Forum Etiquette Question - Is it OK to respond on a first name basis?

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pointfivezero
pointfivezero Posts: 2,005 ✭✭✭✭✭

I wondered about this subject for years but did not see anything when I tried to search for this subject.

I've noticed many conversations in which the responder replies on a first name basis when the OP's actual name is not obvious from their "handle". For example, my user name is "pointfivezero" but my real first name is Tim. Many forum members have their first and/or last name embedded in their user name but most are a mystery.

Through private chats and BST transactions, I know many forum members on a first name basis but I am reluctant to use it in the general forum. My opinion is - if they want their real name shared, they would have it as a part of their user name or sign their posts as I do.

Any thoughts?

Tim

Comments

  • BuffaloIronTail
    BuffaloIronTail Posts: 7,767 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    It doesn't bother me.

    It's much easier to type "Pete" than to type "BuffaloIronTail".

    Pete

    "I tell them there's no problems.....only solutions" - John Lennon
  • FlyingAl
    FlyingAl Posts: 4,478 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    @hammer1 said:

    @ChrisH821 said:
    My first name is top-secret ;)

    Maxwell???

    I swore it was Jerry! :sunglasses:

    On a more serious note, I think that its probably ok as long as the forum member knows in advance. It never hurts to ask before hand. But I do agree that it makes the forum seem a lot more friendly.

  • Mr_Spud
    Mr_Spud Posts: 7,277 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    It’s confusing to other forum members that don’t know who you are talking to if they don’t know that persons name. Other than that it’s ok.

    Mr_Spud

  • skier07
    skier07 Posts: 4,836 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    It appears to be very harmless using your first name but with> @ChrisH821 said:

    My first name is top-secret ;)

    I can think of a few posters with a user name likes yours that have completely different real life names.

  • Kliao
    Kliao Posts: 5,802 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited March 20, 2022 3:15PM
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    For me, I don't mind of my name is used in a post here and there as I understand slipups happen but do prefer it not to be used all the time.

    Collector
    Over 100 Positive BST transactions buying and selling with 57 members and counting!
    instagram.com/klnumismatics

  • PerryHall
    PerryHall Posts: 47,762 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    @Hydrant said:

    @PerryHall said:
    I think most forum members here don't mind being called by their first name as long as you use their preferred pronouns. ;)

    You're funny......PERRY!

    My name isn't Perry. I used to live in Perry Hall, Maryland for 45 years before moving to Florida to be closer to family, especially our four grand kids. :)

    Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe.
    "Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value---zero."----Voltaire
    "Everything you say should be true, but not everything true should be said."----Voltaire

  • pointfivezero
    pointfivezero Posts: 2,005 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Thanks all - although there doesn't appear to be a consensus opinion, I appreciate the feedback. I think I will continue to avoid replying on a first name basis unless there was a previous disclosure.

    Tim

  • johnny9434
    johnny9434 Posts: 34,112 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    @MFeld said:
    I sometimes use first names if/when I’ve had private communications with (and/or met) the member. An additional condition is that I don’t think they dislike me. 😉

    It's a good thing they like you, your a nice guy

  • Namvet69
    Namvet69 Posts: 9,424 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    As long as you don't call me late for dinner. Peace Roy

    BST: endeavor1967, synchr, kliao, Outhaul, Donttellthewife, U1Chicago, ajaan, mCarney1173, SurfinHi, MWallace, Sandman70gt, mustanggt, Pittstate03, Lazybones, Walkerguy21D, coinandcurrency242 , thebigeng, Collectorcoins, JimTyler, USMarine6, Elkevvo, Coll3ctor, Yorkshireman, CUKevin, ranshdow, CoinHunter4, bennybravo, Centsearcher, braddick, Windycity, ZoidMeister, mirabela, JJM, RichURich, Bullsitter, jmski52, LukeMarshall, coinsarefun, MichaelDixon, NickPatton, ProfLiz, Twobitcollector,Jesbroken oih82w8, DCW

  • Hydrant
    Hydrant Posts: 7,773 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    @PerryHall said:

    @Hydrant said:

    @PerryHall said:
    I think most forum members here don't mind being called by their first name as long as you use their preferred pronouns. ;)

    You're funny......PERRY!

    My name isn't Perry. I used to live in Perry Hall, Maryland for 45 years before moving to Florida to be closer to family, especially our four grand kids. :)

    Am I cancelled?

  • PerryHall
    PerryHall Posts: 47,762 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    @Hydrant said:

    @PerryHall said:

    @Hydrant said:

    @PerryHall said:
    I think most forum members here don't mind being called by their first name as long as you use their preferred pronouns. ;)

    You're funny......PERRY!

    My name isn't Perry. I used to live in Perry Hall, Maryland for 45 years before moving to Florida to be closer to family, especially our four grand kids. :)

    Am I cancelled?

    Of course not. :D

    Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe.
    "Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value---zero."----Voltaire
    "Everything you say should be true, but not everything true should be said."----Voltaire

  • csanotes
    csanotes Posts: 491 ✭✭✭✭
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    Just the same as I don’t give out peoples phone numbers to others, I don’t use members legal names unless they put in a thread, or it’s part of their username. I usually stick with some combination or first half of their username when posting publicly. If we have met in person, or had dealings then I will use the persons legal name in private dm’s.

    Chance favors the prepared mind.

  • pointfivezero
    pointfivezero Posts: 2,005 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    @PerryHall said:

    @Hydrant said:

    @PerryHall said:
    I think most forum members here don't mind being called by their first name as long as you use their preferred pronouns. ;)

    You're funny......PERRY!

    My name isn't Perry. I used to live in Perry Hall, Maryland for 45 years before moving to Florida to be closer to family, especially our four grand kids. :)

    Well, if only for this reason, I am glad I started this thread as I learned something new today. I always assumed your name was Perry!

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perry_Hall,_Maryland

    Tim

  • hammer1
    hammer1 Posts: 3,874 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    @pointfivezero said:

    @PerryHall said:

    @Hydrant said:

    @PerryHall said:
    I think most forum members here don't mind being called by their first name as long as you use their preferred pronouns. ;)

    You're funny......PERRY!

    My name isn't Perry. I used to live in Perry Hall, Maryland for 45 years before moving to Florida to be closer to family, especially our four grand kids. :)

    Well, if only for this reason, I am glad I started this thread as I learned something new today. I always assumed your name was Perry!

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perry_Hall,_Maryland

    Tim

    His real name is unusual...Winter

  • WAYNEAS
    WAYNEAS Posts: 7,271 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    @ChrisH821 said:
    My first name is top-secret ;)

    Hi
    I am big brother and not only do we know your name, we know where you live. 🇺🇸😊 lol
    Wayne

    Kennedys are my quest...

  • jesbroken
    jesbroken Posts: 11,253 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    There will always be one or two who prefer you not to use their names, but for the most part, I think that it makes it more credible to call members by their true name if you know it. If you don't know it just try this, "OK, John." "My name is Brad"'
    "Oh, OK, Brad" See how easy it is.
    Jim


    When a man who is honestly mistaken hears the truth, he will either quit being mistaken or cease to be honest....Abraham Lincoln

    Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.....Mark Twain
  • Hydrant
    Hydrant Posts: 7,773 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    @PerryHall said:

    @Hydrant said:

    @PerryHall said:
    I think most forum members here don't mind being called by their first name as long as you use their preferred pronouns. ;)

    You're funny......PERRY!

    My name isn't Perry. I used to live in Perry Hall, Maryland for 45 years before moving to Florida to be closer to family, especially our four grand kids. :)

    Am I cancelled?> @PerryHall said:

    @Hydrant said:

    @PerryHall said:

    @Hydrant said:

    @PerryHall said:
    I think most forum members here don't mind being called by their first name as long as you use their preferred pronouns. ;)

    You're funny......PERRY!

    My name isn't Perry. I used to live in Perry Hall, Maryland for 45 years before moving to Florida to be closer to family, especially our four grand kids. :)

    Am I cancelled?

    Of course not. :D

    Thanks!

  • BryceM
    BryceM Posts: 11,940 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    I decided a long time ago to use my real name in forum conversations. It keeps me nicer, and more grounded in reality. :)

    When commenting about others, I usually follow suit based on what I've seen. The first time I shipped a coin to @PerryHall, I was surprised it wasn't his real name. :)

  • sumdunce
    sumdunce Posts: 1,247 ✭✭✭✭
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    I avoid using my name unless a DMer has used their name then I reply with mine. I figure it helps to avoid the webcrawlers and bots from gathering more intel. on me.

  • ctf_error_coins
    ctf_error_coins Posts: 15,433 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Christopher Talbot Frank, google it ;)

    Chris

  • MsMorrisine
    MsMorrisine Posts: 40,088 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    As far as mine, I try to keep my forum life separate from my real life separate from my eBay life and so forth

    As a story, quite a number of years ago someone posted the real name of an active forumite and it really, really upset the person.

    I am uncomfortable using real names unless I’m really really close to someone. I have interacted ok with most on here, but do I really know them?

    I do use FW for FredWeinberg and such simply because that’s the forum name.

    Current maintainer of Stone's Master List of Favorite Websites // My BST transactions
  • RYK
    RYK Posts: 35,801 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Those who know me in person are free to call me "Consuelo"

  • pointfivezero
    pointfivezero Posts: 2,005 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    @divecchia said:
    When I PM someone, if I know their name I will use it. If they tell me not to use it outside of PM's, then out of respect I will not. For me, I personally don't care if someone uses my name. I type my name after every post and my user name is my last name. It helps me to be more careful as to what I say and it tells everyone else that I stand behind what I say.

    There's no hiding behind a screen name for me.

    Donato

    Well said. This sums up my view quite concisely.

    Tim

  • streeter
    streeter Posts: 4,312 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Just call me in time for dinner.

    I always cracked a smile when mlicker would address TDN as Bruce. Somehow I always thought that was funny. Just not HaHa funny.

    Have a nice day
  • BuffaloIronTail
    BuffaloIronTail Posts: 7,767 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    @gonzer said:
    I see nothing but good camaraderie in doing so......as long as you don't invite yourself to stay for dinner.

    ..................and don't put yourself on IGNORE by mistake.

    Pete

    "I tell them there's no problems.....only solutions" - John Lennon
  • Type2
    Type2 Posts: 13,985 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    So Perry is having every one over for dinner but not Chris or Tim or Jim or me?



    Hoard the keys.
  • cameonut2011
    cameonut2011 Posts: 10,916 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    If someone did it to me, it wouldn’t bother me. I wouldn’t do it to others though as there are potential privacy and security concerns. Even revealing a partial name, it is possible to dig through other posts to try to figure out who a poster is.

  • braddick
    braddick Posts: 25,190 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    @hammer1 said:

    @ChrisH821 said:
    My first name is top-secret ;)

    Maxwell???

    That's a smart answer!

  • pursuitofliberty
    pursuitofliberty Posts: 7,927 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    I know Perry's first name, but I don't use it the threads, mostly because he doesn't. I would say @PerryHall so he would know I was addressing him in a thread and he wouldn't miss it.

    If I PM'd him, I would address him properly ... Sir George the Great! :D ... and we'd be fine.

    Some people, like myself, prefer their names to be used here and on PM's (I put it in my tag line), although I would feel different if we were including last names (who needs that spam?). Mine would be hell to type every time anyway.

    I think it's appropriate when we know each other well enough, and know it doesn't make the other uncomfortable ... but when in doubt, I'd say @pointfivezero instead of, Hey Tim!

    my 2c


    “We are only their care-takers,” he posed, “if we take good care of them, then centuries from now they may still be here … ”

    Todd - BHNC #242
  • pointfivezero
    pointfivezero Posts: 2,005 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    @pursuitofliberty said:
    I know Perry's first name, but I don't use it the threads, mostly because he doesn't. I would say @PerryHall so he would know I was addressing him in a thread and he wouldn't miss it.

    If I PM'd him, I would address him properly ... Sir George the Great! :D ... and we'd be fine.

    Some people, like myself, prefer their names to be used here and on PM's (I put it in my tag line), although I would feel different if we were including last names (who needs that spam?). Mine would be hell to type every time anyway.

    I think it's appropriate when we know each other well enough, and know it doesn't make the other uncomfortable ... but when in doubt, I'd say @pointfivezero instead of, Hey Tim!

    my 2c

    Please feel free to call me Tim. Just not Timothy. That's reserved for my Mom and only when she's upset with me (so I was called Timothy quite often).

    Tim(othy)

  • ShaunBC5
    ShaunBC5 Posts: 1,974 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Obviously my first name isn’t a secret, but I really prefer to use “@username” so they get a little bump that I’m talking to/about them.
    Sometimes I don’t get back to a h thread before it’s off the first page (so ever) so if I’m tagged, I’ve got a much higher likelihood of knowing it.

  • ChrisH821
    ChrisH821 Posts: 7,152 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    @braddick said:

    @hammer1 said:

    @ChrisH821 said:
    My first name is top-secret ;)

    Maxwell???

    That's a smart answer!

    You can just call me 86.

    Collector, occasional seller

  • Zoins
    Zoins Posts: 34,489 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited March 21, 2022 3:06AM
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    @PerryHall said:

    @Hydrant said:

    @PerryHall said:
    I think most forum members here don't mind being called by their first name as long as you use their preferred pronouns. ;)

    You're funny......PERRY!

    My name isn't Perry. I used to live in Perry Hall, Maryland for 45 years before moving to Florida to be closer to family, especially our four grand kids. :)

    It's okay to use a member's name when it's not their real name ;):D

  • ricko
    ricko Posts: 98,724 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    I have never thought about this issue.... I will continue to not think about it. Cheers, RickO

  • PerryHall
    PerryHall Posts: 47,762 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    @Zoins said:

    @PerryHall said:

    @Hydrant said:

    @PerryHall said:
    I think most forum members here don't mind being called by their first name as long as you use their preferred pronouns. ;)

    You're funny......PERRY!

    My name isn't Perry. I used to live in Perry Hall, Maryland for 45 years before moving to Florida to be closer to family, especially our four grand kids. :)

    It's okay to use a member's name when it's not their real name ;):D

    Hey, Zoins. I have no problem with people calling me Perry. ;)

    Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe.
    "Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value---zero."----Voltaire
    "Everything you say should be true, but not everything true should be said."----Voltaire

  • Gazes
    Gazes Posts: 2,315 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    I have been surprised at what information is available online if you for instance just know someone's first name, the city they live in and their profession. If someone does not intentionally disclose their first name on this forum, I think its best not to do it for them.

  • CoinHoarder
    CoinHoarder Posts: 2,736 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited March 21, 2022 4:01AM
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    I never use a forumites name in a post. Unless they are a famous well known member, that everybody knows and uses their name anyway.

  • Treashunt
    Treashunt Posts: 6,748 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Tim:

    Don't sweat it.

    Frank

    Frank

    BHNC #203

  • OKbustchaser
    OKbustchaser Posts: 5,570 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited March 21, 2022 6:32AM
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    My name is Jim. Call me Jim...call me Bustchaser...call me OKBC...I've seen them all on the forum.

    Just don't call me James--unless I'm in trouble.

    Just because I'm old doesn't mean I don't love to look at a pretty bust.
  • FrankH
    FrankH Posts: 982 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    @PerryHall said:

    @Hydrant said:

    @PerryHall said:
    I think most forum members here don't mind being called by their first name as long as you use their preferred pronouns. ;)

    You're funny......PERRY!

    My name isn't Perry. I used to live in Perry Hall, Maryland for 45 years before moving to Florida to be closer to family, especially our four grand kids. :)

    If it wasn't for the word censor, I'd use your first name. :p

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