The forum needs a little humor.

@dpoole said:

Sorry to know where everyone stands politically up to now. We'd been doing so well....

I didn't think this was necessarily "political".... Maybe that's because I don't believe anything they report on.

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.
"Is it true," she wanted to know,
"that the medication you prescribed has to be taken
for the rest of my life?"
"'Yes, I'm afraid so,"' the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence
before the senior lady replied,
"I'm wondering, then,
just how serious is my condition
because this prescription is
marked 'NO REFILLS'.."

Cheers, RickO

One night the 96-year-old draws a bath, puts his foot in and pauses. He yells down the stairs, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"
The 94-year-old yells back, "I don't know, I'll come up and see." He starts up the stairs and pauses, then he yells, "Was I going up the stairs or coming down?"
The 92-year-old was sitting at the kitchen table having coffee listening to his brothers. He shakes his head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful."
He knocks on wood for good luck.
He then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."

Cheers, RickO

This car was on the road in front of the post office when I went to mail some coins today.
Looks like they didn't figure out they had a flat tire until the tie rod end broke.
I would be willing to bet they drove at least 10 miles on it!

Cheers, RickO

How 2020 happened..... Cheers, RickO

Being an old Navy guy... I found this funny... and so believable. Cheers, RickO
THE NAVY "BOOT" ENSIGN!
A very self-important Navy "boot" Ensign right out of the Academy was attending a recent football game.
The Ensign took it upon himself to explain to an old retired Navy Chief sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation.
"You grew up in a different world Chief, actually an almost primitive one," the Ensign said, loud enough for many of those nearby to hear.
"The young people of today grew up with television, jet planes, space travel, man walking on the moon, our spaceships have visited Mars. We have nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers with DSL, BPS, light-speed processing .... and," pausing to take another drink of beer....
The old retired Navy Chief took advantage of the break in the Ensign's litany and said....
"You're right, Ensign......
We didn't have those things when we were young, .. so we invented them. Now, you arrogant little twit, what are you doing for the next generation?"
The applause was deafening.

Who else here loves Emo Philips?!

At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass.
The refill contained the antidote.

I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body.
Then I realized who was telling me this.

Probably... the toughest time... in anyone's life... is when you have to murder a loved one because they're the devil.

How many people here have telekinetic powers? ...Raise my hand.

I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, 'Get off me, you two!'

When I wake up in the morning, I just can't get started until I've had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I've tried other enemas.

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

"Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me." I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"
He said, "Yes." I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" He said, "A Christian." I said, "Me, too!"
Protestant or Catholic?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me, too!"
What franchise?" He said, "Baptist." I said, "Me, too!"
Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?" He said, "Northern Baptist." I said, "Me, too!"
Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist." I said, "Me, too!"
Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region." I said, "Me, too!"
Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912." I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over."

@dpoole said:

Sorry to know where everyone stands politically up to now. We'd been doing so well....

Ugly politics. Please stop.