Blond is sitting on the bar sipping a drink. Bartender strikes a conversation with her about family and life in general.
she says: I have been wondering for some time now if my brother is ok in his mind.
He often talks about his 4 sisters. But, how come he has 4 sisters and I have only 3 ?
A guy spots a sign outside a house that reads “Talking Dog for Sale.” Intrigued, he walks in.
“So what have you done with your life?” he asks the dog.
“I’ve led a very full life,” says the dog. “I lived in the Alps rescuing avalanche victims. Then I served my country in Iraq. And now I spend my days reading to the residents of a retirement home.”
The guy is flabbergasted. He asks the dog’s owner, “Why on earth would you want to get rid of an incredible dog like that?”
The owner says, “Because he’s a liar! He never did any of that!”
@1630Boston said:
A man enters a bank and asks for a loan of $2,000 for a trip to Europe. The loan officer asks for collateral, so the man points to his Rolls Royce parked outside. The bank takes the keys to the car and parks it in its underground parking lot. The man returns from his vacation and repays the $2,000, plus a minimal amount of interest (less than $20). The loan officer says, “Sir, while you were away we found that you’re a millionaire. Why did you need to borrow such a small sum of money?” The man replies, “I didn’t. Where else in New York City can I park my Rolls Royce for two weeks for less than $20?”
That's not even just a good joke. That's just good life advice. When you can do business in such a way that externalities perceived as liabilities become realized as assets, that is how smart people make lots of money. Especially if you can get other people to go along with it.
In surgery for a heart attack, a middle-aged woman has a vision of God by her bedside. “Will I die?” she asks.
God says, “No. You have 30 more years to live.”
With 30 years to look forward to, she decides to make the best of it.
So since she’s in the hospital, she gets breast implants, liposuction, a tummy tuck, hair transplants, and collagen injections in her lips.
She looks great!
The day she’s discharged, she exits the hospital with a swagger, crosses the street, and is immediately hit by an ambulance and killed instantly. Up in heaven, she sees God. “You said I had 30 more years to live,” she complains.
@YQQ said:
Blond is sitting on the bar sipping a drink. Bartender strikes a conversation with her about family and life in general.
she says: I have been wondering for some time now if my brother is ok in his mind.
He often talks about his 4 sisters. But, how come he has 4 sisters and I have only 3 ?
I once made my sister cry when I convinced her that she couldn't be my real sister because she had a brother and a sister while I had two sisters.
Just because I'm old doesn't mean I don't love to look at a pretty bust.
Found this poor guy eating a dead deer on side of road. He has no collar and he's a little snippy. Barely got him in my car.
Please share this so we can find his owners!
Comments
Thanks for the laughs!
100% Positive BST transactions
Here's a warning parable for coin collectors...
@IkesT
"This is priceless...." that message belongs in here!
Mary: Knock, knock.
Heidi: Who's there?
M: Lil ole lady.
H: Lil ole lady who? ♫ ♫ ♫
M: Oh, I didn't know you could yodel?
- Jim
Does this apply to CV19?
Shouldn’t they be wearing masks?
Yep! 😜
I went to the doctor recently. He told me, “Don’t eat anything fatty.”
Me: You mean like bacon or burgers?
Doc: No fatty. Don’t eat anything!
Is it safe?
The Mysterious Egyptian Magic Coin
Coins in Movies
Coins on Television
Cheers, RickO
Cheers, RickO
Cheers, RickO
Cheers, RickO
Cheers, RickO
Cheers, RickO
The way you can tell who loves you more, your dog or your wife:
Lock them both in the trunk of your car for an hour. Then open it up, and see who's happier to see you.
Here's a warning parable for coin collectors...
Hmmmm..... Thanks for the tip!
Great transactions with oih82w8, JasonGaming, Moose1913.
Cheers, RickO
Don't pi$$ off old people:
The older we get, the less "Life in Prison" is a deterrent.
Here's a warning parable for coin collectors...
How many bureaucrats does it take to change a lightbulb?
Time for a meeting.
Actual trial transcript:
Q. Did you stay all night with this man in New York?
A. I refuse to answer that question.
Q. Did you stay all night with this man in Chicago?
A. I refuse to answer that question.
Q. Did you stay all night with this man in Miami?
A. No.
Here's a warning parable for coin collectors...
Pete
Actual Trial Transcripts:
Q. Please state the location of your right foot immediately prior to impact.
A. Immediately prior to impact, my right foot was located at the immediate end of my right leg.
This one was during an exchange with a child witness:
Q. And lastly, Gary, all your responses must be oral, OK?
A. Oral.
Q. How old are you, Gary?
A. Oral.
Q. James stood back and shot Tommy Lee?
A. Yes.
Q. And then Tommy Lee pulled out his gun and shot James in the fracas?
A. (After a hesitation) No, sir. Just above it.
Here's a warning parable for coin collectors...
Blond is sitting on the bar sipping a drink. Bartender strikes a conversation with her about family and life in general.
she says: I have been wondering for some time now if my brother is ok in his mind.
He often talks about his 4 sisters. But, how come he has 4 sisters and I have only 3 ?
Pete
A guy spots a sign outside a house that reads “Talking Dog for Sale.” Intrigued, he walks in.
“So what have you done with your life?” he asks the dog.
“I’ve led a very full life,” says the dog. “I lived in the Alps rescuing avalanche victims. Then I served my country in Iraq. And now I spend my days reading to the residents of a retirement home.”
The guy is flabbergasted. He asks the dog’s owner, “Why on earth would you want to get rid of an incredible dog like that?”
The owner says, “Because he’s a liar! He never did any of that!”
That's not even just a good joke. That's just good life advice. When you can do business in such a way that externalities perceived as liabilities become realized as assets, that is how smart people make lots of money. Especially if you can get other people to go along with it.
Pete
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
Dave
Snorting Quack.
Pete
Cheers, RickO
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
In surgery for a heart attack, a middle-aged woman has a vision of God by her bedside. “Will I die?” she asks.
God says, “No. You have 30 more years to live.”
With 30 years to look forward to, she decides to make the best of it.
So since she’s in the hospital, she gets breast implants, liposuction, a tummy tuck, hair transplants, and collagen injections in her lips.
She looks great!
The day she’s discharged, she exits the hospital with a swagger, crosses the street, and is immediately hit by an ambulance and killed instantly. Up in heaven, she sees God. “You said I had 30 more years to live,” she complains.
“That’s true,” says God.
“So what happened?” she asks.
God shrugs. “I didn’t recognize you.”
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
Don't piss off old people, the older we get "Life in Prison" is Less of a detterent!
I once made my sister cry when I convinced her that she couldn't be my real sister because she had a brother and a sister while I had two sisters.
Found this poor guy eating a dead deer on side of road. He has no collar and he's a little snippy. Barely got him in my car.
Please share this so we can find his owners!
Not many people are named Lance these days.
But in the Middle Ages people were named Lance a lot.
you pissing off the guy that posted this just a mere few days ago..watch your back BC
Imitation is the highest form of flattery.
Besides, I ripped the joke off from a T-shirt ad, anyway.
Here's a warning parable for coin collectors...
I didn't see it on here, and I thought I watched pretty close. LOL sorry! I thought it was funny!