The forum needs a little humor.
Comments
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USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members4 -
A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer asks her some questions:
Officer: What's 2 + 2?Blonde: Ummm... 4!
Officer: What's the square root of 100?
Blonde: Ummm... 10!
Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln?
Blonde: Ummm... I dunno.
Officer: Well, you can go home and think about it. Come back tomorrow.
The blonde goes home and calls up one of her friends, who asks her if she got the job.
The blonde replies excitedly, "Not only did I get the job, I'm already working on a murder case."
Cheers, RickO
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A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
Suddenly, her husband burst into the ki tchen.
"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD!
You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful . CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them.
Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."
Cheers, RickO
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Cheers, RickO
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The first-grade teacher was showing pictures of animals to her students to see how many they could name. She held up a picture of a lamb, and a little girl said, "That's a sheep!"
"That's right!" said the teacher. "How about THIS one?" she said, holding up a picture of the king of beasts.
"That's a lion!" answered a little boy.
"Right!" said the teacher. Then she held up a picture of a deer. No one volunteered an answer. She tried to help. "What does your mother call your father?"
Johnny said, "I know! That's a lazy old goat!"
Cheers, RickO
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USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members1 -
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members4 -
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members1 -
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members0 -
@ricko said:
The first-grade teacher was showing pictures of animals to her students to see how many they could name. She held up a picture of a lamb, and a little girl said, "That's a sheep!""That's right!" said the teacher. "How about THIS one?" she said, holding up a picture of the king of beasts.
"That's a lion!" answered a little boy.
"Right!" said the teacher. Then she held up a picture of a deer. No one volunteered an answer. She tried to help. "What does your mother call your father?"
Johnny said, "I know! That's a lazy old goat!"
Cheers, RickO
I always heard that as horny bastard.
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USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members1 -
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members0 -
A new business may be moving to this location in the very near future
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members1 -
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USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members3 -
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members1 -
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members15 -
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members1 -
@Smudge said:
@ricko said:
The first-grade teacher was showing pictures of animals to her students to see how many they could name. She held up a picture of a lamb, and a little girl said, "That's a sheep!""That's right!" said the teacher. "How about THIS one?" she said, holding up a picture of the king of beasts.
"That's a lion!" answered a little boy.
"Right!" said the teacher. Then she held up a picture of a deer. No one volunteered an answer. She tried to help. "What does your mother call your father?"
Johnny said, "I know! That's a lazy old goat!"
Cheers, RickO
I always heard that as horny bastard.
You were?
"May the silver waves that bear you heavenward be filled with love’s whisperings"
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown1 -
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Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
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Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
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USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members0 -
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members5 -
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members1 -
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"When they can't find anything wrong with you, they create it!"
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USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members1 -
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members3 -
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members3 -
"May the silver waves that bear you heavenward be filled with love’s whisperings"
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown1 -
"May the silver waves that bear you heavenward be filled with love’s whisperings"
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown2 -
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members1 -
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members1 -
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members5 -
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members3 -
Cheers, RickO
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Cheers, RickO
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Cheers, RickO
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There was a religious woman who had to do a lot of traveling for her business. Flying made her very nervous, so she always took her Bible along with her.
One time, she was sitting next to a man. When he saw her pull out her Bible, he gave a little chuckle and smirk and went back to what he was doing.
After awhile, he turned to her and asked, "You don't really believe all that stuff in there do you?"
The woman replied, "Of course I do. It is the Bible."
He said, "Well, what about that guy that was swallowed by that whale?"
She replied, "Oh, Jonah. Yes, I believe that, it is in the Bible."
He asked, "Well, how do you suppose he survived all that time inside the whale?"
The woman said, "Well, I don't really know. I guess when I get to heaven, I will ask him."
"What if he isn't in heaven?" the man asked sarcastically.
"Then you can ask him," replied the woman.Cheers, RickO
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USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members3 -
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members7 -
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members3 -
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members7 -
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members4 -
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members10 -
WayneKennedys are my quest...
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Successful BST transactions with....Coinslave87, ChrisH821, Walkerguy21D, SanctionII.......................Received "You Suck" award 02/18/23
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