Supposedly a true story: A guy who was not up to date on things like WTF or LOL, thought that LOL meant "lots of Love". He sent an email to an out of state relative expressing sympathy for the lose of his father....but he closed it with LOL. Oops!
"Ain't None of Them play like him (Bix Beiderbecke) Yet." Louis Armstrong
Looks like our high school pole vault and high jump pit
I just wish our vault and jump pits had that much cushion in them. 2 1/2 foot pile of damp sawdust. And you were picking it out of your clothes (think Underwear) for days.
Dear Algebra,
Please stop asking us to find your X. She's never coming
back... and don't ask Y.
The more I get to know people, the more I realize why Noah let
only animals on his ark.
Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than
men actually spend thinking.
Joe: Yesterday, my wife ran off with my best friend Mike.
Al: Since when is Mike your best friend?
Joe: Since yesterday.
Whenever my wife is in the house singing, I'm sitting outside on
the porch... so the neighbors don't think I'm hitting her.
A couple with three children waited in line at San Francisco's Pier 41 to purchase tickets for a boat trip to Alcatraz. Others watched with varying degrees of sympathy and irritation as the young children fidgeted, whined, and punched one another. The frazzled parents reprimanded them to no avail.
Finally they reached the ticket window. "Five tickets, please," the father said. "Two round trip, three one way."
A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card, which said: 'Rest in Peace.'
The owner was angry and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist replied:
'Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry, you should imagine this - somewhere, there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying: 'Congratulations on your new location!''
One Sunday a pastor told the congregation that the church needed some extra money and asked the people to prayerfully consider giving a little extra in the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns.
After the offering plates were passed, the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had placed a $1,000 bill in offering. He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregation and said he'd like to personally thank the person who placed the money in the plate.
A very quiet, elderly and saintly lady all the way in the back shyly raised her hand. The pastor asked her to come to the front. Slowly she made her way to the pastor. He told her how wonderful it was that she gave so much and in thanksgiving asked her to pick out three hymns.
Her eyes brightened as she looked over the congregation, pointed to the three handsomest men in the building and said, "I'll take him and him and him."
The High Holidays have absolutely nothing to do with marijuana.
Where there's smoke, there may be salmon.
No meal is complete without leftovers.
According to Jewish dietary law, pork and shellfish may be eaten only in Chinese restaurants.
A shmata is a dress that your husband's ex is wearing.
You need ten men for a minion, but only four in polyester pants and white shoes for pinochle.
One mitzvah can change the world; two will just make you tired.
After the destruction of the Second temple, God created Katz's.
Anything worth saying is worth repeating a thousand times.
Never take a front row seat at a Bris.
Next year in Jerusalem. And the year after that, how about a nice cruise?
Never leave a restaurant empty handed.
Spring forward, fall back, winters in Boca.
WASP's leave and never say good bye; Jews say good bye and never leave.
Always whisper the names of diseases.
If it tastes good, it's probably not kosher.
The important Jewish holidays are the ones on which alternate side of the street parking is suspended.
Without Jewish mothers, who would need therapy?
If you have to ask the price, you can't afford it. But if you can afford it, make sure to tell everybody what you paid.
Laugh now, but one day you'll be driving a Lexus and eating dinner at 4:00 in the afternoon in Florida.
USAF (Ret) 1974 - 1994 - The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries. Remembering RickO, a brother in arms.
Comments
Now prove that the Pope is Catholic.
Successful BST transactions with....Coinslave87, ChrisH821, Walkerguy21D, SanctionII.......................Received "You Suck" award 02/18/23
Successful BST transactions with....Coinslave87, ChrisH821, Walkerguy21D, SanctionII.......................Received "You Suck" award 02/18/23
Successful BST transactions with....Coinslave87, ChrisH821, Walkerguy21D, SanctionII.......................Received "You Suck" award 02/18/23
Successful BST transactions with....Coinslave87, ChrisH821, Walkerguy21D, SanctionII.......................Received "You Suck" award 02/18/23
Successful BST transactions with....Coinslave87, ChrisH821, Walkerguy21D, SanctionII.......................Received "You Suck" award 02/18/23
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Looks like our high school pole vault and high jump pit
Lafayette Grading Set
Supposedly a true story: A guy who was not up to date on things like WTF or LOL, thought that LOL meant "lots of Love". He sent an email to an out of state relative expressing sympathy for the lose of his father....but he closed it with LOL. Oops!
Louis Armstrong
I just wish our vault and jump pits had that much cushion in them. 2 1/2 foot pile of damp sawdust. And you were picking it out of your clothes (think Underwear) for days.
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Dear Algebra,
Please stop asking us to find your X. She's never coming
back... and don't ask Y.
The more I get to know people, the more I realize why Noah let
only animals on his ark.
Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than
men actually spend thinking.
Joe: Yesterday, my wife ran off with my best friend Mike.
Al: Since when is Mike your best friend?
Joe: Since yesterday.
Whenever my wife is in the house singing, I'm sitting outside on
the porch... so the neighbors don't think I'm hitting her.
A couple with three children waited in line at San Francisco's Pier 41 to purchase tickets for a boat trip to Alcatraz. Others watched with varying degrees of sympathy and irritation as the young children fidgeted, whined, and punched one another. The frazzled parents reprimanded them to no avail.
Finally they reached the ticket window. "Five tickets, please," the father said. "Two round trip, three one way."
Cheers, RickO
A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card, which said: 'Rest in Peace.'
The owner was angry and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist replied:
'Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry, you should imagine this - somewhere, there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying: 'Congratulations on your new location!''
Cheers, RickO
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
One Sunday a pastor told the congregation that the church needed some extra money and asked the people to prayerfully consider giving a little extra in the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns.
After the offering plates were passed, the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had placed a $1,000 bill in offering. He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregation and said he'd like to personally thank the person who placed the money in the plate.
A very quiet, elderly and saintly lady all the way in the back shyly raised her hand. The pastor asked her to come to the front. Slowly she made her way to the pastor. He told her how wonderful it was that she gave so much and in thanksgiving asked her to pick out three hymns.
Her eyes brightened as she looked over the congregation, pointed to the three handsomest men in the building and said, "I'll take him and him and him."
Cheers, RickO
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Things I didn’t Learn In Hebrew School:
USAF (Ret) 1974 - 1994 - The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries. Remembering RickO, a brother in arms.
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
That might work with pre-1982 copper cents but I wouldn't trust zinc cents for use as a washer.
Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe.
Voltaire: Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value---zero.
,
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
Unless you like replacing washers.
.
Probably a real quiet neighborhood too
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
It is ADA approved also.
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Cheers, RickO
Cheers, RickO
Push the faster friend down.
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
This might not turn out good
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members