The forum needs a little humor.

@DNADave said:

** One of each **

fuzzy dice

The rain was pouring down.
There, standing in front of a big puddle outside the pub, was an old Irishman, drenched, holding a stick, with a piece of string dangling in the water.

A passer-by stopped and asked, "What are you doing?"
"Fishing," replied the old man.
Feeling sorry for the old man, the gent says, "Come in out of the rain and have a drink with me."

In the warmth of the pub, as they sip their whiskies, the gentleman, being a bit of a smart aleck, cannot resist asking,
"How many have you caught today?"
"You're the eighth," says the old man.

@Drizzt said:

Ahhh! The old model 460 Air Conditioner. Remember them well.

From the local senior men's club:

Jest in Time

Very short stories
I was outside working in the yard when my wife came out to tell
me a funny thing she heard... that I had told her an hour ago.

The other day my wife opened her own jar of pickles, so I am now
considered a nonessential worker.

My wife told me there was a spider in the bathtub. I told her,
"That's good. Self-care is important."

Then there was this lo-o-ong
silence. Finally I told her, "I'll catch it and take it outside."

I was sitting across from my wife at the dinner table when she
started flirting. Then I realized she was just licking some salsa
from her fingers.

A recent study found that the average golfer walks about 900 miles a year.

Another study found golfers drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year, which means, on average, golfers get about 41 miles to the gallon.

Kind of makes you proud. I almost feel like a hybrid.

Cheers, RickO

With and without makeup:

Little Johnny was in class and the teacher announced that they were going to try something different to help everyone get to know each other a little better, and to help with their spelling.
She explained, "I want you to stand up and give us the occupation of your father, spell it, and say one thing he would give us all if he was here today."
The first student raised her hand to volunteer.
"Marcy," the teacher said. "You may go first."
Marcy replied, "My father is a banker. B-A-N-K-E-R and if he was here today, he would give us all a shiny new penny."
The teacher said, "Very nice, Marcy, who wants to go next?"
Kevin stood up and announced, "My father is a baker. B-A-K-E-R and if he was here today, he would give us all a freshly-baked cookie."
"Very good," the teacher told Kevin.
Jeff was next, and he said, "My father is an accountant. A-K, no wait, A-C-K, no..."
Before he could attempt to spell it once more, the teacher cut him off and told him to sit back down and to think about it for a while. When he thought he knew how to spell it, he could stand back up and try again.
Little Johnny raised his hand in excitement hoping to be acknowledged by the teacher.
The teacher called on little Johnny to go next.
Johnny said, "My father is a bookie. B-O-O-K-I-E and if he was here today, he would give us all 20:1 odds Jeff will never be able to spell "accountant."

Heard this at work last night. "He's so stupid it takes him an hour and a half to watch 60 minutes."

@1630Boston said:

Good thing it doesn't say not to play in the pipe.

Don't see thesse ads much anymore!