I was reminiscing with grandma one day and she was telling me that all her life she washed her clothes in Tide. I asked why in Tide? She replied because it's too damned cold out Tide!
"May the silver waves that bear you heavenward be filled with love’s whisperings"
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown
Two guys are standing on the street corner and they observe a dog licking himself. One guy says, "Gee, I wish I could do that." The other guy says, "Don't you think you ought to pet him first?"
Apparently there is a Corolla Virus sweeping our planet and practically everyone will get a Corolla. I understand it started in Toyota City. Many experts have said frequent car washing may help delay this, but don't be surprised if next week you find yourself behind the wheel of a Corolla.
Al, no offense intended but you look a lot like Woody Allen in the photo. I had to look twice.
none taken. in my younger years around a campfire I bore a resemblance to Keith Richards and I have pictures of myself where I could be confused with a young Al Pacino. in both cases I think it was the haircut more than anything else.
A man enters a bank and asks for a loan of $2,000 for a trip to Europe. The loan officer asks for collateral, so the man points to his Rolls Royce parked outside. The bank takes the keys to the car and parks it in its underground parking lot. The man returns from his vacation and repays the $2,000, plus a minimal amount of interest (less than $20). The loan officer says, “Sir, while you were away we found that you’re a millionaire. Why did you need to borrow such a small sum of money?” The man replies, “I didn’t. Where else in New York City can I park my Rolls Royce for two weeks for less than $20?”
I went to the bathroom at a restaurant. I washed my hands, opened the door with my elbow, I raised the toilet seat with my foot, I switched on the water faucet with a tissue then opened the bathroom door to leave with my elbow and when i returned to my table I realized.... I forgot to pull up my pants!!! 🤭😜
@keets said:
cameonut, she's a yellow lab that's more cream colored right now. she was about 14.5 lbs. when we brought her home, about six weeks later she's up to 25+. two weeks prior to getting her we picked up a little Jack Russell. talk about a handful and dangerous combination!!
Al, no offense intended but you look a lot like Woody Allen in the photo. I had to look twice.
Man leaves the bar at closing time. Staggering down the sidewalk, he ends up with one foot on the sidewalk and one in the street while continuing to stagger. A cop comes up, grabs the man by the shirt and says "Buddy you're drunk". The man says "Oh thank God, I thought my leg was broke".
@YQQ said:
do you guys own tons of stocks in TP companies?????
I will take the puppy any day...
A lady friend said:
if it gets really bad, I will collect moss in the forest and use it...
I said:
all we had when we grew up was cut up Newspaper
I glad I have 3 Rubbermaid tubs full of junk mail in the extra bedroom
Comments
I was reminiscing with grandma one day and she was telling me that all her life she washed her clothes in Tide. I asked why in Tide? She replied because it's too damned cold out Tide!
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown
Two guys are standing on the street corner and they observe a dog licking himself. One guy says, "Gee, I wish I could do that." The other guy says, "Don't you think you ought to pet him first?"
"I spent 50% of my money on alcohol, women, and gambling. The other half I wasted.
Apparently there is a Corolla Virus sweeping our planet and practically everyone will get a Corolla. I understand it started in Toyota City. Many experts have said frequent car washing may help delay this, but don't be surprised if next week you find yourself behind the wheel of a Corolla.
Al, no offense intended but you look a lot like Woody Allen in the photo. I had to look twice.
none taken. in my younger years around a campfire I bore a resemblance to Keith Richards and I have pictures of myself where I could be confused with a young Al Pacino. in both cases I think it was the haircut more than anything else.
everyone looks like someone to somebody!!!
Pete
I just flushed $25 down the toilet!
You used 10 squares? Must have been a dirty boy.
RMR: 'Wer, wenn ich schriee, hörte mich denn aus der Engel Ordnungen?'
CJ: 'No one!' [Ain't no angels in the coin biz]
A man enters a bank and asks for a loan of $2,000 for a trip to Europe. The loan officer asks for collateral, so the man points to his Rolls Royce parked outside. The bank takes the keys to the car and parks it in its underground parking lot. The man returns from his vacation and repays the $2,000, plus a minimal amount of interest (less than $20). The loan officer says, “Sir, while you were away we found that you’re a millionaire. Why did you need to borrow such a small sum of money?” The man replies, “I didn’t. Where else in New York City can I park my Rolls Royce for two weeks for less than $20?”
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
I have always heard crack kills.
We have become crazy.
I went to the bathroom at a restaurant. I washed my hands, opened the door with my elbow, I raised the toilet seat with my foot, I switched on the water faucet with a tissue then opened the bathroom door to leave with my elbow and when i returned to my table I realized.... I forgot to pull up my pants!!! 🤭😜
😁
¡Ay, caramba!
RMR: 'Wer, wenn ich schriee, hörte mich denn aus der Engel Ordnungen?'
CJ: 'No one!' [Ain't no angels in the coin biz]
We really need at least one running thread with humor.
Times are tough, humor helps so hopefully the mod's will allow it.
Here is a friend (well I think a friend last I heard) talking to his dad this morning.
I got my results.
IMG_3321.jpg
I'll never look at Keet's avatar the same way.
😎
Man leaves the bar at closing time. Staggering down the sidewalk, he ends up with one foot on the sidewalk and one in the street while continuing to stagger. A cop comes up, grabs the man by the shirt and says "Buddy you're drunk". The man says "Oh thank God, I thought my leg was broke".
End Systemic Elitism - It Takes All Of Us
How old guys stay in shape...
- Jim
You do realize how big that puppy will get......right!
Wait until you see your 401k statement...
The heck with toilet paper. I just bought dryer sheets and my rump smells like Lavender and Roses and there is no static electricity.
Oh, and by the way, my old butt is, for the first time in 20 years, now wrinkle free!!
...
Hey, I posted that joke weeks ago! I don't think I got any LOL's. You ripped me. And........I'm a Corona native! THE INJUSTICE OF IT ALL!!!!!!!!!
My new pick up line isn't working as well as I had hoped for.
"Wanna share a case of Corona"
Did have one girl offer to share a case of something else.
I glad I have 3 Rubbermaid tubs full of junk mail in the extra bedroom
The government is incapable of ever managing the economy. That is why communism collapsed. It is now socialism’s turn - Martin Armstrong
OK. For the Dog's, especially new ones, there are going to be accidents. The key is to have them take care of it themselves.
And to make things a little more merry, The Boss AKA SWMBO (She Who Must Be Obeyed) creating some hand made blown Christmas Ornaments.
My hounders !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Above pic. My first ever pic and it isn't a coin!!!!!!!
Winnie . . .140 lb. Akbash
Mia . . . 60 lb. Boxer
T-Bone . . . Ruler of the Universe
I have a pound yorkie that would argue with "Ruler of the Universe" LOL
My cat knows that he rules the universe.
Smitten with DBLCs.
I LOVE IT! I know it's getting old around here but......I'm from Corona. We have lots of " local" Corona beer jokes. Yours is the BEST! EVER!
Rib it, Rib it, cough...achew....
Cooorona, Corronaa... burp.
Hey- I'm really sorry!
I couldn't remember where I heard it- just that it made ME LAUGH so I shared it. 
You're forgiven.
In the age of coronavirus, this is how we feel.
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown