A man walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder.
The bartender says, “What an interesting pet, what’s its name?”
“Tiny” the man replies.
“What an odd name, why do you call him Tiny?”
“Because...he’s my newt.”
A guy walks into a bar with a frog on his head. The bar tender asks, "Where'd you get him?" The frog replies, "Well, it all started out as a wart on my ass."
USAF (Ret) 1974 - 1994 - The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries. Remembering RickO, a brother in arms.
Interviewer: “How do you explain this 4-year gap in your resume?
Me: “That’s when I went to Yale.”
Interviewer: “That’s impressive. You’re hired!”
Me: “Thank you! I really need this Yob.”
ATOMIC MASS: Accepted as 118lbs known to vary from 95 to 550lbs
OCCURRENCE: Copious quantities throughout the world.
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:
1. Surface usually covered with a painted film.
2. Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter if incorrectly used.
5. Found in various states ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
6. Yields to pressure applied to correct points.
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES
1. Has great affinity for gold, silver, platinum and precious stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3. May explode without prior warning and for no known reason.
4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increased by saturation in alcohol.
5. Most powerful money-reducing agent known to man.
TESTS:
1. Pure specimen turns rosey pink when discovered in natural state.
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.
HAZARDS:
1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
2. Illegal to possess more than one.
3. Extremely volatile when disposing of regardless of level of caution and care exercised.
Stranded, stranded on the toilet bowl.
What do you do when your stranded, and you can't find a roll?
To prove your a man you must....?
Here kitty kitty...
What ?
She's losing her dentures or someone's foot is sticking out of her mouth!
Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe.
"Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value---zero."----Voltaire
"Everything you say should be true, but not everything true should be said."----Voltaire
Comments
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
A man walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder.
The bartender says, “What an interesting pet, what’s its name?”
“Tiny” the man replies.
“What an odd name, why do you call him Tiny?”
“Because...he’s my newt.”
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
My cat is aware of the calendar but he’s pushing it 🙀
🎶 shout shout, let it all out 🎶
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
Pete
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
A guy walks into a bar with a frog on his head. The bar tender asks, "Where'd you get him?" The frog replies, "Well, it all started out as a wart on my ass."
USAF (Ret) 1974 - 1994 - The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries. Remembering RickO, a brother in arms.
A MESSAGE TO ALL THE LADIES FROM MY WIFE ....
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
My little piggies love to wrestle 🙀
🎶 shout shout, let it all out 🎶
Ain't that the truth.
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Interviewer: “How do you explain this 4-year gap in your resume?
Me: “That’s when I went to Yale.”
Interviewer: “That’s impressive. You’re hired!”
Me: “Thank you! I really need this Yob.”
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
WOMAN: A Chemical Analysis
ELEMENT: Woman
SYMBOL: Wo
DISCOVERER: Adam
ATOMIC MASS: Accepted as 118lbs known to vary from 95 to 550lbs
OCCURRENCE: Copious quantities throughout the world.
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:
1. Surface usually covered with a painted film.
2. Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter if incorrectly used.
5. Found in various states ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
6. Yields to pressure applied to correct points.
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES
1. Has great affinity for gold, silver, platinum and precious stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3. May explode without prior warning and for no known reason.
4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increased by saturation in alcohol.
5. Most powerful money-reducing agent known to man.
TESTS:
1. Pure specimen turns rosey pink when discovered in natural state.
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.
HAZARDS:
1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
2. Illegal to possess more than one.
3. Extremely volatile when disposing of regardless of level of caution and care exercised.
U.S. Type Set
When Guys Bother My Wife On Facebook - She Posts This To Them:
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Stranded, stranded on the toilet bowl.
What do you do when your stranded, and you can't find a roll?
To prove your a man you must....?
Here kitty kitty...
What ?
I got this little buddy...meow
She's losing her dentures or someone's foot is sticking out of her mouth!
Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe.
"Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value---zero."----Voltaire
"Everything you say should be true, but not everything true should be said."----Voltaire
Want to spook your neighbors - I had a little fun doing this
Al Varelas / USMC
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
The Mint
Customer service
Billing
Shipping
Management
🎶 shout shout, let it all out 🎶
On politicians
We hang petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
Aesop
A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.
Texas Guinan
I offered my opponents a deal: If they stopped telling lies about
me, I'd stop telling the truth about them.
Adlai Stevenson
I don't make jokes. I just watch the Government and report the
facts!
Will Rogers
I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter
to be left to the politicians.
Charles de Gaulle