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The forum needs a little humor.

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    1630Boston1630Boston Posts: 13,774 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Where do you pick up your free water??


    Las Vegas strip club donates water during COVID-19

    Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb

    Bad transactions with : nobody to date

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    1Mike11Mike1 Posts: 4,415 ✭✭✭✭✭

    ME: isn't this great??
    WIFE: not really.
    ME: looks down from the top bunk what's wrong??

    "May the silver waves that bear you heavenward be filled with love’s whisperings"

    "A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown
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    1630Boston1630Boston Posts: 13,774 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb

    Bad transactions with : nobody to date

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    hammer1hammer1 Posts: 3,874 ✭✭✭✭✭

    A 71 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience.
    Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?"
    God said, "No, you have another 25 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."
    Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color and brighten her teeth!
    Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.
    After her final operation, she was released from the hospital.
    While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.
    Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 25 years to live. Why didn't you pull me away from the path of the ambulance?"
    God replied:
    "I didn't recognize you!"

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    CCGGGCCGGG Posts: 1,267 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @DarkRage666 said:

    @CCGGG said:

    @dpoole said:

    Sorry to know where everyone stands politically up to now. We'd been doing so well....

    I didn't think this was necessarily "political".... Maybe that's because I don't believe anything they report on.

    FOX is the only news station I will believe... even then I don't believe half the things they say

    50% seems high... Even for FOX these days.

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    amwldcoinamwldcoin Posts: 11,269 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Yeah, and this is a very popular thread! Has anyone noticed it's well past 100K views now? It's on track to break all the records. Perhaps some good coin jokes need to be posted to keep in more on topic. Anyone have any?

    @PerryHall said:
    I'd like to see this thread continue so stop posting political crap. Otherwise, the moderators will close this thread. Thank you. :)

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    pocketpiececommemspocketpiececommems Posts: 5,775 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @DarkRage666 said:

    @hammer1 said:
    Ed and his wife Norma go to the state fair every year, And every year Ed would say,

    " Norma, I'd like to ride in that helicopter "

    Norma always replied,
    " I know Ed , but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, And fifty bucks is fifty bucks! "

    One year Ed and Norma went to the fair, and Ed said, " Norma, I'm 75 years old.
    If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance "

    To this, Norma replied,
    " Ed, that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks "

    The pilot overheard the couple and said,
    " Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If You can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge You a penny!
    But if you say one word it's fifty dollars. "

    Ed and Norma agreed and up they went.

    The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard.

    He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, But still not a word...

    When they landed, the pilot turned to Ed and said, " By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you
    Didn't. I'm impressed! "

    Ed replied, " Well, to tell you the truth
    I almost said something when Norma fell out,
    But you know...

    Fifty bucks is fifty bucks!

    Fair enough

    @DarkRage666 said:

    @hammer1 said:
    Ed and his wife Norma go to the state fair every year, And every year Ed would say,

    " Norma, I'd like to ride in that helicopter "

    Norma always replied,
    " I know Ed , but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, And fifty bucks is fifty bucks! "

    One year Ed and Norma went to the fair, and Ed said, " Norma, I'm 75 years old.
    If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance "

    To this, Norma replied,
    " Ed, that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks "

    The pilot overheard the couple and said,
    " Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If You can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge You a penny!
    But if you say one word it's fifty dollars. "

    Ed and Norma agreed and up they went.

    The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard.

    He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, But still not a word...

    When they landed, the pilot turned to Ed and said, " By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you
    Didn't. I'm impressed! "

    Ed replied, " Well, to tell you the truth
    I almost said something when Norma fell out,
    But you know...

    Fifty bucks is fifty bucks!

    Fair enough

    Wonder if that 50 bucks would have been paid in Silver or Silver certificates 🙈

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    1630Boston1630Boston Posts: 13,774 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @amwldcoin said:
    Yeah, Perhaps some good coin jokes need to be posted to keep in more on topic. Anyone have any?

    ??

    Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb

    Bad transactions with : nobody to date

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    1630Boston1630Boston Posts: 13,774 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb

    Bad transactions with : nobody to date

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    logger7logger7 Posts: 8,168 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited February 5, 2021 7:22PM

    A older woman had a heart attack, and was rushed to the hospital.
    While on the operating table she had a near-death experience.
    Seeing God she asked anxiously, "Is my time up?"
    God looked in his book and replied with a smile, "No. No. No.
    You have another 27 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."
    Since she had so much time left, she figured she might as well
    make the most of it.
    Upon recovering, the woman decided to remain in the hospital
    and have a facelift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck.
    She even changed her hair color and whitened her teeth. Shortly
    after this last improvement, she was released from the hospital.
    On her way home, while crossing the street, she was hit by a
    bus and killed.
    Standing before God she demanded, "Why didn't you pull me
    from in front of that bus? You said I had another 27 years!"
    God replied, "Oh! I didn't recognize you."

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    logger7logger7 Posts: 8,168 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Good music brings everyone together.....

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    SmudgeSmudge Posts: 9,302 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Old people tell the same joke over and over.

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    SmudgeSmudge Posts: 9,302 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Old people tell the same joke over and over.

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    pocketpiececommemspocketpiececommems Posts: 5,775 ✭✭✭✭✭

    ms70 where did you get those stickers? LOL

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    jkrkjkrk Posts: 971 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @Smudge said:
    Old people tell the same joke over and over.

    Old people tell the same joke over and over.

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    jkrkjkrk Posts: 971 ✭✭✭✭✭

    While getting a checkup, a man tells his doctor that he thinks his wife is losing her hearing. The doctor says, "You should do a simple test. Stand about 15 feet behind your wife and say 'honey?' Move 3 feet closer and do it again. Keep moving 3 feet closer until she finally responds. Remember how close you were when she gives you an answer. That will help me know how bad her hearing loss is.

    About a month later the same guy is at the doctor again and the doctor asks, "Well, did you do that experiment with your wife's hearing?"

    The man says, "Yes."

    "How close did you get before she answered?"

    "Well, by the time I got about 3 feet away she just turned around and said, 'For the FIFTH TIME...WHAT???'"

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    thefinnthefinn Posts: 2,654 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @jkrk said:
    While getting a checkup, a man tells his doctor that he thinks his wife is losing her hearing. The doctor says, "You should do a simple test. Stand about 15 feet behind your wife and say 'honey?' Move 3 feet closer and do it again. Keep moving 3 feet closer until she finally responds. Remember how close you were when she gives you an answer. That will help me know how bad her hearing loss is.

    About a month later the same guy is at the doctor again and the doctor asks, "Well, did you do that experiment with your wife's hearing?"

    The man says, "Yes."

    "How close did you get before she answered?"

    "Well, by the time I got about 3 feet away she just turned around and said, 'For the FIFTH TIME...WHAT???'"

    Already been posted.

    thefinn
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    1northcoin1northcoin Posts: 3,900 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @logger7 said:

    @Smudge said:
    Old people tell the same joke over and over.

    That reminds me of this one:

    A man is sent to prison for the first time. The first night there, after the lights in the cell block are turned off, he immediately sees his cellmate going over to the bars and yelling, "twelve!" The whole cell block breaks out laughing. A few minutes later, somebody else in the cell block yells, "four!" Again, the whole cell block breaks out laughing. "Why are you guys just yelling numbers?" He asks his cellmate. "What's so funny about random numbers?" "Well," says the older prisoner, "They're not random. It's just that we've all been in this here prison for so long, we all know all the same jokes. So after a while we just started giving them numbers and yelling those numbers is enough to remind us of the joke instead of telling it." Wanting to fit in, the new prisoner walks up to the bars and yells, "SIX!" But instead of laughter, a dead silence falls on the cell block. He turns to the older prisoner, "What's wrong? Why didn't I get any laughs?" "You didn't tell it right."

    When I heard that one years ago, the punchline was, "Well some people can tell a joke, and some can't."

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    emeraldATVemeraldATV Posts: 4,163 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Paint By Number Coin ?

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    jkrkjkrk Posts: 971 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @thefinn said:

    @jkrk said:
    While getting a checkup, a man tells his doctor that he thinks his wife is losing her hearing. The doctor says, "You should do a simple test. Stand about 15 feet behind your wife and say 'honey?' Move 3 feet closer and do it again. Keep moving 3 feet closer until she finally responds. Remember how close you were when she gives you an answer. That will help me know how bad her hearing loss is.

    About a month later the same guy is at the doctor again and the doctor asks, "Well, did you do that experiment with your wife's hearing?"

    The man says, "Yes."

    "How close did you get before she answered?"

    "Well, by the time I got about 3 feet away she just turned around and said, 'For the FIFTH TIME...WHAT???'"

    Already been posted.

    I'm much older since the first time it was posted.

    Perhaps abbreviations would be more helpful for me?

    ABP = Already been posted.

    FTFT = Funnier the first time.

    WTTEBC = Will this thread end before Covid ?

    ILTWITIB = I like the way I told it better.

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    marcmoishmarcmoish Posts: 6,224 ✭✭✭✭✭

    hey @jkrk

    FYI, the one bout the hearing ABP and furthermore it was FTFT
    :D:D

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