The forum needs a little humor.

ricko · May 19, 2021 10:01AM

Cheers, RickO

ricko · May 19, 2021 10:03AM

Cheers, RickO

bearcave · May 19, 2021 11:15AM

🙂

1630Boston · May 19, 2021 12:20PM

SkyMan · May 19, 2021 2:42PM

1630Boston · May 19, 2021 5:30PM

@SkyMan said:

looks like my son

1630Boston · May 19, 2021 5:30PM

emeraldATV · May 20, 2021 1:09AM

Fa, stop teasing the bats with your sonar.

marcmoish · May 20, 2021 3:24AM

1630Boston · May 20, 2021 5:05AM

1630Boston · May 20, 2021 6:22AM

marcmoish · May 20, 2021 7:03AM

In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the Mystic delivered grave news:
"There's no easy way to tell you this, so I'll just be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow.
Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."
Visibly shaken, Jenn stared at the woman's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands.
She took a few deep breaths to compose herself… and to stop her mind racing.
She simply had to know.
She met the Fortune Teller's gaze, steadied her voice, and asked, "And will I be acquitted?"

hammer1 · May 20, 2021 7:05AM

BuffaloIronTail · May 20, 2021 7:44AM

Pete

1630Boston · May 20, 2021 11:17AM

marcmoish · May 20, 2021 12:08PM

1630Boston · May 20, 2021 12:38PM

hammer1 · May 20, 2021 1:00PM

An Arab Sheik says to an American tourist. “Mr. Smith, your wife, she is beautiful. I must have her. I will trade you for her weight in gold.”
Mr. Smith says, “Can you give me a few days.”
The Sheik asks, “To think it over?”
Mr. Smith says, “No. To fatten her up.”

1630Boston · May 20, 2021 1:07PM

dpoole · May 20, 2021 2:04PM

@1630Boston said:

@SkyMan said:

looks like my son

Looks like my son, too!!

Could be a generational problem.

SkyMan · May 20, 2021 3:29PM

ms70 · May 20, 2021 7:05PM

ms70 · May 20, 2021 7:13PM

emeraldATV · May 21, 2021 1:48AM

Oh, Wrong Department.

1984worldcoins · May 21, 2021 3:00AM

1630Boston · May 21, 2021 5:08AM

WAYNEAS · May 21, 2021 7:21AM

Wayne

WAYNEAS · May 21, 2021 7:47AM

Wayne

1630Boston · May 21, 2021 8:10AM

dpoole · May 21, 2021 10:30AM

Lazybones · May 21, 2021 10:42AM

STRANGER: I've been driving up this hill for two hours, isn't there any end to it, farmer?
FARMER: There ain't no hill here, stranger; you just lost your two hind wheels.

WAYNEAS · May 21, 2021 11:05AM

Wayne

WAYNEAS · May 21, 2021 11:07AM

Wayne

ricko · May 21, 2021 11:35AM

The other night, I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight. "I promise," were my last words.

The hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily and around 3 a.m. we piled into a cab and headed to our respective homes, quite inebriated.

Just as I walked through the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times!

Realizing that my husband would probably wake up to this, I quickly cuckooed another 9 times. I was quit pleased with myself for coming up with such a quick witted solution to cover up my tardiness. Even with my impaired judgment, I could count 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos equaled 12 cuckoos!

The next morning, my husband asked me what time I got in, and confidently, I replied, "Midnight...like I promised." He didn't even raise and eyebrow and went on reading the morning paper! Phew! Got away with that one!

After a moment, he then replied, "I think we might need a new cuckoo clock."

A bit nervously, I asked him why, to which he responded:

"Well, last night our clock cuckooed 3 times, then said, 'Oh, crap,' cuckooed 4 more times, cleared it's throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, then tripped over the coffee table and farted."

Cheers, RickO

ricko · May 21, 2021 12:13PM

Cheers, RickO

ricko · May 21, 2021 12:14PM

Cheers, RickO

Dave99B · May 21, 2021 1:51PM

OKbustchaser · May 21, 2021 2:43PM

@dpoole said:

I always wondered about this,,,If it is in my power to decide whether to have a nice day or not then why wouldn't I do so without your telling me to do so?

pocketpiececommems · May 21, 2021 8:08PM

Some good ones in here today

WillieBoyd2 · May 21, 2021 9:17PM

Smith is serving a life sentence for murder.

Thank you for your service.

emeraldATV · May 22, 2021 1:41AM

Pssst...buff
!

Thanks BF !

emeraldATV · May 22, 2021 1:52AM

Granpa, let's run down the hill and pick one out of the heard.

Sonny, lets walk down and heard all of them.

hammer1 · May 22, 2021 7:56AM

The carpenter I hired to help me restore an old farmhouse had just finished a rough first day on the job. A flat tire made him lose an hour of work, his electric saw quit, and now his ancient pickup truck refused to start. While I drove him home, he sat in stony silence.
On arriving, he invited me in to meet his family. As we walked toward the front door, he paused briefly at a small tree, touching the tips of the branches with both hands. When opening the door he underwent an amazing transformation. His tanned face was wreathed in smiles and he hugged his two small children and gave his wife a kiss.
Afterward he walked me to the car. We passed the tree and my curiosity got the better of me. I asked him about what I had seen him do earlier.
“Oh, that’s my trouble tree,” he replied.” I know I can’t help having troubles on the job, but one thing’s for sure, troubles don’t belong in the house with my wife and the children. So I just hang them on the tree every night when I come home. Then in the morning I pick them up again.”
He paused. “Funny thing is,” he smiled, “when I come out in the morning to pick ’em up, there ain’t nearly as many as I remember hanging up the night before.”

QE Guy · May 22, 2021 8:55AM

SkyMan · May 22, 2021 10:32AM

dpoole · May 22, 2021 4:55PM

dpoole · May 22, 2021 4:56PM

OK. This is terrible.

But tell your grandma. She'll think it's hysterical!

BuffaloIronTail · May 22, 2021 4:59PM

Pete

WAYNEAS · May 22, 2021 5:54PM

Wayne

WAYNEAS · May 22, 2021 5:58PM

Wayne

The forum needs a little humor.

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