@Onastone said:
Apparently there is a Corolla Virus sweeping our planet and practically everyone will get a Corolla. I understand it started in Toyota City. Many experts have said frequent car washing may help delay this, but don't be surprised if next week you find yourself behind the wheel of a Corolla.
My very first car back in 1975 was a Toyota, but it wasn't a Corolla.
It was a Corona Deluxe. (check it on Google if you don't believe me).
In Japan, at least in the 70s, the upscale Toyota’s often were designated as “Crown” or had “Crown” as part of their name including a crown insignia.
That could well explain the “Corona” designation for your Toyota.
Walker Proof Digital Album Fellas, leave the tight pants to the ladies. If I can count the coins in your pockets you better use them to call a tailor. Stay thirsty my friends......
On a less-funny note, my healthcare system asked me how much I remember about vent management, intubation, central line placement, and Advanced Cardiac Life Support. I said, well, maybe a little more than the psychiatrists and pathologists, but not much more.
On a less-funny note, my healthcare system asked me how much I remember about vent management, intubation, central line placement, and Advanced Cardiac Life Support. I said, well, maybe a little more than the psychiatrists and pathologists, but not much more.
Walker Proof Digital Album Fellas, leave the tight pants to the ladies. If I can count the coins in your pockets you better use them to call a tailor. Stay thirsty my friends......
God the Father, Jesus and Moses went out to play golf. Moses nailed a shot off the tee, straight down the fairway, 150 yards. Jesus lined up his shot and hit it like an arrow down the middle of the fairway, 200 yards.
Then God got up, took a gratuitous practice swing, gave the ball a powerful whack while trumpets sounded...and it dribbled ten feet off the tee.
Then a rabbit came out of the woods from the left of the tee, grabbed the ball in his mouth and ran off to the right.
Then a fox came out of the woods on the right, grabbed the rabbit and the ball in HIS mouth, and ran down the fairway.
Then an eagle swooped down from the clouds, grabbed the fox, the rabbit and the ball in his talons, and flew off toward the green.
Then there was a mighty peal of thunder, and a lightning bolt struck the eagle, the fox and the rabbit dead. The ball fell on the green and bounced into the hole.
Then Moses turned to the other two: "Look. Did you guys come out here to play golf, or just to %$^# around??"
Refs: MCM,Fivecents,Julio,Robman,Endzone,Coiny,Agentjim007,Musky1011,holeinone1972,Tdec1000,Type2,bumanchu, Metalsman,Wondercoin,Pitboss,Tomohawk,carew4me,segoja,thebigeng,jlc_coin,mbogoman,sportsmod,dragon,tychojoe,Schmitz7,claychaser, Bullsitter, robeck, Nickpatton, jwitten, and many OTHERS
How times change. I was in a small store this morning. I get the stuff I want, go to the cash register, and the person behind the counter goes, "Would you like a bottle of rubbing alcohol and a can of disinfecting wipes?" Needless to say, I said yes. She pulls them out from behind the counter, I pay for my stuff, wish her a good day and start walking away.
As I was walking away it occurred to me that it wasn't that long ago that it was booze, cigarettes and maybe condoms behind the counter.
PUN0GRAPHY
· I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
· When chemists die, they barium.
· Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
· A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
· I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
· How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
· I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
· This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
· I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.
· I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words ...
· They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.
· This dyslexic man walks into a bra .
· I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
· A cross-eyed teacher lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
· When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
· What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds..
· I wondered why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!
· Broken pencils are pointless.
· What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
· England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool ..
· I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
· I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
· All the toilets in London police stations have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on.
· I took the job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
· Velcro - what a rip off!
· Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
A riddle to solve, how do you get an elephant through the eye of a needle? A hint to the answer is you take the w out of what and take the f out of way.
"May the silver waves that bear you heavenward be filled with love’s whisperings"
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown
Some Indians were sitting around the campfire one evening.
"By the way, how did you get your name, Soaring Eagle?"
"When I was born, my father walked out of the tepee, and saw at once an eagle flying above the canyon. He knew this was a sign from the Great Spirit, and so he named me Soaring Eagle."
"Very nice.
So how did you get YOUR name, Running Buffalo?"
"Quite similarly. When I was born, my father emerged from the tepee and immediately saw in the valley below a herd of racing buffalo. He surmised that the Great Spirit had offered the sign, so my father named me Running Buffalo."
Comments
I'll remove it, I thought it was funny albeit political, remove your comments too. stay well.
Now that is funny.
Let's see who remembers this.
My War Nickels https://www.pcgs.com/setregistry/nickels/jefferson-nickels-specialty-sets/jefferson-nickels-fs-basic-war-set-circulation-strikes-1942-1945/publishedset/94452
Let's see who ADMITS to remembering it.
"Inspiration exists, but it has to find you working" Pablo Picasso
https://www.facebook.com/linda.karch.3/videos/2907458029332385/
Not all are funny but some are great.
coronavirus cabin fever
Over the years my wife has become a wonderful cook. Whenever she burns the food she says “YEA, it’s CAJUN”!
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown
And as a star note it probably wound up on eBay for 40$....
Nah............ They didn't even realize.
https://www.tiktok.com/@bielak94/video/6784937146387041542
Great transactions with oih82w8, JasonGaming, Moose1913.
.
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
I can relate 🙄
Seemingly Day 83 of the quarantine.
My wife called out from the other room and asked if I ever get a stabbing pain in my chest, like someone has a voodoo doll of me and is stabbing it.
I replied no.
She responded, "How about now?"
What's wrong with Ritz crackers?
I always wondered where I got my fear of heights.
This is my dog and her frisbee coming back from the park a couple days ago.
Click on this link to see my ebay listings.
Does she put her dentures in a glass at night?
We had a Boston when I was a kid. He would look at you just like that and cry until you gave him some. Great little dogs!
I still can't find that other sock.
Life Lesson # 18.
All socks lost will be returned at the Heaven 's Gate.
on his toes....
R.I.P Son 1986>2020
In Japan, at least in the 70s, the upscale Toyota’s often were designated as “Crown” or had “Crown” as part of their name including a crown insignia.
That could well explain the “Corona” designation for your Toyota.
m
Fellas, leave the tight pants to the ladies. If I can count the coins in your pockets you better use them to call a tailor. Stay thirsty my friends......
I think you're supposed to land on the other skateboard with your feet, not your head.
Pertinent to my line of work:
On a less-funny note, my healthcare system asked me how much I remember about vent management, intubation, central line placement, and Advanced Cardiac Life Support. I said, well, maybe a little more than the psychiatrists and pathologists, but not much more.
Yikes!
mark
Fellas, leave the tight pants to the ladies. If I can count the coins in your pockets you better use them to call a tailor. Stay thirsty my friends......
2020 Easter Basket
God the Father, Jesus and Moses went out to play golf. Moses nailed a shot off the tee, straight down the fairway, 150 yards. Jesus lined up his shot and hit it like an arrow down the middle of the fairway, 200 yards.
Then God got up, took a gratuitous practice swing, gave the ball a powerful whack while trumpets sounded...and it dribbled ten feet off the tee.
Then a rabbit came out of the woods from the left of the tee, grabbed the ball in his mouth and ran off to the right.
Then a fox came out of the woods on the right, grabbed the rabbit and the ball in HIS mouth, and ran down the fairway.
Then an eagle swooped down from the clouds, grabbed the fox, the rabbit and the ball in his talons, and flew off toward the green.
Then there was a mighty peal of thunder, and a lightning bolt struck the eagle, the fox and the rabbit dead. The ball fell on the green and bounced into the hole.
Then Moses turned to the other two: "Look. Did you guys come out here to play golf, or just to %$^# around??"
Here's a warning parable for coin collectors...
Seeing this stuff available in the store is more rare than seeing the Easter bunny.
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown
And you pass the body off as a covid19 victim? Man, you're good!
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown
How times change. I was in a small store this morning. I get the stuff I want, go to the cash register, and the person behind the counter goes, "Would you like a bottle of rubbing alcohol and a can of disinfecting wipes?" Needless to say, I said yes. She pulls them out from behind the counter, I pay for my stuff, wish her a good day and start walking away.
As I was walking away it occurred to me that it wasn't that long ago that it was booze, cigarettes and maybe condoms behind the counter.
PUN0GRAPHY
· I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
· When chemists die, they barium.
· Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
· A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
· I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
· How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
· I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
· This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
· I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.
· I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words ...
· They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.
· This dyslexic man walks into a bra .
· I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
· A cross-eyed teacher lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
· When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
· What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds..
· I wondered why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!
· Broken pencils are pointless.
· What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
· England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool ..
· I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
· I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
· All the toilets in London police stations have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on.
· I took the job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
· Velcro - what a rip off!
· Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
U.S. Type Set
<.>>><<<<..<<<>...<<...<<,.>,,><,
My Saint Set
A riddle to solve, how do you get an elephant through the eye of a needle? A hint to the answer is you take the w out of what and take the f out of way.
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown
Gravity wins.
Alright boys, last box of noodles, enjoy....
.
Some Indians were sitting around the campfire one evening.
"By the way, how did you get your name, Soaring Eagle?"
"When I was born, my father walked out of the tepee, and saw at once an eagle flying above the canyon. He knew this was a sign from the Great Spirit, and so he named me Soaring Eagle."
"Very nice.
So how did you get YOUR name, Running Buffalo?"
"Quite similarly. When I was born, my father emerged from the tepee and immediately saw in the valley below a herd of racing buffalo. He surmised that the Great Spirit had offered the sign, so my father named me Running Buffalo."
"Very inspiring.
So how did you get YOUR name, Two Dogs $%#&ing?"
Here's a warning parable for coin collectors...