The forum needs a little humor.

stawick · January 17, 2023 10:56AM

@59Horsehide said:

How much?

ricko · January 17, 2023 11:44AM

A young boy, about eight years old, was at the corner grocery picking out a large size box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over and trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do.

"Nope, no laundry," the boy said, "I'm going to wash my dog." "But, you shouldn't use this to wash your dog. It's very powerful and if you wash your dog in this, he'll get sick. In fact, it might even kill him."

But, the boy was not to be stopped and carried the detergent to the counter and paid for it, even as the grocer still tried to talk him out of washing his dog.

About a week later, the boy was back in the store to buy some candy. The grocer asked the boy how his dog was doing.

"Oh, he died," the boy said.

The grocer, trying not to be an "I-told-you-so" said he was sorry the dog died, but added, "I tried to tell you not to use that detergent on your dog."

"Well, the boy replied, "I don't think it was the detergent that killed him."

"Oh? What was it then?"

"I think it was the spin cycle!"

Cheers, RickO

ricko · January 17, 2023 11:45AM

While preaching about forgiving ones enemies, the preacher asked for a show of hands of those who were willing to forgive their enemies. About half of the congregation raised their hands. The minister continued his lection and again asked for a show of hands. This time, 80 percent of his congregation raised their hands. Not giving up, the minister continued for fifteen more minutes. When he again asked for a show of hands, all members—except one—raised their hands."Mr. Jones,” asked the minster, “are you not willing to forgive your enemies?”"I don't have any.”Mr. Jones, that is very unusual. I know you are 86-years-old. Would you please come down to the front and explain to all of us how you have lived so long without making a single enemy in the world?”Mr. Jones teetered to the front and briefly explained, “Its easy. Ive outlived every one of them.”

Cheers, RickO

ricko · January 17, 2023 11:47AM

The Reverend Francis Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf.

So... he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and convinced him to say Mass for him that day. As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away. This way he knew he wouldn't accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish.

Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church!

At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, "You're not going to let him get away with this, are you?"

The Lord sighed, and said, "No, I guess not." Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole. It WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE! St. Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked, "Why did you let him do that?"

The Lord smiled and replied, "Who's he going to tell?"

Cheers, RickO

ricko · January 17, 2023 11:48AM

Five blondes go into a bar and one of them says to the bartender, "A round of drinks for me and my friends."
They get their drinks and the raise their glasses to a toast of, "To 51 days!" and they drink.

The "head blonde" asks the bartender to set them up again.

Again, the blondes toast "To 51 days!" and they drink. After they order a third round, the bartender says that he has to ask what the toast means.

The head blonde says, "We just finished a jigsaw puzzle. On the box it said, "two to four years" and we finished it in 51 days".

Cheers, RickO

JWP · January 17, 2023 2:15PM

JWP · January 17, 2023 2:19PM

@stawick said:

@59Horsehide said:

How much?

It doesn't cut the grass it just mows it down.

JWP · January 17, 2023 2:23PM

ricko · January 17, 2023 5:07PM

A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store.
The store clerks called 911 when they saw him collapse to the floor.
The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery…
He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at the Catholic Hospital. A nun was seated next to his bed holding a clipboard loaded with several forms, and a pen. She asked him how he was going to pay for his treatment.
"Do you have health insurance?" she asked. He replied in a raspy voice, "No health insurance.”
The nun asked, "Do you have money in the bank?” He replied, "No money in the bank."
Do you have a relative who could help you with the payments?" asked the irritated nun. He said, "I only have a spinster sister, and she is a nun”
The nun became agitated and announced loudly, "Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God.”
The patient replied, "Perfect. Send the bill to my brother-in-law."

Cheers, RickO

JWP · January 17, 2023 8:14PM

Some might say ingenious, I say just wait and let it cool

JWP · January 17, 2023 8:15PM

Lets play find the baby

1Mike1 · January 18, 2023 2:13AM

What do you mean I'm overbearing and condescending?

JWP · January 18, 2023 4:43AM

JWP · January 18, 2023 4:44AM

JWP · January 18, 2023 4:45AM

JWP · January 18, 2023 5:30AM

ironmanl63 · January 18, 2023 9:57AM

ricko · January 18, 2023 10:06AM

Cheers, RickO

ricko · January 18, 2023 10:07AM

Cheers, RickO

ricko · January 18, 2023 10:09AM

Cheers, RickO

ricko · January 18, 2023 10:12AM

Cheers, RickO

JWP · January 18, 2023 10:54AM

JWP · January 18, 2023 10:55AM

JWP · January 18, 2023 10:56AM

JWP · January 18, 2023 11:37AM

3

LanceNewmanOCC · January 18, 2023 3:16PM

@JWP said:

3

she's obviously a large mouth fan.

LanceNewmanOCC · January 18, 2023 3:16PM

my virtually every experience with cats:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TcfEXRUQ4ZQ

JWP · January 18, 2023 7:37PM

Lazybones · January 18, 2023 10:40PM

JWP · January 19, 2023 4:26AM

JWP · January 19, 2023 4:27AM

JWP · January 19, 2023 4:28AM

JWP · January 19, 2023 5:26AM

JWP · January 19, 2023 5:27AM

ironmanl63 · January 19, 2023 6:27AM

@JWP said:

I like eggs.

JWP · January 19, 2023 7:25AM

WAYNEAS · January 19, 2023 8:30AM

Wayne

JWP · January 19, 2023 8:37AM

JWP · January 19, 2023 8:38AM

JWP · January 19, 2023 8:39AM

ricko · January 19, 2023 11:04AM

Cheers, RickO

ricko · January 19, 2023 11:06AM

Larry's barn burned down and his wife, Susan, called the insurance company.

Susan spoke to the insurance agent and said, "We had that barn insured for fifty thousand, and I want my money."

The agent replied, "Whoa there, just a minute. Insurance doesn't work quite like that. An independent adjuster will assess the value of what was insured, and then we'll provide you with a new barn of similar worth."

There was a long pause, and then Susan replied, "If that's how it works, then I want to cancel the life insurance policy on my husband."

Cheers, RickO

OAKSTAR · January 19, 2023 11:14AM

Another great picture for our next Pareidolia client!! 🤣 😂

pocketpiececommems · January 19, 2023 1:43PM

@ricko said:

Cheers, RickO

Was that a picture from the Monday night playoff game😹😹

ricko · January 19, 2023 1:53PM

@pocketpiececommems ... I have no idea... saw it online and thought it was funny. I do not watch or follow any ball sports. Waste of productive time IMO. If they would leave the dang ball alone, there would be no issue. Cheers, RickO

JWP · January 20, 2023 4:25AM

JWP · January 20, 2023 4:25AM

JWP · January 20, 2023 4:27AM

3 legged chicken pie

ironmanl63 · January 20, 2023 4:28AM

@JWP said:

I want to meet this frog!

JWP · January 20, 2023 7:06AM

The forum needs a little humor.

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