As I was driving down the road this caught my attention,
a man sitting on a curb, his hands pressed tightly together with his eyes closed and a tear in his eye. I stopped the ATV (lol) and walked over to him.
I asked "whats your name my friend".
He replied, Jesus Christ.
OOOOk I replied.
Then he stood up quick as a blink and said, "You dont belive me do you"
Welllll..., I said.
Follow me, as he turns around and walks into the bar.
As we enter the bar, the barmaid shouts out from across the bar,
"Jesus Christ you again"
Then he turns to me and says "now buy me a drink".
@emeraldATV said:
As I was driving down the road this caught my attention,
a man sitting on a curb, his hands pressed tightly together with his eyes closed and a tear in his eye. I stopped the ATV (lol) and walked over to him.
I asked "whats your name my friend".
He replied, Jesus Christ.
OOOOk I replied.
Then he stood up quick as a blink and said, "You dont belive me do you"
Welllll..., I said.
Follow me, as he turns around and walks into the bar.
As we enter the bar, the barmaid shouts out from across the bar,
"Jesus Christ you again"
Then he turns to me and says "now buy me a drink".
That reminds me of an old joke from Catholic school:
It's Christmas night. The shepherds appear to honor the birth of the King, whereupon one of them steps in some sheep poop and yells: "Jesus Christ!"
Then Joseph turns to Mary: "That sounds OK. It's better than 'Herman'."
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail.
The snail says: ‘What the hell was that all about?’
Get even with her. Buy yourself a nice coin and don't tell her.
Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe.
"Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value---zero."----Voltaire
"Everything you say should be true, but not everything true should be said."----Voltaire
I’m probably late to the party, but I once mailed a letter to a friend even though I didn’t have a stamp. I simply wrote the return address as the mailing address and when the letter got returned for insufficient postage, it got delivered to the destination.
"May the silver waves that bear you heavenward be filled with love’s whisperings"
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown
I went to cancel a doctors appointment and they said it was a $200 charge without a weeks notice. I asked how much it was to reschedule, they said it was free.
“OK so I need to reschedule for two weeks out.”
“Is three weeks ok?”
“Yep.”
“Alright, you’re all set for three weeks from now. Anything else I can do for you?”
“Yes I need to cancel my appointment.”
“We need a weeks notice.”
“My appointment is three weeks away.”
“Oh. OK. Sure.”
“Thank you.”
"May the silver waves that bear you heavenward be filled with love’s whisperings"
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown
@1Mike1 said:
I went to cancel a doctors appointment and they said it was a $200 charge without a weeks notice. I asked how much it was to reschedule, they said it was free.
“OK so I need to reschedule for two weeks out.”
“Is three weeks ok?”
“Yep.”
“Alright, you’re all set for three weeks from now. Anything else I can do for you?”
Does anyone know how to download a .mp4 file to this thread (or convert one to a useable format)? It's a roughly 10 second video. When I tried to download it a pop-up said the file format is not supported.
@SkyMan said:
Does anyone know how to download a .mp4 file to this thread (or convert one to a useable format)? It's a roughly 10 second video. When I tried to download it a pop-up said the file format is not supported.
If it's online somewhere, I think you can just paste the URL into the main dialogue box. You might want to try it out on the Testing forum first. Don't know how to upload mp4, or if it's even possible.
My kid asked me where does poo come from? I explained the process and he looked stunned and perplexed. After a few moments of awkward silence he asked, "And Tigger?"
Great transactions with oih82w8, JasonGaming, Moose1913.
It’s the seventh game of the World Series, and a man makes his way to his seat right behind first base. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there.
‘No,’ says the neighbor. ‘The seat is empty.’
‘This is incredible,’ said the man. ‘Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the seventh game of the World Series, and not use it?’
The neighbor says, ‘Well actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Series game we haven’t been to together since we got married.’
‘Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible….But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbor to take her seat?’
The man shakes his head. ‘No,’ he says. ‘They’re all at the funeral.’
Signs of Aging
You don't care where your spouse goes, as long as you don't
have to go along.
You are cautioned to slow down by your doctor instead of the
police.
'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take any fiber
today.
'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot.
...and 'an all-nighter' means not getting up to go to the
bathroom.
Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe.
"Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value---zero."----Voltaire
"Everything you say should be true, but not everything true should be said."----Voltaire
Comments
As I was driving down the road this caught my attention,
a man sitting on a curb, his hands pressed tightly together with his eyes closed and a tear in his eye. I stopped the ATV (lol) and walked over to him.
I asked "whats your name my friend".
He replied, Jesus Christ.
OOOOk I replied.
Then he stood up quick as a blink and said, "You dont belive me do you"
Welllll..., I said.
Follow me, as he turns around and walks into the bar.
As we enter the bar, the barmaid shouts out from across the bar,
"Jesus Christ you again"
Then he turns to me and says "now buy me a drink".
Pete
Ain't that the truth!
Someone suggested I post this In this thread. True story.
https://forums.collectors.com/discussion/1040958/feedback-fit-for-a-queen#latest
That reminds me of an old joke from Catholic school:
It's Christmas night. The shepherds appear to honor the birth of the King, whereupon one of them steps in some sheep poop and yells: "Jesus Christ!"
Then Joseph turns to Mary: "That sounds OK. It's better than 'Herman'."
Here's a warning parable for coin collectors...
What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy;
I don’t know and I don’t care.
i've watched many of these and imo, this is one of the best. especially the middle third. don't recall if the thumbnail is in the vid.
funny animal comp
I always liked this one:
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail.
The snail says: ‘What the hell was that all about?’
Here's a warning parable for coin collectors...
Ya but what's in the bag?
Flaming dog poop.
Edit, if it is any of your fing business.
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown
I called my wife a shirt ironer yesterday.... She's doing the laundry now...
Great transactions with oih82w8, JasonGaming, Moose1913.
Get even with her. Buy yourself a nice coin and don't tell her.
Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe.
"Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value---zero."----Voltaire
"Everything you say should be true, but not everything true should be said."----Voltaire
I’m probably late to the party, but I once mailed a letter to a friend even though I didn’t have a stamp. I simply wrote the return address as the mailing address and when the letter got returned for insufficient postage, it got delivered to the destination.
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown
I went to cancel a doctors appointment and they said it was a $200 charge without a weeks notice. I asked how much it was to reschedule, they said it was free.
“OK so I need to reschedule for two weeks out.”
“Is three weeks ok?”
“Yep.”
“Alright, you’re all set for three weeks from now. Anything else I can do for you?”
“Yes I need to cancel my appointment.”
“We need a weeks notice.”
“My appointment is three weeks away.”
“Oh. OK. Sure.”
“Thank you.”
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown
That’s gold!
My YouTube Channel
Pete
"LOL........I can bark in seven languages".
Glass coffins: will they gain popularity?
Remains to be seen.
Does anyone know how to download a .mp4 file to this thread (or convert one to a useable format)? It's a roughly 10 second video. When I tried to download it a pop-up said the file format is not supported.
U.S. Type Set
If it's online somewhere, I think you can just paste the URL into the main dialogue box. You might want to try it out on the Testing forum first. Don't know how to upload mp4, or if it's even possible.
My kid asked me where does poo come from? I explained the process and he looked stunned and perplexed. After a few moments of awkward silence he asked, "And Tigger?"
Great transactions with oih82w8, JasonGaming, Moose1913.
This one's a classic. You people heard it?:
It’s the seventh game of the World Series, and a man makes his way to his seat right behind first base. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there.
‘No,’ says the neighbor. ‘The seat is empty.’
‘This is incredible,’ said the man. ‘Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the seventh game of the World Series, and not use it?’
The neighbor says, ‘Well actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Series game we haven’t been to together since we got married.’
‘Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible….But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbor to take her seat?’
The man shakes his head. ‘No,’ he says. ‘They’re all at the funeral.’
Here's a warning parable for coin collectors...
My wife told me that if I bought her one more stupid gift that she would burn it. So I bought her a candle.
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown
Could’ve gotten her a good cigar and offered to help.
Pete
My Mexican uncle takes anti-anxiety medication.
It’s for Hispanic attacks.
Whattdya call a bullet proof Irishman ?
Rick O'Shea !
Q: What's Irish and sits by the pool?
A: Patty O'Furniture
Smitten with DBLCs.
Pete
Signs of Aging
You don't care where your spouse goes, as long as you don't
have to go along.
You are cautioned to slow down by your doctor instead of the
police.
'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take any fiber
today.
'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot.
...and 'an all-nighter' means not getting up to go to the
bathroom.
dumb question here:
are political jokes about political leaders allowed?
No, good thread, let’s not get it closed.
Thanks, just asking...
better to ask than to suffer consequences...
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown
Pete
Fauci misses the mark
He's also a lousy pitcher.
Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe.
"Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value---zero."----Voltaire
"Everything you say should be true, but not everything true should be said."----Voltaire