The forum needs a little humor.

Unknown · August 21, 2020 7:03AM

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hammer1 · August 21, 2020 7:08AM

RonB · August 21, 2020 10:35AM

Smudge · August 21, 2020 11:45AM

Men who tinkle on the seat, haven’t learned to urineat.

1630Boston · August 21, 2020 1:46PM

jkrk · August 21, 2020 1:52PM

A man named Tommy bought a horse from a farmer for $250. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day. The next day, the farmer drove up to Tommy's house and said, “Sorry, son, but I have some bad news. The horse died.”
Tommy replied, “Well, then just give me back my money.”
The farmer said, “Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.”
Tommy said, “Ok, then just bring me the dead horse.”
The farmer asked, “What ya gonna do with him?”
Tommy said, “I’m going to raffle him off.”
The farmer said, “You can’t raffle off a dead horse!”
Tommy said, “Sure I can! Watch me.
A month Later, the farmer met up with Tommy and asked, “What happened with that dead horse?”
Tommy said, “I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at five dollars apiece and made a profit of $2495.”
The farmer said, “Didn’t anyone complain?”
Tommy said, “Just the guy who won. So I gave him back his five dollars.”

marcmoish · August 21, 2020 3:50PM

A guy was driving in a car with a blonde.

He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked.

She stuck her head out and said, "Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes..."

Unknown · August 21, 2020 4:34PM

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1630Boston · August 21, 2020 6:20PM

dpoole · August 21, 2020 8:17PM

Everyone knows that in this Internet era, traditional newspapers are under budgetary strain. Sparer staff and editorial surveillance makes quality control harder.

And ever when newspapers do try to correct oversights, smoetimes they only make things worse. These are actual corrections:

"Our paper carried the notice last week that Mr. Oscar Hoffnagle is a defective on the police force. This was a typographical error. Mr. Hoffnagle, of course, is a detective on the police farce."

"Yesterday we mistakenly reported that a talk was given by a battle-scared hero. We apologize for the error. We obviously meant that the talk was given by a bottle-scarred hero."

"In a recent edition we referred to the chairman of the Chrysler Corporation as Lee Iacoocoo. His real name is Lee Iacacca. The Gazette regrets the error."

oih82w8 · August 21, 2020 8:29PM

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?

RonB · August 21, 2020 9:22PM

IkesT · August 21, 2020 10:11PM

https://www.ebay.com/itm/1967-Washington-Quarter-Quadruple-Clip-Error/333696294726?hash=item4db1d95f46:g:ffkAAOSwiIxfLgTR

mannie gray · August 21, 2020 11:01PM

@IkesT said:
https://www.ebay.com/itm/1967-Washington-Quarter-Quadruple-Clip-Error/333696294726?hash=item4db1d95f46:g:ffkAAOSwiIxfLgTR

Hey buddy....quit slamming my inventory!☹️

WildIdea · August 22, 2020 6:35AM

ricko · August 22, 2020 7:39AM

@WildIdea.... OK... I must be getting old, What am I missing?? Cheers, RickO

Sonorandesertrat · August 22, 2020 7:49AM

@ricko said:
@WildIdea.... OK... I must be getting old, What am I missing?? Cheers, RickO

I think that depends on what he was shopping for.

CCGGG · August 22, 2020 8:37AM

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

DONALD TRUMP: I've been told by my many sources, good sources - they're very good sources - that the chicken crossed the road. All the Fake News wants to do is write nasty things about the road, but it's a really good road. It's a beautiful road. Everyone knows how beautiful it is.
JOE BIDEN: Why did the chicken do the...thing in the...you know the rest.
SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!
BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period.
AOC: Chickens should not be forced to lay eggs! This is because of corporate greed! Eggs should be able to lay themselves.
HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any new problems.
ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

RonB · August 22, 2020 9:00AM

hammer1 · August 22, 2020 9:00AM

I believe it.

BuffaloIronTail · August 22, 2020 9:15AM

Pete

WildIdea · August 22, 2020 9:37AM

@ricko said:
@WildIdea.... OK... I must be getting old, What am I missing?? Cheers, RickO

Haha, @ricko, that billfold size pad is the passenger seat. It’s all the rear end comfort this chopper offers so thinking it’s a nod to riding solo. My wife saying oh yeah right......

Sonorandesertrat · August 22, 2020 9:52AM

Well, I thought it was also partly about a choice between the woman or the bike.

WildIdea · August 22, 2020 10:00AM

@Sonorandesertrat said:
Well, I thought I was also partly about a choice between the woman or the bike.

I can see that!

amwldcoin · August 22, 2020 10:12AM

Is that type of seat which would focus vibrations in a certain area why hardtails have certain reputation?

@WildIdea said:

@ricko said:
@WildIdea.... OK... I must be getting old, What am I missing?? Cheers, RickO

Haha, @ricko, that billfold size pad is the passenger seat. It’s all the rear end comfort this chopper offers so thinking it’s a nod to riding solo. My wife saying oh yeah right......

ricko · August 22, 2020 10:56AM

@WildIdea.... Thank you, I saw that little 'whatever' but thought it was her change purse or something. Wow. Cheers, RickO

ricko · August 22, 2020 11:04AM

A Chinese Doctor can't find a job in a Hospital in the US, so he opens his own clinic and puts a sign outside
'GET TREATMENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100.'
An American lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic.
Lawyer: 'I have lost my sense of taste.'
Chinese: 'Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 22 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth.'
Lawyer: 'Ugh. this is kerosene.'
Chinese: 'Congrats, your sense of taste is restored. Give me $20.'
The annoyed lawyer goes back after a few days to recover his money.
Lawyer: 'I have lost my memory. I cannot remember anything.'
Chinese: 'Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in his mouth.'
Lawyer (annoyed): 'This is kerosene. You gave this to me last time for restoring my taste.'
Chinese: 'Congrats. You got your memory back. Give me $20.'
The fuming lawyer pays him, and then comes back a week later determined to get back $100.
Lawyer: 'My eyesight has become very weak I can't see at all.'
Chinese: 'Well, I don't have any medicine for that, so take this $100.'
Lawyer (staring at the note): 'But this is $20, not $100!!'
Chinese: 'Congrats, your eyesight is restored. Give me $20'

Cheers, RickO

hammer1 · August 22, 2020 11:25AM

@ricko said:
A Chinese Doctor can't find a job in a Hospital in the US, so he opens his own clinic and puts a sign outside
'GET TREATMENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100.'
An American lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic.
Lawyer: 'I have lost my sense of taste.'
Chinese: 'Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 22 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth.'
Lawyer: 'Ugh. this is kerosene.'
Chinese: 'Congrats, your sense of taste is restored. Give me $20.'
The annoyed lawyer goes back after a few days to recover his money.
Lawyer: 'I have lost my memory. I cannot remember anything.'
Chinese: 'Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in his mouth.'
Lawyer (annoyed): 'This is kerosene. You gave this to me last time for restoring my taste.'
Chinese: 'Congrats. You got your memory back. Give me $20.'
The fuming lawyer pays him, and then comes back a week later determined to get back $100.
Lawyer: 'My eyesight has become very weak I can't see at all.'
Chinese: 'Well, I don't have any medicine for that, so take this $100.'
Lawyer (staring at the note): 'But this is $20, not $100!!'
Chinese: 'Congrats, your eyesight is restored. Give me $20'

Cheers, RickO

My acupuncturist said he was a MD (surgeon) in China. He told me surgeons have to go to the funeral of all their patients that die during surgery.

IDK if it's true or not.

ricko · August 22, 2020 11:53AM

Cheers, RickO

Unknown · August 22, 2020 3:18PM

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marcmoish · August 22, 2020 7:23PM

oih82w8 · August 22, 2020 7:59PM

I met my wife going through a revolving door, and we have been going around ever since.

RonB · August 22, 2020 11:20PM

hammer1 · August 23, 2020 7:25AM

oih82w8 · August 23, 2020 7:26AM

When I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.

Unknown · August 23, 2020 7:37AM

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BuffaloIronTail · August 23, 2020 7:45AM

Pete

SkyMan · August 23, 2020 9:52AM

An old man and his wife have gone to bed. After laying in bed for a few
minutes the old man cut a fart and says "seven points."
His wife rolls over and asks, "What in the world was that?"
The old man says, "Touchdown, I'm ahead 7 to nothing. "A few minutes later
the wife lets one go and says, "Touchdown, tie, score." After about ten
minutes later he old man farts again and says, Touchdown I'm ahead 14 to 7.
Now starting to get into this the wife quickly farts again and says,
"Touchdown, tie score." The old man strains really hard but, to no avail he
can't fart, so not to be outdone by his wife, he gives it everything he has
and strains real hard to get out just one more fart. Straining real hard the
old man tries so hard he poops in the bed. The wife asks, "Now what in the
world was that?"
The old man replies, "Half-time, switch sides."