Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
Note: I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed: Desperate
The response came weeks later, out of the blue:
Dear Desperate,
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.
Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2. Do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. However, remember, overuse of the Tears application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Caution: Beer 6.1 will download Snoring Loudly Beta version.
Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 as it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.
In addition, please do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0.
Good Luck
Tech Support
@marcmoish said:
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
Note: I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed: Desperate
The response came weeks later, out of the blue:
Dear Desperate,
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.
Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2. Do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. However, remember, overuse of the Tears application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Caution: Beer 6.1 will download Snoring Loudly Beta version.
Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 as it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.
In addition, please do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0.
Good Luck
Tech Support
Last year a friend of mine, system administrator as myself, changed the application GirlFriend 6.0 by Wife 1.0 and found that the update was not very successful. First of all Wife 1.0 leaves very little system resources for other applications, not only this, but he has also realized that Wife 1.0 is a prolific processor of Babys 1.x, which are additionally consumers of valuable resources.
There was no mention of this particular fact neither from the product manufacters nor in the warranty, altough some colleagues had inform me that this was expectable, due to the nature of the application.
But surprises didn't end up there, additionally Wife 1.0 configures itself so that it always starts when the system is initialized, from where it can monitor the rest of the processes.
My friend is noticing that some applications like: NightOfPoker 10.3, BeerParty 2.5 and PubNight 7.0 no longer can be run, because Wife 1.0 locks the system when they are selected (even so they always worked fine before).
During the installation, Wife 1.0 installs automatically services not desired, like MotherInLaw 55.8 and the DEMO version of BrotherInLaw. The most outstanding effects of these services are the progresive and daily degradation of the system.
My friend is very seriously considering to change the version of the application Wife, but there are some features that he would like to be added to the next version (Wife 2.0), these are:
A "Forget me" button and another for minimizing.
A new option that allows to install Wife 2.0 with an option of "Desinstall at any time", without losing the cache and other valuable system resources.
An option to run the network controller in "promiscuous" mode, that allows to the system to try shareware version of different applications, to have a better knowledge of the market.
I have decided to avoid all the headaches associated with Wife 1.0, continuing with GirlFriend 2.0. Even so, I have found many problems. Aparently you can't install GirlFriend 2.0 on GirlFriend 1.0, you have to desinstall GirlFriend 1.0 first. Additionally, aparently, the versions of GirlFriend have conflicts to share the same I/O (Input/Output) port. The technical support has said me that it is a known bug and that they are looking for some way to bypass the problem, because it seems to be implemented in the kernel (heart) of the application and it is not a good idea to change it.
Even worse, the program to desinstall GirlFriend 1.0 doesn't work very well, leaving unwished traces of the application in the system. Another problem: all the versions of GirlFriend continually give anoying messanges about the advantages of changing to Wife 1.0. After talking again with the service they suggest me to ignore those messages, and when I point that for that solution it was not necessary to phone them, they go back again on the explanation of the former problem (bug in the kernel).
WIFE 1.0 INCOMPATIBILITIES: If you try to install Lover 1.1 before desinstalling Wife 1.0, this erases the files MS-Money, and after it desinstalls itself. Then Lover 1.1 won't install, claiming that system resources are too low. To avoid this effect, try to install Lover 1.1 in a different environment and never run a file transfer application, like LipStickSpot 6.0. Also try to avoid renting applications, because it's known that they can transmit viruses that can affect Wife 1.0. Another solution is to run Lover 1.1 through a network provider with and anonimous name. Once again, avoid viruses that can be accidentally loaded.
Just because I'm old doesn't mean I don't love to look at a pretty bust.
@ricko said:
Most Friday nights at the naval station in Bermuda, we would assemble at the officer's club after work.
One Friday, Rick, a newly married ensign, insisted he had to leave at 6 p.m.
We all tried to talk him into staying, but he'd promised his bride he'd be home by six. I offered to call home for Rick.
When his wife answered the phone, I said, 'Rick has been kidnapped.
Put five dollars in small, unmarked bills in a plain brown paper bag and throw it in the door of the officer's club.' Then I hung up.
A short time later, a waiter brought a grocery bag to our table.
In it were Rick's baseball glove, a tennis racket, and a teddy bear.
Attached to the bear was a note: 'Rick can play kidnapped until 7 p.m. Then he must come home.'
@Tramp said:
Oh, I think there is plenty of humor being posted the last few days. Not intentionally though.
The "supposed to be expert..." thread that I refuse to add to (why give it the validation) after the op was well answered by those in the know is full of humor.
Comments
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The attack of the Warming Pan
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Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
Oh, I think there is plenty of humor being posted the last few days. Not intentionally though.
USAF (Ret.) 1985 - 2005. E-4B Aircraft Maintenance Crew Chief and Contracting Officer.
My current Registry sets:
✓ Everyman Mint State Carson City Morgan Dollars (1878 – 1893)
✓ Everyman Mint State Lincoln Cents (1909 – 1958)
✓ Morgan Dollar GSA Hoard (1878 – 1891)
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I remember those, the old drive-in
Successful BST transactions with....Coinslave87, ChrisH821, Walkerguy21D, SanctionII.......................Received "You Suck" award 02/18/23
Cheers, RickO
Cheers, RickO
Cheers, RickO
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
Note: I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed: Desperate
The response came weeks later, out of the blue:
Dear Desperate,
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.
Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2. Do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. However, remember, overuse of the Tears application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Caution: Beer 6.1 will download Snoring Loudly Beta version.
Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 as it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.
In addition, please do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0.
Good Luck
Tech Support
Cheers, RickO
Cheers, RickO
Cheers, RickO
Last year a friend of mine, system administrator as myself, changed the application GirlFriend 6.0 by Wife 1.0 and found that the update was not very successful. First of all Wife 1.0 leaves very little system resources for other applications, not only this, but he has also realized that Wife 1.0 is a prolific processor of Babys 1.x, which are additionally consumers of valuable resources.
There was no mention of this particular fact neither from the product manufacters nor in the warranty, altough some colleagues had inform me that this was expectable, due to the nature of the application.
But surprises didn't end up there, additionally Wife 1.0 configures itself so that it always starts when the system is initialized, from where it can monitor the rest of the processes.
My friend is noticing that some applications like: NightOfPoker 10.3, BeerParty 2.5 and PubNight 7.0 no longer can be run, because Wife 1.0 locks the system when they are selected (even so they always worked fine before).
During the installation, Wife 1.0 installs automatically services not desired, like MotherInLaw 55.8 and the DEMO version of BrotherInLaw. The most outstanding effects of these services are the progresive and daily degradation of the system.
My friend is very seriously considering to change the version of the application Wife, but there are some features that he would like to be added to the next version (Wife 2.0), these are:
I have decided to avoid all the headaches associated with Wife 1.0, continuing with GirlFriend 2.0. Even so, I have found many problems. Aparently you can't install GirlFriend 2.0 on GirlFriend 1.0, you have to desinstall GirlFriend 1.0 first. Additionally, aparently, the versions of GirlFriend have conflicts to share the same I/O (Input/Output) port. The technical support has said me that it is a known bug and that they are looking for some way to bypass the problem, because it seems to be implemented in the kernel (heart) of the application and it is not a good idea to change it.
Even worse, the program to desinstall GirlFriend 1.0 doesn't work very well, leaving unwished traces of the application in the system. Another problem: all the versions of GirlFriend continually give anoying messanges about the advantages of changing to Wife 1.0. After talking again with the service they suggest me to ignore those messages, and when I point that for that solution it was not necessary to phone them, they go back again on the explanation of the former problem (bug in the kernel).
WIFE 1.0 INCOMPATIBILITIES: If you try to install Lover 1.1 before desinstalling Wife 1.0, this erases the files MS-Money, and after it desinstalls itself. Then Lover 1.1 won't install, claiming that system resources are too low. To avoid this effect, try to install Lover 1.1 in a different environment and never run a file transfer application, like LipStickSpot 6.0. Also try to avoid renting applications, because it's known that they can transmit viruses that can affect Wife 1.0. Another solution is to run Lover 1.1 through a network provider with and anonimous name. Once again, avoid viruses that can be accidentally loaded.
Cheers, RickO
Autobiographical?
@gonzer ...
No, I was a Tin Can Sailor and enlisted.... Cheers, RickO
Reminds me of my catholic grammar school.
Sister Mary Francis Allouiscious Xavier Elephant!!! aka the Penguin.
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
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Cheers, RickO
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
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Skitching was one of my favorite winter sports growing up on the Northwest side of Chicago.
'cause you can smell 'em!
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
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South Bend?
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The "supposed to be expert..." thread that I refuse to add to (why give it the validation) after the op was well answered by those in the know is full of humor.
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.