not a dealer, trader, grader, investor or professional numismatist. I'm just a hobbyist. (To protect me but mostly you! 🤣 )
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Sometimes, it’s better to be LUCKY than good. 🍀 🍺👍
My Full Walker Registry Set (1916-1947):
https://www.ngccoin.com/registry/competitive-sets/16292/
I dialed a number and got the following recording:
"I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes."