A nice, calm, and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, “I would like to buy some cyanide.”
The pharmacist asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”
The lady replied, “I need it to poison my husband..”
The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he exclaimed, “Lord have mercy! I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!”
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and said,
“You didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”
Damm, the boat is moving very fast, so, if I jump from the upper deck down to the lower deck is the boat going to pass through my jump and make me look like a fool ?
@Rollerman said:
Two city slickers decide they were going to go bear hunting.
They arranged for a cabin in the deep woods. Joe was to cook breakfast and Zeke was going to go out and scout around for a bear...but when he found one, it charged at him and he forgot to load his rifle and dropped it and ran for the cabin. As he tried to run up the step to the door, he fell and the bear ran right by him and broke through the door and in to the cabin!
Zeke jumped up and closed the door and hollered, "Here's one Joe, dress him out, I'm going after another."
Classic line from the movie Jeremiah Johnson, starring Robert Redford. Great flick.
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back. now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"
And that's how the fight started.
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car. Being short, like many elderly woman are, neither of them could barely see over the dashboard.
As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The top light was red, but they just drove straight on through it.
The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, “I must be losing it, I could have sworn we just went through a red light.”
After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection, and this time the light was red again, and again they went right through.
This time the woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red, but was really concerned that she was losing it.
She was getting really nervous now, and decided to pay very close attention to the road and sat up straighter to see what was going on
At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red, and they sailed right on through it.
She turned to the other woman and said, “Mildred, did you know we just ran through three red lights in a row! You could have killed us.”
Mildred turned to her and said, “Oh Shit, am I driving?
Comments
A nice, calm, and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, “I would like to buy some cyanide.”
The pharmacist asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”
The lady replied, “I need it to poison my husband..”
The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he exclaimed, “Lord have mercy! I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!”
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and said,
“You didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”
Cheers, RickO
"When they can't find anything wrong with you, they create it!"
"When they can't find anything wrong with you, they create it!"
I often wonder if women wearing the tight legged pants of today's fashion realize how big it makes their butt look!
Damm, the boat is moving very fast, so, if I jump from the upper deck down to the lower deck is the boat going to pass through my jump and make me look like a fool ?
Classic line from the movie Jeremiah Johnson, starring Robert Redford. Great flick.
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back. now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"
And that's how the fight started.
I sure hope the fashion does not go out of style!
That should get the Darwin Award. He didn't need to reproduce.....
"When they can't find anything wrong with you, they create it!"
U.S. Type Set
So that’s how COVID-19 got started 🙈🙈
Lafayette Grading Set
So that’s how COVID-19 got started 🙈🙈
Lafayette Grading Set
So that’s how COVID-19 got started 🙈🙈
Lafayette Grading Set
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
U.S. Type Set
Turns out it was a marble in the ashtray...
Cheers, RickO
Cheers, RickO
Cheers, RickO
"When they can't find anything wrong with you, they create it!"
Cheers, RickO
Cheers, RickO
Baby Archie said his first word.
It was "Mother".
Then he said his second word.
The Mysterious Egyptian Magic Coin
Coins in Movies
Coins on Television
Father???
Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe.
Voltaire: Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value---zero.
Starts with an F
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car. Being short, like many elderly woman are, neither of them could barely see over the dashboard.
As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The top light was red, but they just drove straight on through it.
The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, “I must be losing it, I could have sworn we just went through a red light.”
After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection, and this time the light was red again, and again they went right through.
This time the woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red, but was really concerned that she was losing it.
She was getting really nervous now, and decided to pay very close attention to the road and sat up straighter to see what was going on
At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red, and they sailed right on through it.
She turned to the other woman and said, “Mildred, did you know we just ran through three red lights in a row! You could have killed us.”
Mildred turned to her and said, “Oh Shit, am I driving?
The Larry Bird tomato
U.S. Type Set
Cheers, RickO
Cheers, RickO
Cheers, RickO
Cheers, RickO
"When they can't find anything wrong with you, they create it!"
File that one under bad ideas or decisions.