The forum needs a little humor.

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  • ricko
    ricko Posts: 98,724 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    During a dinner party, the hosts' two little children entered the dining room totally nude and walked slowly around the table.

    The parents were so embarrassed that they pretended nothing was happening and kept the conversation going. The guests cooperated and also continued as if nothing extraordinary was happening. After going all the way around the room, the children left, and there was a moment of silence at the table, during which one child was heard to say....

    "You see, it IS vanishing cream!"

    Cheers, RickO

  • ricko
    ricko Posts: 98,724 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Cheers, RickO

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  • JWP
    JWP Posts: 37,455 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
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  • JWP
    JWP Posts: 37,455 ✭✭✭✭✭
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  • JWP
    JWP Posts: 37,455 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited March 1, 2023 6:11PM
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    Looks like the new fire escape meets code

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  • braddick
    braddick Posts: 25,190 ✭✭✭✭✭
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  • Lazybones
    Lazybones Posts: 1,633 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    USAF (Ret) The purpose of Bourbon is to make you feel like you should feel WITHOUT Bourbon. Remembering RickO, a brother in arms.

  • JWP
    JWP Posts: 37,455 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
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  • JWP
    JWP Posts: 37,455 ✭✭✭✭✭
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  • PerryHall
    PerryHall Posts: 47,760 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    @JWP said:

    Looks like the new fire escape meets code

    Doesn't look strong enough to support a human. I wonder if this could be for a pet cat so it can go outside.

    Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe.
    "Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value---zero."----Voltaire
    "Everything you say should be true, but not everything true should be said."----Voltaire

  • ricko
    ricko Posts: 98,724 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin.

    However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.

    After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!

    One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, 'Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you.'

    'My darling,' he replied, 'I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.

    Cheers, RickO

  • ricko
    ricko Posts: 98,724 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    A polish man is sitting at a bar having a few drinks when he notices a very attractive lady sit down at the other end of the bar and order a drink.
    The polish guy calls the bartender over and says "whatever she is is drinking give her another one and tell her it is on me."

    The bartender replies "I don't think you want to do that."

    "What do you mean?" yells the polish guy, "Send her the drink!"

    "O.K." the bartender replies, "but I don't think it is a good idea."

    "And why not?" asks the polish guy.

    The bartender leans over the bar and very softly says "because she's a lesbian."

    "I don't care, send her the drink." says the polish guy.

    So after the lady gets her drink the polish guy very casually strolls down to the other end of the bar and sits down next to her and says, "so what part of Lesbia are you from?"

    Cheers, RickO

  • ricko
    ricko Posts: 98,724 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    One day at home the phone rings and Joe answers it. On the other end is a confused woman who asks, "Who is this?"
    "This is Joe. With whom did you wish to speak with?"
    After a pause the woman says, "Did you just say whom?"
    "Yes, I did."
    "Then you're definitely not my son!"

    Cheers, RickO

  • ricko
    ricko Posts: 98,724 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Cheers, RickO

  • ricko
    ricko Posts: 98,724 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Cheers, RickO

  • JWP
    JWP Posts: 37,455 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    This room will make a lot of cents

    USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
    Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members

  • JWP
    JWP Posts: 37,455 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
    Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members

  • jesbroken
    jesbroken Posts: 11,253 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    @Smudge said:

    @JWP said:

    I’m still trying to figure out how a heat seeking missile finds a balloon.

    I still don't understand two things, first, why we are using $1/2 million missiles when we have 480 rds of 50 cal onboard. One 1/2 second burst would take care of most any balloon and second, why is no one raising hell about it.
    Jim


    When a man who is honestly mistaken hears the truth, he will either quit being mistaken or cease to be honest....Abraham Lincoln

    Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.....Mark Twain
  • JWP
    JWP Posts: 37,455 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
    Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members

  • JWP
    JWP Posts: 37,455 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
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  • Smudge
    Smudge Posts: 10,001 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    @JWP said:

    Makes your pee smell funny.

  • PerryHall
    PerryHall Posts: 47,760 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    @JWP said:

    Did he try to make his car into a perpetual motion machine? He also needs a windmill for the roof and a few solar panels. :D

    Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe.
    "Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value---zero."----Voltaire
    "Everything you say should be true, but not everything true should be said."----Voltaire

  • gonzer
    gonzer Posts: 3,095 ✭✭✭✭✭
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  • JWP
    JWP Posts: 37,455 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
    Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members

  • JWP
    JWP Posts: 37,455 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited March 3, 2023 4:22AM
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    USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
    Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members

  • JWP
    JWP Posts: 37,455 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited March 3, 2023 7:38AM
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    I think we might be in trouble

    USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
    Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members

  • JWP
    JWP Posts: 37,455 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
    Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members

  • ricko
    ricko Posts: 98,724 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Cheers, RickO

  • JWP
    JWP Posts: 37,455 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
    Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members

  • JWP
    JWP Posts: 37,455 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
    Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members

  • JWP
    JWP Posts: 37,455 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
    Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members

  • pocketpiececommems
    pocketpiececommems Posts: 6,093 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    @JWP said:

    @ricko said:

    Cheers, RickO

    Hey ricko, you need some ketchup with them frys

    😹😹😹😹😹😹😹that’s a good one. But I’ll bet someone has done that to ketchup more than once at McDonalds

    Pocketpiececommemoratives

    Lafayette Grading Set
  • ricko
    ricko Posts: 98,724 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    For two solid hours, the lady sitting next to a man on an airplane had told him about her grandchildren. She had even produced a plastic-foldout photo album of all nine of the children.

    She finally realized that she had dominated the entire conversation on her grandchildren.

    "Oh, I've done all the talking, and I'm so sorry. I know you certainly have something to say. Please, tell me... what do you think of my grandchildren?"

    Cheers, RickO

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