Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard
talking at the zoo one day.
"My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy.
"Tommy," replied the second.
"My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?"
asked Billy.
Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer."
"Honest?" asked Billy.
"No, just the regular kind", replied Tommy.
Hey, Smudge. Are you trying to get this thread shut down?
Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe.
"Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value---zero."----Voltaire
"Everything you say should be true, but not everything true should be said."----Voltaire
“Doctor, I think my wife is getting hard of hearing.”
“There’s a simple test you can run to see how bad the problem is: Start out 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone say something and see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.”
That evening, the man’s wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he’s in the living room. In a normal tone, he asks, “Honey, what’s for supper?”
No response.
So he moves to the other end of the room and repeats, “Honey, what’s for supper?” Still no response. Next, he moves into the dining room. “Honey, what’s for supper?” No response, so he walks up to the kitchen door. “Honey, what’s for supper?” Again, there is no response, so he walks right up behind her. “Honey, what’s for supper?”
A woman ran a red traffic light and crashed into a man's car. Both of their cars are demolished, but amazingly neither of them was hurt. After they crawled out of their cars, the woman said: "Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately, we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days.The man replied, "I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished, but my bottle of 75-year-old scotch didn't break. Surely God meant for us to drink this vintage delicacy and celebrate our good fortune." Then she handed the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opened it, drank half the bottle, and then handed it back to the woman. The woman took the bottle, immediately put the cap back on, and handed it back to the man.The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"She replies, "Nah. I think I'll just wait for the police."
Some years ago Adam ate the apple. Will men never learn!
Cheers, RickO
Don't despair. I believe at least 7 of us have gone thru the wrath of the watchers, couldn't delete a post fast enough after hitting send or/and had it removed by central command.
Don't despair. I believe at least 7 of us have gone thru the wrath of the watchers, couldn't delete a post fast enough after hitting send or/and had it removed by central command.
I am positive none of us had any bad intentions.
This is one damn good bunch here all in all.
I hate the self appointed forum police but an X rated joke will get this thread shut down. I really like this thread and want to keep it going. Smudge's joke was actually really funny but this is not the right venue for it.
Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe.
"Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value---zero."----Voltaire
"Everything you say should be true, but not everything true should be said."----Voltaire
Paranoia is out of control: This morning, while reviewing this thread, I sneezed in front of my laptop and the anti-virus software started a scan of its own!
Numismatist. 50 year member ANA. Winner of four ANA Heath Literary Awards; three Wayte and Olga Raymond Literary Awards; Numismatist of the Year Award 2009, and Lifetime Achievement Award 2020. Winner numerous NLG Literary Awards.
I was in a shopping mall with my wife and LOST her. I looked for an hour and couldn't find her anywhere! I spotted this GORGEOUS blond standing by herself and went to her, I said just talk to me a couple minutes. She said to me "Why do I need to talk to you a couple minutes?" Because my wife shows up within a couple of minutes when I talk to a beautiful woman.
An American tourist in London decided to skip his tour group
and explore the city on his own. He wandered around, seeing
the sights, and occasionally stopping at a quaint pub to soak
up the local culture, chat with the lads, and have a pint of
Guinness.
After awhile, he found himself in a very high class neighborhood.....
big, stately residences... no pubs, no stores, no restaurants,
and worst of all... NO PUBLIC RESTROOMS.
He really, really had to go, after all those pints of Guinnesss.
He found a narrow side street, with high walls surrounding the
adjacent buildings and decided to use the wall to solve his
problem.
As he was unzipping, he was tapped on the shoulder by a
London bobbie, who said, "I say, sir, you simply cannot do
that here, you know."
"I'm very sorry, officer," replied the American, "but I really,
really HAVE TO GO, and I just can't find a public restroom."
"Ah, yes," said the Bobbie..."Just follow me".
He led him to a back "delivery alley", then along a wall to
a gate which he opened.
"In there," pointed the Bobbie. "Whiz away,... anywhere
you want."
The fellow entered and found himself in the most beautiful
garden he had ever seen -- manicured grass lawns, statuary,
fountains, sculptured hedges, and huge beds of gorgeous
flowers, all in perfect bloom.
Since he had the cop's blessing, he zipped down and
unburdened himself and was greatly relieved. As he went back
through the gate, he said to the bobbie, "That was really decent
of you .... is that "British Hospitality?".
"No" replied the Bobbie, with a satisfied smile on his face,
"that is the French Embassy.
Comments
Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard
talking at the zoo one day.
"My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy.
"Tommy," replied the second.
"My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?"
asked Billy.
Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer."
"Honest?" asked Billy.
"No, just the regular kind", replied Tommy.
U.S. Type Set
A man has been ill for some time. Fearing that his end is near, he calls his wife to his bedside.
"I have a last wish," he says to her. "Promise me that two months after I die, you'll marry our neighbor, Ken."
The wife is perplexed. "But darling, I thought you hated Ken," she asks him.
"I do," replied the man.
Pete
DELETE SORRY.
Hey, Smudge. Are you trying to get this thread shut down?
Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe.
"Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value---zero."----Voltaire
"Everything you say should be true, but not everything true should be said."----Voltaire
Better now?
“Doctor, I think my wife is getting hard of hearing.”
“There’s a simple test you can run to see how bad the problem is: Start out 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone say something and see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.”
That evening, the man’s wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he’s in the living room. In a normal tone, he asks, “Honey, what’s for supper?”
No response.
So he moves to the other end of the room and repeats, “Honey, what’s for supper?” Still no response. Next, he moves into the dining room. “Honey, what’s for supper?” No response, so he walks up to the kitchen door. “Honey, what’s for supper?” Again, there is no response, so he walks right up behind her. “Honey, what’s for supper?”
“For the fifth time, Harry, CHICKEN!”
Here's a warning parable for coin collectors...
😮
A woman ran a red traffic light and crashed into a man's car. Both of their cars are demolished, but amazingly neither of them was hurt. After they crawled out of their cars, the woman said: "Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately, we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days.The man replied, "I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished, but my bottle of 75-year-old scotch didn't break. Surely God meant for us to drink this vintage delicacy and celebrate our good fortune." Then she handed the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opened it, drank half the bottle, and then handed it back to the woman. The woman took the bottle, immediately put the cap back on, and handed it back to the man.The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"She replies, "Nah. I think I'll just wait for the police."
Some years ago Adam ate the apple. Will men never learn!
Cheers, RickO
Don't despair. I believe at least 7 of us have gone thru the wrath of the watchers, couldn't delete a post fast enough after hitting send or/and had it removed by central command.
I am positive none of us had any bad intentions.
This is one damn good bunch here all in all.
I hate the self appointed forum police but an X rated joke will get this thread shut down. I really like this thread and want to keep it going. Smudge's joke was actually really funny but this is not the right venue for it.
Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe.
"Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value---zero."----Voltaire
"Everything you say should be true, but not everything true should be said."----Voltaire
Yeah, Smudge, don't blow it!!
Ok. No comment needed.
He's just upset that he still doesn't know whats in the bag.
My kids are still trying to figure it out too.
You think coin counterfeits are hard to identify !
https://www.imperialgunnery.com/lightsabers?cf_chl_jschl_tk=0c70a66d124f7913b553ba5eb31f0c9947bfa34e-1597019624-0-ATK9NQCCsWU5m1n6Li-7eu1MYa3lZkCPUVo8Q0GXdKRPEq0deoRXi7v5zYHH0v4_elBl7X2Er9H3wNXeYICBXjXdJ4xJ7iBrYzTykSurKR0_NV9ogkp7DRDfSQADeZnFDxwPUUKgbZ4rw-PTN08gBiOVhJAyUfElk9e-LNpAemzC7JvRoyPo5jxV9iqqHzguriSvgfQIraeCDncCtzBSmnhulEetHDi-aXAFhNFayoAZmUYjH7pH1mNunR_egJjWHRDgY3qg_UPWgw6Hoe4tlB2hwq9L0gVaVlUU12FdKFpS
No, I just mind my own business.
Pete
@Smudge.... You could PM me that joke....having trouble sleeping since I did not see it....
Cheers, RickO
Done.
Paranoia is out of control: This morning, while reviewing this thread, I sneezed in front of my laptop and the anti-virus software started a scan of its own!
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish.
The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home.
The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family.
The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."
In dog Beer's I've only had one.
\&&&&&&&/ Pretzels!
\66666666/ Shrimp!
********/ Popcorn!
^<>^ ^<>^ Hot steamed Maryland blue crabs : )
_><{{{{">_/ Whole Fish Soup!!
[Notice how the eyes follow you around the room!]
[::] [::] [::] [::] Fig Newtons
(#) (#) (#) Warm Peanut butter cookies
--------/ Chicken soup for all your sick friends
(@) (@) (@) Fresh Cinnamon Rolls!
OooOOoOooO Onion rings
[:::] [:::] [:::] French toast sticks with powdered sugar
=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D# Celery
__/ __/ Chinese Take Out
\ ) ) ) ) ) / (~) Chips and Dip
@ () () (_) Chocolate Chip cookies and Moo juice
(|=3D=3D=3D|)(|=3D=3D=3D|) Hot dogs
(m) (m) () () M&M's and Koolaid
o o o o o Single AND O O O O O Double Stuff Oreos!
<) <) <) <) <) Pizza!
c() c() Steaming mugs of hot cocoa!
[|||]D [|||]D Root Beer!
()D ()D Freshly brewed coffee!
[]D []D Ice cold beer!
[Y] [Y] Champagne!
\%/ Martini!
U.S. Type Set
ASCII no questions, I'll tell you no lies.
a=a-a;
\ ¯_(ツ)_/¯
Pacific Northwest Numismatic Association
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me 2 please
This is some funny stuff being posted!
I was in a shopping mall with my wife and LOST her. I looked for an hour and couldn't find her anywhere! I spotted this GORGEOUS blond standing by herself and went to her, I said just talk to me a couple minutes. She said to me "Why do I need to talk to you a couple minutes?" Because my wife shows up within a couple of minutes when I talk to a beautiful woman.
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
hey that's mine from week 2 or week 8 of pandemic, me thinks....
We might need to start a source/ reference catalog
American Tourist in London
An American tourist in London decided to skip his tour group
and explore the city on his own. He wandered around, seeing
the sights, and occasionally stopping at a quaint pub to soak
up the local culture, chat with the lads, and have a pint of
Guinness.
After awhile, he found himself in a very high class neighborhood.....
big, stately residences... no pubs, no stores, no restaurants,
and worst of all... NO PUBLIC RESTROOMS.
He really, really had to go, after all those pints of Guinnesss.
He found a narrow side street, with high walls surrounding the
adjacent buildings and decided to use the wall to solve his
problem.
As he was unzipping, he was tapped on the shoulder by a
London bobbie, who said, "I say, sir, you simply cannot do
that here, you know."
"I'm very sorry, officer," replied the American, "but I really,
really HAVE TO GO, and I just can't find a public restroom."
"Ah, yes," said the Bobbie..."Just follow me".
He led him to a back "delivery alley", then along a wall to
a gate which he opened.
"In there," pointed the Bobbie. "Whiz away,... anywhere
you want."
The fellow entered and found himself in the most beautiful
garden he had ever seen -- manicured grass lawns, statuary,
fountains, sculptured hedges, and huge beds of gorgeous
flowers, all in perfect bloom.
Since he had the cop's blessing, he zipped down and
unburdened himself and was greatly relieved. As he went back
through the gate, he said to the bobbie, "That was really decent
of you .... is that "British Hospitality?".
"No" replied the Bobbie, with a satisfied smile on his face,
"that is the French Embassy.
U.S. Type Set
Pete
Do you know how many of my gifs, jokes have been reposted by others? Probably 20 just this year.
No one remembers what was posted months ago.
I'm sure you've done it many times
Relax, none of us invented these jokes. In fact I've heard most of yours in junior high.
hahaha - totally correct on all counts.
But hey relax, It was all overall in jest
The Mysterious Egyptian Magic Coin
Coins in Movies
Coins on Television
A very prestigious cardiologist died and was given a very elaborate funeral by the hospital he had worked at for most of his life...
A huge heart... covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service as all the doctors from the hospital sat in awe.
Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside.
The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.
At that point, one of the mourners just burst into laughter.
When all eyes stared at him, he said, I'm so sorry I was just thinking of my own funeral..... I'm a gynecologist!
BST transactions: dbldie55, jayPem, 78saen, UltraHighRelief, nibanny, liefgold, FallGuy, lkeigwin, mbogoman, Sandman70gt, keets, joeykoins, ianrussell (@GC), EagleEye, ThePennyLady, GRANDAM, Ilikecolor, Gluggo, okiedude, Voyageur, LJenkins11, fastfreddie, ms70, pursuitofliberty, ZoidMeister,Coin Finder, GotTheBug, edwardjulio, Coinnmore, Nickpatton, Namvet69,...
You forgot the proctologist.
Now you've gone beyond the limits of good taste.
Great transactions with oih82w8, JasonGaming, Moose1913.
If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
BST transactions: dbldie55, jayPem, 78saen, UltraHighRelief, nibanny, liefgold, FallGuy, lkeigwin, mbogoman, Sandman70gt, keets, joeykoins, ianrussell (@GC), EagleEye, ThePennyLady, GRANDAM, Ilikecolor, Gluggo, okiedude, Voyageur, LJenkins11, fastfreddie, ms70, pursuitofliberty, ZoidMeister,Coin Finder, GotTheBug, edwardjulio, Coinnmore, Nickpatton, Namvet69,...
Speaking of middle school and the Lone Ranger, there's this classic:
The Lone Ranger and Tonto are suddenly and unexpectedly surrounded by thousands of hostile Indians:
Lone Ranger: "Well, I guess we're in trouble now, Tonto."
Tonto: "What you mean 'we', white man?"
Here's a warning parable for coin collectors...