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  • jkrkjkrk Posts: 991 ✭✭✭✭✭

    A Chinese Doctor can't find a job in a Hospital in the US, so he opens his own clinic and puts a sign outside
    'GET TREATMENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100.'
    An American lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic.
    Lawyer: 'I have lost my sense of taste.'
    Chinese: 'Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 22 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth.'
    Lawyer: 'Ugh. this is kerosene.'
    Chinese: 'Congrats, your sense of taste is restored. Give me $20.'
    The annoyed lawyer goes back after a few days to recover his money.
    Lawyer: 'I have lost my memory. I cannot remember anything.'
    Chinese: 'Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in his mouth.'
    Lawyer (annoyed): 'This is kerosene. You gave this to me last time for restoring my taste.'
    Chinese: 'Congrats. You got your memory back. Give me $20.'
    The fuming lawyer pays him, and then comes back a week later determined to get back $100.
    Lawyer: 'My eyesight has become very weak I can't see at all.'
    Chinese: 'Well, I don't have any medicine for that, so take this $100.'
    Lawyer (staring at the note): 'But this is $20, not $100!!'
    Chinese: 'Congrats, your eyesight is restored. Give me $20'

  • marcmoishmarcmoish Posts: 6,497 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited August 27, 2020 6:45AM

    Two robbers break into Ikea at night. Once they’re back again in the car, they compare their loot.

    What’ve you got?

    Candles, some napkins and this little pencil.

    Darn it, me too.

    Edited for grammer and spell check, ye right..🙄

  • SmudgeSmudge Posts: 9,745 ✭✭✭✭✭

    How do you sink a blonde battleship?

    Put it in water.

  • emeraldATVemeraldATV Posts: 4,812 ✭✭✭✭✭

    This should stick in the minds of all who seek the small date in the 1982 cent series .
    Look , four, the opposite style of the no. 2 inside the for.

  • 1630Boston1630Boston Posts: 14,111 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb, Ricko

    Bad transactions with : nobody to date

  • amwldcoinamwldcoin Posts: 11,269 ✭✭✭✭✭

    I was waiting for the old reruns of Gunsmoke to come on last night and caught the tail end of Cowboy Way...which I had never seen. The guys metal detecting and digging up his field and finds a 1941 Jefferson Nickel. There's a bit of banter between him and his Girlfriend/wife? Then he gets a better signal. Digs a hole a couple feet deep. Still can't get to it. Then the GF/W pulls up with a backhoe. Takes a big scoop...still hasn't uncovered it as he's still getting a strong signal. Then he says wait! Here's another 1. It's a 1942...all the time the GF/W is treating him like he's a fool. This is over 70 years old! Gotta be worth at least $100.00. Then he finds a 1941! He's constantly going on about how much money it's going to be worth and those lowly buried Jefferson Nickels eventually become worth $500 a piece!

  • hammer1hammer1 Posts: 3,874 ✭✭✭✭✭

  • This content has been removed.
  • rickoricko Posts: 98,724 ✭✭✭✭✭

    They once created a street called Chuck Norris but had to change it.
    No one crosses Chuck Norris and lives!

    Cheers, RickO

  • SanctionIISanctionII Posts: 12,510 ✭✭✭✭✭

    The pope and a lawyer died on the same day and arrived at the pearly gates together.

    While waiting in line they talked and told each other who they were and what they did on earth. Eventually they checked in with Saint Peter, entered heaven and parted ways.

    Time passed and one day the pope and the lawyer saw each other and spoke again. The pope was invited to the lawyer's house for lunch. The pope arrived and saw that the lawyer's house was the biggest, newest house in heaven situated on a hilltop overlooking heaven. The pope complimented the lawyer on his house. The lawyer asked the pope about his home. The pope told the lawyer his home is a modest 2 bedroom, 1 bath apartment in an older apartment building.

    The next day the pope saw St. Peter and talked with him. The pope asked about how housing in heaven was decided. He told St. Peter that while on earth he was the leader of the Catholic Church and did good deeds to benefit humanity. He said I am in a modest apartment in heaven, while the lawyer is in the best home in heaven. The pope asked why that is.

    St. Peter looked at the pope and told him: "The answer is simple. We have lots of popes in heaven, but the lawyer who entered heaven with you is the first one we have ever had."

    :)

  • mannie graymannie gray Posts: 7,259 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @emeraldATV said:
    This should stick in the minds of all who seek the small date in the 1982 cent series .
    Look , four, the opposite style of the no. 2 inside the for.

    What??????

  • 1630Boston1630Boston Posts: 14,111 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb, Ricko

    Bad transactions with : nobody to date

  • 1630Boston1630Boston Posts: 14,111 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @mannie gray said:

    What??????

    Don't try to figure it out :)

    Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb, Ricko

    Bad transactions with : nobody to date

  • shortnockshortnock Posts: 427 ✭✭✭

    Does anybody get it?

  • 1630Boston1630Boston Posts: 14,111 ✭✭✭✭✭

    I don't think it is meant to be got :)

    Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb, Ricko

    Bad transactions with : nobody to date

  • JaLPJaLP Posts: 199 ✭✭✭

    I THINK this is what he was talking about.

  • CoinJunkieCoinJunkie Posts: 8,772 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @JaLP said:
    I THINK this is what he was talking about.

    Hysterical! ;)

  • ctf_error_coinsctf_error_coins Posts: 15,433 ✭✭✭✭✭

    No, it's an owl in the very bottom corner of the left "4"

  • AlongAlong Posts: 466 ✭✭✭✭

    How do you know if a Snowman is a guy or girl?

    Check for snowballs

  • 1630Boston1630Boston Posts: 14,111 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited August 28, 2020 6:43AM

    .

    Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb, Ricko

    Bad transactions with : nobody to date

  • marcmoishmarcmoish Posts: 6,497 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited August 28, 2020 8:57AM

    @1630Boston said:
    .

    that lonely wicked period cracked me up too. :D

  • CoinJunkieCoinJunkie Posts: 8,772 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @marcmoish said:

    @1630Boston said:
    .

    that lonely wicked period cracked me up too. :D

    Brevity is the soul of wit. I couldn't stop laughing!

  • amwldcoinamwldcoin Posts: 11,269 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited August 28, 2020 11:47AM

    LOL! I got a speeding ticket the night I got my 1st Drivers License! 85 in a 55 at the end of a deserted expressway that was being built. I think me and the cop were the only 2 cars out there. I was driving an automatic Pinto! The cop asked me how fast I was going and why. I said I wanted to see how fast it would go and I hit 95! He said well I clocked you at 85. The irony of the whole thing was he wrote my birth year wrong and I used it to buy beer for the 2 years before I was of legal age! :#

    @Kirk222 said:

    First Driver's License two years ago. He's had three speeding tickets so far!

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