Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe.
"Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value---zero."----Voltaire
"Everything you say should be true, but not everything true should be said."----Voltaire
Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe.
"Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value---zero."----Voltaire
"Everything you say should be true, but not everything true should be said."----Voltaire
A man walked into a bar on a slow night and sat down. After a few minutes, the bartender asked him if he wanted a drink.
He replied, "No thanks. I don't drink. I tried it once, but I didn't like it."
So the bartender said, "Well, would you like a cigarette?"
But the man said, "No thanks. I don't smoke. I tried it once, but I didn't like it."
The bartender asked him if he'd like to play a game of pool, and again the man said, "No thanks. I don't like pool. I tried it once, but I didn't like it. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't be here at all, but I'm waiting for my son."
The bartender said, "Your only son, I'm guessing."
Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into heaven, they would each have to answer one question. St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, “What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg? They just made a movie about it.” The teacher answered quickly, “That would be the Titanic.” St. Peter let her through the gate. St. Peter turned to the garbage man and figuring heaven didn’t REALLY need all the odors this guy would bring with him, decided to make the question a little harder: “How many people died on the ship?” But the trash man had just seen the movie, too, and he answered, “about 1,500.”“That’s right! You may enter,” said Peter. Then St. Peter turned to the lawyer and said, “Name them.”
At school, a boy is told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth" even when you don't know anything.
The boy decides to go home and try it out. As he is greeted by his mother at the front door he says, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father."
Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day, when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth."
The mailman drops the mail, opens his arms and says, "Then come give your FATHER a big hug!"
A Humorous FAIRY TALE:
Once upon a time there lived a King who had the most beautiful daughter.
But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt.
No matter what: Metal, Wood, Stone
Anything she touched would melt.
Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her.
The King despaired. What could he do to help his daughter?
He consulted his wizards and magicians. One wizard told the King, 'If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt in her hands, she will be cured.'
The King was overjoyed and came up with a plan.
The next day, he held a competition. Any man that could bring his daughter an object that would not melt would marry her and inherit the King's wealth.
THREE YOUNG PRINCES TOOK UP THE CHALLENGE.
The first brought a sword of the finest steel.
But alas, when the Princess touched it, it melted.
The prince went away, sadly.
The second prince brought diamonds.
He thought diamonds are the hardest substance in the world and would not melt.
But alas, once the Princess touched them, they melted.
He too was sent away disappointed.
The third prince approached. He told the Princess,
'Put your hand in my pocket and feel what is in there.'
The Princess did as she was told, though she turned red.
She felt some thing very hard. She held it in her hand.
And it did not melt!!!
The King was over joyed. Everybody in the kingdom was over joyed.
And the Prince married the Princess and they both lived happily ever after
Question: What was in the Prince's pants?
M&M's of course! They melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
What on earth were you thinking?
I WORRY ABOUT YOU AT TIMES!
USAF (Ret) 1974 - 1994 - The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries. Remembering RickO, a brother in arms.
Several days ago, as I left a meeting at a hotel, I desperately gave myself a personal "TSA pat down."
I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets.
A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing.
Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot.
My wife has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition.
My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them.
Her theory is that the car will be stolen. As I burst through the door, I came to a terrifying conclusion: her theory was right. The parking lot was empty.
I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen. The police said they’d get right on it.
Then I made the most difficult call of all. "Honey," I stammered. (I always call her "honey" in times like these.) "I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen."
There was a period of silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard her voice. "Idiot", she barked, "I dropped you off!"
Now it was my time to be silent.
Embarrassed, I said, "Well, come and get me."
She retorted, "I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not stolen your car."
Yep, it's the golden years.
@amwldcoin said:
If you want to break the silence after someone rips a fart, just look at them and say
“Speak to me O toothless one!”
...with your big lips and bald head.
USAF (Ret) 1974 - 1994 - The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries. Remembering RickO, a brother in arms.
Back in the '80s when I was in the Navy I was on Shore Duty and I was taking classes to complete my bachelor's degree. One day I had to go on base during my off time to take a test. After taking the test and fortunately I passed, I went to the parking lot to get into my truck and drive home. That's when the problem started. I reached in my pocket and didn't have the keys. I looked in the car and couldn't find them till I went over on the rider side and the keys were in the ignition, just staring at me. I had no choice but to go back in to the building and call my wife and explain to her that I'd locked my keys in the car and she need to come and bring my spare keys so I could go to work. After driving about 25 miles to bring my spare keys she got out of her car walked over to my truck and stared for a couple minutes. She looked at me and threw the keys. She then yelled while she was walking back to her car you stupid blank blank blank, your window was rolled down. Well I'm still waiting for this conversation to end and it doesn't look like it's going to be in the near future either.
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Comments
It's called the heel.
Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe.
"Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value---zero."----Voltaire
"Everything you say should be true, but not everything true should be said."----Voltaire
The heel.
Great transactions with oih82w8, JasonGaming, Moose1913.
Is there an echo here?
Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe.
"Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value---zero."----Voltaire
"Everything you say should be true, but not everything true should be said."----Voltaire
Cheers, RickO
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
A man walked into a bar on a slow night and sat down. After a few minutes, the bartender asked him if he wanted a drink.
He replied, "No thanks. I don't drink. I tried it once, but I didn't like it."
So the bartender said, "Well, would you like a cigarette?"
But the man said, "No thanks. I don't smoke. I tried it once, but I didn't like it."
The bartender asked him if he'd like to play a game of pool, and again the man said, "No thanks. I don't like pool. I tried it once, but I didn't like it. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't be here at all, but I'm waiting for my son."
The bartender said, "Your only son, I'm guessing."
Cheers, RickO
Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into heaven, they would each have to answer one question. St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, “What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg? They just made a movie about it.” The teacher answered quickly, “That would be the Titanic.” St. Peter let her through the gate. St. Peter turned to the garbage man and figuring heaven didn’t REALLY need all the odors this guy would bring with him, decided to make the question a little harder: “How many people died on the ship?” But the trash man had just seen the movie, too, and he answered, “about 1,500.”“That’s right! You may enter,” said Peter. Then St. Peter turned to the lawyer and said, “Name them.”
Cheers, RickO
At school, a boy is told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth" even when you don't know anything.
The boy decides to go home and try it out. As he is greeted by his mother at the front door he says, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father."
Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day, when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth."
The mailman drops the mail, opens his arms and says, "Then come give your FATHER a big hug!"
Cheers, RickO
Cheers, RickO
It's called the crust around here.
Smitten with DBLCs.
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
A Humorous FAIRY TALE:
Once upon a time there lived a King who had the most beautiful daughter.
But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt.
No matter what: Metal, Wood, Stone
Anything she touched would melt.
Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her.
The King despaired. What could he do to help his daughter?
He consulted his wizards and magicians. One wizard told the King, 'If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt in her hands, she will be cured.'
The King was overjoyed and came up with a plan.
The next day, he held a competition. Any man that could bring his daughter an object that would not melt would marry her and inherit the King's wealth.
THREE YOUNG PRINCES TOOK UP THE CHALLENGE.
The first brought a sword of the finest steel.
But alas, when the Princess touched it, it melted.
The prince went away, sadly.
The second prince brought diamonds.
He thought diamonds are the hardest substance in the world and would not melt.
But alas, once the Princess touched them, they melted.
He too was sent away disappointed.
The third prince approached. He told the Princess,
'Put your hand in my pocket and feel what is in there.'
The Princess did as she was told, though she turned red.
She felt some thing very hard. She held it in her hand.
And it did not melt!!!
The King was over joyed. Everybody in the kingdom was over joyed.
And the Prince married the Princess and they both lived happily ever after
Question: What was in the Prince's pants?
M&M's of course! They melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
What on earth were you thinking?
I WORRY ABOUT YOU AT TIMES!
Wayne
www.waynedriskillminiatures.com
If you want to break the silence after someone rips a fart, just look at them and say
“Speak to me O toothless one!”
"When they can't find anything wrong with you, they create it!"
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
My brother-in-law used to say, “Speak to me sweet ruby lips.”
Your not alone it seems.
I'm waiting!
USAF (Ret) 1974 - 1994 - The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries. Remembering RickO, a brother in arms.
Several days ago, as I left a meeting at a hotel, I desperately gave myself a personal "TSA pat down."
I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets.
A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing.
Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot.
My wife has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition.
My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them.
Her theory is that the car will be stolen. As I burst through the door, I came to a terrifying conclusion: her theory was right. The parking lot was empty.
I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen. The police said they’d get right on it.
Then I made the most difficult call of all. "Honey," I stammered. (I always call her "honey" in times like these.) "I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen."
There was a period of silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard her voice. "Idiot", she barked, "I dropped you off!"
Now it was my time to be silent.
Embarrassed, I said, "Well, come and get me."
She retorted, "I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not stolen your car."
Yep, it's the golden years.
...with your big lips and bald head.
USAF (Ret) 1974 - 1994 - The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries. Remembering RickO, a brother in arms.
Back in the '80s when I was in the Navy I was on Shore Duty and I was taking classes to complete my bachelor's degree. One day I had to go on base during my off time to take a test. After taking the test and fortunately I passed, I went to the parking lot to get into my truck and drive home. That's when the problem started. I reached in my pocket and didn't have the keys. I looked in the car and couldn't find them till I went over on the rider side and the keys were in the ignition, just staring at me. I had no choice but to go back in to the building and call my wife and explain to her that I'd locked my keys in the car and she need to come and bring my spare keys so I could go to work. After driving about 25 miles to bring my spare keys she got out of her car walked over to my truck and stared for a couple minutes. She looked at me and threw the keys. She then yelled while she was walking back to her car you stupid blank blank blank, your window was rolled down. Well I'm still waiting for this conversation to end and it doesn't look like it's going to be in the near future either.
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members