Forum Etiquette Question - Is it OK to respond on a first name basis?
I wondered about this subject for years but did not see anything when I tried to search for this subject.
I've noticed many conversations in which the responder replies on a first name basis when the OP's actual name is not obvious from their "handle". For example, my user name is "pointfivezero" but my real first name is Tim. Many forum members have their first and/or last name embedded in their user name but most are a mystery.
Through private chats and BST transactions, I know many forum members on a first name basis but I am reluctant to use it in the general forum. My opinion is - if they want their real name shared, they would have it as a part of their user name or sign their posts as I do.
Any thoughts?
Tim
Comments
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I think most forum members here don't mind being called by their first name as long as you use their preferred pronouns.

Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe.
"Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value---zero."----Voltaire
"Everything you say should be true, but not everything true should be said."----Voltaire19 -
I like it.
It is familiar and pleasant and units the forum.5 -
It doesn't bother me.
It's much easier to type "Pete" than to type "BuffaloIronTail".
Pete
"I tell them there's no problems.....only solutions" - John Lennon3 -
I don’t think it makes a big difference one way or the other but if a poster uses their name in their threads addressing them by name is fine. If a poster doesn’t use their name in any of their threads and you happen to know it I don’t think it’s appropriate to disclose it.
6 -
I see nothing but good camaraderie in doing so......as long as you don't invite yourself to stay for dinner.
6 -
My first name is top-secret

Collector, occasional seller
10 -
@ChrisH821 said:
My first name is top-secret
Maxwell???
5 -
I swore it was Jerry!

On a more serious note, I think that its probably ok as long as the forum member knows in advance. It never hurts to ask before hand. But I do agree that it makes the forum seem a lot more friendly.
2 -
It’s confusing to other forum members that don’t know who you are talking to if they don’t know that persons name. Other than that it’s ok.
Mr_Spud
3 -
It appears to be very harmless using your first name but with> @ChrisH821 said:
My first name is top-secret

I can think of a few posters with a user name likes yours that have completely different real life names.
1 -
For me, I don't mind of my name is used in a post here and there as I understand slipups happen but do prefer it not to be used all the time.
Collector
Over 100 Positive BST transactions buying and selling with 57 members and counting!
instagram.com/klnumismatics2 -
I sometimes use first names if/when I’ve had private communications with (and/or met) the member. An additional condition is that I don’t think they dislike me. 😉
Mark Feld* of Heritage Auctions*Unless otherwise noted, my posts here represent my personal opinions.
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@PerryHall said:
I think most forum members here don't mind being called by their first name as long as you use their preferred pronouns.
You're funny......PERRY!
5 -
@Hydrant said:
@PerryHall said:
I think most forum members here don't mind being called by their first name as long as you use their preferred pronouns.
You're funny......PERRY!
My name isn't Perry. I used to live in Perry Hall, Maryland for 45 years before moving to Florida to be closer to family, especially our four grand kids.

Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe.
"Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value---zero."----Voltaire
"Everything you say should be true, but not everything true should be said."----Voltaire4 -
Thanks all - although there doesn't appear to be a consensus opinion, I appreciate the feedback. I think I will continue to avoid replying on a first name basis unless there was a previous disclosure.
Tim
1 -
@MFeld said:
I sometimes use first names if/when I’ve had private communications with (and/or met) the member. An additional condition is that I don’t think they dislike me. 😉It's a good thing they like you, your a nice guy
1 -
As long as you don't call me late for dinner. Peace Roy
BST: endeavor1967, synchr, kliao, Outhaul, Donttellthewife, U1Chicago, ajaan, mCarney1173, SurfinHi, MWallace, Sandman70gt, mustanggt, Pittstate03, Lazybones, Walkerguy21D, coinandcurrency242 , thebigeng, Collectorcoins, JimTyler, USMarine6, Elkevvo, Coll3ctor, Yorkshireman, CUKevin, ranshdow, CoinHunter4, bennybravo, Centsearcher, braddick, Windycity, ZoidMeister, mirabela, JJM, RichURich, Bullsitter, jmski52, LukeMarshall, coinsarefun, MichaelDixon, NickPatton, ProfLiz, Twobitcollector,Jesbroken oih82w8, DCW
4 -
@PerryHall said:
@Hydrant said:
@PerryHall said:
I think most forum members here don't mind being called by their first name as long as you use their preferred pronouns.
You're funny......PERRY!
My name isn't Perry. I used to live in Perry Hall, Maryland for 45 years before moving to Florida to be closer to family, especially our four grand kids.

Am I cancelled?
2 -
@Hydrant said:
@PerryHall said:
@Hydrant said:
@PerryHall said:
I think most forum members here don't mind being called by their first name as long as you use their preferred pronouns.
You're funny......PERRY!
My name isn't Perry. I used to live in Perry Hall, Maryland for 45 years before moving to Florida to be closer to family, especially our four grand kids.

Am I cancelled?
Of course not.

Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe.
"Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value---zero."----Voltaire
"Everything you say should be true, but not everything true should be said."----Voltaire1 -
Just the same as I don’t give out peoples phone numbers to others, I don’t use members legal names unless they put in a thread, or it’s part of their username. I usually stick with some combination or first half of their username when posting publicly. If we have met in person, or had dealings then I will use the persons legal name in private dm’s.
Chance favors the prepared mind.
1 -
@PerryHall said:
@Hydrant said:
@PerryHall said:
I think most forum members here don't mind being called by their first name as long as you use their preferred pronouns.
You're funny......PERRY!
My name isn't Perry. I used to live in Perry Hall, Maryland for 45 years before moving to Florida to be closer to family, especially our four grand kids.

Well, if only for this reason, I am glad I started this thread as I learned something new today. I always assumed your name was Perry!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perry_Hall,_Maryland
Tim
1 -
@pointfivezero said:
@PerryHall said:
@Hydrant said:
@PerryHall said:
I think most forum members here don't mind being called by their first name as long as you use their preferred pronouns.
You're funny......PERRY!
My name isn't Perry. I used to live in Perry Hall, Maryland for 45 years before moving to Florida to be closer to family, especially our four grand kids.

Well, if only for this reason, I am glad I started this thread as I learned something new today. I always assumed your name was Perry!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perry_Hall,_Maryland
Tim
His real name is unusual...Winter
2 -
@ChrisH821 said:
My first name is top-secret
Hi
I am big brother and not only do we know your name, we know where you live. 🇺🇸😊 lol
WayneKennedys are my quest...
2 -
There will always be one or two who prefer you not to use their names, but for the most part, I think that it makes it more credible to call members by their true name if you know it. If you don't know it just try this, "OK, John." "My name is Brad"'
"Oh, OK, Brad" See how easy it is.
Jim
When a man who is honestly mistaken hears the truth, he will either quit being mistaken or cease to be honest....Abraham Lincoln
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.....Mark Twain1 -
@PerryHall said:
@Hydrant said:
@PerryHall said:
I think most forum members here don't mind being called by their first name as long as you use their preferred pronouns.
You're funny......PERRY!
My name isn't Perry. I used to live in Perry Hall, Maryland for 45 years before moving to Florida to be closer to family, especially our four grand kids.

Am I cancelled?> @PerryHall said:
@Hydrant said:
@PerryHall said:
@Hydrant said:
@PerryHall said:
I think most forum members here don't mind being called by their first name as long as you use their preferred pronouns.
You're funny......PERRY!
My name isn't Perry. I used to live in Perry Hall, Maryland for 45 years before moving to Florida to be closer to family, especially our four grand kids.

Am I cancelled?
Of course not.

Thanks!
2 -
I decided a long time ago to use my real name in forum conversations. It keeps me nicer, and more grounded in reality.

When commenting about others, I usually follow suit based on what I've seen. The first time I shipped a coin to @PerryHall, I was surprised it wasn't his real name.
4 -
I avoid using my name unless a DMer has used their name then I reply with mine. I figure it helps to avoid the webcrawlers and bots from gathering more intel. on me.
1 -
Christopher Talbot Frank, google it

Chris
1 -
When I PM someone, if I know their name I will use it. If they tell me not to use it outside of PM's, then out of respect I will not. For me, I personally don't care if someone uses my name. I type my name after every post and my user name is my last name. It helps me to be more careful as to what I say and it tells everyone else that I stand behind what I say.
There's no hiding behind a screen name for me.
Donato
Hobbyist & Collector (not an investor).
Donato's Complete US Type Set ---- Donato's Dansco 7070 Modified Type Set ---- Donato's Basic U.S. Coin Design Set
Successful transactions: Shrub68 (Jim), MWallace (Mike)5 -
As far as mine, I try to keep my forum life separate from my real life separate from my eBay life and so forth
As a story, quite a number of years ago someone posted the real name of an active forumite and it really, really upset the person.
I am uncomfortable using real names unless I’m really really close to someone. I have interacted ok with most on here, but do I really know them?
I do use FW for FredWeinberg and such simply because that’s the forum name.
Current maintainer of Stone's Master List of Favorite Websites // My BST transactions1 -
Those who know me in person are free to call me "Consuelo"
2 -
@divecchia said:
When I PM someone, if I know their name I will use it. If they tell me not to use it outside of PM's, then out of respect I will not. For me, I personally don't care if someone uses my name. I type my name after every post and my user name is my last name. It helps me to be more careful as to what I say and it tells everyone else that I stand behind what I say.There's no hiding behind a screen name for me.
Donato
Well said. This sums up my view quite concisely.
Tim
2 -
Just call me in time for dinner.
I always cracked a smile when mlicker would address TDN as Bruce. Somehow I always thought that was funny. Just not HaHa funny.
Have a nice day1 -
@gonzer said:
I see nothing but good camaraderie in doing so......as long as you don't invite yourself to stay for dinner...................and don't put yourself on IGNORE by mistake.
Pete
"I tell them there's no problems.....only solutions" - John Lennon1 -
So Perry is having every one over for dinner but not Chris or Tim or Jim or me?
Hoard the keys.1 -
If someone did it to me, it wouldn’t bother me. I wouldn’t do it to others though as there are potential privacy and security concerns. Even revealing a partial name, it is possible to dig through other posts to try to figure out who a poster is.
1 -
That's a smart answer!
3 -
I know Perry's first name, but I don't use it the threads, mostly because he doesn't. I would say @PerryHall so he would know I was addressing him in a thread and he wouldn't miss it.
If I PM'd him, I would address him properly ... Sir George the Great!
... and we'd be fine.Some people, like myself, prefer their names to be used here and on PM's (I put it in my tag line), although I would feel different if we were including last names (who needs that spam?). Mine would be hell to type every time anyway.
I think it's appropriate when we know each other well enough, and know it doesn't make the other uncomfortable ... but when in doubt, I'd say @pointfivezero instead of, Hey Tim!
my 2c
“We are only their care-takers,” he posed, “if we take good care of them, then centuries from now they may still be here … ”
Todd - BHNC #2422 -
@pursuitofliberty said:
I know Perry's first name, but I don't use it the threads, mostly because he doesn't. I would say @PerryHall so he would know I was addressing him in a thread and he wouldn't miss it.If I PM'd him, I would address him properly ... Sir George the Great!
... and we'd be fine.Some people, like myself, prefer their names to be used here and on PM's (I put it in my tag line), although I would feel different if we were including last names (who needs that spam?). Mine would be hell to type every time anyway.
I think it's appropriate when we know each other well enough, and know it doesn't make the other uncomfortable ... but when in doubt, I'd say @pointfivezero instead of, Hey Tim!
my 2c
Please feel free to call me Tim. Just not Timothy. That's reserved for my Mom and only when she's upset with me (so I was called Timothy quite often).
Tim(othy)
3 -
@pointfivezero said:
@pursuitofliberty said:
I know Perry's first name, but I don't use it the threads, mostly because he doesn't. I would say @PerryHall so he would know I was addressing him in a thread and he wouldn't miss it.If I PM'd him, I would address him properly ... Sir George the Great!
... and we'd be fine.Some people, like myself, prefer their names to be used here and on PM's (I put it in my tag line), although I would feel different if we were including last names (who needs that spam?). Mine would be hell to type every time anyway.
I think it's appropriate when we know each other well enough, and know it doesn't make the other uncomfortable ... but when in doubt, I'd say @pointfivezero instead of, Hey Tim!
my 2c
Please feel free to call me Tim. Just not Timothy. That's reserved for my Mom and only when she's upset with me (so I was called Timothy quite often).
Tim(othy)
Just you wait until pointfivezerosmom registers here, Timothy.
JK Coin Photography - eBay Consignments | High Quality Photos | LOW Prices | 20% of Consignment Proceeds Go to Pancreatic Cancer Research5 -
Obviously my first name isn’t a secret, but I really prefer to use “@username” so they get a little bump that I’m talking to/about them.
Sometimes I don’t get back to a h thread before it’s off the first page (so ever) so if I’m tagged, I’ve got a much higher likelihood of knowing it.3 -
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@PerryHall said:
@Hydrant said:
@PerryHall said:
I think most forum members here don't mind being called by their first name as long as you use their preferred pronouns.
You're funny......PERRY!
My name isn't Perry. I used to live in Perry Hall, Maryland for 45 years before moving to Florida to be closer to family, especially our four grand kids.

It's okay to use a member's name when it's not their real name

2 -
I have never thought about this issue.... I will continue to not think about it. Cheers, RickO
1 -
@Zoins said:
@PerryHall said:
@Hydrant said:
@PerryHall said:
I think most forum members here don't mind being called by their first name as long as you use their preferred pronouns.
You're funny......PERRY!
My name isn't Perry. I used to live in Perry Hall, Maryland for 45 years before moving to Florida to be closer to family, especially our four grand kids.

It's okay to use a member's name when it's not their real name


Hey, Zoins. I have no problem with people calling me Perry.

Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe.
"Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value---zero."----Voltaire
"Everything you say should be true, but not everything true should be said."----Voltaire2 -
I have been surprised at what information is available online if you for instance just know someone's first name, the city they live in and their profession. If someone does not intentionally disclose their first name on this forum, I think its best not to do it for them.
4 -
I never use a forumites name in a post. Unless they are a famous well known member, that everybody knows and uses their name anyway.
1 -
Tim:
Don't sweat it.
Frank
Frank
BHNC #2031 -
My name is Jim. Call me Jim...call me Bustchaser...call me OKBC...I've seen them all on the forum.
Just don't call me James--unless I'm in trouble.
Just because I'm old doesn't mean I don't love to look at a pretty bust.3 -
@PerryHall said:
@Hydrant said:
@PerryHall said:
I think most forum members here don't mind being called by their first name as long as you use their preferred pronouns.
You're funny......PERRY!
My name isn't Perry. I used to live in Perry Hall, Maryland for 45 years before moving to Florida to be closer to family, especially our four grand kids.

If it wasn't for the word censor, I'd use your first name.
2
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