When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
~By Lee Majors
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
~By Al Gore
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
~By Socrates
Woman inspires us to great things and prevents us from achieving them.
~By Mike Tyson
The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?
~By George Clooney
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
~By Bill Clinton
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays."
~By George W. Bush
"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
~By Rudy Giuliani
"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
~By Michael Jordan
"I've had bad luck with all my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.” The third gave me more children!
~By Donald Trump
Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor.
With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis.
After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, "Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem."
The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a large stack of warm pan cakes in the middle of the table.
"Gee, Mom," he exclaimed. "For me?"
"Just take two," Brenda replied, "The rest are for your father."
There were two elderly people living in Trailer Estates, a Florida mobile home park. He was a widower and she a widow. They had known one another for a number of years.
One evening there was a community supper in the big activity center. The two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal went on, he made a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered his courage to ask her, "Will you marry me?"
After about six seconds of 'careful consideration', she answered. "Yes. Yes, I will." The meal ended and, with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to their respective places.
Next morning, he was troubled. "Did she say 'yes' or did she say 'no'?" He couldn't remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. Not even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her. First, he explained that he didn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained a little more courage, he inquired, "When I asked if you would marry me, did you say 'Yes' or did you say 'No'?"
He was delighted to hear her say, "Why, I said, 'Yes, yes I will' and I meant it with all my heart." Then she continued, "I am so glad that you called, because I couldn't remember who had asked me."
A guy walks into a supermarket and buys the following:
1 bar of soap
1 toothbrush
1 tube of toothpaste
1 loaf of bread
1 pint of milk
1 single serving of cereal
1 single frozen dinner
The checkout girl looks at him, smiles, and says, 'Single,huh?'
The guy smiles sheepishly and replies, 'How'd you guess?'
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
~By Kobe Bryant
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
~By David Hasselhoff
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
~By Alec Baldwin
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
~By Barack Obama
Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
~By Tommy Lee
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
~By Brad Pitt
First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy : "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
~ By Jimmy Kimmel
“Honey, what happened to ‘ladies first’?” Husband replies, “That’s the reason why the world’s a mess today, because a lady went first!”
~By David Letterman
“First there’s the promise ring, then the engagement ring, then the wedding ring...soon after....comes SuffeRing!
~By Jay Leno
"The reason why wives live longer is because they don't have a Wife"
~By Brandon Breezy
After discovering her young daughter playing doctor with the neighbor's boy, the angry mother grabbed the boy by the ear and dragged him to his house and confronted his mother.
"It's only natural for young boys and girls to explore their sexuality by playing doctor at their age." the neighbor said.
"Forget sexuality!" The mother yelled. "He took out her appendix!"
Comments
Great post and loved the funny ending
it took me by surprise
Kennedys are my quest...
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Actually it will be his 10th ring. Right now 6 big ones and 3 little ones.
Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor.
With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis.
After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, "Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem."
The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a large stack of warm pan cakes in the middle of the table.
"Gee, Mom," he exclaimed. "For me?"
"Just take two," Brenda replied, "The rest are for your father."
Cheers, RickO
There were two elderly people living in Trailer Estates, a Florida mobile home park. He was a widower and she a widow. They had known one another for a number of years.
One evening there was a community supper in the big activity center. The two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal went on, he made a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered his courage to ask her, "Will you marry me?"
After about six seconds of 'careful consideration', she answered. "Yes. Yes, I will." The meal ended and, with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to their respective places.
Next morning, he was troubled. "Did she say 'yes' or did she say 'no'?" He couldn't remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. Not even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her. First, he explained that he didn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained a little more courage, he inquired, "When I asked if you would marry me, did you say 'Yes' or did you say 'No'?"
He was delighted to hear her say, "Why, I said, 'Yes, yes I will' and I meant it with all my heart." Then she continued, "I am so glad that you called, because I couldn't remember who had asked me."
Cheers, RickO
A guy walks into a supermarket and buys the following:
1 bar of soap
1 toothbrush
1 tube of toothpaste
1 loaf of bread
1 pint of milk
1 single serving of cereal
1 single frozen dinner
The checkout girl looks at him, smiles, and says, 'Single,huh?'
The guy smiles sheepishly and replies, 'How'd you guess?'
She says, 'Because you're ugly.'
Cheers, RickO
I do believe the 3 "I was there rings" are collecting dust somewhere. lol
Kennedys are my quest...
"Ok girls, keep that formation tight!"
The Mysterious Egyptian Magic Coin
Coins in Movies
Coins on Television
U.S. Type Set
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Dave
Mightas well finish the post
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're
Cheers, RickO
Come on open up.
That's better
Seated next to Donald.
The Mysterious Egyptian Magic Coin
Coins in Movies
Coins on Television
U.S. Type Set
I get em for $2.99/ea so it does work.
Fill it with tap water and everyone will think you are smart, or not.
If you can get a hammer in there you will have every tool you will ever need.
CLOSED !
Due to May Flies.
GONE FISHING !
Well I found Waldo. Does that count?
.
.
.
.
Just a little tip.... saliva is very reactive to coins, if you lick your coins every other day they will corrode much faster.
Tee Hee .
Lg mouth also, some good cookin.
Here he is or she.
I see it.
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Bad transactions with : nobody to date
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Bad transactions with : nobody to date
A thief broke into my house last night.
He started searching for money.
So I woke up, and searched with him.
REMEMBER, BAD DAYS HAPPEN TO EVERYONE
I may donate to WWF.
Pete
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Bad transactions with : nobody to date
U.S. Type Set
After discovering her young daughter playing doctor with the neighbor's boy, the angry mother grabbed the boy by the ear and dragged him to his house and confronted his mother.
"It's only natural for young boys and girls to explore their sexuality by playing doctor at their age." the neighbor said.
"Forget sexuality!" The mother yelled. "He took out her appendix!"
Cheers, RickO
Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him.
"So how was it?" his mother asked when they returned home.
"Great," Little Johnny replied.
"Did you and your father have a good time?" asked his mother.
"Yeah, Daddy especially liked it," exclaimed Little Johnny excitedly, especially when one of the animals came home at 30 to 1!"
Cheers, RickO
Now that, is hilarious! 😂
Two women were at a bar. One looked at the other and said, "You know, eighty percent of all men think the best way to end a fight is to make love."
"Well," said the other woman, "if that was true, that would certainly revolutionize the game of hockey!"
Cheers, RickO
lol, but no way those are human hands, looks like a kangaroos foot.