The forum needs a little humor.

SkyMan · December 28, 2020 9:52AM

1630Boston · December 28, 2020 10:05AM

1630Boston · December 28, 2020 10:11AM

1630Boston · December 28, 2020 10:13AM

https://youtu.be/-rONWRavCc8

WillieBoyd2 · December 28, 2020 2:36PM

News headlines:

Girls Scouts accuse Boy Scouts of poaching members

BuffaloIronTail · December 28, 2020 6:57PM

Tis the Season?

Pete

1630Boston · December 28, 2020 7:40PM

1630Boston · December 28, 2020 8:05PM

Aotearoa · December 28, 2020 8:55PM

Off target?

jkrk · December 29, 2020 9:41AM

SEEING HOW SOME PEOPLE WEAR THEIR MASKS, I NOW
I UNDERSTAND HOW CONTRACEPTIVES FAIL.

jkrk · December 29, 2020 9:55AM

A very elderly couple is having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary.
The old man leans forward and says softly to his wife, “Dear, there is something that I must ask you. It has always bothered me that our tenth child never quite looked like the rest of our children. Now I want to assure you that these 75 years have been the most wonderful experience I could have ever hoped for, and your answer cannot take that all that away. But, I must know, did he have a different father?”
The wife drops her head, unable to look her husband in the eye, she paused for a moment and then confessed. “Yes. Yes he did.”
The old man is very shaken, the reality of what his wife was admitting hit him harder than he had expected. With a tear in his eye he asks “Who? Who was he? Who was the father?”
Again the old woman drops her head, saying nothing at first as she tried to muster the courage to tell the truth to her husband.
Then, finally, she says, “You.”

marcmoish · December 29, 2020 10:36AM

“Doctor, I think my wife is getting hard of hearing.”

“There’s a simple test you can run to see how bad the problem is: Start out 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone say something and see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.”

That evening, the man’s wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he’s in the living room. In a normal tone, he asks, “Honey, what’s for supper?”

No response.

So he moves to the other end of the room and repeats, “Honey, what’s for supper?” Still no response. Next, he moves into the dining room. “Honey, what’s for supper?” No response, so he walks up to the kitchen door. “Honey, what’s for supper?” Again, there is no response, so he walks right up behind her. “Honey, what’s for supper?”

“For the fifth time, Harry, CHICKEN!”

marcmoish · December 29, 2020 10:39AM

Father buys a lie detector that makes a loud beep whenever somebody tells a lie.
The son comes home in the afternoon. Father asks him, “So, you were at school today, right?”
Son: “Yeah.”
Detector: “Beep.“
Son: “OK, OK, I was at the movies.”
Detector: “Beep.”
Son: “Alright, I went for a beer with my friends.”
Father: “What?! At your age, I wouldn’t touch alcohol!“
Detector: “Beep.”
Mother laughs: “Ha! He really is your son!”
Detector: “Beep.”

1630Boston · December 29, 2020 11:35AM

BuffaloIronTail · December 29, 2020 12:50PM

Pete

nwcoast · December 29, 2020 1:30PM

Attumra · December 29, 2020 4:20PM

here

Oldhoopster · December 29, 2020 5:13PM

Dave99B · December 29, 2020 5:20PM

Dave

marcmoish · December 29, 2020 8:21PM

emeraldATV · December 29, 2020 11:01PM

That class room is GOLDEN...
Thanks, I needed that ... Some great laughs in, here.
Burp !

CCGGG · December 30, 2020 6:44AM

@Oldhoopster said:

Actually, that's "right"....

SkyMan · December 30, 2020 10:00AM

Conjoined twins walk into a bar in Canada and park themselves on a bar

stool. One of them says to the bartender, "Don't mind us; we're joined

at the hip. I'm John, he's Jim. Two Molson Canadian beers, draft

please."

The bartender, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite

conversation while pouring the beers. "Been on vacation yet, fellas?"

"Off to England next month," says John. "We go to England every year,

rent a car, and drive for miles and miles, don't we, Jim?"

Jim nods. "Ah, England!" says the bartender. "Wonderful country...the

history, the culture, and especially the beer"

"Nah, we don't like that British crap," says John. "Hamburgers and

Molson's beer, that's for us, eh Jim? And we can't stand the English

people, they're so arrogant and rude."

"So why keep going to England?" asks the bartender.

John replies: "Gives Jim a chance to drive."

thefinn · December 30, 2020 10:34AM

Masculinity

@CoinJunkie said:

@ms70 said:
Olives on Eggs Benedict? That's the most outrageous thing I've ever seen posted on this forum.

That's a variation called Eggs Benedict Arnold.

Don't shoot 'til you see the whites of their eyes...

CoinJunkie · December 30, 2020 11:03AM

@thefinn said:

@CoinJunkie said:

@ms70 said:
Olives on Eggs Benedict? That's the most outrageous thing I've ever seen posted on this forum.

That's a variation called Eggs Benedict Arnold.

Don't shoot 'til you see the whites of their eyes...

Is that supposed to be a yolk?

ricko · December 30, 2020 11:17AM

~ When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?

~ I don’t mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited.

~ When I ask for directions, please don’t use words like “east.”

~ It’s the start of a brand new day, and I’m off like a herd of turtles.

~ Don’t bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That’ll freak you right out.

~ That moment when you walk into a spider web suddenly turns you into a karate master.

Cheers, RickO

ricko · December 30, 2020 11:19AM

Cheers, RickO

nickelsciolist · December 30, 2020 11:33AM

Chuck Norris can count to infinity. Twice in one day.
The Dark has to have a nightlight in Chuck Norris's room.
Chuck Norris can run around the block so fast he can kick himself in the butt.

Q: How much would a Chuck Norris "W" Quarter be worth? Just wondering.

1630Boston · December 30, 2020 2:44PM

OKbustchaser · December 30, 2020 3:52PM

@ricko said:
~ When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?

~ I don’t mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited.

~ When I ask for directions, please don’t use words like “east.”

~ It’s the start of a brand new day, and I’m off like a herd of turtles.

~ Don’t bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That’ll freak you right out.

~ That moment when you walk into a spider web suddenly turns you into a karate master.

Cheers, RickO

Agree with most, but when I ask for directions PLEASE use words like "east" Things like "turn at the white house with green shutters" absolutely drive me nuts--especially after dark.

ms70 · December 30, 2020 4:46PM

....

ms70 · December 30, 2020 4:47PM

1630Boston · December 30, 2020 5:19PM

marcmoish · December 30, 2020 5:49PM

marcmoish · December 30, 2020 5:49PM

1630Boston · December 30, 2020 5:52PM

1Mike1 · December 30, 2020 7:11PM

@1630Boston said:

When she's seen it for the thousandth time...

bearcave · December 30, 2020 7:18PM

1630Boston · December 30, 2020 7:53PM

ms70 · December 30, 2020 7:58PM

@1630Boston said:

And running through her head is, "How the hell do I get out of here?"

emeraldATV · December 31, 2020 12:51AM

If a water utility service merges with a sewer utility service, what is the end product?
Who knows, butt, I'm out of there, if that's my only choice.

1630Boston · December 31, 2020 4:38AM

I'd be outta there too @emeraldATV

bearcave · December 31, 2020 4:58AM

1630Boston · December 31, 2020 5:39AM

ricko · December 31, 2020 6:17AM

Cheers, RickO

marcmoish · December 31, 2020 8:31AM

Remember, at 12:01 on Jan 1, for the first time ever, hindsight will be 2020.

marcmoish · December 31, 2020 8:32AM

@emeraldATV said:
If a water utility service merges with a sewer utility service, what is the end product?
Who knows, butt, I'm out of there, if that's my only choice.

did you spell but, butt for any specific reason?

AFAF

1630Boston · December 31, 2020 9:14AM

DNADave · December 31, 2020 10:36AM

What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

Ones a little heavier and ones a little lighter.

1630Boston · December 31, 2020 10:50AM

The forum needs a little humor.

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