Please post examples of "auction speak"
Insider2
Posts: 14,452 ✭✭✭✭✭
This is stolen from a thread on another forum. I'm not smart enough or witty enough to have thought it up myself. Sorry.
Cal, the original poster (calcol) is and he posted a discussion which looks to be a lot of fun: I told him I was going to steal his idea.
Cal, started the discussion in this way: "Auction catalogers have a tough job at times. They have to please both the consignor and eventual buyer. One way they try to do this is by oblique phrasing of negatives. A while back, I started a thread about "blending of impression" being cataloger-speak for weak strike. Another that comes to mind is "subdued luster", which is cataloger-speak for dull. What are some others?"
Cal
In reply, I opened an auction catalogue and posted these to show how easy it is to find examples;
"A little "Cabinet Friction" = AU-50
"First of these that we have seen" = Modern replica.
"Tiny contact Marks" = Stippling to hide a repaired field.
"Deep steal gray with slate iridescence" = Corroded coin, artificially toned.
"Violet-gold surfaces with bursts of dark blue iridescence' = "dirty" gold.
"Virtual absence of any naked eye marks" = Please don't put a 2X loupe on this coin or look closely.
Hope you all find this as funny as I do! Thanks Cal. Enjoy
Comments
I always chuckled at "key date" on coins that are as common as dirt.
Even the big auction houses have given up on saying that the 1909-S-VDB Cent is "scarce" or "rare." Now it's just "popular."
Some of the descriptions of crappy toning are priceless.
Burnt ember patina with swamp green overtones.
Yes, the 09s-VDB and 16-D dime are not scarce.....just expensive. There is probably a roll of 16-D's on the floor at any large show. Jack Beymer usually has 8-10 in his case in various grades. One show he had 11 ranging from ag to AU58.
I had a coin that was bought in an auction come into the office in an old soft plastic holder. The coin was "swimming in a liquid greed soup from the deterioration of the holder. I conserved the coin and returned it. The customer sent it back and claimed I had switched coins as the one that was returned no longer had "beautiful sea green toning!!"
They remind me of circus hucksters.
"A tiny carbon spot/mark for easy providence identification" = Huge ugly ass carbon spot/mark that you or anyone else will never unsee when looking at this coin.
"Freshly graded from Europe" = Recent Ebay buy sent in for a reholder by a dealer who is 5% Russian
"Swimming with luster" = I over exposed this photo.
"Will be appreciated by the experts in the series" = Don't ask why it's overpriced, you're not an expert. Just bid.
"This coin needs to be seen in hand to appreciate it!" = Please bid and do not notice that I do not accept returns.
"So close to the next grade which is worth 10x more. A quality piece". = I've already spent almost 10x the value of this coin trying to bump this POS to the next grade.
"Fresh to market" = Sold to a new dealer
"Stickered for quality" = Stickered so I can bump the price up
"Affordable key date" = Only the second highest mintage of this series
Potted Palm bidder = House knows it's worth more than your bidding.
There are some good ones being posted on the other forum too. I've asked if I can quote some here. Waiting for response. May I quote some of these over there?
You can qoute some of mine if you like.
I don't think anyone has "rights" to anything posted on a public forum.
Just doing their job. It's the same at any type of auction. Coins or livestock. An important part of the auctioneers job is to be entertaining. The florid and over-the-top descriptions of the merchandise is a time homered part of any auction. The better the auctioneer, the more outrageous the claims. It's to be expected. It makes it FUN! After all aren't we having fun talking about it here?
tv shysters maybe?
And all the time on ebay.
i totally agree.
"This coin will be the highlight of your collection" = Expect to pay alot and this will be the only thing you will own after your wife divorces you when she finds out how much you spent.
We're teasing with love.
The "potted palm bidder" is standing next the "back wall bidder" who is quite literally the back wall. One dealer friend related the time when the auctioneer kept upping his bid. He looked around and saw that his competition was ... the wall.
@AmazonX
Thanks! Done.
I copied your post. he mods just deleted it. Guess they are jealous of CU.
I wrote this in an old thread a couple years back.
New collectors, please educate yourself before spending money on coins; there are people who believe that using numismatic knowledge to rip the naïve is what this hobby is all about.
They got scared of my greatness ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I always translated this one as =Ugly as sin, but dont let that stop you!
The three stars scared them off. I'm eventually going to post them again but one-at-a-time and not mention CU or you.
Sounds like Weiss.
You're right.
I don't remember where I saw it, maybe eBay.
"Beautiful Snow white toning "
For an ASE covered with milk spots.
eBay ID-bruceshort978
Successful BST:here and ATS, bumanchu, wdrob, hashtag, KeeNoooo, mikej61, Yonico, Meltdown, BAJJERFAN, Excaliber, lordmarcovan, cucamongacoin, robkool, bradyc, tonedcointrader, mumu, Windycity, astrotrain, tizofthe, overdate, rwyarmch, mkman123, Timbuk3,GBurger717, airplanenut, coinkid855 ,illini420, michaeldixon, Weiss, Morpheus, Deepcoin, Collectorcoins, AUandAG, D.Schwager.
I just read a gold coin description that said the coin was spot and stain free. And there on the reverse where some of the ugliest brown/black stains I had ever seen. Looked like ink was spilled on it. LOL.
Expertly conserved = harshly cleaned or buffed.
NOT MINE but funny:
Wonderful secondary patina = dipped & retoned.
Wholly original toning = stained, splotchy and ugly.
Hehehe... these are my specialty! Enjoy:
"BU" --- "Beat Up"; "Buffed Up"; "Been Used"; "Butt Ugly"
"Rare" --- "I didn't come across a single one of these in my pocket change this morning."
"Borderline" or "Essentially" --- "Not even close."
"Gem" --- "This coin was dug out of the ground... you know... like how gems are found."
"Rich Toning" --- "The coin is covered in a thick, black, tarrish looking residue."
"Blast White" or "Highly Lustrous" --- "Dipped for an extensive period of time so as to remove all traces of toning and luster. Coin was then scrubbed using steel wool and left to be polished overnight in a rock tumbler."
"From an Inheritance" --- "Ain't worth squat, but I got it because somebody I knew died."
"From an Estate" --- Meant to imply that a wealthy and knowledgeable collector owned this and passed it on to me; I know nothing about it, so please buy it thinking you're getting a rip.
"From a Previously Unknown Hoard" --- "Until this morning I had no idea my wife kept her spare change in a jar under her side of the bed."
"Unsearched" --- "I just finished searching these, but for the past few minutes they have remained unsearched."
"Under-graded" --- "My price ignores the assigned grade because I overpaid to acquire it in the hopes that PCGS would upgrade it. They didn't, so now I have to try to trick potential buyers into believing the coin is better than it really is."
"Potential Upgrade" --- "Has a chance of being assigned a higher numerical grade if the new owner removes the coin from the PCGS holder and then places it in a cardboard flip and writes a higher numerical grade on the 2x2 with a pen."
"Investment" --- "I've so drastically overpriced this coin that it'll take you decades to come even remotely close to recovering your initial outlay."
"Price On Request" --- "I've so grossly overpriced this coin that I'm too embarrassed to publish the amount."
"Original Bank Roll" --- "The paper roll I used to wrap these worthless coins… I originally got it from the bank."
"Shipwreck Coin" --- "My cousin had this coin in his pocket that one afternoon he had too much to drink and plowed his bass boat into the bridge abutment."
"Hurry, It Won't Last Long!" --- "The coin is so ugly and worthless that if nobody buys it soon I'll probably just throw it out."
Blast White - Chemically altered to give the poor thing that nice, freshly minted look.
Nice Crust - Found under the leaking oil pan of an abandoned Ford 5000 tractor in rural Minnesota.
Unmolested patina - Black; virtually no details visible.
Dave
There are plenty high end sellers who oversell their pq rarities with overly unctuous descriptions, especially those that make it sound like a rare edible delicacy than a well struck attractive metal disk with toning.