If Glicker was still around this thread would be at 1000 replies. He was made for pandemics.
Has anyone heard from him? Hope he is ok
mark
Walker Proof Digital Album Fellas, leave the tight pants to the ladies. If I can count the coins in your pockets you better use them to call a tailor. Stay thirsty my friends......
Day 1: I have stocked up on enough non-perishable food and supplies to last me for months, maybe years, so that I can remain in isolation for as long as it takes to see this pandemic out
Day 1 + 45 minutes: I am in the supermarket because I wanted a bag of Doritos and a Snickers bar
"May the silver waves that bear you heavenward be filled with love’s whisperings"
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown
I hate this type of video. What the heck are they thinking? If they die, the city or building owners cannot be responsible. Which brings up the obvious. Have any of these guys died?
Unfortunately many of these people have died. There was an article on it in a fairly well known news site some years ago. Many of the "performers" were from 3rd world countries or poor neighborhoods. Many were doing this so they'd get lots of "hits" on their YouTube pages, and then get revenue from that.
You have to admire them. No risk no reward. And...they have experienced something none of us will on the way down. I've read that drowning is a much more peaceful way to go.
Drowning is an awful death. Spent a lot of time with the dead. Drowning victims are not the nicest.
Not waking up from you nap is peaceful.
@air4mdc said: "Drowning is an awful death. Spent a lot of time with the dead. Drowning victims are not the nicest.
Not waking up from you nap is peaceful."
You are the doctor I'm just an old lifeguard with only two saves and no deaths so you should know more about drowning than I do. However, I'll bet the drowned and bloated people you worked on/saw have one thing in common - they were DEAD.
Every story from a drowned person who was revived has said how peaceful it was. In fact, they actually knew what was happening too and yet they couldn't do anything to help themselves!
While sitting at a desk in front of your computer, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.
Now, while doing this, drawing the number “6” in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction – and there’s nothing you can do about it.
@hammer1 said:
I bet you can't control your right foot.
While sitting at a desk in front of your computer, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.
Now, while doing this, drawing the number “6” in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction – and there’s nothing you can do about it.
You have completely stopped production around here. We have four guys trying to do it. LOL, but it works OK with your left hand. Wild.
@Insider2 said: @air4mdc said: "Drowning is an awful death. Spent a lot of time with the dead. Drowning victims are not the nicest.
Not waking up from you nap is peaceful."
You are the doctor I'm just an old lifeguard with only two saves and no deaths so you should know more about drowning than I do. However, I'll bet the drowned and bloated people you worked on/saw have one thing in common - they were DEAD.
Every story from a drowned person who was revived has said how peaceful it was. In fact, they actually knew what was happening too and yet they couldn't do anything to help themselves!
@air4mdc said: "Drowning is an awful death. [I] Spent a lot of time with the dead... >
Insider replied: "_You are the doctor I'm just an old lifeguard with only two saves and no deaths so you should know more about drowning than I do. However, I'll bet the drowned and bloated people you worked on/saw have one thing in common - they were DEAD_.
Smoe guys were sitting around a locker room when a cell phone on the bench rings, and a man puts it on speaker and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stopped to listen.
Man: "Hello?"
Woman: "Hi, Honey. It's me. You at the club?"
Man: "Yes."
Woman: "I'm at the shops now, and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $2000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
Man: "Sure. Go ahead."
Woman: "I also stopped at the Lexus dealership and saw the new models and found one I really like."
Man: "How much?"
Woman: "$90,000."
Man: "OK, but for that price, I want it with all the options."
Woman: "Great! And, oh. One more thing. I was just talking to Janie, and you know that house with the river view that I wanted last year? Well, it's back on the market! They're asking $980,000 for it.
Man: "Well, then, go ahead and make an offer of $900,000. They'll probably take it. But if not, we can probably go the extra 80 thousand if it's what you really want."
Woman: "OK! I'll see you later. I love you so much!"
Man: "Bye. I love you too."
The man hung up. The other guys in the locker room were looking at him in astonishment, their mouths hanging open.
He turned and asked, "Anyone know whose phone this is?"
@Insider2 said: @air4mdc said: "Drowning is an awful death. [I] Spent a lot of time with the dead... >
Insider replied: "_You are the doctor I'm just an old lifeguard with only two saves and no deaths so you should know more about drowning than I do. However, I'll bet the drowned and bloated people you worked on/saw have one thing in common - they were DEAD_.
Insider answered: _Nice dodge Doc. "No, and two thumbs up. That was hilarious_. BTW, I hope you kept your hands where they belonged.
Thanks for having a sense of humor. I was hoping you would find it funny, I know I sure did. It’s a humor thread....right?
Let’s change the subject:)
Take care.
A wife in distress frantically called her husband. "What's the problem Dear?" I can't get the car started. It might have water in the carburetor. Okay Dear hold on. Are you with the car? "Yes she replied." Where are you? In the lake.
Successful transactions:Tookybandit. "Everyone is equal, some are more equal than others".
Not so much a joke as it is a funny observation. Today went to the local store. A young 20ish couple were in the parking spot next to me. Both wearing masks. The young lad exits the car, removes his mask to light up a cigarette. So strange he worries of the virus contagion, but lights up to damage his lungs. Guess he wants to remain virus free to allow his habit to continue.
Successful transactions:Tookybandit. "Everyone is equal, some are more equal than others".
I seen some people were trying to spin their right foot clockwise and draw a six with their right hand and they were having a hard time, so I figured this might be worth a try.
"May the silver waves that bear you heavenward be filled with love’s whisperings"
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said "How about 50 dollars?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint and other materials that she might need were in the garage.
The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should, she was standing on it."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked.
"Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."
Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.
"And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
In honor of it being 4/20, here's a video that, if you haven't seen it, is worth all four minutes of it.
If you've seen it, it is worth a repeat: **"best story" **David Letterman ever heard.
(Come on, you sit in front of your computer 12 hours a day; you have 4 minutes to spare for a laugh.)
Comments
BUMPER STICKERS
THE GENE POOL COULD USE A LITTLE CHLORINE.
TIME IS WHAT KEEPS THINGS FROM HAPPENING ALL AT ONCE
I DIDN'T FIGHT MY WAY TO THE TOP OF THE FOOD CHAIN TO BE A VEGETARIAN.
YOUR KID MAY BE AN HONOR STUDENT BUT YOU'RE STILL AN IDIOT
IF WE AREN'T SUPPOSED TO EAT ANIMALS, WHY ARE THEY MADE WITH MEAT?
FEW WOMEN ADMIT THEIR AGE, FEW MEN ACT IT.
I DON'T SUFFER FROM INSANITY, I ENJOY EVERY MINUTE OF IT.
IT'S LONELY AT THE TOP, BUT YOU EAT BETTER.
LOVE: TWO VOWELS, TWO CONSONANTS, TWO FOOLS.
ACCORDING TO MY CALCULATIONS THE PROBLEM DOESN'T EXIST.
SOME PEOPLE ARE ALIVE ONLY BECAUSE IT IS ILLEGAL TO KILL THEM.
PRIDE IS WHAT WE HAVE. VANITY IS WHAT OTHERS HAVE.
FORGET ABOUT WORLD PEACE...VISUALIZE USING YOUR TURN SIGNAL.
WARNING: DATES ON CALENDAR ARE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR.
U.S. Type Set
If Glicker was still around this thread would be at 1000 replies. He was made for pandemics.
Has anyone heard from him? Hope he is ok
mark
Fellas, leave the tight pants to the ladies. If I can count the coins in your pockets you better use them to call a tailor. Stay thirsty my friends......
Quarantine Diary
Day 1: I have stocked up on enough non-perishable food and supplies to last me for months, maybe years, so that I can remain in isolation for as long as it takes to see this pandemic out
Day 1 + 45 minutes: I am in the supermarket because I wanted a bag of Doritos and a Snickers bar
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown
Drowning is an awful death. Spent a lot of time with the dead. Drowning victims are not the nicest.
Not waking up from you nap is peaceful.
[img]https://youtu.be/ZpZ_fakwSwc[/img]
@air4mdc said: "Drowning is an awful death. Spent a lot of time with the dead. Drowning victims are not the nicest.
You are the doctor I'm just an old lifeguard with only two saves and no deaths so you should know more about drowning than I do. However, I'll bet the drowned and bloated people you worked on/saw have one thing in common - they were DEAD.
Every story from a drowned person who was revived has said how peaceful it was. In fact, they actually knew what was happening too and yet they couldn't do anything to help themselves!
...
I was LMAO at this thread until I bumped into the true life back from the dead stories.
Still
The laughter was great medicine I needed.
The entertainment can never be overdressed....except in burlesque
It’s worth watching because it’s amazing that people are so, not very bright😂
https://youtu.be/HeGVeBWECu8
I bet you can't control your right foot.
While sitting at a desk in front of your computer, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.
Now, while doing this, drawing the number “6” in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction – and there’s nothing you can do about it.
You have completely stopped production around here. We have four guys trying to do it. LOL, but it works OK with your left hand. Wild.
Was this in the kiddie pool?
Money for nothing, get your chicks for free.....
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown
https://youtu.be/Z0DFXvd1BRQ
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
@air4mdc said: "Drowning is an awful death. [I] Spent a lot of time with the dead... >
Insider replied: "_You are the doctor I'm just an old lifeguard with only two saves and no deaths so you should know more about drowning than I do. However, I'll bet the drowned and bloated people you worked on/saw have one thing in common - they were DEAD_.
@air4mdc asked: "Was this in the kiddie pool?"
Insider answered: _Nice dodge Doc. "No, and two thumbs up. That was hilarious_. BTW, I hope you kept your hands where they belonged.
U.S. Type Set
Smoe guys were sitting around a locker room when a cell phone on the bench rings, and a man puts it on speaker and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stopped to listen.
Man: "Hello?"
Woman: "Hi, Honey. It's me. You at the club?"
Man: "Yes."
Woman: "I'm at the shops now, and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $2000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
Man: "Sure. Go ahead."
Woman: "I also stopped at the Lexus dealership and saw the new models and found one I really like."
Man: "How much?"
Woman: "$90,000."
Man: "OK, but for that price, I want it with all the options."
Woman: "Great! And, oh. One more thing. I was just talking to Janie, and you know that house with the river view that I wanted last year? Well, it's back on the market! They're asking $980,000 for it.
Man: "Well, then, go ahead and make an offer of $900,000. They'll probably take it. But if not, we can probably go the extra 80 thousand if it's what you really want."
Woman: "OK! I'll see you later. I love you so much!"
Man: "Bye. I love you too."
The man hung up. The other guys in the locker room were looking at him in astonishment, their mouths hanging open.
He turned and asked, "Anyone know whose phone this is?"
Here's a warning parable for coin collectors...
Thanks for having a sense of humor. I was hoping you would find it funny, I know I sure did. It’s a humor thread....right?
Let’s change the subject:)
Take care.
The entertainment can never be overdressed....except in burlesque
And you can wear a mask into a bank without triggering the alarm.
A wife in distress frantically called her husband. "What's the problem Dear?" I can't get the car started. It might have water in the carburetor. Okay Dear hold on. Are you with the car? "Yes she replied." Where are you? In the lake.
Not so much a joke as it is a funny observation. Today went to the local store. A young 20ish couple were in the parking spot next to me. Both wearing masks. The young lad exits the car, removes his mask to light up a cigarette. So strange he worries of the virus contagion, but lights up to damage his lungs. Guess he wants to remain virus free to allow his habit to continue.
The entertainment can never be overdressed....except in burlesque
With this quarantine going on I've been telling a lot of inside jokes.
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown
I seen some people were trying to spin their right foot clockwise and draw a six with their right hand and they were having a hard time, so I figured this might be worth a try.
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown
Pete
That forced me to apologise to my cat. I've long told him that he's the world's laziest...
Smitten with DBLCs.
Here comes the covid19 fashion wars. Started in Quebec.
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown
OK, Let me get this strait. You want me to put on a mask and walk into my Bank.
100% Positive BST transactions
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said "How about 50 dollars?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint and other materials that she might need were in the garage.
The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should, she was standing on it."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked.
"Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."
Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.
"And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
Here's a warning parable for coin collectors...
In honor of it being 4/20, here's a video that, if you haven't seen it, is worth all four minutes of it.
If you've seen it, it is worth a repeat: **"best story" **David Letterman ever heard.
(Come on, you sit in front of your computer 12 hours a day; you have 4 minutes to spare for a laugh.)
(http://https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFabfnfhIaY)
Herbed up!