Two cannibals meet one day. The first cannibal says, "You know, I just can't seem to get a tender Missionary. I've baked them, I've roasted them, I've stewed them, I've tried every sort of marinade. I just can't seem to get them tender."
The second cannibal asks, "What kind of Missionary do you use?"
The other replied, "You know, the ones that hang out at that place at the bend of the river. They have those brown cloaks with a rope around the waist and they're sort of bald on top with a funny ring of hair on their heads."
"Ah, ah!" the second cannibal replies. "No wonder...those are friars!"
A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph 's Hospital. She timidly asked,
'Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?'
The operator said, 'I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number?'
The grandmother, in her weak tremulous voice said, ''Norma Findlay, Room 302.'
The operator replied, 'Let me place you on hold while I check with her nurse.'
After a few minutes the operator returned to the phone and said, 'Oh, I have good news. Her nurse told me that Norma is doing very well.. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work is normal and her physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged on Tuesday.'
The grandmother said, 'Thank you. That's wonderful! I was so worried! God bless you for the good news.'
The operator replied, 'You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?'
The grandmother said, 'No, I'm Norma Findlay in 302. No one tells me s**t.'
I have been pondering these new hair dews. I love westerns, support the green new deal, probably have eaten a few spiders while snoring at night, and love to play chess. Such an important decision.
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
I have been pondering these new hair dews. I love westerns, support the green new deal, probably have eaten a few spiders while snoring at night, and love to play chess. Such an important decision.
I'm guessing these guys should practice saying "Do you want fries with that?"
"When they can't find anything wrong with you, they create it!"
Word play
Atheism is a not-for-prophet organization.
I went to a bookstore and asked a salesperson, "Where's the Selfhelp section?" To which she replied,"If I told you, it would defeat
the purpose."
What if there were no hypothetical questions? Hm-m-m.
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it
considered a hostage situation?
Is there another word for synonym?
Where do forest rangers go to 'get away from it all'?
Flying high!
On a recent overseas flight there was an incident.
An attendant made the announcement: "Passengers. Our
catering crew miscounted, and, though our flight is full, they
delivered only 80 dinners. We are asking those of you who are
not hungry to give up your meal so we can feed those who are.
"As a thank you, we are offering passengers who give up their
dinner free unlimited drinks for the remainder of the flight."
Two hours later the attendant came back on and announced:
"If anybody is hungry, we still have 80 dinners available."
Reintarnation: Dying and coming back as a hillbilly.
USAF (Ret) 1974 - 1994 - The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries. Remembering RickO, a brother in arms.
Comments
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Two cannibals meet one day. The first cannibal says, "You know, I just can't seem to get a tender Missionary. I've baked them, I've roasted them, I've stewed them, I've tried every sort of marinade. I just can't seem to get them tender."
The second cannibal asks, "What kind of Missionary do you use?"
The other replied, "You know, the ones that hang out at that place at the bend of the river. They have those brown cloaks with a rope around the waist and they're sort of bald on top with a funny ring of hair on their heads."
"Ah, ah!" the second cannibal replies. "No wonder...those are friars!"
Cheers, RickO
A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph 's Hospital. She timidly asked,
'Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?'
The operator said, 'I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number?'
The grandmother, in her weak tremulous voice said, ''Norma Findlay, Room 302.'
The operator replied, 'Let me place you on hold while I check with her nurse.'
After a few minutes the operator returned to the phone and said, 'Oh, I have good news. Her nurse told me that Norma is doing very well.. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work is normal and her physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged on Tuesday.'
The grandmother said, 'Thank you. That's wonderful! I was so worried! God bless you for the good news.'
The operator replied, 'You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?'
The grandmother said, 'No, I'm Norma Findlay in 302. No one tells me s**t.'
Cheers, RickO
must've been administered in the rectus pipus.
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
I have been pondering these new hair dews. I love westerns, support the green new deal, probably have eaten a few spiders while snoring at night, and love to play chess. Such an important decision.
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
ht
I'm guessing these guys should practice saying "Do you want fries with that?"
"When they can't find anything wrong with you, they create it!"
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Cheers, RickO
JUST KIDDING!
Word play
Atheism is a not-for-prophet organization.
I went to a bookstore and asked a salesperson, "Where's the Selfhelp section?" To which she replied,"If I told you, it would defeat
the purpose."
What if there were no hypothetical questions? Hm-m-m.
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it
considered a hostage situation?
Is there another word for synonym?
Where do forest rangers go to 'get away from it all'?
Flying high!
On a recent overseas flight there was an incident.
An attendant made the announcement: "Passengers. Our
catering crew miscounted, and, though our flight is full, they
delivered only 80 dinners. We are asking those of you who are
not hungry to give up your meal so we can feed those who are.
"As a thank you, we are offering passengers who give up their
dinner free unlimited drinks for the remainder of the flight."
Two hours later the attendant came back on and announced:
"If anybody is hungry, we still have 80 dinners available."
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
bike 1 & car 0
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Reintarnation: Dying and coming back as a hillbilly.
USAF (Ret) 1974 - 1994 - The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries. Remembering RickO, a brother in arms.
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Wrong pot.
Looks like Rocky Balboa.
Hang on Snoopy, Snoopy hang on.
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Moving Day
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
don't know if I'm more scared of the cat or the hand?
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Cheers, RickO
Cheers, RickO
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Cheers, RickO
don't forget to wear your new shoes when you go out for date night
****
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
"When they can't find anything wrong with you, they create it!"
Cheers, RickO