A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins: “When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First Communion.”
“I found a bear by the stream,” says the minister, “and preached God’s holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.”
They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. “Looking back,” he says, “maybe I shouldn’t have started with the circumcision.”
Cheers, RickO
A woman is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes she’s lost. She spots a man down below and shouts, “Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?”
The man below says, “Yes, you’re in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field.”
“You must work in Information Technology,” says the balloonist.
“I do,” replies the man. “How did you know?”
“Everything you have told me is technically correct, and yet it’s of no use to anyone.”
The man below says, “You must work in management.”
“I do. How did you know?”
“Well, you don’t know where you are, or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help; and you’re in the same position as you were before we met, but now it’s my fault.”
Cheers, RickO
@ms70 said:
So if that plane is flying at 1mph UNDER the speed of sound, and you run from the back to the front at 3mph, are you breaking the sound barrier OR being the first to travel faster than sound WITHOUT breaking the sound barrier?
This was the sort of post that would have led to six months of rejoinders back in the old Open Forum days.
What if you were in the aisle of the plane and jumped up in the air......would you be slammed into the cockpit door?
@ms70 said:
So if that plane is flying at 1mph UNDER the speed of sound, and you run from the back to the front at 3mph, are you breaking the sound barrier OR being the first to travel faster than sound WITHOUT breaking the sound barrier?
This was the sort of post that would have led to six months of rejoinders back in the old Open Forum days.
What if you were in the aisle of the plane and jumped up in the air......would you be slammed into the cockpit door?
(If the physics even worked that way) the aircraft would have to be flying backwards.
@ms70 said:
So if that plane is flying at 1mph UNDER the speed of sound, and you run from the back to the front at 3mph, are you breaking the sound barrier OR being the first to travel faster than sound WITHOUT breaking the sound barrier?
This was the sort of post that would have led to six months of rejoinders back in the old Open Forum days.
What if you were in the aisle of the plane and jumped up in the air......would you be slammed into the cockpit door?
Seriously though
.
Hopefully it's obvious to you that when standing (or sitting) on the plane, your velocity is equal to that of the plane. The next step is to understand that when you jump up in the plane, you don't "lose" that velocity, i.e. your velocity doesn't suddenly go to zero. Newton's First Law.
Hypothetically, if the plane flew at a rapid acceleration (increasing velocity over time), you indeed could "fly to the back of the plane".
What would happen is that at the instant you jump up, your horizontal velocity is equal to the plane's velocity. But over time, your horizontal velocity remains constant, while the plane's velocity increases rapidly. Thus you fly to the back of the plane and thump.
In real life, the plane is in a mostly constant velocity. Your velocity in the air will be the same as that of the plane.
Actually, when the plane is in takeoff, its velocity is increasing, i.e. it's accelerating. So if you don't stay in your seat like you're supposed to, and jump in the aisle, then you actually might fly to the back of the plane (or move backwards at least somewhat).
Newton's First Law also explains why jumping up in an elevator doesn't make you "float" in it.
Newton's First Law also explains why jumping up in an elevator doesn't make you "float" in it.
Actually, that's due to gravity. Jumping in a hypothetical elevator in outer space would result in bumping your head on the ceiling. But we're getting seriously OT now.
By the same token, since the earth is rotating at approximately 460 meters per second why can't I do a 5K race in 11seconds merely by jumping up and down 5 times?
Assuming, of course, that the track goes east to west.
Just because I'm old doesn't mean I don't love to look at a pretty bust.
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them gets bit by a rattlesnake in his private parts The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services, and explains the situation. The operator says " take your pocketknife and make a small 'X' incision over the bite, then suck out the venom." The guy with the bite says, "what did she say?' His friend said, "she said you're going to die".
@ms70 said:
So if that plane is flying at 1mph UNDER the speed of sound, and you run from the back to the front at 3mph, are you breaking the sound barrier OR being the first to travel faster than sound WITHOUT breaking the sound barrier?
This was the sort of post that would have led to six months of rejoinders back in the old Open Forum days.
What if you were in the aisle of the plane and jumped up in the air......would you be slammed into the cockpit door?
(If the physics even worked that way) the aircraft would have to be flying backwards.
You’re correct.....kinda scary, I used to be a pilot as well, should have known that one.
@ms70 said:
So if that plane is flying at 1mph UNDER the speed of sound, and you run from the back to the front at 3mph, are you breaking the sound barrier OR being the first to travel faster than sound WITHOUT breaking the sound barrier?
This was the sort of post that would have led to six months of rejoinders back in the old Open Forum days.
What if you were in the aisle of the plane and jumped up in the air......would you be slammed into the cockpit door?
Since the virus hit I have been sheltering in place. They barely let me go outside.
Can you refresh my memory and tell me what a plane is?
A guy meets a prostitute in a bar. She says, ‘This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300 as long as you can say it in three words.’
The guy replies, ‘Hey, why not?’ He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays $300 on the bar, and says slowly. ‘Paint…my….house.’
A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial -- it went like this:
Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?
A: No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.
Q: Officer, who provided this description?
A: The officer who responded to the scene.
Q: A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?
A: Yes sir, with my life.
Q: With your life? Let me ask you this then officer, do you have a locker room in the police station, a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?
A: Yes sir, we do.
Q: And do you have a locker in that room?
A: Yes sir, I do.
Q: And do you have a lock on your locker?
A: Yes sir.
Q: Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those officers?
A: You see sir, we share the building with a court complex, and sometimes defense attorneys have been known to walk through that room.
A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. She left anote for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk.When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. Hethought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door toclarify the point. The blonde came to the door and the milkman said,"I found your note asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean2.5 gallons?"
The blonde said, "I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill mybathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young andbeautiful again."
The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?"
The blonde said, "No, just up to my boobs. I can splash it on my eyes."
There was a Mensa convention in San Francisco.
Mensa, as you probably know, is a national organization for people who have an IQ of 140 or higher.
Several of the Mensa members went out for lunch at a local café.
When they sat down, one of them discovered that their salt shaker contained pepper, and their pepper shaker was full of salt.
How could they swap the contents of the two bottles without spilling any, and using only the implements at hand? Clearly, this was a job for Mensa minds.
The group debated the problem and presented ideas and finally, came up with a brilliant solution involving a napkin, a straw, and an empty saucer.
They called the waitress over, ready to dazzle her with their solution.
'Ma'am,' they said, 'we couldn't help but notice that the pepper shaker contains salt and the salt shaker has pepper.'
Before they could finish, the waitress interrupted: 'Oh sorry about that.'
She leaned over the table, unscrewed the caps of both bottles and switched them.
There was dead silence at the Mensa table.
@ricko said:
A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. She left anote for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk.When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. Hethought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door toclarify the point. The blonde came to the door and the milkman said,"I found your note asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean2.5 gallons?"
The blonde said, "I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill mybathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young andbeautiful again."
The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?"
The blonde said, "No, just up to my boobs. I can splash it on my eyes."
Comments
Bill Murray's Funniest Scene Ever Filmed
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or maybe these are?
https://youtu.be/3iBaKbGqlUs
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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins: “When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First Communion.”
“I found a bear by the stream,” says the minister, “and preached God’s holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.”
They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. “Looking back,” he says, “maybe I shouldn’t have started with the circumcision.”
Cheers, RickO
A woman is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes she’s lost. She spots a man down below and shouts, “Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?”
The man below says, “Yes, you’re in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field.”
“You must work in Information Technology,” says the balloonist.
“I do,” replies the man. “How did you know?”
“Everything you have told me is technically correct, and yet it’s of no use to anyone.”
The man below says, “You must work in management.”
“I do. How did you know?”
“Well, you don’t know where you are, or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help; and you’re in the same position as you were before we met, but now it’s my fault.”
Cheers, RickO
Here's a warning parable for coin collectors...
I think he's funny but this scene didn't even make me smile.....
To each his own I guess.🤔
Ok. I'll reserve my judgement then.
What movie is it?
I admit I'm not a big "movie guy"....
Baby steps 🙂
Great movie
That's so dang dumb it's funny.
Smitten with DBLCs.
What if you were in the aisle of the plane and jumped up in the air......would you be slammed into the cockpit door?
Pete
(If the physics even worked that way) the aircraft would have to be flying backwards.
This may help
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Seriously though
.
Hopefully it's obvious to you that when standing (or sitting) on the plane, your velocity is equal to that of the plane. The next step is to understand that when you jump up in the plane, you don't "lose" that velocity, i.e. your velocity doesn't suddenly go to zero. Newton's First Law.
Hypothetically, if the plane flew at a rapid acceleration (increasing velocity over time), you indeed could "fly to the back of the plane".
What would happen is that at the instant you jump up, your horizontal velocity is equal to the plane's velocity. But over time, your horizontal velocity remains constant, while the plane's velocity increases rapidly. Thus you fly to the back of the plane and thump.
In real life, the plane is in a mostly constant velocity. Your velocity in the air will be the same as that of the plane.
Actually, when the plane is in takeoff, its velocity is increasing, i.e. it's accelerating. So if you don't stay in your seat like you're supposed to, and jump in the aisle, then you actually might fly to the back of the plane (or move backwards at least somewhat).
Newton's First Law also explains why jumping up in an elevator doesn't make you "float" in it.
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Actually, that's due to gravity. Jumping in a hypothetical elevator in outer space would result in bumping your head on the ceiling. But we're getting seriously OT now.
Yeah, but doesn't it matter where you're standing when you pull the red tab on the door that says "do not pull this tab"?
By the same token, since the earth is rotating at approximately 460 meters per second why can't I do a 5K race in 11seconds merely by jumping up and down 5 times?
Assuming, of course, that the track goes east to west.
That kid is going to be a mountain climber!
100% Positive BST transactions
Hope he's been to the toilet recently, or it could get ugly for those guys below.
RMR: 'Wer, wenn ich schriee, hörte mich denn aus der Engel Ordnungen?'
CJ: 'No one!' [Ain't no angels in the coin biz]
This one's a classic:
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence; then a gun shot is heard.
Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?"
Here's a warning parable for coin collectors...
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them gets bit by a rattlesnake in his private parts The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services, and explains the situation. The operator says " take your pocketknife and make a small 'X' incision over the bite, then suck out the venom." The guy with the bite says, "what did she say?' His friend said, "she said you're going to die".
You’re correct.....kinda scary, I used to be a pilot as well, should have known that one.
Pete
Pete
Since the virus hit I have been sheltering in place. They barely let me go outside.
Can you refresh my memory and tell me what a plane is?
@hammer1 ....
Ride 'em Cowbird..... 
Cheers, RickO
The surfing bird.
A guy meets a prostitute in a bar. She says, ‘This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300 as long as you can say it in three words.’
The guy replies, ‘Hey, why not?’ He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays $300 on the bar, and says slowly. ‘Paint…my….house.’
Here's a warning parable for coin collectors...
A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial -- it went like this:
Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?
A: No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.
Q: Officer, who provided this description?
A: The officer who responded to the scene.
Q: A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?
A: Yes sir, with my life.
Q: With your life? Let me ask you this then officer, do you have a locker room in the police station, a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?
A: Yes sir, we do.
Q: And do you have a locker in that room?
A: Yes sir, I do.
Q: And do you have a lock on your locker?
A: Yes sir.
Q: Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those officers?
A: You see sir, we share the building with a court complex, and sometimes defense attorneys have been known to walk through that room.
Cheers, RickO
A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. She left anote for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk.When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. Hethought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door toclarify the point. The blonde came to the door and the milkman said,"I found your note asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean2.5 gallons?"
The blonde said, "I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill mybathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young andbeautiful again."
The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?"
The blonde said, "No, just up to my boobs. I can splash it on my eyes."
Cheers, RickO
There was a Mensa convention in San Francisco.
Mensa, as you probably know, is a national organization for people who have an IQ of 140 or higher.
Several of the Mensa members went out for lunch at a local café.
When they sat down, one of them discovered that their salt shaker contained pepper, and their pepper shaker was full of salt.
How could they swap the contents of the two bottles without spilling any, and using only the implements at hand? Clearly, this was a job for Mensa minds.
The group debated the problem and presented ideas and finally, came up with a brilliant solution involving a napkin, a straw, and an empty saucer.
They called the waitress over, ready to dazzle her with their solution.
'Ma'am,' they said, 'we couldn't help but notice that the pepper shaker contains salt and the salt shaker has pepper.'
Before they could finish, the waitress interrupted: 'Oh sorry about that.'
She leaned over the table, unscrewed the caps of both bottles and switched them.
There was dead silence at the Mensa table.
What can we expect? No masks and no social distancing.
Here's a warning parable for coin collectors...
I seriously burst out laughing.😂
NLH
End Systemic Elitism - It Takes All Of Us