Coins and Girlfriends - a deadly mix? - One month update
kieferscoins
Posts: 10,017 ✭
Okay. I finally got a girlfriend. She is funny, nice, good looking, and even thinks coins are cool but "kind of nerdy."
I haven't shared my collection with her yet.
Now staying on the coin topic....
Alot of people I know about my age have dropped out of collecting. They find other interests including girls. I am not worried about dropping out at all, but I can tell that part of my collecting funds may be diverted to other things now, including dates and dances (the harvest dance this weekend). Any hints or ideas on how to deal with it? Should I just become more selective when buying the coins for my set, or sell off duplicates as the time goes? This may actually help me focus more on my set goal for my PCGS CNS Type Set.
Cameron Kiefer
I haven't shared my collection with her yet. Now staying on the coin topic....Alot of people I know about my age have dropped out of collecting. They find other interests including girls.
I am not worried about dropping out at all, but I can tell that part of my collecting funds may be diverted to other things now, including dates and dances (the harvest dance this weekend). Any hints or ideas on how to deal with it? Should I just become more selective when buying the coins for my set, or sell off duplicates as the time goes? This may actually help me focus more on my set goal for my PCGS CNS Type Set.Cameron Kiefer
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I'll think you'll find the MS60+ girls cost more than MS60+ coins, but they're a lot nicer to hold and and look at
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If not, stick to the coins. Another girlfriend will come along soon enough.
"Seu cabra da peste,
"Sou Mangueira......."
Neil
K S
<< <i>If not, stick to the coins. Another girlfriend will come along soon enough. >>
She respects my interest in coins.
<< <i>A good woman is better than a coin collection. (shocking enough as it is) >>
That is hard to believe. I will still save money for my collection. Got to keep the collecting bug alive.
Cameron Kiefer
A few very important ( but only somewhat serious) pointers :
1) Girls/women can "wear" on you, just as coins can acquire "wear".
2) I'd be more concerned about a wife than a girlfriend - once you get married, depending upon where (not wear!) you live, you might have to worry about community property laws - yikes!
3) If she really is " funny, nice, good looking, and even thinks coins are cool but "kind of nerdy" she sounds pretty bright!
4) Remember that the "date" on a coin can be much more important than going on a "date".
5) People are more important than coins.
The disadvantage: Not getting or doing everything you want, when or where you may want it.
The advantage: having your interests, loves, desires magnified in value by the addition of another human's intimate perspective.
I will now check my natural inclination to say something sarcastic, and let those statements stand.
Cameron, I think it's great. Let the good times roll.
You said
<< <i>In the long haul a good woman will cost a lot more than a good coin collection >>
To that, I would like to add - without the aid of plastic surgery (or Mother Nature's kindness) it is highly unlikley that a good woman can get upgraded like a good coin can.
<< <i> I asked when he had all the mint sets, and holes filled up in his folders from the 1940's to 1955, and nothing after 1955; he stated that that was the year he started dating my Mom. >>
I am not going to leave the hobby. No way! I think I am going to save up the next few months for the FUN show (will be there a whole week).
Cameron Kiefer
She sounds like a keeper, no?
Anyway, if you are even remotely thinking of settling down, you should do everything you can to keep her, if she's the one.
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Cameron Kiefer
Make this your relationship coin.
You do know about condoms,Don't you??
Cam met a girl that was hot
questioned whether to date her or not
But to spend his coin money
on this heavenly honey
Got his shorts all tied up in a knot
Cheers,
Bob
Cameron Kiefer
LSCC#1864
Ebay Stuff
My wife tolerates coins (mostly because she knows it pays the bills). I look for ways to involve her without making her deal with coins themselves. She answers the phones, processes credit cards, handles much of the mail (in and out) and so forth. I have discovered that she does like to look at pretty coins, particularly attractively toned ones, so I share those with her. I don't push her to experience areas she is not interested in. She and the kids enjoy the ANA shows, because of the features the ANA provides for YNs and they're all going to help me in a few weeks running one of our tables at a local show--not because they like coins but for the fun of transacting business.
It is important in any relationship to have things you do together and things you each do by yourselves. So, make sure you give her an important chunk of your time, whether it is doing things together you both like or exploring some of her interests (as you'd like her to do with yours).
Good luck,
WH
Don't think of personal relationships in dollars and cents.
Don't make decisions that effect another person or your relationship with that person based on the fact that you want another coin or two, this can only cause hurt feelings in the long run. However, remember your hobby will be important to you for a long time, if you put it on hold or walk away from it you may hold this above the relationship for a long time - not good.
Do include her in your hobby, if she gets it she gets it. If she just tolerates it, you're still ahead of some other people. If she doesn't like it at all, you'd be best to know now.
If you ever think that you have women figured out, think again, cuz you're further from the truth than you think.
Good luck.
<< <i>To that, I would like to add - without the aid of plastic surgery (or Mother Nature's kindness) it is highly unlikley that a good woman can get upgraded like a good coin can. >>
But women are like fine wine, they get better with age (just in case my wife reads this)
NWCS- Should I add below it. Owner of the $100,000 pissing minuteman quarter Price qoute from the wackjob!
<< <i>But women are like fine wine, they get better with age (just in case my wife reads this) >>
I remember a quote from dilbert... "but some guys are just corksniffers."
K S
Just kidding,congrats!
Like everything else, there must be balance, you can have your coins and a lady too!
Joe
P.S. Bring her along for that steak dinner I owe you, Santa Maria style BBQ is the best! (PM me if you're ever going to be passing through)
Dave
I agree with ElContador. If you were to have met someone who was embarrassed at the "geekiness" of your coin collecting, it wouldn't bode well for your relationship (always beware of those whose main objective is changing you into someone else).
Clankeye also made an excellent point about having to think about someone else when dating. Coin collecting or any similar hobby can make one terribly self-absorbed. When you have to consider the interest of a girlfriend or, even more importantly, a wife, you ahve to learn to be more considerate and less selfish. It's a hard lesson to learn, and no one ever finishes the class. After you get married, then you oftentimes have to consider the wants and needs of children, too.
I went on a spending spree right before I got married and finally got an 1870-CC dollar and some other coins I'd wanted for a while. After getting married I had to slow way down because I found I had other responsibilities, but I still can collect (I just have to choose less expensive coins). Keep both dating and collecting in balance and it won't have to be an either/or proposition.
Obscurum per obscurius
"Senorita HepKitty"
"I want a real cool Kitty from Hepcat City, to stay in step with me" - Bill Carter
Given that you might well make your career in the coin business, I think that puts numismatics on a different level with your girlfriend. In particular, it's not "collecting" that she must "tolerate;" instead coins might be how you earn a living. And, I think that most people (including girlfriends and spouses) are generally a lot more understanding about a career they might find odd than a hobby they find odd. So you might have a bit less to worry about than otherwise.
Indeed, compared to the very few women who collect coins, there seem to me to be more women making a living selling coins. Clearly I (for that matter, none of the board members) do not know what your girlfriend is interested in. But there is at least a possiblity that her interests extend to the idea that numismatics is a potential source of a job for her as well as you. So, depending on her interests, you might explore this possiblity.
For what it is worth, I think very few collectors collect all their life. Most drop out when they first start raising a family. Then many (such as myself) return when they are older. On the other hand, I think many of the most successful dealers do NOT drop out--they move from collecting to dealing without a pause. And, of course, David Ganz provides an example of another career path: He apparently didn't drop out but makes his living as an attorney who seems to have a lot of work related to numismatics.
Mark
Tom
<< <i>Do you have a picture of your girlfriend? How about your coins? >>
Now take the girlfriends face and place it on the scanner... Don't know it's so easy with coins....
Lucy-You need to start on Kennedy's, so you can give Russ a run for his money!!
When it comes to women, I prefer the Moderns.
Otherwise, there are a lot of similarities
<< <i>When it comes to women, I prefer the Moderns >>
Hey Daddy-O....Some of those 'classic' kitty's may surprise you!!!!!
"Senorita HepKitty"
"I want a real cool Kitty from Hepcat City, to stay in step with me" - Bill Carter
Let's just say, I'm hiding behind the ambiguity of what defines a "Modern."
YOU HAD better sell off some of the duplicates you have and that is okie and if you get a little more than you paid well that is better!!
and you will have to be way selective in your buying habits with coins and that is also good!!
for me you are not even married and you are having coin problems! i mean it is only a casual thing girlfriend boyfriend but it is good to have a young gurl as you are starting off in life and need that along with a job and getting your life together whichj is good!!
but wait until you get married!! i mean you are sort of saying in your posts there is no romance wirthout finance and if you want to honey you need the money how true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and if you get into a marriage where you are the s1it taker then NO MORE COINS FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
also do you know of any young women that are beteeen the ages of 24 and 37 who are slender pretty and employed living on their own completely supporting themselves and not with any mental health related problems nor on medication for such, and not living with their mother,
whom might be interested in an older mid's 40;s white man that is a rreally nice sweet fantastic person on the inside but not so hot on the outside? who cant give them anything financially but can give love and kindness and understanding and also is not in the best of health but can take care of himself
let me know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sincerely michael
It's purposely ambiguous so that if, by some unforseen reason, it turns out you aren't a great lover (in the eyes of your new woman) you can claim that the thread title was a reference to your being a lover of great coins.
but if i do ever find someone it will be true love as that is the only thing i have to offer............lol
and also it would not hurt if the person would like to talk specifically on certain coin specialities for hours and hours
hours and hours and hours........................
sincerely michael
A few pictures of my coins in my set, but I am not going to put her picture up on the internet. I don't know how many people remember the rate my girlfriend thread another person put up a few months ago - horrible.
Thanks everyone for your insight. I am going to re-read the posts.
Cameron Kiefer
Seriously, I wouldn't sell your coins for her. Women come and go - sometimes at an alarming rate for some of us. When you find the right one, then you can consider selling your coins for something special, like a down payment on a house. A year from now you probably won't even remember her name. Will you remember the coins you sold for her? Probably.
You'll just need to spend less money in other areas in order to pay for dates. Does that have to be coins? I don't know your financial situation, so I can't say. Do you spend 100% of your disposable income on coins?
It's nice that she doesn't think collecting is 100% geekish. A long time ago I had a girlfriend that thought coin collecting was extremely geekish. I'd have dumped her had she not been so great in..um..getting off track here.
Above all, have her pay for part of the expenses for dating. The days of women getting treated to everything went out with equal rights. If she won't pay, then she probably isn't a keeper. If she's not a keeper, your coins probably are.
Your feelings will yield the way. Your "smarts" will guide you. Your "desires" may mislead you.
"You" only know. We've all been there.
Keep us informed of your path.
Dan
I just read this whole thread. Here are my thoughts.
1. Don't listen to DorkKarl, his name says it all! (No offense intended DK, LOL!)
2. Greg summed it up pretty well a couple posts back. Find someone that's willing to contribute equally. You know they want to be treated as equals.
3. If she doesn't respect your interests, she won't respect you. If she doesn't respect you, then she's only there for her. It'll be a 1 way relationship.
4. Continue with your interests and hobbys. Encourage hers.
5. Try to draw her into your interests (subtly, of course). Show interest in her interests and hobbys. She won't respect yours unless you reciprocate.
6. I took my wife and 3 kids to the ANA convention in NYC. I stayed the whole day. They made a few little side trips for shopping and other stuff. They also helped me locate 2 of the coins I had as my goals for the day.
7. It all comes down to a give and take situation. You have to be willing to give as much as you are asking for!
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K S
I wonder if she has any hobbies of her own. I am always suspicious of people without a hobby.
If I had to choose, it would be coins every time.
Brian.