Someone asked Calvin Coolidge ,when he came out of church, what the preacher talked about. Calvin Coolidge said " Sin ". The person then asked Calvin Coolidge what the preacher had to say about it. Calvin Coolidge said " He was against it ".
A man goes to his doctor.
He says, "Doc, you gotta check my leg. Something's wrong. Just put your ear up to my thigh, you'll hear it!"
The doctor cautiously placed his ear to the man's thigh only to hear, "Gimme 20 bucks, I really need 20 bucks."
"I've never seen or heard anything like this before, how long has this been going on." The doctor asked.
"That's nothing Doc. put your ear to my knee."
The doctor put his ear to the man's knee and heard it say "Man, I really need 10 dollars, just lend me 10 bucks!!"
"Sir, I really don't know what to tell you. I've never seen anything like this." The doctor was dumbfounded.
"Wait Doc, that's not it. There's more, just put your ear up to my ankle," the man urged him.
The doctor did as the man said and was blown away to hear his ankle plead, "Please, I just need 5 dollars. Lend me 5 bucks please if you will."
"I have no idea what to tell you," the doctor said. "There's nothing about it in my books," he said as he frantically searched all his medical reference books. "I can make a well educated guess though. Based on life and all my previous experience I can tell you that your leg seems to be broke in three places."
A retired businessman tells his doctor that he’s incapable of doing all the things around the house that he used to do.
When the examination is over, the guy says.......
“Okay, Doctor. In plain English—what’s wrong with me?”
“Well, in plain English,” says the doctor,....
“you’re just lazy.”
The man nods....then says to the doctor...
“Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife.”
@hammer1 said:
A man goes to his doctor.
He says, "Doc, you gotta check my leg. Something's wrong. Just put your ear up to my thigh, you'll hear it!"
The doctor cautiously placed his ear to the man's thigh only to hear, "Gimme 20 bucks, I really need 20 bucks."
"I've never seen or heard anything like this before, how long has this been going on." The doctor asked.
"That's nothing Doc. put your ear to my knee."
The doctor put his ear to the man's knee and heard it say "Man, I really need 10 dollars, just lend me 10 bucks!!"
"Sir, I really don't know what to tell you. I've never seen anything like this." The doctor was dumbfounded.
"Wait Doc, that's not it. There's more, just put your ear up to my ankle," the man urged him.
The doctor did as the man said and was blown away to hear his ankle plead, "Please, I just need 5 dollars. Lend me 5 bucks please if you will."
"I have no idea what to tell you," the doctor said. "There's nothing about it in my books," he said as he frantically searched all his medical reference books. "I can make a well educated guess though. Based on life and all my previous experience I can tell you that your leg seems to be broke in three places."
@hammer1 said:
A man goes to his doctor.
He says, "Doc, you gotta check my leg. Something's wrong. Just put your ear up to my thigh, you'll hear it!"
The doctor cautiously placed his ear to the man's thigh only to hear, "Gimme 20 bucks, I really need 20 bucks."
"I've never seen or heard anything like this before, how long has this been going on." The doctor asked.
"That's nothing Doc. put your ear to my knee."
The doctor put his ear to the man's knee and heard it say "Man, I really need 10 dollars, just lend me 10 bucks!!"
"Sir, I really don't know what to tell you. I've never seen anything like this." The doctor was dumbfounded.
"Wait Doc, that's not it. There's more, just put your ear up to my ankle," the man urged him.
The doctor did as the man said and was blown away to hear his ankle plead, "Please, I just need 5 dollars. Lend me 5 bucks please if you will."
"I have no idea what to tell you," the doctor said. "There's nothing about it in my books," he said as he frantically searched all his medical reference books. "I can make a well educated guess though. Based on life and all my previous experience I can tell you that your leg seems to be broke in three places."
That's realllyyy bad!
Who are you?
Looked at some of your recent posts. Seems you like trolling.
I was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
I was not happy with what I saw and said to my wife, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat, and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.”
She replied, "Your eyesight's darn near perfect."
And then the fight started.
A woman walked into a bakery and asked the lady behind the
counter, "What do you have with no fat and no sugar?"
After a thoughtful pause the lady replied, "Napkins!"
So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by
looking at them.
I'm always disappointed when a blatant liar's pants don't actually
catch on fire.
I don't always go the extra mile, but when I do, it's because I
missed my exit.
A man goes to the doctor, worried about his wife’s temper.
The doctor asks, “What’s the problem?”
The man says, “Doctor, I don’t know what to do. Every day my wife seems to lose her temper for no reason. It scares me.”
The doctor says, “I have a cure for that. When it seems that your wife is getting angry, just take a glass of water and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish but don’t swallow it until she either leaves the room or calms down.”
Two weeks later, the man comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.
The man says, “Doctor, that was a brilliant idea! Every time my wife started losing it, I swished with water. I swished and swished, and she calmed right down! How does a glass of water do that?”
The doctor says, “The water itself does nothing. It’s keeping your mouth shut that does the trick.”
Comments
When a group of tourists visited a crocodile farm, the owner of the place launched a bold proposal;
No one dared to move, suddenly, a man jumped into the water and desperately swam to the shore while being chased by all the crocodiles.
With enormous luck came, taking everyone's admiration at the scene, then the owner announced;
After collecting his reward, the couple returned to the hotel, upon arrival, the manager told him; he was very brave to jump, then the man said;
His wife smiled...
Moral: ′′ Behind every successful man, there's a woman who pushes him
Kennedys are my quest...
Cheers, RickO
That is hilarious!
My son has a T-shirt that says:
If you say "gullible" very slowly it sounds like "oranges"
It was funny until his grandma tried it.
Someone asked Calvin Coolidge ,when he came out of church, what the preacher talked about. Calvin Coolidge said " Sin ". The person then asked Calvin Coolidge what the preacher had to say about it. Calvin Coolidge said " He was against it ".
Sorry, I already got the Vette for a package of toilet paper last year.
S.O.S., Its not just for breakfast, anymore.
Yo dog, you ordered out and not in.
Honey, ask the DJ to play, Three Blind Mice its her favorite song to catwalk too.
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
(The scene: a junior high science class.)
Teacher: A single ant can live to be 29 years old!
Student: How ‘bout a married one?
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
Probably better for Medal Detecting Forum, but done by a friend of mine.
DPOTD-3
'Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery'
CU #3245 B.N.A. #428
Don
A man goes to his doctor.
He says, "Doc, you gotta check my leg. Something's wrong. Just put your ear up to my thigh, you'll hear it!"
The doctor cautiously placed his ear to the man's thigh only to hear, "Gimme 20 bucks, I really need 20 bucks."
"I've never seen or heard anything like this before, how long has this been going on." The doctor asked.
"That's nothing Doc. put your ear to my knee."
The doctor put his ear to the man's knee and heard it say "Man, I really need 10 dollars, just lend me 10 bucks!!"
"Sir, I really don't know what to tell you. I've never seen anything like this." The doctor was dumbfounded.
"Wait Doc, that's not it. There's more, just put your ear up to my ankle," the man urged him.
The doctor did as the man said and was blown away to hear his ankle plead, "Please, I just need 5 dollars. Lend me 5 bucks please if you will."
"I have no idea what to tell you," the doctor said. "There's nothing about it in my books," he said as he frantically searched all his medical reference books. "I can make a well educated guess though. Based on life and all my previous experience I can tell you that your leg seems to be broke in three places."
A retired businessman tells his doctor that he’s incapable of doing all the things around the house that he used to do.
When the examination is over, the guy says.......
“Okay, Doctor. In plain English—what’s wrong with me?”
“Well, in plain English,” says the doctor,....
“you’re just lazy.”
The man nods....then says to the doctor...
“Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife.”
Cheers, RickO
The teacher asked her students to make a sentence using the word "benign".
One student said, Four plus five benign.
That's realllyyy bad!
Smitten with DBLCs.
Who are you?
Looked at some of your recent posts. Seems you like trolling.
You don't like a joke, keep it to yourself.
This is what happens when posting while.............
Great transactions with oih82w8, JasonGaming, Moose1913.
I have a confession. I spent some of the best years of my life in the arms of another man's wife. My mother.
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown
Coinsof1984@martinb6830 on twitter
Explore your local National Park and feel free to get wet.
Safely,
What's these two doing?
P.S. Pick up a map first, it's not a water park.
I was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
I was not happy with what I saw and said to my wife, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat, and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.”
She replied, "Your eyesight's darn near perfect."
And then the fight started.
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
A woman walked into a bakery and asked the lady behind the
counter, "What do you have with no fat and no sugar?"
After a thoughtful pause the lady replied, "Napkins!"
So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by
looking at them.
I'm always disappointed when a blatant liar's pants don't actually
catch on fire.
I don't always go the extra mile, but when I do, it's because I
missed my exit.
And its so cool, one thing though, I like to call it St. Louis.
.
.
.
What? The fish is having kittens!
It's snowing lava outside get my water pick so I can comb my hair.
Never forget the purple frog dinosaur.
Wow , a beer and lunch.
These meals on wheels are farout.
Ahh he's so shy ...
Merry Christmas, Bule.
I know what you were trying to do.....but unfortunately it only encourages him.
Remember the heavy duty metal trash can lids?
.
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Bad transactions with : nobody to date
Life…
I hate when a couple argues in public, and I missed the beginning and don’t know whose side I’m on.
When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, “Why, what did you hear?”
I don’t remember much from last night, but the fact that I needed sunglasses to open the fridge this morning tells me it was awesome.
It’s the start of a brand-new day, and I’m off like a herd of turtles.
No.
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Bad transactions with : nobody to date
😂
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
Yes @hammer1
This took awhile also, trying to figure out where the nozzle was
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
A man goes to the doctor, worried about his wife’s temper.
The doctor asks, “What’s the problem?”
The man says, “Doctor, I don’t know what to do. Every day my wife seems to lose her temper for no reason. It scares me.”
The doctor says, “I have a cure for that. When it seems that your wife is getting angry, just take a glass of water and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish but don’t swallow it until she either leaves the room or calms down.”
Two weeks later, the man comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.
The man says, “Doctor, that was a brilliant idea! Every time my wife started losing it, I swished with water. I swished and swished, and she calmed right down! How does a glass of water do that?”
The doctor says, “The water itself does nothing. It’s keeping your mouth shut that does the trick.”
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...