The forum needs a little humor.

jkrk · July 9, 2021 6:14PM

An oldie...

A man and his family walk into a bar. Inside of the bar, the man's youngest child sees a Native American sitting under a sign stating "World's longest memory".

The child walks up to sign and decides to test if this sign is true.

The child asks, "What did you have for breakfast 30 years ago?"

The Native American states, "eggs."

The child states that the native could have just made that up, and then later leaves the bar.

Years later, when the child returns back with his own family he sees the same native at the bar.

Walking up to the man, he states a stereotypical, "how?!"

The Native replies, "scrambled."

jkrk · July 9, 2021 6:25PM

An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him: "We're not coming out until you leave!"

The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked."

Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligators!"

emeraldATV · July 10, 2021 12:17AM

"Be out of your way in a second".

Proceed.

QE Guy · July 10, 2021 12:17AM

emeraldATV · July 10, 2021 12:59AM

You don't know the half of it.
And that's that.

bearcave · July 10, 2021 5:11AM

Looks like a cat smoking!

@emeraldATV said:
You don't know the half of it.
And that's that.

metalmeister · July 10, 2021 9:28AM

Mental note. Park truck far away.

QE Guy · July 10, 2021 12:14PM

Oldhoopster · July 10, 2021 12:49PM

Obviously, this school district isn't known for it's science, math, or industrial arts programs

USSID17 · July 10, 2021 2:09PM

Send In The Clowns. Personally I miss them.

These days are gone forever!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9CbgSj8CdY

ricko · July 10, 2021 2:39PM

Cheers, RickO

ricko · July 10, 2021 2:52PM

Cheers, RickO

Oldhoopster · July 10, 2021 3:12PM

pocketpiececommems · July 10, 2021 5:32PM

Does anyone remember how to make a clothes pin gun using two clothes pins like these. You could shoot kernels of corn with it

WAYNEAS · July 10, 2021 6:06PM

Wayne

WAYNEAS · July 10, 2021 6:08PM

Wayne

WAYNEAS · July 10, 2021 6:15PM

Wayne

hammer1 · July 10, 2021 6:36PM

@pocketpiececommems said:

Does anyone remember how to make a clothes pin gun using two clothes pins like these. You could shoot kernels of corn with it

We would make ones that would ignite a wooden match as you shot it.

The vids you find on Google only show you how to shoot prelit matches. Ours would ignite the unlit match, and propel it. I don't remember the steps, but if you look hard enough you'll find it.

PipestonePete · July 10, 2021 6:40PM

@pocketpiececommems said:

Does anyone remember how to make a clothes pin gun using two clothes pins like these. You could shoot kernels of corn with it

We used them to shoot Diamond stick matches. If you loaded the match in head first it would ignite the match and launch it about 15'. You really don't need the second clothes pin except to use one of the wooden sections to "cock" the gun made out of the first clothespin.

marcmoish · July 10, 2021 7:43PM

marcmoish · July 10, 2021 7:44PM

QE Guy · July 10, 2021 11:40PM

emeraldATV · July 11, 2021 12:12AM

My first traffic ticket. Texting at a railroad crossing, waiting for the lights to start flashing.
She told me.
" And by a robo cop, right in front of you" ?
Na, she's to smart for that move.

emeraldATV · July 11, 2021 1:55AM

Ben,
What are Ye up too, now ? Come out from behind there.
That lantern's spitting allover the other ones. Wow, its trained to put out fires?

emeraldATV · July 11, 2021 3:11AM

Par lay vue Fance'?
Bennn..?. Jump down,
I need a twerp.

PerryHall · July 11, 2021 4:38AM

@emeraldATV Just when I though your posts couldn't any more weirder.

bearcave · July 11, 2021 6:04AM

@Oldhoopster said:

I have one of those in my side! Very funny!

WAYNEAS · July 11, 2021 6:35AM

Wayne

braddick · July 11, 2021 8:13AM

metalmeister · July 11, 2021 8:41AM

marcmoish · July 11, 2021 9:34AM

Don’t be worried about your smartphone or TV spying on you. Your vacuum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for years!

WAYNEAS · July 11, 2021 9:41AM

@metalmeister said:

>
>
Next Slide!
click
click
>
>

Wayne

1630Boston · July 11, 2021 10:49AM

1630Boston · July 11, 2021 10:50AM

hammer1 · July 11, 2021 10:57AM

@1630Boston said:

Ingenious. It appears they tied off the stepladder to the extension ladder.

Bullsitter · July 11, 2021 11:29AM

bearcave · July 11, 2021 11:30AM

😮

BuffaloIronTail · July 11, 2021 12:43PM

Pete

SkyMan · July 11, 2021 12:53PM

Richard Branson launched on Virgin Galactic's rocket plane today. Here's an ad by a British pickle company called Branston.

WAYNEAS · July 11, 2021 12:57PM

Wayne

Steven59 · July 11, 2021 4:17PM

I do, ......

bearcave · July 11, 2021 4:26PM

Me too! 😂

Smudge · July 11, 2021 4:33PM

@Steven59 said:
I do, ......

And they checked your oil and air pressure, and washed your windshield.

BJandTundra · July 11, 2021 4:52PM

Worked in one of these "full service" stations in the fifties and early sixties. Had to drop what I was doing and run out front to the fuel pumps for nothing every time some **fool kid **stomped on the bell hose. Now I know who it was.

hammer1 · July 11, 2021 4:57PM

@Smudge said:

@Steven59 said:
I do, ......

And they checked your oil and air pressure, and washed your windshield.

If you put 15 gallons in, you would still get money back from a fiver.

bearcave · July 11, 2021 4:59PM

The full service gas stations are out of business around here or they are help yourself. 😮
They were around here till the 90's.

Steven59 · July 11, 2021 5:09PM

@bearcave said:
The full service gas stations are out of business around here or they are help yourself. 😮
They were around here till the 90's.

There still are a few "Full Service" stations around our area. How else can Old age people get gas in there cars without any hassle?? Thinking this may be the new way to make a million dollar Idea...... link it with a grocery store............... You owe me a finders fee - LOL!!!!

bearcave · July 11, 2021 7:02PM

There was no inside store of any kind, does yours have inside store? The people came out of a little building and filled your vehicle with gas, checked the wiper fluid and cleaned the windshield. The gas stations are all out of business now. If they linked to a grocery store they might have stayed! 🤑

pocketpiececommems · July 11, 2021 7:33PM

@metalmeister said:

Why women live longer than men

ms70 · July 11, 2021 7:47PM

@hammer1 said:

@Smudge said:

@Steven59 said:
I do, ......

And they checked your oil and air pressure, and washed your windshield.

If you put 15 gallons in, you would still get money back from a fiver.

And a soda glass or some other free item each time you filled up.

The forum needs a little humor.

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