A motorcycle police officer stops a driver for shooting through a red light. The driver is a real jerk, steps out of his car and comes striding toward the officer, demanding to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo!
So the officer calmly tells him of the red-light violation. The motorist instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the officer's ancestry, sexual orientation, etc., in rather explicit offensive terms.
The tirade goes on and on without the officer saying anything.
When the officer finishes writing the ticket, he puts an "AH" in the lower right corner of the narrative portion of the ticket. He then hands it to The 'violator' for his signature. The guy signs the ticket angrily, and when presented with his copy points to the "AH" and demands to know what it stands for.
The officer says, “That’s so when we go to court, I'll remember that you're an a$sho1e!"
Two months later they're in court. The “violator” has a bad driving record with a high number of points and is in danger of losing his license, so he hired a lawyer to represent him.
On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run through the red light.
Under cross examination the defense attorney asks, "Officer, is this a reasonable facsimile of the ticket that you issued to my client?"
Officer responds, “Yes, sir, that is the defendant's copy, his signature and mine, same number at the top."
Lawyer: "Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on this ticket you don't normally make?"
"Yes, sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is an ‘AH,’ underlined."
"What does the "AH" stand for, officer?"
"Aggressive and hostile, Sir."
"Aggressive and hostile?"
"Yes, Sir.
"Officer, are you sure it doesn't stand for a$sho1e?"
“Well, Sir, you know your client better than I do.”
(How often can one get an attorney to convict his own client?)
In church Sunday morning the preacher said, "Anyone with 'special needs' who wants to be prayed over, please come forward to the front by the altar."
With that, JB got in line, and when it was his turn, the preacher asked, "JB, what do you want me to pray about for you?"
JB replied, "Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing."
The preacher put one of his fingers in JB's ear, then he took his other hand and placed it on top of JB's head; and then he prayed and prayed and eventually the whole congregation joined in with great enthusiasm.
After a few minutes, the preacher removed his hands, stood back and asked, "JB, how is your hearing now?"
JB answered, "I don't know. It ain't 'til Thursday."
Comments
No red eye please.
Now get back in your car.
Bull, your making a mess and now we have to scoop it up. Go Phillies.
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Cheers, RickO
Cheers, RickO
Cheers, RickO
peacockcoins
Cheers, RickO
Cheers, RickO
Cheers, RickO
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Can you give me a hand ? I lost my glasses.
That's not a humus thing, and that's funny.
Hey Jesus, can't see any crow's nests.
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
peacockcoins
A motorcycle police officer stops a driver for shooting through a red light. The driver is a real jerk, steps out of his car and comes striding toward the officer, demanding to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo!
So the officer calmly tells him of the red-light violation. The motorist instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the officer's ancestry, sexual orientation, etc., in rather explicit offensive terms.
The tirade goes on and on without the officer saying anything.
When the officer finishes writing the ticket, he puts an "AH" in the lower right corner of the narrative portion of the ticket. He then hands it to The 'violator' for his signature. The guy signs the ticket angrily, and when presented with his copy points to the "AH" and demands to know what it stands for.
The officer says, “That’s so when we go to court, I'll remember that you're an a$sho1e!"
Two months later they're in court. The “violator” has a bad driving record with a high number of points and is in danger of losing his license, so he hired a lawyer to represent him.
On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run through the red light.
Under cross examination the defense attorney asks, "Officer, is this a reasonable facsimile of the ticket that you issued to my client?"
Officer responds, “Yes, sir, that is the defendant's copy, his signature and mine, same number at the top."
Lawyer: "Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on this ticket you don't normally make?"
"Yes, sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is an ‘AH,’ underlined."
"What does the "AH" stand for, officer?"
"Aggressive and hostile, Sir."
"Aggressive and hostile?"
"Yes, Sir.
"Officer, are you sure it doesn't stand for a$sho1e?"
“Well, Sir, you know your client better than I do.”
(How often can one get an attorney to convict his own client?)
"When they can't find anything wrong with you, they create it!"
Hello. Handsome.
Would you like to trade that ax for this matching sword.
Fire in the hole ?
Yes sir, at least its contained.
And that needs NO explanation!!
🤣
Coinsof1984@martinb6830 on twitter
Pete
In church Sunday morning the preacher said, "Anyone with 'special needs' who wants to be prayed over, please come forward to the front by the altar."
With that, JB got in line, and when it was his turn, the preacher asked, "JB, what do you want me to pray about for you?"
JB replied, "Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing."
The preacher put one of his fingers in JB's ear, then he took his other hand and placed it on top of JB's head; and then he prayed and prayed and eventually the whole congregation joined in with great enthusiasm.
After a few minutes, the preacher removed his hands, stood back and asked, "JB, how is your hearing now?"
JB answered, "I don't know. It ain't 'til Thursday."
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
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Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb
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if we could somehow tether saving us/the world with using smartphones, baby.....we.....are.....set....!!!
Not seeing much "Smartness" come from these phones.............
"When they can't find anything wrong with you, they create it!"
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb
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Thanks for the smelly stuff, Gweyn.
Have you seen my sword ?
I have seen it
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...