Rebecca and Bernie have been married for fifty years and are being interviewed by the local paper. "So Rebecca", asks the reporter, "I know that this is your golden wedding anniversary, but how old, exactly, are you?" "I am 78 years old", replies Rebecca, "and God willing I should live to be a hundred".
"Well I hope your wish comes true, "says the reporter. The reporter than turns to Bernie and asks, "and how old are you, Bernie". "I am also 78 years old", replies Bernie, and please God let me live to be a hundred and one."
"But why, "asks the reporter, "do you want to live one year longer than your wife?"
"Well, to tell you the truth,"replies Bernie, "I would like to have at least one year of peace and quiet."
I'm sitting here reading the forum needs a little humor.
Sometimes I post a joke and no one clicks the LOL button. For me, this is a major problem. I have to read and review over and over the joke (which I thought was funny) for days/weeks only to remain perplexed that I'm the only person who was amused (I'm not obsessive, right?) After a month or so I have to stop and the frustration sets in.
in order to feel better about myself I need to buy a coin (I know a therapist might be cheaper?). I search E_Bay. Heritage. Stacks, GC DLR etc and usually zone in on something.
"Are you going to get to the point?"
AS I sit here I'm beginning to realize that the readers of this thread are costing me money on a fairly regular interval.
So... who do I blame ... Kind of like the old joke..
Wife: Do these jeans make me look fat?
Husband: Come on honey, let's not blame it on the jeans.
in honor of @jkrk present situation, I present an older one, written various versions but this one always makes me laugh.
A man was walking along the beach in Oregon and found a bottle. He looked around and didn't see anyone so he opened it.
A genie appeared, thanked the man for letting him out, and said, "For your kindness I will grant you one wish, but only one."
The man thought for a minute and said, "I have always wanted to go to Hawaii but have never been able to because I'm afraid of flying and ships make me claustrophobic and ill. So I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii."
The genie thought for a few minutes and said, "No, I don't think I can do that. Just think of all the work involved with the pilings needed to hold up the highway and how deep they would have to be to reach the bottom of the ocean. Think of all the pavement that would be needed from Coos Bay. No, that is just too much to ask."
The man thought for a minute and then told the genie, "There is one other thing that I have always wanted. I would like to be able to understand women. What makes them laugh and cry, why are they temperamental, why are they so difficult to get along with? Basically, what makes them tick."
The genie considered for a few moments and sighed, "So, do you want two lanes or four?"
Comments
i thought about posting this in the a crypto/investing thread but it is probably more apropos here
She is listen to her music and is in her Happy place - has no idea where she is either LOL
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Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
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nsfw
removed
ok this one is pretty cleaned up
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Rebecca and Bernie have been married for fifty years and are being interviewed by the local paper. "So Rebecca", asks the reporter, "I know that this is your golden wedding anniversary, but how old, exactly, are you?" "I am 78 years old", replies Rebecca, "and God willing I should live to be a hundred".
"Well I hope your wish comes true, "says the reporter. The reporter than turns to Bernie and asks, "and how old are you, Bernie". "I am also 78 years old", replies Bernie, and please God let me live to be a hundred and one."
"But why, "asks the reporter, "do you want to live one year longer than your wife?"
"Well, to tell you the truth,"replies Bernie, "I would like to have at least one year of peace and quiet."
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Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
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USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
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USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
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"OLD" IS WHEN ...
You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
"OLD" IS WHEN ...
"Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.
"OLD" IS WHEN ...
An "all nighter" means not getting up to use the bathroom.
"OLD" IS WHEN ...
You are not sure these are jokes?!?
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
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USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
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USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
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every time i watch this and read that first comment (the cave man one) it just cracks....me.....up
Smooth move, now you can relax and watch the game.
Goal !
Chapter 8
Speed dating in reverse
.
!
BANG !
En·vi·ron·men·tal damage ?
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
I'm sitting here reading the forum needs a little humor.
Sometimes I post a joke and no one clicks the LOL button. For me, this is a major problem. I have to read and review over and over the joke (which I thought was funny) for days/weeks only to remain perplexed that I'm the only person who was amused (I'm not obsessive, right?) After a month or so I have to stop and the frustration sets in.
in order to feel better about myself I need to buy a coin (I know a therapist might be cheaper?). I search E_Bay. Heritage. Stacks, GC DLR etc and usually zone in on something.
"Are you going to get to the point?"
AS I sit here I'm beginning to realize that the readers of this thread are costing me money on a fairly regular interval.
So... who do I blame ... Kind of like the old joke..
Wife: Do these jeans make me look fat?
Husband: Come on honey, let's not blame it on the jeans.
in honor of @jkrk present situation, I present an older one, written various versions but this one always makes me laugh.
A man was walking along the beach in Oregon and found a bottle. He looked around and didn't see anyone so he opened it.
A genie appeared, thanked the man for letting him out, and said, "For your kindness I will grant you one wish, but only one."
The man thought for a minute and said, "I have always wanted to go to Hawaii but have never been able to because I'm afraid of flying and ships make me claustrophobic and ill. So I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii."
The genie thought for a few minutes and said, "No, I don't think I can do that. Just think of all the work involved with the pilings needed to hold up the highway and how deep they would have to be to reach the bottom of the ocean. Think of all the pavement that would be needed from Coos Bay. No, that is just too much to ask."
The man thought for a minute and then told the genie, "There is one other thing that I have always wanted. I would like to be able to understand women. What makes them laugh and cry, why are they temperamental, why are they so difficult to get along with? Basically, what makes them tick."
The genie considered for a few moments and sighed, "So, do you want two lanes or four?"
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Love this!
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USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
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USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
We are Penn's State and our Mummers tell their story's walking. Like this. "Septa"........., LOL,... is the preferred source of travel.
Here we go again.
BUC ?
Gluteamacsumis
I fig-u-red you may want this.
That's just too sweet.
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
News from Hollywood:
Actor Johnny Depp to star in remake of "Forever Amber".
The Mysterious Egyptian Magic Coin
Coins in Movies
Coins on Television
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb
Bad transactions with : nobody to date