They missed the incorrect facts. The ride was in 1775 and they didn’t say “British” since many of the “Americans” would have still considered themselves British. Revere referred to them as “Regulars”.
They missed the incorrect facts. The ride was in 1775 and they didn’t say “British” since many of the “Americans” would have still considered themselves British. Revere referred to them as “Regulars”.
A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time.
"How wonderful!
But I hope you don't mind me asking what happened to your first husband?"
"He ate poisonous mushrooms and died."
"Oh, how tragic!
What about your second husband?"
"He ate poisonous mushrooms too and died."
"Oh, how terrible!
I'm almost afraid to ask you about your third husband."
"He died of a broken neck."
"A broken neck?"
"He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."
Last night I went into a shop here in St. Croix, thinking about having my ear pierced.
I walked up to the counter and said, "I'd like to get my ear pierced to celebrate spending time here. How much will that cost?"
The shopkeeper replied, "It'll be $20, plus the cost of the earring you get. If that works for you, you can go pick out the earring while I set up to pierce your ear."
I wandered off to look through the options when another guy walked in. He was dressed in shabby clothes, had a peg leg, a parrot on his shoulder, multiple piercings, and a sword slung at his waist. He walked up to the counter and growls, "Yar, I think it be time to get another set of holes in me ears. How much be it for both?"
The proprietor responded, "That'll be $2."
The pirate walked away to go find just the right pair of earrings to match up with his existing jewelry.
Hearing this, I came back up to the counter and said, "Hey, what's the deal? You're charging me $20 for one ear, but that other guy gets both ears for just $2?"
The shopkeeper replied, "Well, that's because he's a buccaneer..."
An Octogenarian moved to a new town and joined the local Country Club. He went to the Club for the first time to play but was told everyone scheduled to play was already out on the course. He was so disappointed, the Assistant Pro said he would play with him and would give him a 12 stroke handicap.
The 80 year old said, "I really don't need a handicap. The only real problem I have is getting out of sand traps."
They both played well. Coming into the par three 18th they were even. The pro had a nice drive to mid-fairway and would be able to get on the green with the next stroke and then putt for a par with the following play.
The old man hit a long drive, and the ball landed in one of the two sand traps around the hole. Shooting from the sand trap on his second stroke, he hit a high ball which landed on the green and rolled right into the hole!
The Assistant Pro was stunned. "Nice shot, but I thought you said you have a problem getting out of sand traps."
"I do," replied the octogenarian. "Give me a hand."
One night at a local bar frequented by a bunch of deer hunters who were waiting for the opening day of deer season, the local sheriff scoped out the joint for possible drunk drivers.
As he waited, eventually a patron stumbled out of the bar, fumbled for his keys, tried them in three different cars until he finally found his, got inside and rested his head on the steering wheel. The deputy knew he had his drunk driver, so now all he had to do was wait for him to start his engine and pull out of the lot.
A few hours passed by and most of the other deer hunters had left by then, when the patron abruptly lifted his head, cranked the car up and drove out of the lot like a bat out of hell. The deputy followed him and stopped him promptly.
He administered the breath-o-lyzer test and it read 0.00. Confused, the deputy asked the driver what the hell was going on.
The driver looked at him innocently and said, "Well, tonight I'm the designated decoy."
A young man and a young woman were soon to be married, but they both had a problem they had never told anyone else about. The man approached his father one day before the wedding and told him about his problem. His feet REALLY stunk, even if he washed them constantly, he was worried that this would scare off his new bride, so he needed a solution, fast. His father pondered the situation and finally told his son to wear socks constantly (even to bed) and always wash his feet whenever he got a chance. The son thought about this and went along happy.
The same day the young lady approached her mother and told her about her problem. Her morning breath was horrid. Her mother reassured her and told her everyone had bad morning breath. The young woman told her mother that this was not normal morning breath but easily the worst in the world. The mother thinks about this and comes up with this bright idea. She tells her daughter to get up earlier than everyone else and don't say a thing, go make breakfast and then brush her teeth while the others are eating. The young woman thinks and then runs off to get ready for the wedding, happy.
The couple is married and they are happy, him with his perpetual socks and her with her morning silences. One morning about 5:30 am the young man wakes up to find one sock missing. He starts rustling around in the bed looking for it, which of course wakes up his wife, who without thinking asks what's wrong.
With a look of shock on his face the young man says, "OH MY GOD! You've swallowed my sock!"
A dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water."
"But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"
A 75-year-old man in the front row stood up and said,
When I see lover’s names carved into the wood on a tree, I don’t think it’s sweet. I just think how surprising it is how many people bring a knife on a date.
@ricko said:
A dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water."
"But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"
A 75-year-old man in the front row stood up and said,
Interesting little piece of trivia. If you go to a wedding and either/both the bride or the groom smashes the wedding cake into the other during the cake ceremony, then the odds of divorce have just doubled. FWIW, psychologists basically think it shows underlying issues between the couple.
Interesting little piece of trivia. If you go to a wedding and either/both the bride or the groom smashes the wedding cake into the other during the cake ceremony, then the odds of divorce have just doubled. FWIW, psychologists basically think it shows underlying issues between the couple.
When my one of my cousins got married they agreed not to smash cake into each others face. She smashed the cake in his face anyway. He was very mad. The marriage did not last very long.
Comments
"When they can't find anything wrong with you, they create it!"
They missed the incorrect facts. The ride was in 1775 and they didn’t say “British” since many of the “Americans” would have still considered themselves British. Revere referred to them as “Regulars”.
Would he have called them "Tories"?
Two snakes are talking.
One of them turns to the other and asks, "Are we venomous?"
The other replays, "Yes,why?..."
"I just bit ma lip."
A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time.
"How wonderful!
But I hope you don't mind me asking what happened to your first husband?"
"He ate poisonous mushrooms and died."
"Oh, how tragic!
What about your second husband?"
"He ate poisonous mushrooms too and died."
"Oh, how terrible!
I'm almost afraid to ask you about your third husband."
"He died of a broken neck."
"A broken neck?"
"He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."
Silly rabbits, carrots are for hippos.
Sketching my next project. Ya I'm that lazy.
Or is it etching
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
that is CLASSIC
"When they can't find anything wrong with you, they create it!"
U.S. Type Set
Last night I went into a shop here in St. Croix, thinking about having my ear pierced.
I walked up to the counter and said, "I'd like to get my ear pierced to celebrate spending time here. How much will that cost?"
The shopkeeper replied, "It'll be $20, plus the cost of the earring you get. If that works for you, you can go pick out the earring while I set up to pierce your ear."
I wandered off to look through the options when another guy walked in. He was dressed in shabby clothes, had a peg leg, a parrot on his shoulder, multiple piercings, and a sword slung at his waist. He walked up to the counter and growls, "Yar, I think it be time to get another set of holes in me ears. How much be it for both?"
The proprietor responded, "That'll be $2."
The pirate walked away to go find just the right pair of earrings to match up with his existing jewelry.
Hearing this, I came back up to the counter and said, "Hey, what's the deal? You're charging me $20 for one ear, but that other guy gets both ears for just $2?"
The shopkeeper replied, "Well, that's because he's a buccaneer..."
This must be the double, coin collectors are looking for.
An Octogenarian moved to a new town and joined the local Country Club. He went to the Club for the first time to play but was told everyone scheduled to play was already out on the course. He was so disappointed, the Assistant Pro said he would play with him and would give him a 12 stroke handicap.
The 80 year old said, "I really don't need a handicap. The only real problem I have is getting out of sand traps."
They both played well. Coming into the par three 18th they were even. The pro had a nice drive to mid-fairway and would be able to get on the green with the next stroke and then putt for a par with the following play.
The old man hit a long drive, and the ball landed in one of the two sand traps around the hole. Shooting from the sand trap on his second stroke, he hit a high ball which landed on the green and rolled right into the hole!
The Assistant Pro was stunned. "Nice shot, but I thought you said you have a problem getting out of sand traps."
"I do," replied the octogenarian. "Give me a hand."
Cheers, RickO
One night at a local bar frequented by a bunch of deer hunters who were waiting for the opening day of deer season, the local sheriff scoped out the joint for possible drunk drivers.
As he waited, eventually a patron stumbled out of the bar, fumbled for his keys, tried them in three different cars until he finally found his, got inside and rested his head on the steering wheel. The deputy knew he had his drunk driver, so now all he had to do was wait for him to start his engine and pull out of the lot.
A few hours passed by and most of the other deer hunters had left by then, when the patron abruptly lifted his head, cranked the car up and drove out of the lot like a bat out of hell. The deputy followed him and stopped him promptly.
He administered the breath-o-lyzer test and it read 0.00. Confused, the deputy asked the driver what the hell was going on.
The driver looked at him innocently and said, "Well, tonight I'm the designated decoy."
Cheers, RickO
A young man and a young woman were soon to be married, but they both had a problem they had never told anyone else about. The man approached his father one day before the wedding and told him about his problem. His feet REALLY stunk, even if he washed them constantly, he was worried that this would scare off his new bride, so he needed a solution, fast. His father pondered the situation and finally told his son to wear socks constantly (even to bed) and always wash his feet whenever he got a chance. The son thought about this and went along happy.
The same day the young lady approached her mother and told her about her problem. Her morning breath was horrid. Her mother reassured her and told her everyone had bad morning breath. The young woman told her mother that this was not normal morning breath but easily the worst in the world. The mother thinks about this and comes up with this bright idea. She tells her daughter to get up earlier than everyone else and don't say a thing, go make breakfast and then brush her teeth while the others are eating. The young woman thinks and then runs off to get ready for the wedding, happy.
The couple is married and they are happy, him with his perpetual socks and her with her morning silences. One morning about 5:30 am the young man wakes up to find one sock missing. He starts rustling around in the bed looking for it, which of course wakes up his wife, who without thinking asks what's wrong.
With a look of shock on his face the young man says, "OH MY GOD! You've swallowed my sock!"
Cheers, RickO
A dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water."
"But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"
A 75-year-old man in the front row stood up and said,
"Wedding cake."
Cheers, RickO
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
When I see lover’s names carved into the wood on a tree, I don’t think it’s sweet. I just think how surprising it is how many people bring a knife on a date.
I lost my wife’s audiobook, and now I’ll never hear the end of it.
Cheers, RickO
U.S. Type Set
Pete
Cheers, RickO
I kinda felt guilty clicking LOL ...
See http://www.doubledimes.com for a free online reference for US twenty-cent pieces
It also destroys a woman’s sex drive.
"Wedding cake."
https://youtu.be/Ce93xMEqoJ4
.
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb, Ricko
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
"When they can't find anything wrong with you, they create it!"
I hear the scarecrow received an award for outstanding in his field.
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb, Ricko
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb, Ricko
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
Supposedly a teacher once asked a class to write a short story that included royalty, religion, romance, and mystery.
The winner, and the shortest story, was:
"Oh my God!" cried the Queen. "I'm pregnant! I wonder who the father is?"
So this was
supposed to be about humor. When did pictures of dogs make us laugh? Maybe this counts
A world without coins "Chaos"
Interesting little piece of trivia. If you go to a wedding and either/both the bride or the groom smashes the wedding cake into the other during the cake ceremony, then the odds of divorce have just doubled. FWIW, psychologists basically think it shows underlying issues between the couple.
U.S. Type Set
Cheers, RickO
U.S. Type Set
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
When my one of my cousins got married they agreed not to smash cake into each others face. She smashed the cake in his face anyway. He was very mad. The marriage did not last very long.