The forum needs a little humor.

marcmoish · June 3, 2021 6:49PM

Coinscratch · June 3, 2021 7:06PM

@bearcave said:

@CoinscratchFever said:

@ricko said:
On the first day after his divorce, he sadly packed his belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.
On the second day, he had the movers come and collect his things.
On the third day, he sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining-room table, by candle-light; he put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, a bottle of spring-water, 3 cans of sardines.
When he'd finished, he went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimps dipped in caviar, and some sardines into the hollow center of the curtain rods.
He then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
On the fourth day, the wife came back with her new boyfriend, and at first all was bliss.
Then, slowly, the house began to smell.
They tried everything; cleaning, mopping, and airing-out the place. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned.
Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which time the two had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked!...People stopped coming over to visit.
Repairmen refused to work in the house...The maid quit.
Finally, they couldn't take the stench any longer, and decided they had to move, but a month later - even though they'd cut their price in half - they couldn't find a buyer for such a stinky house.
Word got out, and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.
Finally, unable to wait any longer for a purchaser, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.
Then the ex called the woman and asked how things were going. She told him the saga of the rotting house. He listened politely and said that he missed his old home terribly and would be willing to reduce his divorce settlement in exchange for having the house.
Knowing he could have no idea how bad the smell really was, she agreed on a price that was only 1/10nth of what the house had been worth ... but only if he would sign the papers that very day.
He agreed, and within two hours her lawyers delivered the completed paperwork.
A week later the woman and her boyfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home and to spite the ex-husband... they even took the curtain rods!
I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?
Cheers, RickO

“Too long to read”

What else you got to do? 🙃

Hint: throw the first pitch.

QE Guy · June 3, 2021 11:24PM

QE Guy · June 3, 2021 11:25PM

ifthevamzarockin · June 3, 2021 11:40PM

emeraldATV · June 4, 2021 12:09AM

"Where the heck are we"?

Ma !
I just saw arrows and next thing ya know the team got spooked.

marcmoish · June 4, 2021 6:53AM

First World Problems

I can’t quite get the Zoom lighting quite right in my Hawaiian condo because the palm trees are swaying.
My house has a motion detector faucet in the kitchen but my lake house doesn’t, and it takes me a day to adjust.
My 8-year-old son Sage’s lacrosse coach moved away to help his parents, and Sage doesn’t like the new guy.
Because of COVID seating at the Denver Nuggets’ Ball Arena, I’m up four rows from my usual seats.
My wife says her Christian Louboutin’s don’t fit quite right.

1630Boston · June 4, 2021 7:28AM

I just couldn't bring myself to honk my horn at this guy this morning when he stopped at a green light in front of me.

ricko · June 4, 2021 8:04AM

Cheers, RickO

WillieBoyd2 · June 4, 2021 8:52AM

From the news:
FDA issues warning about eating cicadas
(FDA is US Food and Drug Administration and cicadas are insects)

Steven59 · June 4, 2021 8:54AM

Steven59 · June 4, 2021 8:55AM

hammer1 · June 4, 2021 9:39AM

asheland · June 4, 2021 10:16AM

@Steven59 said:
"Popcorn Sutton" - He was a "HOOT"! Till he "shot"

I met him many years ago, he was in my local area.

ricko · June 4, 2021 10:20AM

A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. 'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out. 'What have you got there, dear?' With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear!'

Cheers, RickO