The forum needs a little humor.

1Mike1

I received some sobering news from my wife this morning. She told me she was "interested" in this guy at work. I was beside myself, pissed off and angry, and after fifteen minutes of stewing I remembered she's working from home.

Sonorandesertrat

@1Mike1 said:
I received some sobering news from my wife this morning. She told me she was "interested" in this guy at work. I was beside myself, pissed off and angry, and after fifteen minutes of stewing I remembered she's working from home.

Did you check all of the closets?

hammer1

1Mike1

@1Mike1 said:
A riddle to solve, how do you get an elephant through the eye of a needle? A hint to the answer is you take the w out of what and take the f out of way.

True story, someone got me good on this. The what's a henway joke reminded me of it. I was asked how do you get an elephant through the eye of a needle. They replied you take the w out of what and take the f out of way. So I thought ok what without w is hat and way without f uuuuhhhmmmm what? They said take the f out of way, I LOUDLY proclaimed THERE IS NO "F IN" WAY! They smiled and said exactly. I was had hook, line, sinker, net, and in the boat.

ifthevamzarockin

SaorAlba

Seen on a local "gentlemen's" club marquee the other day...

Sorry, we are clothed!

Smudge

Funny to see toilet paper commercials on tv when you would buy ANY tp on the shelf. What a waste of money.

hammer1

ouch!

ctf_error_coins

I watched my favorite movie again last night.

https://youtu.be/sGUNPMPrxvA

ReadyFireAim

@Smudge said:
Funny to see toilet paper commercials on tv when you would buy ANY tp on the shelf. What a waste of money.

No shortages here....
The Fort Knox of toilet paper.

The largest Procter & Gamble TP factory in the United States is located in Wyoming County, Pa.

Think of that when you're using Charmin.
The truck it was on practically drove past my house.

Sonorandesertrat

So we're supposed to think of you every time we wipe?

ifthevamzarockin

@ReadyFireAim

Is it true they had to deploy 500 troops and 2 apache attack helicopters to protect it?

ReadyFireAim

Right now it's 64 Mega/oz
We could talk but I've got people on the other line

hammer1

Guys we don't want this thread closed. Can we get back to humor?

amwldcoin

I guess this is an LOL! Had my Septic Tank pumped a few months ago for the 1st time. The guy told me the worst Toilet Paper you can use if you have a Septic Tank is Charmin. I guess he speaks from experience!

@ReadyFireAim said:

@Smudge said:
Funny to see toilet paper commercials on tv when you would buy ANY tp on the shelf. What a waste of money.

No shortages here....
The Fort Knox of toilet paper.

The largest Procter & Gamble TP factory in the United States is located in Wyoming County, Pa.

Think of that when you're using Charmin.
The truck it was on practically drove past my house.

SkyMan

PipestonePete

Ralph Steadman.

ifthevamzarockin

.

PipestonePete

dpoole

A squirrel walks into a bar. He asked the bartender:

"Ya got any grapes?"

"No, squirrel. You think this is a grocery store or something? Get lost!!"

The squirrel comes in the next day:

"Ya got any grapes."

"Look, squirrel. I told ya yesterday, I don't have any grapes!! Now get the he## outta here!!

The squirrel comes in again the next day:

"Ya got any grapes?"

"Squirrel, if you come in here again, I'm gonna skin ya and nail your hide to the wall!! Now buzz off!!"

The squirrel comes in the next day:

"Ya got any nails?"

The bartender: "No."

"Great. Ya got any grapes?"

Cameonut

hammer1

You ever see a highway sign that reads:"No Jake Brake"?

logger7

A WELL-PLANNED RETIREMENT
Outside a popular English zoo there is a parking lot that holds 150 cars and 8 buses. For 25 years, its parking fees
($1.50 for cars, $7 for buses) were collected by a very pleasant attendant.
Then, one day, after 25 solid years of never missing a day of work, he just didn’t show up.
Zoo management called the city council and asked them to send another parking attendant.
The council did some research and responded: The parking lot was the zoo’s responsibility.
The zoo advised the council the attendant was a city employee.
The council advised the zoo no one in that role had ever been on the city payroll.
So somewhere, sitting on the patio of his villa by the sea, is a man who apparently, completely on his own, had
a ticket booth installed in the zoo parking lot, then simply began to show up every day to collect and keep the
parking fees, estimated at about $560 per day... for 25 years.
Assuming 7 days a week, this amounts to just over $7 million dollars. ...and no one even knew his name.

emeraldATV

How do ears get boo boos ?
When they get irritated.

Kkathyl

Humor I have plenary of that
I’m the one in the middle

Lucy was taking the wheel this time

Kkathyl

Kkathyl

My new way it start with letter after E and end with It. I feel quarantined even though I have no symptoms I’m just an empty Nester divorced. I’m empty nester might find cool funny video of me on FB. Kathleen Badstibner Long

Stay thirsty my friends

Kathy

Kkathyl

Here’s a funny video made by my girlfriend in first picture

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YkGhQaqERuA&feature=youtu.be

marcmoish

I just gave my wife a dart and a poster of a world map.

I said, "Throw this and wherever it lands I'm taking you on vacation when this pandemic is over."

Turns out we're going to be spending two weeks behind the fridge.

SkyMan

asheland

hammer1

bolivarshagnasty

![](https://us.v-cdn.net

@ifthevamzarockin said:

That mouse found himself between a shock and a hard place.

bearcave

;

emeraldATV

Well this takes the cake.
Oh the humanity.
I have no words, but I'm gonna try.
Belive it or not...."True !"
Dateline, April 6, 2020, Appx 5 pm, in a small town outside Philadelphia.
No names will be changed other than to say a small bird.
Every day in the early part of the afternoon, The local birds bug me to feed them
as they know I have scraps of bread. They even go as far as sitting on the pillars looking in the windows.
Well, they really do have a sense of humor.
One small bird ...."with a small piece of plastic in its beek"
sat there looking in as per the begging process has begun.
OMG... HE'S WEARING A MASK !
Oscar's, not even in this league of comedy.
I almost died on the spot.
Signed and certified by another witness.

mannie gray

@bolivarshagnasty said:
![](https://us.v-cdn.net

@ifthevamzarockin said:

That mouse found himself between a shock and a hard place.

I know how annoying and potentially harmful they are but the damn things are so cute!

ifthevamzarockin

ifthevamzarockin

@ErrorsOnCoins said:
Give this error coin a name .......

Yeah......um no. Don't want Heather to smack me on the nose with a rolled up newspaper.

hammer1

marcmoish

I know this belongs on the BST but these times ye know....

CollectorBonEZ

@hammer1 said:

I had to get mine from a scalper outside.

ifthevamzarockin

Imagine how silly we are all going to look after several months of DIY haircuts.

hammer1

@ifthevamzarockin said:

Those are the weirdest blinkers I've seen.

bearcave

LOL

ifthevamzarockin

@hammer1 "Those are the weirdest blinkers I've seen."

Blinkers or blinders??? LOL Damn autocorrect!

marcmoish

Guys some of us are re-posting ones that have already been on this thread already weeks ago, me thinks at this point everyone needs to start from page 1 for reference, and a few great laffs

Stay well all, this too shall pass!

Outhaul

ironmanl63

@ErrorsOnCoins said:
Give this error coin a name .......

Eoc's Pacifier. Now that is funny!

ifthevamzarockin

@ironmanl63 Well you just made a friend for life.

Insider2

@ifthevamzarockin said:

OMG, ENOUGH!