@1630Boston said:
When the "Terminator" chases you
I watched that live. The truck headed for the Grapevine (hilly, treacherous road if going fast.) So CHP backed off him, and picked him up at the bottom of the Grapevine.
This dog walks into a post office and says to the Postmaster "I need to send a telegram."
The Postmaster says "OK, what is it?"
The dog says "I need it to say, Woof woof woof woof woof woof woof." The Postmaster counts the words and says "Well, for the same price, I can put 3 more "woofs" in for you."
The dog looks at him and says "But then it wouldn't make any sense."
A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE!
There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1- These men Have Jobs
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 2- These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3- These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4- These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.
'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5- These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 6- You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
PLEASE NOTE:
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.
The first floor has wives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited .................
Comments
I watched that live. The truck headed for the Grapevine (hilly, treacherous road if going fast.) So CHP backed off him, and picked him up at the bottom of the Grapevine.
What has a hairless tail, lives in a sewer, and doesn’t give a damn?
Rhatt Butler
Police in Anaconda, MT arrested two kids yesterday.
One was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.
They charged one - and let the other off.
I watched that chase and tackle 10 times
100% Positive BST transactions
Man.....That policeman can run!
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U.S. Type Set
Love it!
Pete
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Bad transactions with : nobody to date
Just got back from the French Creek game farm
.
For Mable, it had been a while since she had a pedicure because of the stay at home orders. But she couldn't figure out why everyone was watching.
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown
I have a dirty joke for ya.......................boy fell in a mud puddle!
U.S. Type Set
Pete
How many of you guys noticed that the cave woman is wearing glasses?
Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe.
Right, there were no optometrists back then.
Maybe she got them on Amazon.
Just in time for the 4th. -Not sure you can patent this, but good idea..
This dog walks into a post office and says to the Postmaster "I need to send a telegram."
The Postmaster says "OK, what is it?"
The dog says "I need it to say, Woof woof woof woof woof woof woof." The Postmaster counts the words and says "Well, for the same price, I can put 3 more "woofs" in for you."
The dog looks at him and says "But then it wouldn't make any sense."
Hookarooni
RMR: 'Wer, wenn ich schriee, hörte mich denn aus der Engel Ordnungen?'
CJ: 'No one!' [Ain't no angels in the coin biz]
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Bad transactions with : nobody to date
I need a Vacation !
A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE!
There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1- These men Have Jobs
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 2- These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3- These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4- These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.
'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5- These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 6- You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
PLEASE NOTE:
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.
The first floor has wives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited .................
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
.
Ya need the one with the gold coin. 
It's back! LOL!
Crap I don't get it ..... over my head I guess!
Maybe it's the solution to coronavirus! Believe I'll have Corona an think about it......
Pete
Perspective....
Well,
Its been a good run.
Let's go Revor.
Hey big boy?
Have any looseys? (A cig)
Funny... but a good point.... Cheers, RickO
String Theory
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@ironmanl63 @bearcave @Drizzt @jedm
String theory is an attempt to unite the two pillars of 20th century physics — quantum mechanics and Albert Einstein's theory of relativity — with an overarching framework that can explain all of physical reality. It tries to do so by positing that particles are actually one-dimensional, string-like entities whose vibrations determine the particles' properties, such as their mass and charge.
String theory is the cutting-edge idea that all fundamental particles are actually tiny vibrating loops of string.
(Image: © Robert Spriggs | Shutterstock)
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Bad transactions with : nobody to date
Honey, let's get off this plane, and take a later flight.
String theory is something Sheldon talked about all the time. I still don't get it!
Many physicists are pushing string theory these days. Any competent engineer could tell them pushing string will never work.
Alright folks, I'm just pulling your string here.
@hammer1 duct tape?