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mozeppa
Posts: 4,431 ✭✭✭
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mozeppa
Posts: 4,431 ✭✭✭
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Should you drop out in order to keep a customer happy or just figure it is an open marketplace
for all and let it be at that? So far no bad repercussions when I have beat them, in fact one time
I emailed them and said congratuations when they beat me. Not the same as your situation however.
If this situation actually destroys a friendship, the friendship was not that strong to begin with. I see no need for you to beat yourself up over it.
Russ, NCNE
sorry for the loss, happy for the lesson learned, hopeful that time will heal the wound.
Remember, friends come and go – enemies accumulate.
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since 8/1/6
It can become compulsive enough to make you do things you might not otherwise.
You've swallowed every ounce of pride a guy can swallow. Wouldn't it suck if this was about something other than a coin, though ?
Like Russ said, it could not have been a very good friendship if it's over because of a stupid coin.
Maybe you shoulda let him win on the golf course !
Regardless, the seller would want all the competition that he could get.
What you were doing was trying to look out for yourself and getting the coin.
I don't think that you should have any remorse, unless you have an agreement with your friend not to bid against each other, which is theoretically illegal.
I firmly believe in numismatics as the world's greatest hobby, but recognize that this is a luxury and without collectors, we can all spend/melt our collections/inventories.
eBaystore
People are so petty it boggles my mind. Do so many people think all day of all the slights that have occurred to them in the past?
This is someone who needs medication!
I think it is a violation of ebay rules to do that but who cares, i do it too. Usually I word it like "if the coin fails to sell for what you want, I'll give you..." - a smart seller can read between the lines, if they aren't smart, they wouldn't end it early for you anyway.
New collectors, please educate yourself before spending money on coins; there are people who believe that using numismatic knowledge to rip the naïve is what this hobby is all about.
We'll use our hands and hearts and if we must we'll use our heads.
<< <i>Mike,
If this situation actually destroys a friendship, the friendship was not that strong to begin with. I see no need for you to beat yourself up over it.
Russ, NCNE >>
Frankly, I have never begrudged a friend for getting a coin that I would want--often the vicarious thrill of a friend's score is nearly as great as if it were my own--without the money to pay to get it.
In retrospect, the better way to handle it would have been to just bid on it like everyone else. That way, you both would have a fair and equal chance at winning the coin. You essentially declared to your friend that getting this coin, by hook or by crook, was more important than his trust.
I am shocked that so many people who answered this thread put acquiring coins above friendship and trust. Then again, from what I have seen in the coin biz, perhaps I should not be surprised.
The high bidder (your supposed friend) chose not to play the game, and you won. If he wanted it badly enough he would have played the game.
Now he has sour grapes and is blaming you. He should have stepped up and offered more money if he wanted it so badly.
<< <i>I am shocked that so many people who answered this thread put acquiring coins above friendship and trust. >>
Lest you misunderstand my reponse, that's not the implication I meant to convey. My feeling is simply that true friendship means the willingness to forgive the transgression.
Russ, NCNE
Care to reveal the auction/coin in question, and who you are talking about? No real need, aside from curiosity.
<< <i>Mike,
If this situation actually destroys a friendship, the friendship was not that strong to begin with. I see no need for you to beat yourself up over it.
Russ, NCNE >>
That's right, Russ does that to me all the time, and we're still friends... You Bat Rastard!!!
<< <i>
<< <i>By contacting the high bidder and revealing your offer the seller was obviously trying to set up a bidding war.
The high bidder (your supposed friend) chose not to play the game, and you won. If he wanted it badly enough he would have played the game.
Now he has sour grapes and is blaming you. He should have stepped up and offered more money if he wanted it so badly. >>
no...actually , he saw it first and bid on it first.
i was the bad guy and emailed the seller about selling it out right. >>
I understand that. My point is that once the seller got your offer he revealed it to the other bidder (your friend) in hopes of setting up a bidding war.
Your friend decided it was too high and is now mad at you for paying more than he would for the item.
If he truly wanted it, he would have told the seller to hold to his ebay auction and offered/bid more.
Freak
Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe.
"Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value---zero."----Voltaire
"Everything you say should be true, but not everything true should be said."----Voltaire
If you really had to have the coin. You should have been able to talk to the friend and say. Hey I want the coin as well. Happy sniping. Your friend certainly would of understood.
I would have been very upset if I was the friend who got stabbed in the back. But I still would forgive you after some time to cool off.
I think you have learned a big lesson, and we all sometimes need to be reminded of what being a friend is about.
Myself included.
Thank you for sharing, what you have done today was very bold. And if John is reading this I hope you forgive him. Cause it sure sounds like you would be missing out on a good friend who made a poor choice. Life is too short to lose someone over this.
The name is LEE!
<< <i>Just give him the con as a gift, then you will be friends forever (he might even refuse it
Trying to con him out of the coin is what got him into trouble to begin with
My posts viewed
since 8/1/6
For what it's worth ...anyone who emails me to purchase before ebay has a chance to do it's magic---gets on the blocked bidder list straight away.
<< <i>I mean you no disrespect, however,IMO, this has nothing to do with the coin... >>
I think Freak hit the nail on the head. Trust is like a glass, once it's broken it's hard to ever repair it so it will hold water again.
"I cannot forget the follies and vices of others so soon as I ought, nor their offences against myself. My feelings are not puffed about with every attempt to move them. My temper would perhaps be called resentful. --My good opinion once lost, is lost forever." -Mr. Darcy Pride and Prejudice Chapter 11
<< <i>yeah but he never expected that out of me...neither did i ...
what hurts is... he said he wasn't surprized by my actions...but i was....when it was too late.
12 step program? ...you are so off base with that ...i have maybe one drink a month... if that. >>
You've inflicted the punishment on yourself-those are the most painful. If he said he wasn't surprised by your actions, then he was looking for an excuse to end the friendship long before this happened. (as mentioned before, it's a COIN!) Move on....
hi, i'm tom.
i do not doctor coins like some who post in here.
Relax, a friend would not give this situation a second thought.
Ken
It's a coin for heaven's sake. If a coin was enough to break the friendship, that's really sad.
If I ever get so petty that a lost Ebay auction is enough to cause me to disown a friend, I'd like you all to do me a favor: Shoot me in the head! Please!
That's just pathetic. You were willing to buy the coin. He was offered a chance to offer a higher price. He had the money to buy it. He didn't. End of story.
If this was a one-of-a-kind purchase, I could understand him being upset, but even then all he had to do is offer to buy it from you. He's just being needlessly petty.
You've lost enough sleep over this, Mike. The fact that you feel bad about it says to me that you're a better person than your supposed friend.
-- Adam Duritz, of Counting Crows
My Ebay Auctions
and it sets us apart from practitioners and consultants. Gregor
You and Russ, Russ and Marty, etc. are friendly rivals. That is much different than this scenario, IMO.
It's a coin for heaven's sake. If a coin was enough to break the friendship, that's really sad.
It's not the coin, it's the behavior. If the OP was fooling around with his friend's wife behind the friend's back, would it be okay because, after all, he would "just be dating a girl"?
Trust is like a glass, once it's broken it's hard to ever repair it so it will hold water again.