@amwldcoin said:
I hate dem SOB's! We've even had them come up on our deck and dig in our potted plants. Needless to say I've shot quite a few of them. They must find it sexy cause one was laying on it's back with...ehmmm something at attention!
We love them, we have a family in the backyard right now with triplets. They work as a team digging up things and aerating our soil, the grass back there is very rich given their decade of work with that family and their kids over the years. They don't go into our pots though.......
A few years back, we had one digging in our back yard. I tried to scare him off, but they don't hear or see very well. So I'd get a few yards closer, yell and wave my arms, but he'd still go on blissfully digging and humming to himself. Finally I got close enough (10 feet or so) to where he noticed me. He immediately freaked out, jumped about a foot in the air, turned and...ran into the kid's swing set (BONG).
He staggered off, mumbling something about how glad he was he had a shell.
While playing in the backyard, a little boy kills a honeybee.
His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, "No honey for you for one month!"
Later that afternoon, the kid's dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly.
"That's it! No butter for you for one month!" says his dad.
Later that evening as the boy's mother cooks dinner, a cockroach run across the kitchen floor.
She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find her son and her husband watching her.
The boy looks at his father: "Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?"
Well, I just got cleared to come home from the Hospital.
This has not been a good day!! After spending the last two months quarantined inside the house, I decided to go horseback riding, something I haven't done in many years. It turned out to be a truly dreadful mistake!
I got on the horse and started out slowly, but then we went a little faster; before I knew it, we were going as fast as the horse could go. I couldn't take the pace and fell off and caught my foot in the stirrup, the horse was then dragging me, sounds funny I know, but believe me it wasn’t! The horse just would not stop.
Thankfully the manager at Walmart came out and unplugged the machine. He actually had the nerve to take the rest of my coins off me so I wouldn't try to ride the Elephant...
This is a very easy and safe No Risk Home-Exercise during this Virus epidemic
Begin standing on a comfortable surface with plenty of stretch room to each side of you.
It involves very light exercising 3 times a day for less then a minute.each time Weeke one:
Day one
Right after breakfast, and with a 3-LB potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out and hold this position to start with for about 5 seconds. Then relax.
Do this again just before you have your lunch, Enjoy a nice lunch..
And again, just before you have dinner. Enjoy a glass of wine with dinner.
day 2, increase the time to 7 seconds
day 3 increase the time to 10 seconds
day 4 increase the time to 12 seconds
day 5 increase the time to 15 seconds
day 6 increase the time to 18 seconds
day 7 increase the time to 20 seconds. Week 2:
do the same thing, same timing, except with 5 -lb potato sack (you will see it is easy now as you muscles and body is now used to it) Week 3:
do the same timing except use a 10- lb potato sack.
You will be surprised how very easy it is now for you and you will be very proud of yourself and your progress.
Week 4: do the same all over again, repeat weeks 1-3
But you will now add a large potato into each sack!!!
@amwldcoin said:
I hate dem SOB's! We've even had them come up on our deck and dig in our potted plants. Needless to say I've shot quite a few of them. They must find it sexy cause one was laying on it's back with...ehmmm something at attention!
@PocketArt said:
Thought I'd re-post this wisdom here...honestly though...never heed this advice. Just for entertainment purposes only. Please listen O-N-L-Y. ONLY.
@PocketArt said:
Thought I'd re-post this wisdom here...honestly though...never heed this advice. Just for entertainment purposes only. Please listen O-N-L-Y. ONLY.
"Sarcasm will get you nowhere in life," my boss told me.
"Well, it got me to the 'International Sarcasm' finals in LaPlante, Indiana in 2009," I quickly informed him.
"Really?" he asked.
"No," I replied.
A man bought his mother-in-law a cemetery plot which included a casket, headstone and the works one christmas. She was very appreciative. The next christmas the son-in-law never got his mother-in-law anything and she wondered why and asked him. The son-in-law replied, "You never used the present I got you last year."
During a virtual interview, a recruiter asks a recent college graduate, "What starting salary are you looking for?"
The applicant replies, "In the range of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."
The recruiter says, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5 weeks' vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years - say, a red Corvette?"
The applicant stares into the camera and exclaims, "Wow! Are you kidding?"
The recruiter replies, "Yeah, but you started it."
When I was a boy, I had a terrible disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive. I'm glad my older brother told me about that.
"May the silver waves that bear you heavenward be filled with love’s whisperings"
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown
Told my wife today how much things changed over time. She asked, " how'". I said; " it's a lot easier getting you in to bed than getting you out of it , nowadays".
@amwldcoin said:
They aren't digging leg buster holes in you yard? They are a big problem here. I luckily stopped one that was about to compromise a retaining wall!
@amwldcoin said:
I hate dem SOB's! We've even had them come up on our deck and dig in our potted plants. Needless to say I've shot quite a few of them. They must find it sexy cause one was laying on it's back with...ehmmm something at attention!
We love them, we have a family in the backyard right now with triplets. They work as a team digging up things and aerating our soil, the grass back there is very rich given their decade of work with that family and their kids over the years. They don't go into our pots though.......
Best, SH
Wow, no ours seem kindler gentler, holes sometimes go down a 1 inch and a few inches across, we just put the detached soil/grass back on them and the grow back nicely.
BEWARE GEORGIA ARMADILLOS! BE FRIENDS WITH THE LAID BACK TEXAN ONES
Now Michael,
I'ts not that bad.
Doesn't even come close.
Relax!
Why not take in a game?
Oh, ya.
Safty First !
No PR here, right?
I hear the tea cups ride is open?
Comments
They aren't digging leg buster holes in you yard? They are a big problem here. I luckily stopped one that was about to compromise a retaining wall!
A few years back, we had one digging in our back yard. I tried to scare him off, but they don't hear or see very well. So I'd get a few yards closer, yell and wave my arms, but he'd still go on blissfully digging and humming to himself. Finally I got close enough (10 feet or so) to where he noticed me. He immediately freaked out, jumped about a foot in the air, turned and...ran into the kid's swing set (BONG).
He staggered off, mumbling something about how glad he was he had a shell.
Here's a warning parable for coin collectors...
Armadillos are cute.
The Mysterious Egyptian Magic Coin
Coins in Movies
Coins on Television
While playing in the backyard, a little boy kills a honeybee.
His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, "No honey for you for one month!"
Later that afternoon, the kid's dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly.
"That's it! No butter for you for one month!" says his dad.
Later that evening as the boy's mother cooks dinner, a cockroach run across the kitchen floor.
She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find her son and her husband watching her.
The boy looks at his father: "Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?"
Here's a warning parable for coin collectors...
Well, I just got cleared to come home from the Hospital.
This has not been a good day!! After spending the last two months quarantined inside the house, I decided to go horseback riding, something I haven't done in many years. It turned out to be a truly dreadful mistake!
I got on the horse and started out slowly, but then we went a little faster; before I knew it, we were going as fast as the horse could go. I couldn't take the pace and fell off and caught my foot in the stirrup, the horse was then dragging me, sounds funny I know, but believe me it wasn’t! The horse just would not stop.
Thankfully the manager at Walmart came out and unplugged the machine. He actually had the nerve to take the rest of my coins off me so I wouldn't try to ride the Elephant...
Thought I'd re-post this wisdom here...honestly though...never heed this advice. Just for entertainment purposes only. Please listen O-N-L-Y. ONLY.
This is a very easy and safe No Risk Home-Exercise during this Virus epidemic
Begin standing on a comfortable surface with plenty of stretch room to each side of you.
It involves very light exercising 3 times a day for less then a minute.each time
Weeke one:
Day one
Right after breakfast, and with a 3-LB potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out and hold this position to start with for about 5 seconds. Then relax.
Do this again just before you have your lunch, Enjoy a nice lunch..
And again, just before you have dinner. Enjoy a glass of wine with dinner.
day 2, increase the time to 7 seconds
day 3 increase the time to 10 seconds
day 4 increase the time to 12 seconds
day 5 increase the time to 15 seconds
day 6 increase the time to 18 seconds
day 7 increase the time to 20 seconds.
Week 2:
do the same thing, same timing, except with 5 -lb potato sack (you will see it is easy now as you muscles and body is now used to it)
Week 3:
do the same timing except use a 10- lb potato sack.
You will be surprised how very easy it is now for you and you will be very proud of yourself and your progress.
Week 4:
do the same all over again, repeat weeks 1-3
But you will now add a large potato into each sack!!!
You can't buy potatoes here! 😂
Yeah, I don't like cats either.
Great transactions with oih82w8, JasonGaming, Moose1913.
The part about melting coins for silver bullets during WW2 was hilarious.
I guess that was a foolproof way to kill a Nazi?
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown
"Sarcasm will get you nowhere in life," my boss told me.
"Well, it got me to the 'International Sarcasm' finals in LaPlante, Indiana in 2009," I quickly informed him.
"Really?" he asked.
"No," I replied.
W.C. Fields: Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill?
Bartender: Yes you did.
Fields: Oh, thank goodness... I thought I'd lost it.
And that bartender was none other than Shemp Howard of the Three Stooges. The scene can be found in the W.C. Fields classic "The Bank Dick".
I would've captioned this as: "This has got to be a joke."
Great transactions with oih82w8, JasonGaming, Moose1913.
A man bought his mother-in-law a cemetery plot which included a casket, headstone and the works one christmas. She was very appreciative. The next christmas the son-in-law never got his mother-in-law anything and she wondered why and asked him. The son-in-law replied, "You never used the present I got you last year."
Removed
Helvetica didn't make the cut
You're giving me another idea.
My car Feb. 2019
The Beef State plate put on for verisimilitude
"Inspiration exists, but it has to find you working" Pablo Picasso
During a virtual interview, a recruiter asks a recent college graduate, "What starting salary are you looking for?"
The applicant replies, "In the range of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."
The recruiter says, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5 weeks' vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years - say, a red Corvette?"
The applicant stares into the camera and exclaims, "Wow! Are you kidding?"
The recruiter replies, "Yeah, but you started it."
@JazzmanJAB
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
One of my time favorites!!
Louis Armstrong
I meant the one with the tuba playing kid.
Louis Armstrong
JazzmanJAB Posts: 952 ✭✭✭✭
I thought it was a lawnmower.
Husband: "I want you to have this bracelet. It belonged to my grandmother."
Wife: "Why does it say, 'Do not resuscitate'?"
Where's the amen button?
When I was a boy, I had a terrible disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive. I'm glad my older brother told me about that.
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown
Just checking ya'll.
My boss told me that I intimidate the other employees at work, so I just stared at him until he apologized.
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
That's an expensive meal!
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown
A little to much fiber!
Could be high in vitamin "C".
Told my wife today how much things changed over time. She asked, " how'". I said; " it's a lot easier getting you in to bed than getting you out of it , nowadays".
Wow, no ours seem kindler gentler, holes sometimes go down a 1 inch and a few inches across, we just put the detached soil/grass back on them and the grow back nicely.
BEWARE GEORGIA ARMADILLOS! BE FRIENDS WITH THE LAID BACK TEXAN ONES
Now Michael,
I'ts not that bad.
Doesn't even come close.
Relax!
Why not take in a game?
Oh, ya.
Safty First !
No PR here, right?
I hear the tea cups ride is open?
1000