SO YOU COWARDS think you're tough because you jumped me last night?? Waited for me to be alone... in front of my house???
I still handled all of you, left 3 of you on the ground laid out!! You're lucky I don't have any marks on my face. I have some on my arms and neck but so what!!!! I bet you didn't expect me to swing back since it was 6 against one.
I might be old but I'm not too old for this!
Yeah, I'm not gonna lie I was getting tired of fighting and just wanted to go back in the house, but I kept on swinging and made sure you got yours!!!!!
All I have to say is, you started this and I finished it.
Man I hate mosquitoes!!!...
Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you will
have to pee.
Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
Variation Law: If you change traffic lanes, or grocery checkout lines, the one you were in will start to move faster
than the one you are in now.
Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone
you don’t want to be seen with.
Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.
Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Law of the Theatre: The people whose seats are furthest from the aisle will arrive last.
Wilson’s Law: As soon as you find a product you really like, they will stop making it
"Ain't None of Them play like him (Bix Beiderbecke) Yet." Louis Armstrong
I see alot of jokes on here that refer to White people, Jewish people and Asian
people etc., and yet I have not seen you make a post calling those jokes "racist"
Seems to be 1 sided here .....
When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it.
The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave. Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.
When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."
He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling." So the magistrate kept listening; "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."
Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate. He stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing."
@ricko said:
A retired guy was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.
She said.....
"You used to hold my hand when we were dating."
Wearily the old man reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep.
A few moments later she said....
"Then you used to kiss me."
Mildly irritated, the old guy reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.
Thirty seconds later she said....
"Then you used to bite my neck"
Angrily, he threw back the bed covers and got out of bed.
"Where are you going?" she asked.
The guy replied.....
"To get my teeth!"
Cheers, RickO
We've worn out blonde jokes so now we're telling false teeth jokes?
Here's mine:
1)Very, very funny... but can't tell that one in mixed company
2)Almost as funny but... not appropriate.
3)A young man sees an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at the local fast food restaurant. He notices that they have ordered only one meal, and an extra drink cup.
As he watches, the gentleman carefully divides the hamburger in half, counts out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each has half of them. Then he pours half of the soft drink into the extra cup and sets it down in front of his wife.
The old man then starts to eat, while his wife sits watching, with her hands folded in her lap. The young man, feeling moved, decides to ask if they would allow him to purchase another meal for them so they don’t have to split theirs.
The old gentleman says, “Oh no. We’ve been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared, 50/50.”
The young man then asks the wife if she was going to eat her half, to which she replies, “Oh, yes… but it’s his turn with the teeth.”
Not as funny so I would vote on how joke 1 or 2 would rate.
True story.
Growing up in our local boys club, at the towns Fourth of July BBQ.
The parents (s) from the club were manning the hot dog venue, cooking over 200-300 dogs for all in attendance. (free hot dogs)
As the water in the horse troughs came to a boil, the plastic was ripped open dropping the dogs into the mist.
Never mind the FREE INSIDE on the packs.
Free Inside , The Oscar Myer Wiener Whistle, in every pack.
My guess... It must have sounded like a clam bake.
Comments
Double and Triple Black Walnuts
Lafayette Grading Set
Cheers, RickO
Cheers, RickO
Wall of HONOR transaction list:WonderCoin, CoinFlip, Masscrew, Travintiques, lordmarcovan, Jinx86, Gerard, ElKevvo
SO YOU COWARDS think you're tough because you jumped me last night?? Waited for me to be alone... in front of my house???
I still handled all of you, left 3 of you on the ground laid out!! You're lucky I don't have any marks on my face. I have some on my arms and neck but so what!!!! I bet you didn't expect me to swing back since it was 6 against one.
I might be old but I'm not too old for this!
Yeah, I'm not gonna lie I was getting tired of fighting and just wanted to go back in the house, but I kept on swinging and made sure you got yours!!!!!
All I have to say is, you started this and I finished it.
Man I hate mosquitoes!!!...
I'd give it a shot.
Good Lord! I was still trying to get used to "Canned Wieners" with a "Sack-O- Sauce" -
"When they can't find anything wrong with you, they create it!"
My Wife Remembers Her 1st Computer
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown
Yuck. Let me try that again: YUCK!
Smitten with DBLCs.
Racist. I don't think you're getting it.
Smitten with DBLCs.
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Coinsof1984@martinb6830 on twitter
A FEW BASIC TRUTHS
Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you will
have to pee.
Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
Variation Law: If you change traffic lanes, or grocery checkout lines, the one you were in will start to move faster
than the one you are in now.
Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone
you don’t want to be seen with.
Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.
Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Law of the Theatre: The people whose seats are furthest from the aisle will arrive last.
Wilson’s Law: As soon as you find a product you really like, they will stop making it
Louis Armstrong
peacockcoins
Racist. I don't think you're getting it.
I see alot of jokes on here that refer to White people, Jewish people and Asian
people etc., and yet I have not seen you make a post calling those jokes "racist"
Seems to be 1 sided here .....
When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it.
The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave. Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.
When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."
He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling." So the magistrate kept listening; "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."
Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate. He stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing."
Party Monsters
Pete
We've worn out blonde jokes so now we're telling false teeth jokes?
Here's mine:
1)Very, very funny... but can't tell that one in mixed company
2)Almost as funny but... not appropriate.
3)A young man sees an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at the local fast food restaurant. He notices that they have ordered only one meal, and an extra drink cup.
As he watches, the gentleman carefully divides the hamburger in half, counts out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each has half of them. Then he pours half of the soft drink into the extra cup and sets it down in front of his wife.
The old man then starts to eat, while his wife sits watching, with her hands folded in her lap. The young man, feeling moved, decides to ask if they would allow him to purchase another meal for them so they don’t have to split theirs.
The old gentleman says, “Oh no. We’ve been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared, 50/50.”
The young man then asks the wife if she was going to eat her half, to which she replies, “Oh, yes… but it’s his turn with the teeth.”
Not as funny so I would vote on how joke 1 or 2 would rate.
True story.
Growing up in our local boys club, at the towns Fourth of July BBQ.
The parents (s) from the club were manning the hot dog venue, cooking over 200-300 dogs for all in attendance. (free hot dogs)
As the water in the horse troughs came to a boil, the plastic was ripped open dropping the dogs into the mist.
Never mind the FREE INSIDE on the packs.
Free Inside , The Oscar Myer Wiener Whistle, in every pack.
My guess... It must have sounded like a clam bake.
Trick or Treat... Hello ?
My Wife Has Issued An Update About Tracking Your Holiday Packages
U.S. Type Set
^ Some member here had the puking pumpkin as his avatar.
"When they can't find anything wrong with you, they create it!"
"When they can't find anything wrong with you, they create it!"
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
My dog to a "T"...............
"When they can't find anything wrong with you, they create it!"
"When they can't find anything wrong with you, they create it!"
"When they can't find anything wrong with you, they create it!"
(OK, might as well get rid of this one
)
"When they can't find anything wrong with you, they create it!"
Coinsof1984@martinb6830 on twitter
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Looks like that post got "poofed" as soon as management came in this morning.
Cheers, RickO
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...