There's this blonde.
She gets on a plane and sits in the first available seat.
The flight attendant is coming around checking tickets.
She looks at the blonde woman's ticket and tells the blonde; "ma'am you can't sit here, your ticket says coach and this is first class please move to the back of the plane"
The blonde replies "I'm a blonde, I'm smart and have a good job. I'm not moving until the plane arrives in Jamaica"
So the flight attendant, now hot under the collar at the blonde's response, goes to another flight attendant and tells him what happened.
So he goes up to her and asks her to move to the back of the plane.
She then responds "I'm a blonde, I'm smart and have a good job. I'm not moving until the plane arrives in Jamaica".
So the two flight attendants are steaming mad and they go to the co-pilot and tells him what is going on.
He comes back to where the blonde is sitting and leans over and whispers something in her ear.
The two flight attendants were astonished when the blonde abruptly got up from her seat and moved to the back of the plane.
They looked at each other and then the co-pilot and asked him what he told her.
The co-pilot, feeling good about himself told them "oh, this happened a while back with someone else.
I just simply told the woman that the front half of the plane wasn't going to Jamaica".
You know you are getting old when...............Your wife yells, "Lets run upstairs and make love" Your answer to her is............... " I can do one but I can't do both"!
A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab and notices that the
very handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why
he is staring. He replies, "I have a question to ask you, but I don't
want to offend you." She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me.
When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you
get a chance to
see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you
could say or ask that I would find offensive."
"Well," the cabbie says, "I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss
me." She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that. Number
one, you have to be single and number two, you must be Catholic." The
cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!"
"Okay," the nun says. " Pull into the next alley." The nun fulfills
his fantasy with a passionate kiss. But when they get back on the
road, the cab driver starts crying. "My dear child," said the nun,
"why are you crying?"
"Forgive me for I have sinned. I lied and I must confess: I'm married
and I'm Jewish."
The nun says, "That's okay. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a
Halloween party."
@SkyMan said:
A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab and notices that the
very handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why
he is staring. He replies, "I have a question to ask you, but I don't
want to offend you." She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me.
When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you
get a chance to
see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you
could say or ask that I would find offensive."
"Well," the cabbie says, "I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss
me." She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that. Number
one, you have to be single and number two, you must be Catholic." The
cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!"
"Okay," the nun says. " Pull into the next alley." The nun fulfills
his fantasy with a passionate kiss. But when they get back on the
road, the cab driver starts crying. "My dear child," said the nun,
"why are you crying?"
"Forgive me for I have sinned. I lied and I must confess: I'm married
and I'm Jewish."
The nun says, "That's okay. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a
Halloween party."
"How was your blind date?" a college student asked her roommate.
"Terrible!" the roommate answered. "He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce."
"Wow! That's a very expensive car. What's so bad about that?"
"He was the original owner!"
A guy is 86 years old and loves to fish.He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say,
"Pick me up."
He looked around and couldn't see any one. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again,
"Pick me up." He looked in the water and there, floating on the top was a frog.
The man said, "Are you talking to me?"
The frog said, "Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up.
Then, kiss me and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you haveever seen.
I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because you will have me as your bride."
The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front breast pocket.
Then the frog said, "What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said?
I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride."
He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said,
"Nah, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog."
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of real alligator shoes in the worst way, but she didn't want to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the 'no haggle' attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, 'Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!' The shopkeeper said, 'By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!' Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist-deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, 'Darn, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!'
The IRS suspected a fishing boat owner wasn't paying proper wages to his Deckhand and sent an agent to investigate him.
IRS AUDITOR: "I need a list of your employees
and how much you pay them".
Boat Owner: "Well, there's Clarence, my deckhand,
he's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $1,000 a week
plus free room and board.
Then there's the mentally challenged guy.
He works about 18 hours every day
and does about 90% of the work around here.
He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of Bacardi rum and a dozen Budweiser's every Saturday night so he can cope with life.
He also gets to sleep with my wife occasionally".
IRS AUDITOR: "That's the guy I want to talk to -
the mentally challenged one".
Boat Owner: "That would be me.
What would you like to know"?
Older woman, really older, feeling poorly goes to doctor. Doctor, diagnoses and pronounces that she is with child. Woman, really upset, phones husband and says, "You horny old man, you have got me pregnant." Husband holding phone says, "who is this?"
@ricko said:
The IRS suspected a fishing boat owner wasn't paying proper wages to his Deckhand and sent an agent to investigate him.
IRS AUDITOR: "I need a list of your employees
and how much you pay them".
Boat Owner: "Well, there's Clarence, my deckhand,
he's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $1,000 a week
plus free room and board.
Then there's the mentally challenged guy.
He works about 18 hours every day
and does about 90% of the work around here.
He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of Bacardi rum and a dozen Budweiser's every Saturday night so he can cope with life.
He also gets to sleep with my wife occasionally".
IRS AUDITOR: "That's the guy I want to talk to -
the mentally challenged one".
Boat Owner: "That would be me.
What would you like to know"?
Also have been doing some census work; an old cartoon and a Scientific American cover on the census:
Caption: Filling up the census paper. Wife of his bosum. "Upon my word, Mr Peewitt! Is this the way you fill up your census paper? Call yourself the 'Head of the family' - do you - and me a female!"
Comments
Imagine that pair of tidy whities being worn by a super sized Baby Huey!!!!
Why can't blondes take coffee breaks?
It cost too much to re-train.
There's this blonde.
She gets on a plane and sits in the first available seat.
The flight attendant is coming around checking tickets.
She looks at the blonde woman's ticket and tells the blonde; "ma'am you can't sit here, your ticket says coach and this is first class please move to the back of the plane"
The blonde replies "I'm a blonde, I'm smart and have a good job. I'm not moving until the plane arrives in Jamaica"
So the flight attendant, now hot under the collar at the blonde's response, goes to another flight attendant and tells him what happened.
So he goes up to her and asks her to move to the back of the plane.
She then responds "I'm a blonde, I'm smart and have a good job. I'm not moving until the plane arrives in Jamaica".
So the two flight attendants are steaming mad and they go to the co-pilot and tells him what is going on.
He comes back to where the blonde is sitting and leans over and whispers something in her ear.
The two flight attendants were astonished when the blonde abruptly got up from her seat and moved to the back of the plane.
They looked at each other and then the co-pilot and asked him what he told her.
The co-pilot, feeling good about himself told them "oh, this happened a while back with someone else.
I just simply told the woman that the front half of the plane wasn't going to Jamaica".
BST transactions: dbldie55, jayPem, 78saen, UltraHighRelief, nibanny, liefgold, FallGuy, lkeigwin, mbogoman, Sandman70gt, keets, joeykoins, ianrussell (@GC), EagleEye, ThePennyLady, GRANDAM, Ilikecolor, Gluggo, okiedude, Voyageur, LJenkins11, fastfreddie, ms70, pursuitofliberty, ZoidMeister,Coin Finder, GotTheBug, edwardjulio, Coinnmore, Nickpatton, Namvet69,...
During a recent audit by a company, it was found that an employee was using the following password:
"MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento"
When asked why she had such a long password, she rolled her eyes and said: "Hello! It has to be at least 8 characters and include one capital."
BST transactions: dbldie55, jayPem, 78saen, UltraHighRelief, nibanny, liefgold, FallGuy, lkeigwin, mbogoman, Sandman70gt, keets, joeykoins, ianrussell (@GC), EagleEye, ThePennyLady, GRANDAM, Ilikecolor, Gluggo, okiedude, Voyageur, LJenkins11, fastfreddie, ms70, pursuitofliberty, ZoidMeister,Coin Finder, GotTheBug, edwardjulio, Coinnmore, Nickpatton, Namvet69,...
Was she blonde?
How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer?
White out on the screen.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh
@CoinscratchFever
Not the place. In fact, there probably isn’t a place for that.
Smitten with DBLCs.
Well, there are a lot more than I ever realized.
You know you are getting old when...............Your wife yells, "Lets run upstairs and make love" Your answer to her is............... " I can do one but I can't do both"!
Pete
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb, Ricko
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
"Doctor, my back has been bothering me"
The Mysterious Egyptian Magic Coin
Coins in Movies
Coins on Television
Removed for questionable content as per medical control.
A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab and notices that the
very handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why
he is staring. He replies, "I have a question to ask you, but I don't
want to offend you." She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me.
When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you
get a chance to
see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you
could say or ask that I would find offensive."
"Well," the cabbie says, "I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss
me." She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that. Number
one, you have to be single and number two, you must be Catholic." The
cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!"
"Okay," the nun says. " Pull into the next alley." The nun fulfills
his fantasy with a passionate kiss. But when they get back on the
road, the cab driver starts crying. "My dear child," said the nun,
"why are you crying?"
"Forgive me for I have sinned. I lied and I must confess: I'm married
and I'm Jewish."
The nun says, "That's okay. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a
Halloween party."
U.S. Type Set
I lol
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb, Ricko
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
...The nun says, "That's okay. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party."
BST transactions: dbldie55, jayPem, 78saen, UltraHighRelief, nibanny, liefgold, FallGuy, lkeigwin, mbogoman, Sandman70gt, keets, joeykoins, ianrussell (@GC), EagleEye, ThePennyLady, GRANDAM, Ilikecolor, Gluggo, okiedude, Voyageur, LJenkins11, fastfreddie, ms70, pursuitofliberty, ZoidMeister,Coin Finder, GotTheBug, edwardjulio, Coinnmore, Nickpatton, Namvet69,...
My wife is off work today and I was hanging around. She said that our 13 year old could use my office for online school starting tomorrow.
I actually had to say that " I do work. It's just the summer (coin) slowdown"
No way I give up my mancave.
We are all being good here boss.
OK, he's gone
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb, Ricko
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
Music for gold bug collectors when handling a gold coin ...
https://youtube.com/watch?v=ViaxNQvQUm8
"How was your blind date?" a college student asked her roommate.
"Terrible!" the roommate answered. "He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce."
"Wow! That's a very expensive car. What's so bad about that?"
"He was the original owner!"
Cheers, RickO
A guy is 86 years old and loves to fish.He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say,
"Pick me up."
He looked around and couldn't see any one. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again,
"Pick me up." He looked in the water and there, floating on the top was a frog.
The man said, "Are you talking to me?"
The frog said, "Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up.
Then, kiss me and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you haveever seen.
I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because you will have me as your bride."
The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front breast pocket.
Then the frog said, "What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said?
I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride."
He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said,
"Nah, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog."
Cheers, RickO
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb, Ricko
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb, Ricko
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
As the crowded elevator descended, Mrs. Simpson became too furious with her husband, who was delighted to be pressed against a gorgeous blonde.
As the elevator stopped at the main floor, the blonde suddenly whirled, slapped Mr. Simpson, and said, "That will teach you to pinch!"
Bewildered, Mr. Simpson was halfway to the parking lot with his wife when he choked, "I...I...didn't pinch that girl."
"Of course you didn't" said his wife, consolingly. "I did."
I'm also seeing many versions of these sales around my neighborhood, so it piqued my interest, considering some options and wondering if its tax free?
Pete
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of real alligator shoes in the worst way, but she didn't want to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the 'no haggle' attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, 'Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!' The shopkeeper said, 'By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!' Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist-deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, 'Darn, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!'
The IRS suspected a fishing boat owner wasn't paying proper wages to his Deckhand and sent an agent to investigate him.
IRS AUDITOR: "I need a list of your employees
and how much you pay them".
Boat Owner: "Well, there's Clarence, my deckhand,
he's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $1,000 a week
plus free room and board.
Then there's the mentally challenged guy.
He works about 18 hours every day
and does about 90% of the work around here.
He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of Bacardi rum and a dozen Budweiser's every Saturday night so he can cope with life.
He also gets to sleep with my wife occasionally".
IRS AUDITOR: "That's the guy I want to talk to -
the mentally challenged one".
Boat Owner: "That would be me.
What would you like to know"?
Cheers, RickO
Reminds me of some fatherly advice,
If it flys, floats, or the other f thing, rent it.
My wife won’t open her mouth until she has her first cup of coffee…so I hid the coffee.
BST transactions: dbldie55, jayPem, 78saen, UltraHighRelief, nibanny, liefgold, FallGuy, lkeigwin, mbogoman, Sandman70gt, keets, joeykoins, ianrussell (@GC), EagleEye, ThePennyLady, GRANDAM, Ilikecolor, Gluggo, okiedude, Voyageur, LJenkins11, fastfreddie, ms70, pursuitofliberty, ZoidMeister,Coin Finder, GotTheBug, edwardjulio, Coinnmore, Nickpatton, Namvet69,...
When talking about a new girlfriend my dad would always ask me, "Does she have the 3 Shuns".
What are those dad?
Location.
Transportation.
Occupation.
Older woman, really older, feeling poorly goes to doctor. Doctor, diagnoses and pronounces that she is with child. Woman, really upset, phones husband and says, "You horny old man, you have got me pregnant." Husband holding phone says, "who is this?"
Also have been doing some census work; an old cartoon and a Scientific American cover on the census:
Caption: Filling up the census paper. Wife of his bosum. "Upon my word, Mr Peewitt! Is this the way you fill up your census paper? Call yourself the 'Head of the family' - do you - and me a female!"
I was an ugly baby, my mother breast me through a straw.
I was an ugly child, my mother used to feed me with a slingshot.
BST transactions: dbldie55, jayPem, 78saen, UltraHighRelief, nibanny, liefgold, FallGuy, lkeigwin, mbogoman, Sandman70gt, keets, joeykoins, ianrussell (@GC), EagleEye, ThePennyLady, GRANDAM, Ilikecolor, Gluggo, okiedude, Voyageur, LJenkins11, fastfreddie, ms70, pursuitofliberty, ZoidMeister,Coin Finder, GotTheBug, edwardjulio, Coinnmore, Nickpatton, Namvet69,...
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb, Ricko
Bad transactions with : nobody to date