A couple years ago, a friend had given me a box of about 500 stick
people stickers that included adults, kids and animals.
I like going to the big shopping centers, looking for cars with the
stick people on them, and I add a kid or two and/or a pet ....
The Washington Post's Style Invitational asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
The winners include:
-Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
-Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
-Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
-Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
-Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
So an elderly Italian man living alone in New Jersey wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, since the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:
Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over.. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love, Papa
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Pop,
Don’t dig up that garden. That’s where the bodies are buried.
Love,
Vinnie
At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Pop,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you,
Vinnie
Thanks to John Nanney's Discovery I stumbled upon this Great Forum and learned I had received the 2008-W ASE with 2007 Reverse from the U.S. Mint.
@1630Boston said:
"I wrote down the names of all the people I hate on a piece of paper, but my roommate used it to roll up a joint. Now he’s high on the list of people I never want to talk to again."
Are you getting all of these out of some book? If so, please tell me the name of it so I don't accidentally buy it!
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(Just kidding, they're amusing)
@1630Boston said:
"I wrote down the names of all the people I hate on a piece of paper, but my roommate used it to roll up a joint. Now he’s high on the list of people I never want to talk to again."
.
I used to like to go to the Dollar Store and purchase a bag of little
rubber snakes (10 to a bag) and go to the farmers market and the
grocery store and stick them in the lettuce then step back a little
and watch the reaction of people ....
I do the best I can to make my wife happy - but sometimes I cannot win ....
This was one of her not happy days - pictured are actual structures she has now
Comments
Me this morning trying for a ase😂
🎶 shout shout, let it all out 🎶
My Wife's Observation .... Single vrs. Married
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Bad transactions with : nobody to date
My Wife's Tax Tips
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Bad transactions with : nobody to date
My Wife Mary Likes To Give Advice
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb, Ricko
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
.
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb, Ricko
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
My Wife's Sarcasm
Halloween Is Coming - Who Wants To Go Trick Or Treating With My Wife .....
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb, Ricko
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
Announcers Tear Into Sorority Girls At A Baseball Game
https://youtu.be/4URj2bICgQM
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Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb, Ricko
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
A couple years ago, a friend had given me a box of about 500 stick
people stickers that included adults, kids and animals.
I like going to the big shopping centers, looking for cars with the
stick people on them, and I add a kid or two and/or a pet ....
CIA_Safehouse_08 for me.
One more before I go to bed.
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Good night 💤
🎶 shout shout, let it all out 🎶
!
Oh Jeez - that pretty much sums up my life when I got married -
"When they can't find anything wrong with you, they create it!"
My new Rossco automatic micro zapper app works like a singer.
Even Tho I Try My Best - I Just Cannot Win .....
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
So, I'm considering moving to New Orleans and opening a coin shop specializing in Morgan dollar varieties. I'm going to call it VAM Down By The River.
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb, Ricko
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb, Ricko
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
The Washington Post's Style Invitational asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
The winners include:
-Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
-Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
-Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
-Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
-Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
So an elderly Italian man living alone in New Jersey wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, since the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:
Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over.. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love, Papa
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Pop,
Don’t dig up that garden. That’s where the bodies are buried.
Love,
Vinnie
At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Pop,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you,
Vinnie
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb, Ricko
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
DEFINITION OF "SERVICE"
I became confused when I heard the word
" Service " being used with these agencies:
1, Internal Revenue "Service".
2, U.S. Postal "Service".
3, Telephone "Service".
4, Cable T.V. "Service".
5, Civil "Service".
6, State, City, County & Public "Service".
7, Customer " Service".
This is not what I thought "Service" meant.
But today I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull to "Service" a few cows.
BAM !!! It all came into focus.
Now I understand what all those agencies are doing!
Are you getting all of these out of some book? If so, please tell me the name of it so I don't accidentally buy it!
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.
.
.
.
.
(Just kidding, they're amusing)
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I'm building a roach hotel...
but I forgot the directions.
I'm building a roach hotel..
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Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb, Ricko
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
I used to like to go to the Dollar Store and purchase a bag of little
rubber snakes (10 to a bag) and go to the farmers market and the
grocery store and stick them in the lettuce then step back a little
and watch the reaction of people ....
Pete
I do the best I can to make my wife happy - but sometimes I cannot win ....
This was one of her not happy days - pictured are actual structures she has now
Family just got back from out of towner. Chocolate coins for grandpa 🤠
🎶 shout shout, let it all out 🎶